Letters to my Sisters – The Welcome Home

The Next Right Thing

Over the years I’ve used a phrase numerous times in all sorts of seasons, mental spaces, homemaking, motherhood, even on this blog — the phrase: do the next right thing. This concept wasn’t learned overnight and it wasn’t learned easily. It wasn’t something that came naturally to me — as disciplines of motherhood didn’t come naturally to me.

But, from the beginning, God was working in me to will and to work for His good pleasure. –Philippians 2.13. Day by day He has been working disciplines into my life and I share these things with you that you might experience the same: God working in you for His good pleasure. Or God affirming in you what you’re already doing, learning, accomplishing for His glory.

Journaling, daily chore lists, daily prayer and devotions, checklists, etc., etc., all came into practice for me after I’d been married a little while. Early on, c. 1978, my mother-in-law gave me (among many other books) a copy of Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman by Anne Ortlund. I think, for the first time, I realized how much I did not know, how many things I didn’t pay attention to doing, or how many things for which I had no real plan. I don’t recall enough of the book to heartily recommend it today, but I do recommend establishing disciplines to live by.

Speaking of disciplines to live by, sometimes, “the next thing” isn’t the next right thing (even though it might seem like it). And often we jump to do the next thing in haste (because it’s on the list and because: it. is. the. next. thing.) when we ought stop to evaluate what the next right thing is.

Sometimes we get caught up in the snowball effect of doing next things —all day long, practically running through our day checking off all the things, all the busy things we do every day. And at the end of the day instead of being tired but fulfilled, we might feel as though we didn’t actually accomplish much (except a checked off list) and end the day feel tired and empty. Maybe in that list mix a right thing was missed, a right thing was overlooked, a right thing was rejected.

As I’ve shared a number of times, there are a couple of things I began to do and have done every day for the last 40+ years or so. Every day, first thing, I make our bed, tidy our room and have some sort of quiet time/Bible study/journaling. Those aren’t checklist items but they set the tone of the day… they’re sort of foundational to being ready for the day, ready for the next thing: the next right thing. Since I could have a tendency to be haphazard so these (and other) disciplines help keep me in line. Getting fully dressed for the day is another.

So, what’s a next right thing? Sometimes a next right thing is a: Stop everything–stop and pray! Or, stop and push a swing, see the sunset, listen to a trouble, a story, a heart. Or, stop everything: go take care of someone, go get someone, go make something for someone. Sometimes the next right thing is a necessary brief interruption–sometimes it’s all day. Whatever the case, right things might be seen as intrusions to our disciplines —our order— unless and until we seek to yield to what God is doing.

We might have our next things done so that we can be ready for the next right things. A daily order makes “time demands” easier to oblige. Next things are often task oriented only, whereas a next right thing is hopefully more grace oriented.

Does the next right thing take the place of the next thing? Yes, often.

As mothers, one of the hardest things to evaluate/prioritize is time/list management with so many potential variables. We might fall into one camp or another: so ordered we cannot be spontaneous —or— so spontaneous we never have order. Disciplines are tricky. But necessary. And gracious.

Disciplines bring freedom… freedom to do what we ought instead of doing whatever we want. This is where we can learn to do the next thing with the priority of the next right thing. In Titus 2.3 speaks of aged women being teachers of good things with verses 4 and 5 amplifying the good things.

Doing the next right thing is… a good thing. ♥ —ps

Married for Keeps – The Treasure

[cp_dropcaps]M[/cp_dropcaps]ay the LORD be with you and bless you this day! He is so gracious to us all and His mercies are new every morning. I share this before I share my letter with you because I know that each time I share a letter on marriage, there are sisters whose hearts are breaking and the pain of marital difficulties weighs heavily on them. So it is with this in mind that I write and pray to offer a bit of hope today. What I’m sharing with you today is a message I wrote many years ago and have continued mulling over and continues to be the subject most dear to my heart and a main focus of ministry to women.

As I shared previously, at the beginning of each game of marbles, a circle was drawn in the dirt and the question was posed: “Are we playing for keeps, or are we just playing?”

You see, in marriage, it’s a lot like that and from the beginning, the ground rules or the foundation must be firmly in place and clearly defined. In observing couples over the years, I’ve often noticed that some seem as though they’re just playing while others are clearly playing for keeps. Some seem careless about the marbles in their bags… as if to disregard their value — while others cherish them knowing their worth is greater than all the finest jewels in the world.

