More Slices of Life – The Welcome Home

The Race Before Us

Longing to run, but afraid to fail, that’s the story of my life. I’ve let this blog sit idle for so many months, it’s hard to imagine that for years I regularly wrote blog entries. But I love to write. I write nearly every day—just not here. Mu husband’s asked me to write… just write. Every day, just write. In this step of faith season, I was reading in the Word the other day… I read Hebrews 12.1, which says, “Wherefore, seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is before us.”

I considered that we’re all compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses… who are they? They’re family, friends, pastors, teachers, creators of music, hymns, spiritual songs, writers, speakers, so many sources… so many witnesses! And then, there are weights — trials, or sins, or regrets, or failings, or shame, or limitations, or whatever: weights—weights that so easily beset us, weights that trip us or prevent us from running the race that is set before us. Later, in this same chapter, I received further encouragement to run the race that’s set before me. And I thought on some of the many, many truths I know.

God’s created us for His good pleasure; He’s also created us to good works. We read in Ephesians 2.10, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.” So, once again, I’m inspired to press on.

Hebrews 12.11-13 goes on to say, “Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; and make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.”
Now, I’m no “name it and claim it” girl, but I trust God’s Word and I believe that He seeks for me —for us— to be healed in such a manner that we will trust Him for the race that is set before us.

All my doubts and failures, all my fears and anxieties that prevent me from stepping out in faith, God wants to heal and forgive. In putting a foot in front of the other to walk by faith and not by sight, to take another step of faith after each previous step… God seeks to encourage. Hope for the next step, God wants to give. God’s ordained that I should walk in faith. And all the good works that’s He’s planned for me? I should walk in them. I pray you see this with me for yourself. That we will run the race…

The good works? I must walk in them. I must run in them. They’re what He’s created me to do. They’re what He’s created you to do.

Run the race. Let’s run the race!

The Gathering

The gathering happened and afterward I returned home again to my warm, comfortable, familiar, safe haven. Now, nearly two weeks later, I look back with heartfelt gratefulness. It was such a stretch for me, but I’m so glad I met the people I did and am thankful for the messages that were shared.

Over the years I’ve headed women’s ministries, Bible studies, retreats, and other church events. So I totally get the gatherings deal and the sincerest efforts to create a space where women will gather, feel the love, be ministered to, and not feel like they’re on the outside. I know the planning that goes into making each woman feel as though the evening was planned specially for her. I’ve worked at fine tuning programs to include levity, food, chocolate, and messages that touch the heart, to stir responses and affirmations of faith, joy and hope.

That gathering had those elements—by design or incidentally. It was beautiful, warm and welcoming—and the food was delicious. I now recognize that I’ve longed for such a gathering—to feel the familiar and to receive much needed encouragement.

I’ve reflected on the blessings of the warm conversations and the messages of each of the speakers and much inspiration has come from the things they shared. And since I began writing this entry it’s occurred to me that I’m so not alone in longing for fellowship such as was visibly demonstrated in the elements of that gathering.

And upon further reflection, I’m sure there’re older moms just like me—moms who find themselves journeying along in the midst of moms who aren’t in this next season yet—this season of moms who’ve raised families, who are dealing with adult children, grandchildren, aging parents, aging issues themselves, regrets, desire to still be useful and on and on.

Maybe, like me, you attend a church where younger moms fill the positions of leadership and are beyond busy with activities and programs for women and all the children—you know, doing all the stuff we used to do. And now, we are the older women we used to tell to ‘rest and enjoy, we’ve got it handled, thank you.’ And the older women faded into the margins. And eventually died… along with their stories.

I so don’t want that to be me and I don’t want that to be you.

So, hopefully this blog might minister to older moms-of-many in need of the same encouragement I’ve been desiring. I’ll keep using this platform and the ACH site I’ve had for over 20 years… I’ll endeavour to write more regularly and hopefully minister to those longings… and encourage us both to stay in the game! It’s taken me ten years of climbing out of regret to resolutely determine to not be super-glued to failures and disappointments. They’ve been emotionally paralyzing me from being able to confidently move ahead. And to dare to go to a gathering of “strangers!” I’m so glad I jumped off that highdive!

