August 2007 – The Welcome Home

A life profound

True story.

I was shopping today at the restaurant supply store. A checker (who is older than me, by the way) I’ve seen many times over the years asked me if I always wear my hair this way.

(you know… undyed, twisted up in a bun)

I smiled and said, “Yes, I do.”
He said, “It looks so nice. You remind me of my grandmother.”
I smiled. I think I looked down. (wincing and smiling)
He said, “No, no, no. That’s the highest compliment I could give you. Really.”
I tucked my debit card into my wallet… picked up my keys and cellphone.
I thanked him…

Still smiling as I pulled the flatbed cart to the door, then waved and said good bye.

Hmmmmm. A life profound.

A few decades

More or less. That’s what we have on this earth: a few decades, more or less.

And I’m beginning to see that the more or less depends not so much on length of time or number of decades as the use of the days and time in each decade. My friend sent me a song… “A Life Profound” by Mica Lee Williams. I listened. I listened again. Because we’re not really familiar with her music, I’m not sure I, or my friend, would likely recommend all of her music or style or spiritual position… I just don’t know. But there’s something about the song… And I decided to listen to it/read it in light of the LORD – in light of Scripture.

A Life Profound

There is a reason for believing in the seasons
To know that spring will always come around
It’s to begin again though there seems no means to this end
Before one lays a body down
But things that die and wither soon will find new roots and tether
To gather strength beneath the ground
I think that
Far too many soon forget the sound of their own laughter
Far too quickly we move swiftly towards the ever after
But I will stake my claim and I will find the rapture
Of a life profound
I cannot manage to estimate the damage
Of holding deep regret that seeks to pull us down
I see my life as a vessel traveling swift and light
I seek my wrongs to right where I run aground
And the wind that fills these sails speaks metaphors and fairytales
That never fail to set me safely down
I think that
Far too often we forget exactly what we’re after
And far too soon we skip the book to read the final chapter
But I will savor in each moment I can capture
Of a life profound
When fortune wheels spin around it’s good to stay in the middle of it
Cuz yes luck she is a tricky one, but there is joy in the riddle of it
And all that can be lost in another way can be won
And there in lies the meaning.”

I listened again and mull over the message… ” all too soon we forget exactly what we’re after… far too soon we skip the book and read the final chapter… but I will savour in each moment I can capture… of a life profound.”

I quit listening… but the message continues to play in my head. Am I missing the here and now for what was and what I fear lies ahead? Am I skipping the now and am I forgetting what I’m to be after? Is there any deep regret that’s pulling me down? I know… lately (for for a long lately) I’ve been pretty involved with this post-childbearing season. I’ve been pretty preoccupied with the loss… the passage of time. I mean I should’ve seen all this coming… I mean, I did read Gail Sheehy’s Passages in the 70’s and I should’ve seen these seasons coming. But I didn’t. I didn’t see a lot of stuff coming. Not really.

I’ve often asked the LORD to use my life to make a difference. I don’t want to be ordinary and I don’t want to pass silently through life never making foot prints in the sand or heart prints on people’s lives. I don’t want to have had the great gift of life and then wasted it. A I surely don’t want to have wasted the greatest blessing of all: motherhood. I want to have had a life profound.

I don’t want the ‘p’ of my first name to simply be an initial that stands for my given name. No… I want it to be more than that. I want to have been patient. present. pleasant. practical. passionate. private. provocative. peaceful. prolific. poised. prompt. proved. polite. productive. plentiful. prayerful. pardoning. prudent. pondering. playful. persistent. philosophical. pure. and profound. and phunny.

But most of all… I want my life to matter to and for Jesus… for these few decades I have on this earth.

(thank you, Kelli, for the song – I do love you)

It’s interesting to be living long enough to see history

repeat itself.

I heard that sort of thing from my mother growing up. I read about history repeating itself in school, in letters and in magazines in dentist’s offices over the years. I read about it in Ecclesiastes. The more I read the more I see it. The longer I live I see it: History repeating itself.

So I was driving along and a song popped in my head and I must’ve been humming… one of the children said, O, that’s a new ____ song. I thought… no, no… that’s an old song. What? You *know* that song? Yes… it was… Harry Nillson… 1971… I was in the… …drifting off. And then it was affirmed to me once again: there is nothing new under the sun (in addition to: vanity of vanities; all is vanity) and the more things change, the more they stay the same. And children are still surprised at life that happened before they were born. Back before… wow, CD players.