As analogies often do, this analogy of marbles, games, and playing for keeps or just playing will break down quickly and perhaps lose the depth of meaning I’m intending to convey, but I ask you… are you married for keeps or are you just playing? If your answer isn’t an affirmative: playing for keeps(!), then may I ask you again for a moment more of your time… another visit over a cup of tea and a prayer for resolve to do whatever it takes to get to the heart of your commitment and to see any fault lines or cracks in your foundation and for you to take a sincere look at what else you’ve got in the bag that you’re treasuring. What might be competing or what might be distracting you?

As with most things, what you’ve got in your bag demonstrates what you treasure and what you’ve been willing to part with or what you’ve lost. You’ve likely had some of both, but will hopefully come to see, value and cherish your treasures more as the years go by.

[cp_dropcaps]T[/cp_dropcaps]he Treasures… There’re numerous treasures—valuable marbles in the bag of one who’s “married for keeps.” And for one who’s married for keeps, quickly discarding the worthless marbles or those things that will damage the treasures is paramount to the guarding of the treasures. In addition to faith in the Lord Jesus, marbles worth keeping and guarding are trust, intimacy, hope and love. Others are: forgiveness, repentance, forgetfulness of wrongs, laughter, tenderness, respect, more intimacy and loyalty. You see, all of these, if treasured and cherished, if guarded and kept polished, provide such strength and an unshakeable resolve to “play for keeps!” If these aren’t kept carefully, then the marriage will be open to all sorts of assaults and distractions resulting in damage or loss of any or all of the foundational stones or “marbles.”

Perhaps you’ve noticed the interaction in different marriages. Some, you’ve readily seen are played out sweetly with great precision as if every move is made with love and skillful intention; you might feel warmed by the loving respect you see displayed, the tender kindness you see demonstrated in even small, but thoughtful, things. You might be inspired by the kindnesses and courtesies given. You might be encouraged by the storms they’ve endured, the trials they’ve faced and suffered and the blessings they rehearse. But then in others, you see right away the negligence and disregard; careless words that make you wince, disrespectful attitudes that make you cringe, lack of respect, etc. The un-cherished treasure, the unloved gift—the bag of marbles spilling out — the pink cleary lost in the battle. I ache when I see this—but I’m instructed to take a look at my current reality–where am I at the moment?

Because I’m keenly intent on the matter, it’s an area of occasional spiritual attack and I’m so ashamed when I discover that I’ve not been gracious and loving to my husband, or that I’ve not cherished the treasure of the gift that he is. I grieve when I hear a man belittle, shame or mock his wife or a woman’s careless disrespect for her husband’s abilities, opinions or plans. It’s as if edification is for *others* but we allow a certain measure of leeway for our flaws or flexibility if we don’t feel like “playing by the rules” in our personal life or marriage that we might demand in others.

I shared with you last time that when I was a little girl playing marbles, I tried to play with intense skill and the determination of a professional as I’d guard that pretty “pink cleary” and I tried to never let it out of my site. Everyone knew it was my favourite as I rarely took it out of my little bag and played it only when I felt absolutely certain I’d not lose it. So it ought to be with each of us and the husband the LORD’s given us: each with our prized treasure: his hopes, his reputation, his home, his goals, his thoughts, his needs, his vulnerabilities, and his emotions—we ought to be so careful with these that we would do nothing to lose or damage them.

[cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. —Proverbs 31.12[/cp_quote]” All the days of her life. Not when convenient, not just when others are observing, not when comfortable, but all the days of her life. Doing good is *active* and intentional… laziness takes little effort, but doing good means taking initiative, being intentional and requires being resourceful. Why? Because sometimes we’ve got such a long way to go or feel there’s no good place to start that every move seems heavy and hopeless. But with God, all things are possible and nothing is hopeless—with God. That’s the key to being married for keeps: with God, all things are possible.