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect,
but I press on to make it my own,
because Christ Jesus has made me His own.
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own.
But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind
and straining forward to what lies ahead,
I press on toward the goal for the prize
of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Let those of us who are mature think this way,
and if in anything you think otherwise,
God will reveal that also to you.
Only let us hold true to what we have attained.”
philippians 3.12-16 esv

Your Sphere of Influence

Your sphere of influence is broader than your sphere of acquaintance… have you ever stopped to think about that?

Maybe you have never given much personal thought to the influence of your own life; maybe you think your mundane life, your seemingly menial work, doesn’t have much impact around you. But your daily walk, the investments you make in your home, family, prayer, work, church, etc., etc., are likely having a much greater impact than you can possibly imagine.

We never know who is watching us—who will be affected by our actions—who will be influenced by our decisions, our faith, our experiences. You may think your life is insignificant by comparison to the lives and lifestyles of others you know. But, God. But God who is rich in mercy toward us sees a different view, for you do not know the depth of the impact you are making on those in your sphere of influence—for it is broader than your sphere of acquaintance.

Do you think King David realized at the time his sphere of influence when he made the decisions he did? I really don’t think he did… but what did he realize? He realized that his times were in the Hand of the LORD—he walked with God and his heart was for God. Did his actions always appear to be so? By no means… in fact, many times, his actions appeared to be completely contrary to the will and ways of God—yet The Word says in Hebrews 13 that he was a man after God’s own heart and yet, it is unlikely that some of his acquaintances would have thought so! But through his life, we see his sphere of influence was beyond remarkable!

Hebrews 13.21-23 “And afterward they [Children of Israel] desired a king: and God gave unto them Saul the son of Cis, a man of the tribe of Benjamin, by the space of forty years. And when he had removed him, he raised up unto them David to be their king; to whom also he gave testimony, and said, I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after mine own heart, which shall fulfill all my will. Of this man’s seed hath God according to his promise raised unto Israel a Saviour, Jesus:”

King David’s life and his writings influence us even to this day: he was used of God to demonstrate His mercy, His forgiveness, His love. It is because of David’s failings and shortcomings and the resulting faith that many of us are encouraged to press on, to climb the heights and to seek the Face of our LORD. O, how great is his influence! His acquaintances saw a shepherd boy and God saw a King whose sphere of influence was broader than his sphere of acquaintance.

What of your life? Do you see? Do you realize young wife, that your influence over the condition and direction of your home is great? And mother of young children, your influence over the course and behavior of those children is tremendous? And mother of teenagers, whether it appears like it or not, your influence is deeply affecting the decisions they will make through the course of their lives? And grandmother of little ones… your influence is keenly felt by your children and grandchildren? You see, it really doesn’t matter who you are or where you are, your sphere of influence is broader than your sphere of acquaintance… and it is in both cases, much more intense and far reaching than you may realize.

Last night I was talking with some old friends I hadn’t spent time with in years. It was incredible, though, the passage of time had little effect on the conversation nor the familiarity we all felt. It was as if the passage of time hadn’t existed and we talked as though we had talked every day. Neither of us realized that we had made such a tremendous impact on one another’s lives, but it was evident by conversation that we really had. And now, we sat sharing stories that were at once familiar and yet much time had passed since our last visit. During our conversation, things were mentioned about our oldest children and how much influence she had had on them as youngsters and how some of the things they do today in their own home are things they learned many years ago from this friend… little did she know that her influence would carry this far and still be in motion today.

I was visiting another friend last year and she shared that fifteen years previous to that time, her sister had talked about fearing having children and shared that I had answered her that God would take care of them, that He would guide and direct… and other things that I don’t recall… but you know, apparently, even now she tells of the influence of those conversations… conversations I really took very lightly–conversations that come so easily to me. O, our sphere of influence is broader than our sphere of acquaintance.

Some of my favourite reading comes from works that are hundreds of years old… you see? The sphere of influence is broader than the sphere of acquaintance. God used these men to write His truths and to testify of His marvelous greatness which are still being read and applied and blessed even hundreds of years since they were written and the authors went on to their reward. They likely never knew the tremendous impact they would have even yet today. Yet, in obedience to the call on their lives, they wrote of timeless truths and enduring love. Their focus was on the eternal, not the temporal and the far reaching effects still touch lives today— their sphere of influence was far broader than their sphere of acquaintance.

The lonely, lost world is looking for answers to the dilemmas of the day, to the emptiness of routines, and to the dryness of daily living. Jesus is that Well of Living Water for which they are thirsting. You have a cup in your hand… will you ask the LORD to fill it and will you offer it today? I pray you will… for your sphere of influence is broader than your sphere of acquaintance.