I was talking with a young mom and she was lamenting the length of days and the monotony of repetition. I told her, as is my oft repeated mantra these days: this will pass and you will cry for these days. She sort of glazed over when I continued on telling her that these days will be the past all too quickly and she’ll miss them with a physical ache she cannot comprehend at this point in time – but there will come a time that she will, indeed, cry for these days. A curious blend of regret, longing, missing, hope and love. She cannot see that now. All she can see is the daily-ness of today. And that’s a problem with young mothers… motherhood is so daily. Too daily for some and they think real life is happening somewhere else (but that’s a lie). All she can see is the endless mountains of laundry, valleys of despair and dishes mounting in the sink.

I told her she would, one day, be telling another mother these same things. She will be able to tell that future mother more convincingly if she embraces these days and loves motherhood with unreserved abandon. But if she hates these days and continues rejecting God’s precious gift of motherhood… then… she won’t have much to tell that future mother and will certainly leave no joy in her children’s memories of her. History will repeat itself… the daughters will become mothers and who will encourage them? Who will cheer them on? Will they reject or embrace motherhood? Will they be sweet mothers?

I hope she will live long enough to see history. I pray it’s sweet.

So, I was mindful today as I was reading through some articles and noticing a common thread… what mothers went through yesterday, mothers face anew today— but it’s not new, not really. It’s the next chapter. It’s the same thing only different. Different bcz of history. By this I mean that what we face today we have faced already – just differently. As mothers we’ve waited and waited and waited for, say, the birth of the next baby. Then we waited and waited and waited for this or that milestone. Then we waited and waited and waited for the next and so on — History repeating itself. We watch how God worked in a particular situation and then marvel when yet another situation is miraculously covered — History repeating itself. On our behalf. We wait and wait and wait to see history. And you know… for believers what we really want to see is His – story. We all long to see His way and will played out in the lives of our children… and what a blessing it would be to see history played out in our children’s children.

For all of history is HIStory.

family reunions

I never really quite understood ‘family reunions’ and actually never really knew people had them (whatever they were) when I was growing up. I think that’s another of the many casualties of divorce. Broken families don’t have family reunions. I’m not so sure I have grasped the deep seated value of family reunions until this year. O, sure I valued getting together with the family and I’m exceedingly grateful to and for my mother-in-law’s foresight to initiate our annual family reunions — but I’m not sure I have grasped the significance or importance until now. Trouble is… family reunions are by nature one-sided. And in a family with many children, in years to come, our family will be multifaceted and likely very diverse.

So what’s the significance or what’s the great value in family reunions? Well, the significance is identification and remembrance. You gather with people you may or may not have been friends with outside of family and you share a particular history – a commonality that you don’t share with others. Now, I’ve heard it said (and have said so myself) that there’s a closeness with, say, church family that one doesn’t have with family, but there’s something with family that we only have with family. When it all comes down to the basics, it’s family that we all take responsibility for. Family reunions remind us of that. They remind us, too, of where we’ve been — the events that we’ve shared and seasons we’ve passed through (whether together or not). And if you’ve got “picture-takers” or scrapbookers in your family, you’ll have ample opportunity to see where you’ve been. You’ll have opportunity to reminisce (or cringe) over days gone by and you’ll have a thread that you can follow through the years.

Each year, my husband’s side of our family gathers (usually at the Oregon Coast) and we have a bunch of “traditional” things we do. Some traditions I think would be better served if they were left to old memories, but some really love the annual egg toss and water-balloon ~~fight~~ toss. I’m also thinking that if we’re going to get in the van and drive a long distance… I’d sure rather drive a little longer and reach the sunshine! I can have rain most any day and cloudy most every day… the Coast is beautiful… but I’m of a mind that heat would be a delightful ingredient to the beach atmosphere! Over the years our ‘responsibilities’ have ‘evolved’ as family size and abilities change. But, generally, each of the brothers or sisters families take a day for meals and family devotions/singing/activities. Because we’ve increased in number, we now rent two homes on the beach instead of one and so we go back and forth between the homes. There’s lots of visiting, laughter and picture sharing… lots of great food and lots of sandy laundry and as each family grows, more memories are made as more events are shared and recorded. There’s a downside, too, and that is that from year to year the ‘make-up’ of the group has changed… and as we think ahead, there will necessarily be more loss and sorrow. We’ve shared those griefs together and have seen the Hand of the LORD in our midst… we pour over the photos, retell the stories, weep for what was and isn’t – laugh over what was and will be. But that’s also what families do… they sorrow together and share losses — not just the additions and achievements. Sorrow is a necessary part of life… it’s a mix of joy and pain and families face all of these… they’re what make up the photo albums and strengthen the fabric of the family.