Today, a circle is drawn in the dirt… the take a look at the “bag” of the treasures of your life. Is the bag intact? What’s in your bag? Have you cherished the treasures in your bag? Is the circle in the dirt very clear and visible? Have you sought to be diligent in caring for the things the LORD’s called you to care for? Have you been careless with your treasures? Have you neglected or mishandled the treasures of your marriage? [cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]do the next right thing. [/cp_quote]Today—while it is still today, do the next right thing. What have you neglected? Respecting him? Loving him? Meeting his needs? Honouring him? Building him up to your children? Have you laughed *with* him or *at* him? You see, the answers to these questions will give you a bit of a hint as to what next right thing is that you ought to do. On your knees your answers will come — this is what I have found to be true: on my knees, the answers have come.

Motherhood: A Call to Carry On

Carry on. When you’re drop dead tired and there’re still several hours and as many chores left to do at the end of the day: Carry on. When you have so much to do you don’t know how you’ll do it all: Carry on. When you have so many needs to fill and seemingly not enough resources to fill them all: Carry on. When you’re weary and successes are few and failures are many: Carry on. When you feel all alone and as if no one cares for what you do: Carry on.

Carry on, Mother, carry on! Motherhood’s a call to carry on. No matter what you think, how you feel or how things seem to appear, as a mother, you’re called to carry on.

I was mulling over this message, I got to thinking about flying; the hustle and bustle of the airport, the waiting in line, the scans and the check-points. You board the plane and you prepare for the flight ahead and you sit back and either endure or enjoy the ride. You don’t really worry about your baggage, for at that point there’s really nothing you can do about it anyway. But there’s still your “carry on” stuff… the stuff you need to be responsible to take care of. All the while, it’s up to you to make the best of the flight or perhaps by default, just choose to snooze or endure the passage of miles and time.

Motherhood’s a lot like that… you may come into it with lots of baggage, but there comes a point that you need to put the baggage down and “check it” as it were, and deal with your carry-on’s. You know, it’s interesting how baggage goes… it’s all the stuff we think we’ll need for the trip; it’s all the stuff we thought we couldn’t live without; it’s all the stuff that follows us wherever we go and much of it doesn’t do us any good or isn’t actually useful or necessary for the trip –we usually find that out when we reach the destination. Actually, for most all of us, what’s really important is what’s in our carry-on’s. We usually pack the most important things in our carry-on’s – our valuables, our money, our credit, our identification, our appearance enhancing tools, and other necessities. Problem is, many mothers get bogged down with their heavy baggage and are consumed with looking at it, thinking about it, rifling through it, trying to carry it around –that they forget to hang on tight to their precious carry-on’s. Many mothers are more concerned with the baggage… the things, the what if’s, the furnishings, the styles, the weights of the world, the what-will-other-people-think’s in life.

It’s what’s in the carry-on that is most important —You keep the carry-on stuff intact, chances are good that no matter what happens to the baggage, you’ll still make it though the trip just fine. Your ‘carry-on’ is usually what you need for the trip… the stuff in the carry-on is your treasure. Well, this is sort of a description of motherhood, but as analogies usually do, this analogy breaks down at some point.

Motherhood’s a call to carry on. But we don’t carry on alone. O, the enemy may attempt to persuade us that we’re alone, that no one else is doing what we’re doing, that we have too much to carry or not enough help with what we’ve got to carry or that our load is heavier that other mother’s loads or worse: that our load or the work we carry is not all that important – that anyone can do it. Truth is, whatever the LORD’s given us to do is ours to do – not someone else’s to carry and do. That’s why the LORD has so faithfully preserved His Word, given us His direction and defined our roles as mothers. Many mothers attempt to carry baggage that’s not even theirs to carry –as if what they’ve got isn’t enough already. Many mothers think they’ve got to do all the lifting and carrying and, really, the LORD never intended mothers to do all that some do. O, some things are noble, even admirable, but they’re not necessarily what the LORD designed and called them to do.

So, how do we carry on? Well, I’ve come to see that carrying on is probably best defined as obedience – obedience to the will and way of the LORD and nothing else – for obedience sort of sums up the whole of the Christian walk. It’s hearing what you’re being told and doing it. And for mothers, it’s what we do (or ought to do) and what we teach (or ought to teach). As we walk with the LORD and live in obedience to Him, He enables us to hear Him and to obey Him –that’s the precious work of the Holy Spirit. As we live and walk in obedience to Him, we’re carrying on the call of motherhood. For God calls us to obey Him and He calls us teach our children as we rise up, as we lie down and as we walk along the way. A mother cannot lead children where she herself is not going; a mother cannot teach what she herself has not learned or is not learning. A mother cannot call her children to obedience if she’s not seeking that in and for herself –it’s part of that precious calling: the call to carry on.