Jumping Off The High Dive

Now, many decades ago, I climbed the steep steps up to the high dive at our local community pool in Southern California where I was raised. I’d been swimming most all my life (it was a given that most all the homes had a swimming pool) and from a young age I was able to dive and do back flips, etc., off the diving board. I wasn’t afraid of the water or the depth of pools. But the high dive was daunting. So high. I don’t recall how long it took me to muster the courage to mount those steps or to walk to the end of the board. I know it was not brief. But I did it… I walked to the end of the board and jumped. As I recall, the water initially felt like hitting a hard surface and then, suddenly, I was down and swimming up to the pool ledge. And, climbing out, I jumped again.

I thought of this recently when I decided to look into attending a local gathering. I saw the opportunity and instantly wanted to go. I mean, really wanted to go. And, I had (have) no idea exactly why! I read the information, and as I read, those old steps began to look daunting and the whole thing too big, too high. Too high for me. I closed my computer and determined not to think of the matter any longer. A few days passed and I was drawn to consider the event again. What was drawing me to this event? I don’t honestly know — but I know this, if I don’t jump in somewhere, sometime, I’m kinda worried I’ll never “swim” again. My consideration led me to write to one of my daughters… and in so doing I threw out the idea that I’d like to go to this gathering — and described it to her. I was shocked {but not at all surprised} that she wrote back with a, heck yes, I’ll go with you… I’ll pick you up!

Had I been told, ten years ago exactly, that this would be happening as it is, I’d never have believed it. Sincerely, not in a million years.

So now I’m standing at the top of the steps, but not to the end of the board. It’s high and the stretch to the end of the board is long, and in a day I’ll walk to the end of the board and jump into our daughter’s car and go to the gathering.

I’d like to tell you about it all… and I will.

Drawing a blank

I used to think that drawing a blank (in writing, conversation, blogging) was the result of having nothing to say, or not being able to gather one’s thoughts or whatever. I now think that while there may be times of writer’s block, it’s usually something else that’s preventing someone from moving on in writing. I think, for me, it’s being shot in the foot, or ideas being shot down, or being mentally shot in the head — ideas gone, drawing a blank.

And, it occurred to me the other day that the devil’s generally in the details here–doing the shooting when an idea or writing plan comes about but isn’t acted upon. He’s in the details shooting things up. But here’s the thing I’ve decided to acknowledge: he shoots blanks. He’s ever lurking about in the shadows. In 1Peter 5 (after we’re told, humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time: casting all your care upon Him for He careth for you) the Word says: Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary, the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. (1 P 5.6-8)

I’ve taught on this section from time to time — highlighting the fact that the devil is always roaring about seeking to destroy whatever God’s doing, whatever a follower of Jesus is doing, doing whatever he can to destroy it. But he’s a roar, a lion with no teeth. Scary, yes. But shooting blanks.

You get what I mean? Blanks. We’re often held back by the roar of those blanks. The roar of the shot that says we’ve failed too often. The roar of the shot that recounts all those failures and superglue’s us to them. The roar of the shot that says our best days are behind us and there’s no use trying to gain ground now. The roar of the shot that says we’ll never be ___________ or whatever enough. The roar of the shot that says we have no credibility or will just likely fail again so why try.

Those shots are blanks. They roar at us or past us, but they’re blanks. God’s mercies are new every morning and His faithfulness is above the heavens. I may feel wounded by the shots of those blanks, but I mustn’t think they’ll destroy me — I must take those thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. I do this bcz of His faith — my faith in Him is His faith. The Word says that when we’re in Christ Jesus, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us. (romans 8.37)

I’ve decided to keep writing and when I draw a blank or am shot with one, I know I can go to the well. Drinking at the well of God’s Word fills in the blanks, mends the wounds of the shots of blanks, gives me strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.

God bless your day & your home. ♥ –ps

the suicide option

Through our lives we have experiences that are etched on our hearts and minds — experiences that shape our thinking, shape our reactions, shape our responses, shape our decisions — maybe even shape our initial theology or lack thereof. If these etchings were recorded on 3×5 cards, in time we’d have quite a card file full, wouldn’t we? Events and experiences, lessons and influences all recorded on cards make up our individual card catalogs. It’s interesting to me, every now and then, to come across a card I realize has had a profound impact on my life and thinking. One of the greatest regrets I have from a young age is collecting a couple of influence cards I wish I’d never acquired. On the cards are written: the suicide option. I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently… deaths of friends and loved ones, news headlines trigger memories… the file drawer opens… the influence cards tumble out.

