Month: June 2011

Wasting Experiences

Do you occasionally emerge from a situation — a conversation, a class, a conference… an experience — and say or think: Well, that was sure a waste of time or that was a wasted opportunity or that was a waste of money.   We do say or think those things, from time to time, don’t we?

What keeps us from saying that was a waste — or — what would keep up from saying or feeling that was a waste?

As  I’ve shared with you many times, I write a lot… I write in journals, I write on scraps of paper, in notebooks and post-it notes.  I take notes when I’m attending conferences, studies, prayer meetings and even when I’m out shopping I’ll make a note of something I’ve seen or read.  For many reasons I’ve done this through the years… I’m not exactly sure when or why I began doing this, but I must say, the practice sure has helped me to pay attention, to keep information I might otherwise forget and, probably more importantly, it helps me to have clear records or accounts of things I’ve heard or read.  You know how you hear something and later you attempt to recall it and your recollections are fuzzy or, worse, completely different than what actually occurred or what exactly was said?   I think it’s in those times that we might most often say of the event: well, that was a waste of time.

It’s been in those times, where I either didn’t pay attention or didn’t remember accurately what occurred or what was said, that I might tend to consider the time spent to have been a waste.

And then I realize:  that event, talk, conversation or whatever wasn’t a waste of time, it was my lack of interest, attention, response or involvement that made it — for me — a waste of time.  Or, in other words, I wasted the time.  What could have and really should have been for my benefit, education, enjoyment, betterment or encouragement was wasted on me.  Sort of like purchasing an expensive item and dropping it out the window of the car rather than taking it home and using it for the purpose intended.  What a waste — a waste of time, money and energy — but more, what a waste that the purpose or use of the item will never be accomplished.

I think of the many times the Lord has sent me a trial, a testing of my faith, a good word, a blessing, a sorrow… and I either rejected or questioned or disregarded what was sent my way.  A waste…

Several times in the last couple of years in particular, the Lord has allowed or brought about things in my life that have been quite painful, quite grievous, quite heavy and, frankly, some have been quite embarrassing.  But, interestingly, in most all of these times, I’ve been able to see or think — in the trial or in the experience — that God in His great wisdom had surely allowed the situation both for my good and His glory.  I wish I could say that all the events and experiences had this spiritual growth or influence — how blessed I would be today had I yielded to the Lord instantly or had I not wasted the experience.

So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth:
it shall not return unto me void,
but it shall accomplish that which I please,
and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
–Isaiah 55.11

So, in order that my experiences not be wasted, I must determine to pay attention, to yield to the Holy Spirit, to seek the Face of the Lord in every matter, in everything, so that the thing He sent will be accomplished in me.

When there are losses, misunderstandings, offenses, distractions, etc., etc., I see how the experiences can either bring fruit and thus, glory to God — or — they’re wasted me — on us.  Indifference, neglect, pride, arrogance, ignorance or whatever wastes the experience.  But, interestingly, that doesn’t mean that it returns to God void.  When we have losses, scars, pain or shame, it is amazing how God uses even those things to refine us – to mold us – to work in us His purposes.  Still I wonder how many blessings we miss, how much joy we miss because we allow ourselves to indulge in wasting experiences.

Worse, how many times to we miss a blessing — and waste an experience — because we listen to the devil and/or are swayed by his cunning.  And, truly, we are seeing the deceit, the gashes, the lies and smear marks of the devil all around us.  The doubting, the deception, misunderstandings, divisions in homes, friendships and churches, employees being wrongly accused, believers following lies… all these and more are sure evidences of the handiwork of the devil lurking in the shadows and ever prowling to see whom he may devour.  And a devourer, he is. A destroyer he is.  The accuser of the brethren he is.

O, that we would not miss the marvelous opportunities the Lord is presenting us.  O, that we would be found faithful to seek His Face in all things — to read His Word, to pray, to call out to Him in trials, to cry out to Him in the midst of fear, to trust Him in hardship, to lean on Him in times of grief, rejection and temptation — to praise Him in bounty, blessing and to be thankful: even in tragedy.  For all His ways are good… O, that we not waste another experience.

Keeping a journal or book of remembrance is a wonderful way to record and then keep for reference the ways and dealings of the Lord in your life… lest your experiences be wasted.

 

Things are looking up!

I just heard that phrase.  It has nothing to do with anything in particular, but I was just thinking:  doesn’t just hearing that phrase lift your thoughts?  Imagine if you were to be shopping for groceries this afternoon and you were to overhear someone in the next aisle say:  Things are looking up!  You’d probably smile and think, my-o-my… I wonder what’s happening with her?