It seems that with every reunion, there’s a change… an addition, a loss, a significant milestone, and more. Each family member has welcomed the ~~outcasts~~ “outsiders” and children born into each of the sibling’s families and the family tree grows stronger and, I think, more beautiful with each addition. I think it has taken time for this to be evident, but it’s interesting how each addition rounds out the family and increases the value of each member. I hope this tradition continues long after we’re gone so that our children’s children will have something to carry on — something to build on. Pictures and their own memories will have paved the way.

just popping in to say: hey!

The Welcome Home Blog entries will resume tomorrow… vacationing is such(!) hard work! ;o)

I’ll be looking at the moon…

I have sort of thing going with my children… when they’re away, I tell them that when they go outside and see the moon… I’ll be looking at the moon and I’ll be seeing the same thing they’re seeing. There’s something strangely comforting in all that… something connecting. I guess, in a way, that if I’m able to see the moon at the same time they’re seeing it… well… then they must not be all that far away.

Now, when Kathryn was in Uganda, however, my comfort was simply in knowing that the same God who sees me, loves me, pardons me, protects and provides for me – well, He’s the same God doing all that for her. So, though I couldn’t see the moon at the same time she was seeing it… somehow I had great comfort at the reminder that she did see it… just earlier.

So, Hanny… I’ll be looking at the moon, and I’ll be seeing you.

Re-imaging God

You may be saying… wha…? I know. Incredible. I almost hesitate to write about this bcz of the blasphemous nature of the topic, but I share this, in part, to urge awareness… to urge believers to pray and to urge believers to “wake up” and see the turns of events in the world around us.

The more time goes by we’re seeing incredible leaps and departures from the Truth. As if the ‘seeker felt-needs-meet-my-wants’ trend wasn’t extreme enough, and as if the contemplative, mysticism wasn’t enough of a departure, now we have yet another perversion of Truth: the heretical, “re-imaging” of God – “the re-imaging of God by [this, from the “herchurch” website] by claiming her [sic] feminine persona in thealogy [~~sick~~ sic], liturgy, church structure, art, language, practices, leadership, and acts of justice. Challenging the church’s restricted language of the past, we pay special attention to images and metaphors that attempt to embrace divine fullness and that offer a witness of holy nurture and inclusive justice, both to the church and to the world.”

I see a bit of where the departure might have begun (well… in addition to that incident in the garden) – at least, in part, it may have begun with the stretching of the meaning of one of the names of God: El Shaddai. El Shaddai means God Almighty – God All Sufficient. Further, Shad means breastinHebrew; thus, the stretch that God is female – the sustainer, the life-giver as women are and then the broad (pun unintended) assumption that God is actually female — you may sometimes hear: mother God. Or, in a stretch Father-Mother God. The “re-imaging” of God is not new… but it is grievous nonetheless.

In the make-me-feel-good-tell-me-what-I-want-to-hear “church” today, it’s no wonder the “re-imaging” can be taking place. And it may be embraced in surprising places… for, consider that even hairy potter books (misspelling intentional) are tolerated – even lauded by *christians* around the world. Each has a place in the hall of shame. It’s a pathetic situation when “theologians” teachers – preachers – miss the dark side or the forbidden in Scripture: dabbling in occultic practices. Recommending those books is akin to recommending yoga or any other eastern meditation / spiritual formation and /or the new favourite : contemplative or contemplative spirituality.