So, precious mother, when the way is dark and the future seems bleak: carry on. When the path is rocky, windy and steep: carry on. When life seems to be endless piles –piles of papers, piles of dishes, piles of laundry, piles of toys and books and crayons, piles of dirt and piles of chores: carry on.

And when you feel you cannot go on, stop where you are, fall to your knees and carry on. Carry on to the LORD, He will be there, He will hear and He will carry you. And you will see that all the while you carry on, your cares are in the hand of Jesus and all your carrying on is in His strong hand. You will never find a time when you open the Word or fold your hands in prayer that He won’t already be there. You’ll never find a time where your prayers are not heard by the One who loves you. There will never ever be a time where you step out in faith or in obedience and not fin Him already there.

If it’s been a while since you stepped aside to pray or to read the Word or to write in your journal, taste and see: the LORD is good. He will already be there. He will welcome you with open arms – He won’t be looking at where you haven’t been, He will be looking at your “now.” In the moment you call upon His name, He will answer, He will be there. Taste and see.

Dear mother, faithful and wise, you’re called to carry on – one day at a time in the hand of the Saviour. He’s not looking at your yesterdays or even your worries about tomorrow; He’s looking at your “today” – at your “now.” All that stuff that in the baggage? Be done with fretting about it; be done with lesser things, be done with vain glory and all the trappings of the world. The enemy doesn’t want you to bask in the blessing and direction of the LORD –that’s why he seeks to distract you and weigh you down –reminding you of your failures, what you don’t have and what you haven’t done –or worse: that none of it matters, that it doesn’t matter what you do.

But today? O, today, dear mama, today’s your new beginning. Now is the day, now is the time to carry on in His name – His wonderfully strong name. Your children will see Him in you and they’ll see the Light on the path as you carry on. You have a most honourable, most noble calling: that of carrying on throughout motherhood. Be faithful. Finish well.

an entry from

Carrying on with you: in love and blessings… pamela

What’s Pulling On Your Apron Strings?

teacuppamela What’s Pulling on Your Apron Strings?

That might sound like a strange title to the message I want to share with you today, but perhaps by the time you finish reading this letter, you’ll have an idea and perhaps realize some things you’ve been wanting to take care of for some time.

So, what’s pulling on your apron strings? You know… the thing or things that nag at you or that seem to be pulling at you from one direction or many. You may be attempting to work around your home and keep having interruptions or distractions that prevent you from accomplishing what’s really needful. You may have plans or schedules, or wish you had plans or schedules, and yet every day something, or many things pull on your apron strings and prevent you from meaningful or notable accomplishment.

I know I have these same feelings or experiences from time to time –sort of as if nothing seems to go right or nothing measurable ever seems to get done. It’s as if at the end of each week I have relatively little to show for my efforts and certainly none for the fatigue I might be feeling. Yet, my apron’s dirty and the strings are raveled at the end.

Over the years I had great ambition for great things. I wanted to spend time individually with each of the children each day; I wanted to spend time reading aloud, fixing their hair, assisting them with schoolwork, chores and prayers. I had lofty aspirations that we would do projects, tell and record stories: that I would pass on valuable stories, life-lessons and a rich heritage…

But then, many days –most days– I would come to my bedside and realize that, once again, yet another day where I’d failed to reach my glorious ambitions. Instead, we had just spent another day –another hum-drum day. Together.

Pulling at my apron strings were all the wouldda, shouldda, couldda’s and few of the atta-girl’s, way-to-go’s and wahoo’s of life. At the point I realized that all those marvelous and coveted accolades were simply unrealistic, I also realized I truly was getting all those atta-girl’s, way-to-go’s and wahoo’s of life. I truly had them… I just wasn’t seeing them, that’s all. I wasn’t seeing the “atta-girl” in my son’s: “Mom, will you fix this for me? I can’t do it.” Or, in my daughter’s: “Mama, you’ve got to write down these recipes for me or I will not ever be able to cook like you!” Or, “O, my mom will do it for you, she’s right here!” Or, probably the sweetest gift of all I just received and it was contained in a letter, reading: “Mama… You are the best friend I’ve ever had.”

See, I missed the blessings by being concerned about the unimportant things or on my failings instead of what really was important for the day.