I was a second grader when my mother got the call that her father had died. A strange disconnect defines that event. On the one hand, I heard that he never looked better and on the other hand, I saw my grandmother weeping over her loss. So young I was, so innocent regarding the trials and tragedies that befall people in life — at that point, unaware of what would later be the personal impact of my granddaddy’s death. When my mother returned from Texas after his funeral, she gave me one of the few things she brought from his home — a little tin box decorated with flowers containing my granddaddy’s sewing kit and also a package of “moth balls” — not chemical mothballs used in storage containers, but candy… small balls of sweet, nutty deliciousness.

Through the years stories pieced together framed the mental picture of what really happened with my grandfather; he was an alcoholic who’d come to the end of his options and resources and succumbed to the enticing lie that death was the only way out. On one of the cards in my mental card file is recorded that in a closed garage, carbon monoxide from a car’s exhaust system is a suicide method. Little more than three years later my mother’s brother would add another suicide option card to my card file. It was August… I was eleven when that card was added.

I’m amazed, through the years, how many times those cards have made their way into my hands… how many times I’ve turned them over in my hands, carried them around, and for a time mulled them over. Stunned from time to time that I could possibly take those cards out and look at them as options and ever for a moment consider listening to the lies of the devil that my life’s a waste or that everyone would be better off without me or whatever the devil’s lie du jour is. By the grace of God that’s all… but by the grace of God… I am carried through that darkness.

Throughout time, the devil has been capitalizing on twisting variations of the same lie. The lie always includes a form of death… death of self, death of relationships, death of purity or innocence, death of faith, etc. In the beginning, in subtlety and condescension, taking advantage of her innocent reasoning, satan challenged God and enticed Eve, saying: …you shall not surely die. And throughout history he’s played with the emotions of despairing and desperate individuals to persuade them one way or another, but the end is the same: death. From the beginning, the devil’s been twisting the truth on death.

Like his father before him, I’m sure my uncle felt much the same desperation that hot August day. He’d run out of options and resources and probably reasoned there’d never be an end to his financial losses and never a solution to his mounting obligations. No amount of reasoning could restore confidences that the financial gains and successes he’d previously enjoyed in life could possibly be rebuilt or that the losses could be overcome. Another method was recorded that day — if his life was a mess, his death was more so. I feel sick every time I hear that song’s refrain: he put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger. I hate that song. It’s no lullaby.

The devil’s a master of all or nothing — that whatever’s happening today will be happening forever — the all or nothing that things will always be this way, nothing’s ever going to be any different or any better than it is today — thus, there’s just one solution: death. Problem is, the devil never gives any warnings about what else really happens when he tempts (or succeeds) with that suicide option. It’s not a solution—it’s an amplified problem but the despairing one is gone and never sees the enormous ripple of the suicide rock hitting the pond. Is it desperation that fuels depression or is it depression that fuels desperation? Eternity will sort this out; whatever the case, both block out reason — both are blinding. Both fall into the abyss of great darkness. And the devil loves darkness — and loves to shroud us in darkness at every turn because his deeds are only evil continually.

His playbook is thin — satan doesn’t need many tricks. The same traps and tricks have been working for him since he first beguiled Eve and all the others since… the lies he tells you and me… the lies he’s perpetuated from that day to this come from his little playbook. Hath God said?

You’ll be better off. It’s your life. You’re not hurting anyone. They’ll be better off without you. This is the only way. You always do this. You’ll never change. Life is only misery, you’ll be in a better place and on and on. His methods have not changed — his motive has not changed — he hates God and God’s glorious creation and will stop at nothing in his pursuit to steal, kill and destroy life, faith and hope in God — ultimately to persuade individuals to take their eyes off God. But remember this: he’s a defeated foe — a lion with no teeth, a roar with no power. In the end, his challenge is not with you — you’re just a pawn to him. His challenge is with God. Remember that: he hates God and doesn’t care a thing about you.

