my story – Page 8 – The Welcome Home

What a difference a day makes…

I thought I’d write a bit tonight — perhaps an update of sorts or maybe just an “I’m checking in” sort of post. Whatever it might end up being, suffice it to say, I’ve missed blogging, I’ve missed this sort of portal to the world and I’ve missed looking for things that might encourage, inspire or give some help or hope to someone else.

I could not have known as I wrote my last blog entry that that night my life or, rather, life for our family would take such a dramatic turn or that we would face something for which we were absolutely and completely unprepared. Not lost on me is the irony of the timing of the content and, thus, the subject of my last post – “Rejoice with me.” As a matter of fact, I’m in awe of the marvelous presence of the Lord.

I had been reading emails from readers, thinking of events in the past and current trials friends were experiencing. I could not have known a storm was brewing and about to break over our home. As I was reading emails, I decided to look into Luke 15 — which was, incidentally, near to where I was reading in my personal study [in a series of events I now marvel were quite obviously of the Lord].

So, these have been 94 of the most arduous and sorrowful days I have ever faced or experienced in my whole life. Perhaps I’ll write about them sometime, but for now, I just wanted to communicate that we’re experiencing joy in the Lord like we’ve never known and, at the same time, a sorrow we cannot fully articulate and some days feel we cannot bear. It is in those times we know the Love of the Saviour afresh and His loving kindness and presence is our All in all.

I pray my next post will not be a quote from the Scripture, though it would be, but an enthusiastic request: rejoice with me. In the meantime, I would ask that if it comes to your mind, I’d appreciate prayer for a precious lost little lamb.

God bless you all.

“It will be worth it all when we see Jesus… life’s trials will seem so small, when we see Christ – one glimpse of His dear face, all sorrow will erase, so bravely run the race, till we see Christ.”

—pamela

New Year’s Resolutions

It happens every year. I resolve to do this or that thing – more or less or better or not at all. In addition to those resolves, I always think there’s something unique or particularly inspiring about the New Year. New Year. New calendar. New date book. New pages for the notebook — yes, as antiquated as it is and it remains, my palm pilot, my blackberry, my iphone, my lapbook, etc., etc is, simply: a spiral bound notebook of lined paper in which I write notes, message, recipes, web addresses, grocery lists, quotes, Scripture verses. And doodles.

Another thing coincidentally happens. I sort of secretly resolve to not resolve to do anything new/better/different/again. Well, except to lose weight, read through my Bible, spend more time in prayer, spend more time with my family, exercise, read more, write a book, blog more regularly…

It’s like I attempt to trick myself into complying with new (actually, old – but recycled) resolutions. I do this by saying I’m not going to make any *written* resolutions. I say: I’m just going to do a few things better.

Two days into the New Year’s Resolutions new year I’ve already had some recalibrating (I got that one from President Obama). I’m recalibrating several things. My time schedule, bedtime schedule, weightloss, exercise routines and Bible reading. My-o-my is it ever easy to set lofty goals on December 30th. You know, when the resolve to not eat any more Christmas goodies is strongly in place — you know, bcz you’re sort of full & tired of them — that, and the New Year looks far off!! And doable.

It’s easy to sort of smugly think you’ll do so much better with the new year on the horizon — that, and a new decade, too!

So, if you’ve already had to readjust or recalibrate the expectations/resolves you put on your self or things you wrote down on a scrap of paper. Know that you’re not alone. Studies show that something like 10-12% of “resolvers” ever keep those resolutions anyway. That’s not saying that you shouldn’t strive for bettering yourself or that you shouldn’t regroup and get back up and keep on keeping on… it just means that you’re not alone. There are a bunch of other people who’re commiserating with you on this one.

So, my solution? My advice to you (and to myself)? What does the LORD require of thee? Ask Him… He is ready to answer you. His Word says that He has shown you what is good and what He requires of you (Micah 6.8):

“…But to do justly, and to love mercy and to walk humbly with thy God.”

May He richly bless you, keep you, direct you and joy over you with singing in this new year!

with love, pamela

My First Pie

My first pie was probably the best pie I’ve ever made — though my mama tells me that a fresh blackberry pie I made something like eight years after that first pie was the best pie I ever made. I don’t know if either one was really the best — but in my fond memories, or the events that have made the greatest impression on me are those events that were ‘first’s’ — those attempts at achieving perfection with no experience — it was the best pie.

Perfection doesn’t necessarily come from doing something hundreds of times — but is something done well hundreds of times — that’s what makes for “perfection.” I’m finally beginning to see that the adage “practice makes perfect” isn’t necessarily correct. For something done wrong — especially done wrong hundreds of times — is still wrong. But something done right over and over and over becomes something done perfectly well.

I’m learning is that nothing is ever perfect. But you know what else? Close is really good enough. In cooking, that is.

My first pie…

Just south of where we were married in San Francisco, my husband and I rented our first home — a small apartment with a very small galley type kitchen. I was attempting to create and make a home for the two of us and Wes’s two cats. Nothing seemed to speak home to me more than pie. I removed the packaging and opened my beautiful new Better Homes & Gardens Cookbook… and saw the photograph of Apple Pie… recipe on page…

I carefully wrote down all I’d need to make that pie (along with Fried Chicken – but that’s another First story for another day). I went to our local market and bought all I needed for that dinner. I recall spending $176. Yes. One-hundred-seventy-six dollars. Two people. Yes, that, too, is another First story for another day.

I carefully put away in the little cabinets and in the little fridge all the different groceries. I opened my cookbook, got out all my new baking stuff… my huge(!) mixing bowl set ;o) and measuring cups and spoons. I got out all the necessary ingredients. I read the recipe again. Hmmm.

I called my husband at work and asked him: When the recipe says to pare and core the apples, does that mean take off the skin and stuff and cut it up? He told me he thought that sounded about right. ;o)

It was the best apple pie I’ve ever made.

A hero comes home.

teacuppamela Today

When she gets off the plane she’ll likely look much like all the passengers — probably weary, probably shifting the backpack and carry-on and probably looking around to see familiar faces. But to us she won’t be just any ordinary passenger and this won’t be just any ordinary trip to the airport.

She’s left behind hundreds and hundreds of orphaned children, muddy red clay, deeply rutted unpaved roads and a world of poverty, famine and loss. Now she’s become very familiar with a whole different way of life and a culture that’s no longer foreign to her. She’s left part of her heart with friends and loved ones there. She’s left behind the daily arduous tasks of mere survival. But she’s also left behind armfuls of love… children for whom her love no words describe. She’s walked hundreds of miles, dished hundreds of bowls of rice and beans, clipped hundreds of little nails and held hundreds of hands.

But today she returns home… and our hearts are probably as full of love for her as the love she’s left behind. It’s sort of a bittersweet thing to wish her here with us and yet to know she’s so loved and needed where she was just yesterday.

But today… our hero comes home.

Happy Birthday Sweet Kathryn

Another birthday away from home… we’re missing you so far away in Jinja, Uganda… but we praise the LORD for His work in and through you and trust Him to continue blessing and blessing you as He has all of your days. We know that the best place and the safest place to be is in the Hand of the LORD – wherever that is in all the world. Thank you Lord — thank you, Kathryn, for the precious gift of you. Happy Birthday, darling! I. love. you. I. miss. you. today. See you soon.

kathryn feeding Massesi children