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Trust & Obey

For there’s no other way. But to trust and obey.

This photograph was taken one year ago today. A few hours after the vent was removed, following open heart surgery, my husband began to wake and once again I saw the mercy of the Lord. I marveled then and I marvel now—knowing all that I know from that time to this: God is (and has been) only good all the time; All God’s ways are (and have been) good. Surely it is true that I know nothing of tomorrow but that Providence will rise before the sun. Surely,

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songs for seasons

Just recently I was sharing with my church family the many times the Lord has given me a song for a season — songs playing in the theater of my mind in different seasons. Through the years, here in this blog, I’ve shared clips of songs or meaningful words that have carried me through difficult days or trials. Interestingly (and thankfully!), the Lord has often used music to direct or focus my thoughts. When my mind would tend to wander in caves of worry or despair, songs have been my pillar of fire in darkness; songs have been

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The recovery road

All the information, booklets, visits from the different therapists and the remarks of different doctors in the days and hours prior to leaving the hospital following my husband’s open heart bypass surgery didn’t prepare me for the recovery road. Yes, I’d listened intently. Yes, I’d taken notes and appeared to comprehend all the information they were giving me — giving us.

I guess I was prepared for what they’d specifically instructed me to do when we returned home, but I wasn’t prepared for the other stuff — the other stuff that they didn’t tell me. And now, looking back, I

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Looking ahead, looking back

I glanced down at the clock as I pulled into the parking garage. I rounded the corner and pulled into the same space I’d vacated just 7 hours earlier. Knowing the segment queue was on the :20’s, quickly clicking through the radio stations, I was hoping to hear one of the morning “phone taps” my girls had replayed for me a couple of times. These “phone taps” are pranks a radio host makes on unsuspecting individuals. Twisted, I know. But, given the situation I’d been experiencing, lots of my thoughts were scrambled in those days. Precious minutes were ticking by

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Homeward bound

As I write this, I’m sitting in a large dining room, high atop a mountain overlooking a sweeping valley, many miles from home. In many ways, it feels strangely reminiscent of the time we spent in the hospital. Looking out over the valley, the sun streaming in through the east windows, home seems an eternity away. Nearly five weeks have passed since my husband’s bypass surgery and many of the uncertainties and events of the early post-op days seem a distant memory now — events all covered up with our new normal and activities of each passing day.

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Forever changed

Very early the next morning, as the week began, I realized with that new day, things would necessarily be different from here on out. Triple bypass surgery meant that, in many ways, life forever changed. It dawned on me that through the many years of our marriage, when one of us was ill with a cold or the flu or pneumonia, we rested, took the prescribed medication and got better — that illness, whatever it was, subsided, we got better; health returned. Not so with heart disease. And although my husband’s life isn’t defined by this, it is

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A new day

Throughout the seemingly long afternoon I received surgery updates from the nurses and soon I would hear the words I longed to hear: He’s doing fine. After Dr. Ryan explained a few specifics about the surgery, he said Wes was very cooperative throughout the surgery. I still wonder what that meant. 😉 Then he asked if I had any questions. I thought, Owow — I ought to have some questions — I’ve had all afternoon to think of questions — surely there are some important questions one would ask at this point. All I could say was, It’s

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Then came the morning

At some point in the night, I went from the chair beside Wes’s hospital bed to the couch at the window… the shade was down to darken the room but I was suddenly aware of the bright overhead lights in his hospital room. The morning had come — and true to the testimony, all I knew of that morning was that Providence had risen before the sun.

I thought back on the previous Wednesday afternoon… I’d come in to the dining room having spent the better part of the day working in our gardens. I was

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with thanks to Providence

I am grateful to the Lord for using the hands of these gifted men and women to bless my life in caring for my husband and saving my husband’s physical heart… Dr. Sheridan… for the heart cath and straight talk, Dr. Gardner and her encouragement, Dr. Austin for diagnosis and more straight talk… and for Dr Ryan and his great skill and for giving up a Sunday for an emergency healing surgery.


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Our times are in His hands

On that Friday afternoon it seemed we were leaving with more questions than answers — more of a dilemma than a solution. Strangely, as I look back on the whole sequence of events, it wasn’t necessarily the wisest thing to do—to leave the hospital. But at the time, it seemed like the logical next step — even though we weren’t exactly thinking in or planning for sequential steps of action.

Earlier in the day, when the doc had said bypass surgery was the next step, my husband thought he needed more time in order to plan

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