…He [the devil] was a murderer from the beginning,
and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie,
he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.”
john 8.44

If life’s dealt you a suicide option card… remember that it was an option someone else took. It doesn’t mean it is your option. You ought to talk it over and get your mind set on Truth. Guard your mind, guard your idle thoughts. Remember, your adversary, the devil, is a thief. Get acquainted with, and very familiar with, the Truth. Know the Truth that the Truth will set you free. Remember that Jesus said, “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” In Jesus is life. Abundant life. He also said, “These things I have spoken unto you, that in Me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” (John 10.10 / 16.33)

May the Lord be your peace and comfort if you’re hurting over losses today. May the Lord be your strength and salvation and source of joy.

[I originally wrote and published this article 8.12.2014]

Seasons End In Various Stages Of Bloom

I’ve been mulling over the thought of seasons ending in various stages of bloom. It was below freezing through the night and this morning and as I look out the windows of my warm home, I see all around, summer is falling to the ground. The trees are losing their leaves, many fewer on the trees today than yesterday… more all over the lawn and field. The roses, hydrangeas and other flowering plants are losing their beauty, ending in various stages of bloom.

The wood burns hot in my woodstove… wood cut from huge trees that still had more life in them, but instead of standing to provide shade, they were cut down to provide heat. The seasons of those trees came to an end.

The beautiful rosebuds on sturdy bushes remind me there’s still more life in those canes. The tender new hydrangea mopheads amidst hundreds of large, dry flowers affirm life in the woody canes. In a matter days, these freezing nights will signal an end to this season of blooms and left behind will be brown, dry flowers and leaves on the ground.

A few days ago, our daughter and grandbaby moved to their own home. Another season ended. At the end of that day, Proverbs 14.4 came to mind: “Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean…” That night, as I stood in the empty room, I surveyed the white walls, white curtains, and the bed with no linens, I marveled at the starkness of a season that had come to an end. It was good for me to see it. This is not meant to be a maudlin commentary, but to just reflect that the busyness of the care and feeding and dressing of babies, the cooing, oohing and aahing, the furniture, the fixtures, toys, the crawling and climbing, the laundry and blankets are the things of a particular season.

I’d never, ever have imagined the season that just passed — that we’d have a granddaughter growing up in our home (albeit, yes, 9 months is a very short while). The Lord was sure sweet to give us the 9 months on either side of her birth. I can say that with sincerity and gratitude now. I’m keenly aware that I had no grasp of what that season of bloom would be like or how it would feel.

Reflecting on seasons that have passed, some in bloom, some far spent, I’m reminded how brief each season actually was. Hard? Yes. Arduous? Yes. Thrilling and new? Yes. Tiring, yet rewarding? Yes. Tender and sweet? Yes. Cold and dreary? Yes. Sunny and breezy? Yes. But the interesting thing common to all the seasons that’ve passed? They’ve all passed in what felt like the midst of them. By this, I mean, seasons have ended before we thought they would’ve (or should’ve). I’ll bet it’s been the same for you, hasn’t it?

Today, the cold breeze signals change, a season ending in bloom in the midst of the next one in bud.
I stand in the midst of melancholy memories and happy plans for days ahead: anniversaries, weddings, birthdays and family gatherings intermingled with a whole bunch of dailies.

Seasons end in various stages of bloom.
Seasons overlapping seasons.
Some still in bloom.
Some will seem to be arduously endless
and some will seem to end too soon.
But each will have served its purpose.

To every thing there is a season
and a time to every purpose under heaven…
He hath made everything beautiful in His time…
Ecclesiastes 3.1, 11

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Thousands of Pictures to Sort

I’m in the midst of an overwhelming project: I have thousands of pictures to sort. Earlier today I was standing next to a table lined with boxes into which I’m distributing the thousands of pictures. It never seemed like we took a lot of pictures. At the time.

What I remember of the early days was buying film and flash bulbs, taking pictures during special events and occasional pictures of our children’s milestones or accomplishments. And those quick get the camera adorable poses. We’d get to the end of a roll of film and put the roll (along with the other rolls) in a drawer to be developed when we had enough money to do so — which would be days, weeks or years later! Sometimes stores (Bartells in Seattle ~smile~) would have film developing specials and we’d sure take advantage of them – sometimes having ten or more rolls to develop! We’d take the film in, fill out an envelope for each roll, place the roll in the envelope, seal it and drop it in the bin to be developed. We’d wait a couple of weeks and finally get the phone call (on the kitchen-wall rotary phone with the mile-long coiled-cord) that our pictures were ready! We’d go, pay for them, and hastily open them up right there! to see the beautiful pictures and the not-so-beautiful blurry ones and black nothing shots. No previewing, no editing, no instant delete in those days. It’s hard to believe, now in retrospect, that the whole process was so involved, so time consuming and seemed to be so expensive. But that’s how things went back then. Incidentally, you wouldn’t know it was like that by the sheer number of photos nearly filling three under-bed boxes.