The re-imaging of God is happening everywhere… consider that pastors are attempting to see how the church can fit into the homosexual “lifestyle.” Consider that pastors are grappling with attempting to make smooth paths for such “alternative” lifestyles. Can you, for even a moment, consider or imagine a pastor attempting to make way or provision for pedophiles or practicing thieves, murderers, liars, adulterers… on and on. See? See the shift in thinking… we’re slowly being trained, ingrained, and indoctrinated to believe the dialectic… that it’s simply a gentle lifestyle choice, not a sin – not an abomination – to ~~be homosexual~~ live a life of a sodomite. See… pedophilia grosses us out, makes us angry, boils our core. But shouldn’t other abominations? Shouldn’t we take a stand against that which stands against God’s natural plan, purpose and design? I take a stand against what violates God’s design. That’s why I say what I say and that’s why all these “lifestyles” that are contrary to God’s design are so grievous. Are the *people* themselves to be condemned? No—the people themselves need salvation (just like me) to know the LORD (as I do) and to serve Him (as I also need/desire/want to/would/should serve Him). The church… following after all the new seductive conversations, drunk on it’s own sensual revelations needs to turn to the God of the Bible, not the godS of this world — and not the godS of other “religions” and not a re-imaged god… but God – the Creator of all things, the Sustainer of all things, our Provider, our LORD and Saviour: God.

Don’t think the slide into the abyss is all that big a deal? Don’t think that all the repackaging of distorted truths is just a bunch of hype? Consider the enormity of the impact these lies are having on “the church” today. I write about this from time to time… not so much to sound an alarm but to say… the alarm is already blaring but the ‘church’ seems so mesmerized and enthralled with itself and is swaying to the beat of repetitive sensual tunes and seems deaf to the alarm and blind to the warning signs.

Curried Chicken Wraps

(courtesy of Ina Garten and The Food Network)
CURRIED CHICKEN WRAPS

3 split (1 1/2 whole) chicken breasts, bone in, skin on
Olive oil
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1 1/2 cups good mayonnaise
1/3 cup dry white wine
1/4 cup chutney (recommended: Major Gray’s)
3 tablespoons curry powder
1 cup medium-diced celery (2 large stalks)
1/4 cup chopped scallions, white and green parts (2 scallions)
1/4 cup raisins
1 cup whole roasted, salted cashews, chopped
6 tortillas

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Place the chicken breasts on a sheet pan and rub the skin with olive oil. Sprinkle liberally with salt and pepper. Roast for 35 to 40 minutes, until the chicken is just cooked. Set aside until cool enough to handle. Remove the meat from the bones, discard the skin, and shred the chicken in pieces. (Time saving tip…you can also just pick up a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store and use that instead!)

For the dressing, combine the mayonnaise, wine, chutney, curry powder, and 1 1/2 teaspoons salt in the bowl of a food processor fitted with the steel blade. Process until smooth. Combine the chicken with enough dressing to moisten well. Add the celery, scallions, and raisins, and mix well.

Refrigerate for a few hours to allow the flavors to blend. Add the cashews to the chicken. Fill the center of each tortilla with the chicken mixture. Fold the 2 sides of the tortilla over the filling so that the sides overlap. Roll the tortilla from bottom to top, and cut in half diagonally.

“…that women would adorn themselves…”

…in modest apparel.”