What if your husband were to walk through the back doorway this evening and exclaim, Honey! Things are looking up! Or, consider hearing your son strolling into the kitchen announcing:  Ma, things are looking up! Imagine picking up the paper and reading the headline (regarding the economy, the weather or new modest clothing styles): Things are looking up!

Smile.

I’m thinking of saying the things are looking up phrase the next time I go to the store.  When asked, how’s your day going, I think I’ll try answering: Things are looking up! I mean, no offense here, but isn’t: things are looking up a bit more encouraging than, say, Better than I deserve? Or, how about: Good, thanks.  That just doesn’t offer anyone any hope or help at all.   But things are looking up just seems to be an invitation to smile — an encouragement to agree that things are indeed looking up!

‘Course, I’ll probably be fumbling with my rewards-card and my purse and cellphone and keys and debit card and I’ll probably just greet the cashier as I always do… in an attempt to bring out a smile by asking: How’s your day going?  And then in return I’ll probably just reply, Good, thanks!  And on the way out, I’ll remember: Things are looking up! doh!!

I hope I smile and remember the things are looking up phrase.  It’s so much cheerier than: Good, thanks.  

I’m cleaning some cabinets today, on this second day of summer.  It’s very bright and cheery — I have all the lights on in the kitchen and dining room.  Things are looking up!!

Stuff’s going to work out.

I know.  I’d probably grimace if one of my kids started an essay: “Stuff’s going to work out.”   But, it’s on my mind today: stuff — and how it works out.   But I want to begin by saying: stuff’s probably not going to work out how you thought it would — or even how you hoped it would — but, truly, in the end, stuff’s going to work out.

Last year, the year you’ve heard me describe as the most sorrowful year of my life,  I heard a song… it was one of two songs that so resonated with me that I played them over and over and over again.  Hymns and psalms and spiritual songs minister to my heart, they lift my thoughts heavenward and they seem to dispel the darkness of doubt and despair.

Over and over in my head I would hear the words, It’s going to be alright.  I knew this — because I knew that God only does all things well — but I also didn’t know this — do you know what I mean?  I didn’t know – know – know this because of what I was *seeing.*  What I was seeing looked to be anything but alright.  But in my wrestling, I knew the it was so big God must be in it.  In my wrestling I knew that none of it had escaped His gaze and that He would work it together for good.  He could not do anything other than that.  And I knew that.   But for ninety-seven days I struggled.  Struggle still.  Sometimes.

On the night that my whole world seemed to come crashing down around me I didn’t see that it was going to be alright.  I didn’t see how it could be alright.  Through a series of events, that led to one of our children leaving home for ninety seven days, I learned to see, believe, trust and hope in God as I never have before — and what I didn’t know at the time was that God was, indeed, using that event as an instrument to both chasten and strengthen me — to both humble and lift me — to crush me and to fill me.  I needed all of that — I needed it much more than I needed to know that it was all going to be alright.  What I needed to know was something I thought I knew but didn’t.   It was something I taught I knew but didn’t.  Maybe that’s a bit harsh — I guess, in reality, I knew as much as I knew of that truth — but I didn’t know as much I know of that fact now.

That child was longing for love, attention, time, affirmation… and I was busy.  I was distracted.  I was doing good things but not best things.  And that child went away — to my great shame, regret and sorrow — but by the grace of God returned ninety-seven days later.  Returned home, broken, completely restored and strengthened in faith and was genuinely welcomed home — such a beautiful testimony of the mercy and grace of God.  I, on the other hand, very humbled, broken and filled with such regret and sorrow, was still trying to gather up the shards and pieces of my life.  I am only now beginning to understand all that the Lord had for me in that lesson.  And,  I so do not want to miss anything He had for me in that very expensive and painful lesson — and though I’m not speaking financially at all, it was, truly,  a very costly lesson — I cannot afford to miss what He had, or has, for me in it/through it.

I won’t elaborate on the details of those days — but I’d like to say that the lessons I learned in that valley were and are very, very precious and have given me great hope and great faith in the Lord’s dealings with me — with us all.  He showed me, in so many ways, how resourceful and creative He is.  He showed me that none can pluck one of His little ones out of His hand.  He showed me that He cares for my child — my children — more and better than I ever could and He showed me He loved that little one… and never shifted His gaze.  And He loved me, too.  No matter that I did not deserve His mercy and His love.  He showed me that He loved me too much to leave me where I was – going on the track I was going.  I needed that correction.  I needed it so much.