Often, pulling on my apron strings are all the things I’ve done wrong as a mother, wife or friend. Pulling on my apron strings are the things I don’t do well or the things I don’t have (as compared with my friends) or all the ways in which my children don’t *seem* to measure up (again, compared to others’ or compared with a high ideal or whatever).

Everyday, nagging thoughts creep in and occasionally pull me here and pull me there… and even get me all tied in knots sometimes over the silliest things – all tied up over things only the LORD can take care of or only the LORD knows about. Sometimes all tied up over things I *imagine* to be so. And then, I stop and think: wait a minute… should these things be pulling at my apron strings, pulling me down in despair? Should I be letting those thoughts come in and flood my mind, or should I take those thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ.

I know this to be a truth: I have never given to the LORD –any thought, desire, motive, whatever that was then rejected by Him.

He has never yet, will never, can never: fail me. So then, I consider at thought or a pulling on my apron strings and I ask: is this of You, LORD? Or I say, I know this is not of You, LORD, and I ask You to take this thought, desire, fear (or whatever), from me and I ask You to guide my thoughts, guard my heart and mind and help me to see only You. Please hide me behind Your Cross, LORD.

O, sure, other women are going to have bigger, better, more than you or I; and sure, other families are going to have newer, brighter, more attractive homes, children, lives, accomplishments, etc., etc., than you or I. But you know what? They don’t get to be you—they don’t get to be me. You’re uniquely you created by God, saved by Him unto faith and good works. He loves you with an everlasting love and underneath you are His everlasting arms and in you is His eternal Spirit and surrounding you is His eternal joy of salvation in Christ Jesus. Wow. Now those are some pretty wonderful things. Did you know you had all those treasures tucked in the pockets of your apron?

So, next time something starts pulling on your apron strings and you know it’s not simply one of the little blessings the LORD has given you, you just reach in your pocket and pull out one of the Truths of God’s Word and His love for you.

The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee. Jeremiah 31.3

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.” 2Corinthians 10.3-6

I pray the LORD will just bless you and bless you over and over and that you will be assured of His great love for you and that He will guide your steps and guard your thoughts.

always in His hands,

from “Letters to my Sisters”

A Book of Remembrance

Though I have a number of very favourite or treasured verses I continually recall, there are a few that give me great encouragement and great hope. Some I have copied and posted in my home, some I have highlighted or underlined and some I have recorded alongside God’s work or answers to prayer, continued petitions, blessings and other heartfelt matters written in journals.

As I’ve been slowly reading through the Word this year, I’ve been sort of surprised at the number of verses I’ve underlined or highlighted. I’ve been continually blessed and encouraged by dated notes beside significant verses or passages. Some dates or notes point to events I’ve forgotten — others remind me afresh of the great goodness of the Lord. Still others remind me of the great faithfulness of the Lord.

And so, it is these two things that have prompted this writing today: The Goodness and Faithfulness of the Lord. Sort of hand in hand with the verse in Philippians 4.8 that says: “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

God’s Goodness and God’s Faithfulness

Then they that feared the LORD
spake often one to another:
and the LORD hearkened, and heard it,
and a book of remembrance was written before him
for them that feared the LORD, and that thought upon his name.
—Malachi 3.16

And we do need to be reminded to think on these things, don’t we!?! For if we don’t determine to think on these things, we tend to think on things that are not true, things that are not honest, things that are not just, things that are not pure, things that are not lovely, things that are not of good report… we tend to drift from virtue and forget praise… we tend not to think on these things.

We must be daily in the Word, we must be daily in prayer, daily in praise and thanksgiving…

That verse in Malachi that I quoted above has particular significance for us — for it is packed with information, admonition, instruction and edification! As you read it and reread it, you will see it, too. There are so many things to take away from this verse! Fear the Lord. Speak often to one another about Him. He will listen! He will hear! He will inspire the writing of His dealings… and it will be for those who fear Him — those who love Him and think on Him.

Your life is a marvelous opportunity! Your life is a blessing!

So, I’d like to admonish you (or encourage you, at least) to write! Write what He has done for you. Write what He has done in you. Write what He has done through you. Write what He has done in answer to prayer. Write a book of remembrance… let it take time… let it take the rest of your life… but start writing a book of remembrance. Share your stories with others!