Those were the days before digital images we now take by the hundreds without a single thought of expen$e (unless we factor in the co$t of our phone$ and/or camera$!). Ironically, considering how many developed photographs as we have, it’s interesting to see some very distinct, unique differences between the photos of yesteryear and today. As I took stacks of photos in hand to deal them out into the 25 different boxes labeled by year, I smiled as I began to consciously see the obvious then and now differences. There were no “selfies” or random prolific “photoshoots” of everyday life, voluminous numbers of photos of significant and not-so-significant events, week-by-week pregnancy shots, day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month baby photos, etc., etc.

This digital generation (and offspring) is surely the most documented, photographed, recorded — in the history of the world. (I just became my grandmother!)

This current little 😉 project is precipitated by the purchase of a photo scanner. We knew it would take f.o.r.e.v.e.r. to get to scanning each photo individually. So, Wes shopped around for a digital scanner that would do stacks at a time – and we figured that, presorted, they’d be easy to file just as we’ve filed our digital images for the last 16 or 17 years. Theoretically, this was to be a simple project — had the photos had dates written on the back, it might’ve been. My bad.

Big takeaways from this project so far? There was sure a lot of living. A lot of children. A whole lot of time’s gone by. I sure wish I’d written dates. on. the. back. of. each. photo. So many things I wish I’d done. I know I thought I’d never forget. :-/

You know what’s funny? It’s like there are no parents most of the time. Just kids. Kids at events; at home; on swings; at parties; in plays. Kids sitting in a row.

Today’s melancholy tears remind me: the parents were there.

Daily Devotionals

Daily Devotionals: potentially instructive, potentially destructive.

Isn’t it interesting what the Lord uses in our lives to speak to us? He speaks through His Word, He ministers to us through teaching, poetry, testimonies, music, His creation; He works in us through joys and sorrows, hardships, grief, loss, trials, and countless other ways. He blesses us with all of these things — though we often miss seeing His signature it at the time. He blesses us with all these things — if we’ll receive them with that recognition.

Do you have or read a daily devotional? I’ve had mixed opinions about devotionals through the years — generally bcz I read them for a few days and then encounter an entry that’s ‘off’ or is doctrinally unsound. Sometimes I keep reading to see if it was just me misinterpreting the text that particular day — but, more often than not, with more recently published devotional books, I’ve seen error. I then resort to my default: Just read the Word. Stay in the Word. And then another devotional will come along – another book will come to me highly recommended and I go through the same exercise of starting the process and ending it at some questionable entry. It usually doesn’t take long to pick out the error.

The hard part is, sometimes, that respected friends suggest something that’s been especially meaningful, instructive, or inspirational to them. When I decide not to continue with a book, in that case, I often feel like I’m disparaging their thoughtful recommendation. That’s actually not the case at all, but feelings — you know, feelings lead us down slippery slopes, foolish reasoning, or a myriad of other paths, but not the right path. Not the path the Lord calls us to walk.

Well, late last year I picked up a daily devotional that I determined I’d begin the year and read each morning and evening for this year. It was recommended to me about 20 years ago — I never stayed with it consecutively day after day. But, due to some circumstances that have become blessings to me, coupled with circumstances that have not —yet-– seemed so, I decided to commit to reading through this compendium of Streams in the Desert and Springs in the Valley by Mrs. Charles E.Cowman morning and evening readings. It’s filled with scripture, short stories, poems, “sermonettes,” and encouraging words.

So… what have I discovered in reading through Streams (each morning) and Springs (each evening)? In so many ways, on so many levels, God is at work in and through us all. I knew this. He uses so many things to speak to our hearts. I know this. And when I read a Spurgeon entry, for example, I am reminded of sermons I’ve read or heard in other places or at other times in my life and I’m reminded how God ministered then, how He’s ministering where I am now — I see more clearly what God is or has been doing, teaching, or leading me to do. I’m so inspired to press on when I read of others (in very difficult circumstances) victoriously pressing on. Does a daily devotional take the place of the Bible? No, by no means. It’s just been an added benefit during this season for me. A caveat, be very careful when you choose a devotional (or teacher, author, etc., etc.) to read. Doctrine matters.