One thing kept ringing through — I knew for certain all through that dark valley was that I was going to to need what I received there – I was going to need that faith, that hope and that trust in God.  I didn’t know how, I didn’t know why and I didn’t know when — but I knew I was going to need it.  I said to myself over and over: you’re going to need this.  You’re going to need this one.

And I did need it — not only for the following, but for many things since:  Only a couple of months later…  it didn’t take long and it wasn’t at all difficult to figure it out  when our missionary son returned from Africa – and then the following week lay sick in the hospital — in a coma, very sick with cerebral malaria.  It was then that I knew that I knew… the Lord truly is all I have and all I need.

It’s a real risk sharing stuff sometimes — but I think it would be pretty selfish not to.  If you barely hanging on… if you feel like you’re sinking in too deep… if there’s some pain that’s tearing you apart, then, would you cast your cares upon the Lord Jesus — would you trust Him that it’s all going to be alright — that He truly is going to work everything together for good — for your good and His glory.  He who cannot lie — cannot fail.  And He, who loved you first… loves you still.  And stuff’s going to work out.  Really… you have His Word on it.  Maybe not like you thought and not like you hoped… but stuff’s going to work out.

The words to the Sara Groves song: It’s Going to be Alright

It’s going to be alright, It’s going to be alright

I can tell by your eyes that you’re not getting any sleep
And you try to rise above it, but feel you’re sinking in too deep
Oh, oh I believe, I believe that

It’s going to be alright, It’s going to be alright

I believe you’ll outlive this pain in you heart
And you’ll gain such a strength from what is tearing you apart
Oh, oh I believe I believe that

It’s going to be alright, It’s going to be alright

When some time has past us, and the story if retold
It will mirror the strength and the courage in your soul
Oh, oh, I believe I believe,

I believe, I believe

I did not come here to offer you cliche’s
I will not pretend to know of all your pain
Just when you cannot, then I will hold out faith, for you

It’s going to be alright, It’s going to be alright

It’s going to be alright
It’s going to be alright 

I can tell by your eyes that you’re not getting any sleep
And you try to rise above it, but feel you’re sinking in too deep
Oh, oh I believe, I believe that

It’s going to be alright
It’s going to be alright

I believe you’ll outlive this pain in you heart
And you’ll gain such a strength from what is tearing you apart
Oh, oh I believe I believe that

It’s going to be alright
It’s going to be alright

When some time has past us, and the story if retold
It will mirror the strength and the courage in your soul
Oh, oh, I believe I believe,

I believe
I believe

I did not come here to offer you clichÈ’s
I will not pretend to know of all your pain
Just when you cannot, then I will hold out faith, for you

It’s going to be alright
It’s going to be alright

In the life of a blog…

It seems that at some point in the life of every blog there’s a post about blogs in general, about bloggers and why they blog or, specifically, a post about that blog and its purpose.

I don’t know why we do it, but every now and then we do it – we feel the need to amplify our purpose or we feel compelled to justify or defend our writing.

I love words. I love writing. I write all the time.  I occasionally post a few of the things I’ve written.  I have journals full of notes.  I have folders full of messages.  I have a bunch of books in my head that will never be published.  More often than not, I don’t write about the stuff that’s really going on — because too many things include — I mean, most things include — other people. Duh.

If I’ve learned nothing else in the last eighteen months or so it is this:  other people’s lives are other people’s lives.  My interaction, my involvement, my thoughts or reactions or actions or feelings must stringently take into account: other people.   This seems pretty elementary, pretty obvious and pretty shallow at first blush.  But, I assure you: it is not.

We go along thinking things are one way or some way and we find out later that they’re not as we assumed at all.  This is where the “other people” part comes into play.  This is where the experience of other people, the thoughts of other people, the impressions of other people, the reactions of other people completely change whatever it is you thought or felt about a situation.  You hear about, read about what someone else said, thought or felt about a situation or thought or felt about you and suddenly a new reality dawns on you.   Sometimes that new reality is sweet and refreshing and feels good.  Other times it’s not.

And you can never write about it.  Even though you desperately want to.

I say this (this being an entry on blogs, blogging &  bloggers – writers in general) because, face it, those of us who have an insatiable need desire to write usually have a bunch of thoughts on pretty much anything and everything.  Most bloggers have so much to talk about.  And occasionally talk too much.  I probably could’ve or should’ve simply left out the ‘occasionally’ in that last sentence.