Count your blessings, name them one by one, count your blessings, count your many blessings: see what God has done.

Speech filter

“She openeth her mouth with wisdom;
and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”
proverbs 31.26

As we have “spell-check” to alert us to misspelled words – or a grammar-check to alert us of grammar mistakes, this verse serves a divine speech-check — except that we never get a second chance to say the right thing first. This verse then would be our speech-filter verse. The word spoken is spoken – no highlight, delete, re-speak… what’s said is said. We might tend to say the first thing that comes to our mind — and may not stop and give attention to whether it’s wise or kind. So then, as we carry on through the day or when we have opportunity to teach or share a thought — we might test our comments by filtering them through this verse.

O, how our lives need filtering. The filter could be described as the continually abiding life. This filter might be reveling: am I abiding in Christ? Is what I am thinking and/or saying from the Lord? This filter is sort of a product of the engrafted Word — learning and continually gaining more understanding from the Bible; having our life committed and yielded to the will, the way and the leading of the Lord by the Holy Spirit.

“Keep thy heart with all diligence;
for out of it are the issues of life.”
–proverbs 4.23

I cannot count the number of times I’ve said things — and then said or thought: O, I shouldn’t have said that! Or, I can’t believe I said that! More and more I am seeing that the things I/we say are not from nothing — they come from somewhere. Has this thought come from a yielded heart, a content life — for encouragement or edification — or is this word or thought borne of bitterness, pride or some other selfish thing? More succinctly, is this of the Lord or of the enemy? Ouch.

Second chances we might receive to say the right thing might not come right away — if at all. We usually know –instantly– that we’ve said the wrong thing or that we spoken in haste or anger or foolishness. But sometimes we say things we honestly have no idea that the words came across as angry, critical or judgmental. I am coming to see more and more that humility and forgiveness go a long way — for retrieving a misspoken word is not like autocorrect for misspelled word.

“Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt,
that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.”
— colossians 4.6

I’m again reminded to use a double filter when speaking: Is this comment wise? Is this comment kind? This double filter would sure prevent many misunderstandings, hurt feelings, rude or inconsiderate comments. Problem is, we often have hurt feelings over what someone’s said to us — but we tend to forget we ourselves are just as guilty of speaking without grace or speaking without charity. I am so often reminded of this as I think on past offenses or wonder why someone has said this or that hurtful thing. And I have to again filter it — and it’s a decision to do so — only this time, I must filter it through the filter of love: love bears, believes, hopes and endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13.7) I think that it’s in the remembering of this that much ground is spared in maintaining and for mending relationships and friendships.

Sweet speech, loving kindness and graciousness are always a blessing — speaking otherwise always destroys. Time and time again I am having this matter tested in my life — and continually I am learning more need for refraining, rephrasing answers, rewording comments, reworking thoughts and speech. All of the different humbling experiences have been truly for my good — and I’m thankful to have the blessing of correction and second chances. Proverbs 31.26 is a wonderful speech filter.

“Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility:
for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.”
— 1 peter 5.5

Could this be the year for you?

Could This Be *The* Year For You?

“If ye love Me, keep My commandments.”
—John 14.15

O, sisters in the LORD—could this be *the* year for you?

This is when the real change will occur… when we finally seek to know and to live the truths of God’s Word…when we lay our lives at His feet, when we give Him everything we’ve held on to: hands down… when we accept and apply the teaching of the Lord Jesus—demonstrating our love for Him by our obedience to Him… When we finally reckon with: If you love Me you will obey Me.

Could this be the year that you really get down on your knees and confess before the only Holy and Righteous LORD, who loves you endlessly, that you’ve been trying to “go it on your own” and that you are indeed willing that He would use you in whatever way He would choose and that, the Holy Spirit being your guide, you would willingly submit to His will and His ways? Could this be the year that you allow the Holy Spirit free reign in your life? Could this be the year that you would seriously begin to regularly rise early to drink from the rich well of God’s Word? Could this be the year that you would resolve to live in obedience to your husband—not because of what you will gain, but because of the LORD’s command that you do so? Could this be the year that you would cherish the blessings of the LORD: your children?

Could this be the year that you would redeem the time, that you would study the Word for yourself—that you would become a woman of the Word, rightly dividing the Word of Truth. Could this be the year that you would wisely choose the activities in which you would become involved, making sure that they are in line with your husband’s aims for your family, that they are Christ centered and Christ honouring?