Regarding devotionals, I’m seeing that when we’re grounded in the Word, and we read of His work in (by) various people, circumstances, or times in history, we can see God’s providential care, His wisdom, His provision. We’ll more readily spot error, too. Additionally, we’ll be more apt to discern the sound (or not sound) doctrine of whatever else we’re reading.

A daily devotional and/or daily devotions… In the end, the Word of God is what I’m sure of.

—more soon.

…feelings in the spin cycle

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Do you ever feel like your feelings or your emotions are in a spin cycle — as if life’s experiences or circumstances are spinning out all your feelings or emotions? Sometimes my washer spins so long I wonder how in the world there’s any moisture at all left in the clothing or the towels or whatever. That’s how some days feel to me emotionally. Sometimes. Emotions completely spun out.

I remember feeling like that when I had babies and children to care for each day — only it wasn’t emotions, necessarily, it was energy — that, or collapsing into bed feeling incapable of doing or hearing or saying one more thing.

What got me thinking this this afternoon is that I’ve been reviewing the experiences (and feelings) of the last couple of days. No, nothing happened particularly — there’s no big story or anything here. It’s just a combination of things and I writing this in hopes that if one other person is helped — if one other mother is encouraged — the thoughts and emotions of this day will have been worth it.

As I was reading my Bible this morning, I was struck by the grace of God in Jesus to be so patient with the throngs of people who were following Him, the Disciples who clamoured for His attention and parable’s explanations and meanings. Too often lately I feel like the Disciples who (just after the feeding of the four thousand – Luke) climbed in the boat and had brought no provisions for the journey. The compassionate Lord Jesus reminded them what had just transpired… I’m like them, too, sometimes… seeming to not understand I’m His–I’m in His hands.

I’ve been reliving mental images, conversations and family photos shared while my cousin and his family visited this past weekend. Family, as with old friends, have history that bonds the relationship and continually adds to and stirs up history and emotion. My uncle — my cousin’s father — committed suicide forty-five years ago. We don’t talk much about it but we never get away from it either. Co-Incidentally, last night I received a message by John Piper and listened to it… sweet of the Lord and His timing. More feelings… emotions…

This morning, my friend came and shared a concern she was having about the effects of suicide in a family… I was immediately empathetic to her impassioned plea for prayer and strength for the day. I shared my compassion for her plight.
My husband reminded me of a Billy Graham film clip — I watched it… and I marveled that I had just last night affirmed with a promise that I will not go there — I will not play that card — the suicide card. It’s a card I’ve kept in my deck all these years — actually a little longer than the forty-five years, for my grandfather had committed suicide just three and a half years prior to that. It’s been a ‘go-to’ thought when my emotions are spinning out… it’s a ‘go-to’ thought when I rehearse my failures in life… it’s a ‘go-to’ thought when I know I’ve let someone down or when I’ve caused a problem in life… it’s a ‘go to’ thought when I feel inadequate or attacked.

But God.
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” –Romans 5.8

The Truth shall make you free. Truly, the Truth shall make you free.

“Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” –Romans 5.1-5

So when I was shopping and noticed an old friend in the store, I felt a sudden wave of some unfounded inadequacy washed over me, I immediately rehearsed my failures in that relationship — but had to just as quickly remember that they were dealt with and I determined to “be of one mind and so far as it depended on me to live at peace…” (my paraphrase of verses in Romans 12). It was a sweet, brief meeting. I’m glad to have been there.

Maybe you have been dealing with a bunch of emotions, feelings, inadequacies, regrets or plaguing responses to life’s circumstances… I just want to encourage you to rest, to refresh your mind with the Truths of God’s Word and rejoice in His finished work on your behalf. If your feelings are in the spin cycle, Remember what He’s done for you…

“Having eyes, see ye not? and having ears, hear ye not? and do ye not remember? When I brake the five loaves among five thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up? They say unto Him, Twelve. And when the seven among four thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up? And they said, Seven. And He said unto them, How is it that ye do not understand?” –Mark 8.18-21

I pray the Lord will bless you with His great grace for this day…