But we often don’t talk about stuff, we don’t write about stuff that we’d really like to talk about or write about because lots of things involve other people and it’s more important to guard their hearts (or identity), preserve their reputation or feelings than it is to share our own commentary on the matter.  Most of us have to learn to draw a line regarding public and private information — that, and in some situations, our opinion is not all that important.   Some people have a harder time discerning between the two and too often walk too close to the line.  Or over it.  Problem is, it’s really very hard to know where that line is sometimes.

Foodies have weight problems sometimes.  Wordies make weighty problems sometimes.

In trying to be careful what I share about personal matters, family, sensitive issues and experiences,  I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s been both a blessing and a curse to be the kind of woman who shares stories, draws word pictures, communicates in analogies, etc., etc.  But I’d seriously rather run the risk of being authentically candid and transparent than to be so vague or guarded that my life or writing is misconstrued or deceptive.  There’s so much to say, encouragement to give from lessons learned, praises to share from blessings received.

So… I blog. And this has been one of those confessions-of-a-blogger posts.  Sort of .   I try to be relevant so that your time’s not wasted, I try to be helpful so your time’s well spent.  I confess, though, I must occasionally skirt issues, dance around the pink elephant in the room or try desperately to convey a thought without divulging a confidence.  And I hope I get it right.  I hope more often than not that I communicate effectively.  When in doubt, I don’t write.  Or I delete.  The empty gaps on the blog calendar are not empty gaps in my life.  I write much more than you read.

But when you read The Welcome Home blog I guess I’d like you to know that I hope you feel like I’m just talking stuff over with you here in my kitchen.  In the end I hope this blog’s an encouragement to you – I hope my getting through stuff helps you get through stuff – I hope my hardships become your strengths and I hope my discoveries  add to your life.  More, I hope that you know you have a friend who is praying for you, prays you’ll be inspired to live for Jesus, wants the best for you and really is glad you’ve come by.  God bless you, and thanks for reading.

 

 

What you’ve been through…

Browsing through a bunch of papers and stuff… a slip of paper… the quote:

“It is in the quiet crucible of your personal private sufferings that your noblest dreams are born and Gods greatest gifts are given in compensation for what you’ve been through.
–Wintley Phipps

The paper is yellowed, the ink is smudged.  I mull the quote over in my mind – having done so many times before, I reflect on what it’s meant to me – what it means to me today.  I know it’d be real easy to just think on the first part… the crucible part — the suffering part.  Then it’s easy to move on to the dreams part and camp there for a while and consider what dreams have come from times in the crucible — the times of suffering.  But my eyes leap to gifts.  God’s greatest gifts.  I can’t even carry — can’t even recount — all the gifts the Lord has given.   You might not think this just looking at my life…  you may see the high points, low points, the scattered tragedies of misunderstandings, losses, failings, joys and sorrows, blessings and wasted days.  You may see all that and more… God sees a girl He’s redeemed.

I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t see many things as gifts from God if I hadn’t been through the valleys I’ve been through.   And I surely didn’t walk through them alone – I may not have seen this at the time, but I surely see now… looking back, God’s been with me through them all.  ‘Seems He’s sometimes been with me in the front.  Other times He’s been with me from behind.  Sometimes my footsteps have left no imprint in the valley — those are the times He carried me through — and the print of the valley is on my heart.  Still other times I see now that it was His hand firmly around mine that guided me through the dark.

I don’t see these valleys from mountaintops, not really — though the many mountaintops have been great blessings and cherished gifts.  I actually see the valleys better when I’m in them.  Recently, walking through a valley, I had the keenest sense of awareness that I’d passed this way before.  A few times, actually.  And I had the strangest yet most familiar feeling of security… the valley imprinted on my heart.  And then I knew for sure… ahhhh, yes,  Jesus has been this way — He followed me here… He watched over me here… He guided me here… He covered me here… and He carried me out.

I don’t know what you’re doing today – I don’t know what you’re going through — but I do know this: whatever it is, wherever you are: Jesus is near.  You may not even know Him as Saviour and Friend, but He truly is near.   Even if you’re in the darkest valley of despair – His hand is not shortened that it cannot reach you. Nothing you’re facing, nothing you’re going through, nothing that’s concerning you is a surprise to Him. Nothing escapes His merciful gaze.  Do you know that?  Do you know that in Him you *will* — you surely will — find all you need?