I’ve been mulling this over (and over) and over. This morning I was browsing Facebook then the Drudge Report and the Seattle Times. And you know… there’s a common thread (pun unintentional — but I think there’s something to it) and a common appearance. It’s not just the blurring the lines between decency and indecency or masculinity and femininity (certainly not in the SeattleTimes). But it’s more than that — I’m not sure it’s driven by culture today or culture of thirty years ago or what. I’m not even touching on the mutilation by piercings and tattoos, by the way. But there’s a blurring of God’s creation. There’s a distortion of God’s creation. A mutilation of God’s creation. I see immodesty as a bit of all three — and that’s immodesty among men as well as among women. Immodesty infers that there is nothing sacred — nothing warranting covering and nothing warranting privacy and nothing warranting reverence. O— women need to get this matter right. I don’t mean that there’s a specific clothing style or code or uniform… but there is need to women to guard their bodies — guard the treasure of their body and not flaunt it. In addition to that, there’s such a need for women to guard womanhood — girlhood — femininity! What a blessing God created us male and female — we are different one from another. What a great gift this is. Immodesty destroys purity and unisex or gender-nonspecific clothing destroys God’s distinctive design.
What that says to me, therefore, is that immodesty is carelessness or disregard of God’s design and eternal purpose. Immodesty is arrogant. Immodesty is rude… it seeks its own way, it is easily provoked, it behaves unseemly. Immodesty isn’t kind, it puffs up, it exalts self and doesn’t seek the good of others – therefore, immodesty is not charitable… or is not loving. I used those analogies bcz in the end, it’s not love for the brethren if we’re immodest as believers. If, as believers, we dress immodestly, we’re sending not only mixed signals to the brethren, but mixed signals to the watching world as well. We’re saying outward appearance doesn’t matter… God’s special design and order is not all that important and outward appearance isn’t a “spiritual” matter. But I’d say that it is… the outward is simply revealing the inward.
So what is modesty? Modesty is moderation, decency — modesty is propriety, it’s not forward or arrogant. Modesty “… is synonymous with chastity, or purity of manners. In this sense, modesty results from purity of mind, or from the fear of disgrace and ignominy fortified by education and principle. unaffected modesty is the sweetest charm of the female excellence, the richest gem in the diadem of their honour.” [this definition, in part, from Noah Webster 1828]
Do we see very much fear (as in the sense of propriety and honour in dress and demeanor) in dress and behaviour today? No… not much fear at all. In fact, the “No Fear” slogan has sort of pervaded our culture, thought and behaviour and is totally contrary to God’s design. Immodesty is contrary to God’s design. “Gender-unspecific” is totally contrary to God’s design and yet is common — normal — but normal doesn’t necessarily mean right or appropriate.

there ought to be a law… on indecent exposure

And now there is. And I’d hazard to guess that there are “indecent exposure” laws on the books in many states already… maybe many laws and on the books for many, many years.

So, now in Mansfield, Louisiana there’s a brand new law against indecent exposure… a law against sagging. Now, you know, I’m thinking that there’s going to be a bunch of hooey about the invasion of privacy or personal expression… you know freedom of dress as a form of speech. Apparently, there’ll be a pretty stiff fine for, well… “Anyone caught wearing sagging pants who exposes his or her underwear will be subject to a fine of up to $150 plus court costs, or face up to 15 days in jail.”

So, there you have it. An arbitrary law… that’s also ambiguous. Perhaps this targets men, or rather, younger males. So anyone who exposes his or her underwear will be fined. His or her… underwear. Now, isn’t that interesting —with men and women increasingly revealing more and more of their undergarments, this’ll be a pretty tough law to enforce. Well, that, or the city will rake in the revenue from violators who defy the law. And given what’s being worn every day, they’re going to need reams of paper for writing out citations. Now, how do you suppose they’ll handle women’s clothing? How about swimsuits? How about the inside out fashion trend? You know… women’s lingerie on the outside. O, c’mon, you know what I mean. Lace clothes hanging out of low tops and pulled tight over the low pants. And the trend here in the pacnorthwest and elsewhere is to wear the low pants so that the tag from a type of undergarment purchased from a Secret store is hanging out of the back of the low pants. I see it so often that I wonder… do the fathers of these girls not tell them what all that says? Do the mothers turn a blind eye to the clothing they wear?

Why is it that indecent exposure is so common and so acceptable. Will the law in Mansfield apply to, say, commonly worn beach attire? Is a bikini not simply colourful underwear? And will underwear include all forms? It really could get out of hand… but, I suppose not more out of hand than the current trends that seem to be commonly accepted.
Ironically, I was just corresponding with a woman this evening about this very topic: modest clothing. It was in relation to the sale of what was termed “modest clothing,” and I was commenting that many of the images I had previewed were, in fact, not “modest” at all. They were designed to cover much of the body (and that was remarkable), but they were still skintight and very provocative. So… modesty isn’t simply a matter of not showing the undergarment or of covering the skin, but it’s something more: it is the wearing of apparel to cover and to not be suggestive or enticing about what’s underneath and the manner in which the clothing is worn has a great deal to do with whether or not a woman is modestly dressed. Now, I’ve spoken and written on this topic many times over the years and have sought to encourage women to take a good look at what they are or aren’t wearing — and why. I think I’ll share a bit more tomorrow on modesty and, this latest topic, indecent exposure.