I’m praying for you right now.  Turn around.  Look… call on Him.   If you, in faith, call on Him, He will — He surely will — answer you.  Repent…  turn your eyes upon Jesus; give Him your life.   The Bible says: “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.” — Romans 10.9    And you can rest in His Truth:  “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  — 1John 1.9

He will live in your heart… whatever you’ve been through.  He tell you that you’re clean and forgiven.  His love for you will say: welcome home.

 

Springtime came…

I smile as I look back and recall a blog entry I wrote on the 22nd of March called Springtime… seasons. At the end of that post I wrote:  “… And I can truly say that God has had the sweetest surprises in store for me following some of the seemingly most barren seasons.  Praise the Lord.  He only does all things well.  May I never take this for granted.”

Additionally, in that post I included the lyrics of a song Spring Time’s Comin’ that’s surely become even more meaningful to me since that post was written — because just two weeks later I opened the door to receive a package someone had sent to us.  I could not have known on that day that the Lord, indeed, had a marvelous surprise right around the corner.

Remember the lyrics to that Spring time song?  “…Right before your eyes, God has the sweetest surprise, all the new things He has planned to colour your world… Spring time’s comin’.”

As I looked at that package, I wondered what could this be?!? I even called my husband to tell him a package had come – mostly bcz he is the one who receives packages more often than anyone else here in our home.  I thought it surely must be a business related package.  But, oddly, it was sent by UPS from UPS.  Strange.  And so, the phone tucked between my ear and shoulder, I opened the box… dug through the zillions of packing chips to find another box.  Open it, open it, he exclaimed!   And as I opened the box I saw a letter… three pages… and I began to read… Wes, still listening…

Again, remember the lyrics to that Spring time song?  “…Right before your eyes, God has the sweetest surprise, all the new things He has planned to colour your world… Spring time’s comin’.” Well, right before my eyes God did have the sweetest surprise… After reading the first page, I turned to the second…. what?!?!? Itinerary?!?! *Our* names?!?!  What?!?!  Then, a book: Hawai’i!?!?!  What!?!?!  Then turning to the third page… what!?!?!  We’re staying here…?!?!?  Omygoodness, this must be a joke… how can this be?!?!  Who could have done this wonderful thing?!?!?! How can this be?!?!?

“…Right before your eyes, God has the sweetest surprise, all the new things He has planned to colour your world… Spring time’s comin’.”

Now that dream — that wonderful dream — is part of the beautiful collage of memories we have.  And it is, undoubtedly, one of the more beautiful memories of our whole life – truly being the best and longest time we’ve ever spent alone together.  It was a dream – but better – a dream come true.

Later we would have confirmation that all that was contained in the package was indeed true and was for real.  Emails from Aloha For Reals gave more confirmation (and more questions… more what in the world?!?!?  more how can this be!?!?!).  It was then that  we began to dream… and that’s when I wrote that post A new start and an old dream.

Weary of the winter,  grieved over disappointments and misunderstandings, lost in wonder how to put life in proper perspective and move on from trials and failings… Springtime came and with it the hope of a brighter tomorrow.

As I wrote, while we were in Hawai’i, we asked the Lord many times: why are we here?  why have You so blessed us in this incredibly lavish way?  Well, initially, we saw the great blessing of just being there – the beauty, the brightness, the warmth, the aloha!, the joy of being alone and in love, the peace and quiet, the rest…  but then I began to see God’s great message written everywhere we went: God is not without witness!  God preserves a witness – He preserves a hope and a future.  Beautiful, fragrant flowers growing in tens of thousands of acres of lava fields gave witness to this great and precious truth: God is not without witness anywhere!  And… thus: in my life, springtime came.  I’ll share tomorrow some more things the Lord showed me there and when we returned home.  More significant to me, with each passing day, is the fact that God was demonstrating all winter long, all through the early Springtime, He did have a marvelous plan for us… and it wasn’t  just that wonderful trip – it was that, and more.

More of that song again:

It’s been a long hard winter, Spring’s long overdue…
Icy wind, cruel and bitter has chilled hope out of you,
you want to look ahead, but your heart’s so full of dread,
you can’t see the subtle changes in the air…
Spring time’s coming…

On the heels of a Winter wind, balmy breezes
will blow across your garden again,
the seeds of hope you’ve planted,
are alive beneath the snow, the blooms are yet to show…
this season will end.

Spring time’s coming, after the winter wind.

I know it’s hard to imagine that Spring’s on the way…
With the trees brown and barren and the skies so gray —

Right before your eyes God has the sweetest surprise
All the new things He’s prepared to colour your world…
Spring time’s coming.

As long as heaven and earth remain
God promises the seasons will change
Spring time’s coming.