Could this be the year that you would weigh very carefully the books you read, the places you might go and the decisions you might make? Could this be the year that you begin consulting your husband before you begin new projects, from attending a Bible study to following the leader of a weight control program, ordering from a catalog, accepting an invitation to another home-party, or taking on another women’s ministry?

Could this be the year that you come home—I mean really come home—to serve your husband? Could this be the year that you daily anticipate and prepare for the return of your husband each day? Could this be the year that you take up those tender things and tender ways you used to do and be for your husband? Could this be the year that you “fall in love all over again” with the man the LORD created
and “fitted” you to help? Could this be the year that your husband will never forget? Could this be the year that you look forward to meeting his needs? Could this be a year of fresh loving romance for you two? Could this be the year that you anticipate meeting his needs by getting enough rest, ordering the evenings, eating properly and exercising so that you are refreshed for him? (“Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.” -Proverbs 5.18-19)

O, if your love for your husband has decreased, if your desire for him has gone… pray the LORD will help you delight in him once again, pray He will love your husband through you and that you will once again desire him. God is a God of miracles, nothing is too hard for the LORD. (Jeremiah 32.27 “Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?”)

Could this be the year that you would determine to be a contented wife, I mean really contented—content with him, his salary, your home, your automobile, your possessions? (Hebrews 13.5) I have heard many many times, there is nothing that pleases a man more than a contented wife… he can deal with a little clutter from time to time, he can deal with a little overweight, he can deal with delayed dinner, a forgotten appointment—but a discontented wife closes off the spirit of the man and drives him away.

Could this be the year that you come home—I mean really come home—as a servant to your family? Could this be the year that they know without doubt that you love them and *desire* to serve them, teach them, help them, prepare a home for them, are not inconvenienced by them, are not tired of them, are not waiting for them to hurry up and grow up so that you can get on with your life? If you’re a mama… this *is* your life. Could this be the year that you will *enjoy* what God has designed for you? (“He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.”—Psalms 113.9) O, if your gladness or desire has waned, pray the LORD will restore your love for the children… pray that He will help you see them as He sees them—as blessings. He loves children… and He will help you love them… (Genesis 18.14 “Is any thing too hard for the LORD?…”) You can trust Him to help you love them the way He wants you to love them and care for them as He would have you to care for them. He can restore your love for them — for motherhood and for your home.

You know, my sweet sisters in the LORD… this could be *the year* for each one of us. This could be the year that we all come home… and *do* those things we know that the LORD has directed in His Holy Word.

2Timothy 3.14-17
“But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.”

Could this be the year of obedience—regardless of what others say or think or do?

Once again the Lord Jesus said: “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” —John 14.15

As we embark on another year, I pray that you would join me in seeking all the above — that you would join me in truly seeking to be an obedient woman, keeping the commandments of the Lord Jesus, following Him, delighting also in Him: earnestly seeking Him.

With love to you, In Jesus—pamela spurling

Reprint… originally written in 2000, revised 2006 Letters to my Sisters

This is life…

At its very best.

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the value of a life, the influence of a life, the consequence of a life, the purpose of a life, and the final testimony of a life. As I have been studying for a Titus2 meeting I’ve been mulling over this month’s topic (from 2 Peter and the list of character qualities) and this month’s topic is charity. We know from 1 Corinthians 13 that without this — without charity, we are nothing.

So one of the questions that continues to be before me is this: what is my motivation for ________? (filling that space with whatever’s before me. I ask myself this question — and want to be more and more mindful of this question when I do this or that thing, think this or that thought, say this or that word — share this or that story. What is the motivation for doing this activity? Am I motivated by love or is it some other motivation? Is my action, word, thought, etc., motivated by love or selfish ambition? Love or personal gain? Love or retaliation? Love or fear? Love or manipulation? Love or deceit?

When I stop and ask myself this question or these questions, I am challenged to do what’s right… challenged to be honourable. When love is the motivation for doing, saying or thinking a particular thing, then I/we desire to do it, say it, think it as the Lord Jesus would have us to do it, say it, think it. This sort of bearing, believing, hoping all things sort of love is a strong motivator to be — and seek to become more — gracious.

So then, I have come to this conclusion:
This is life at its very best:
Graciously doing, at any given moment, what needs to be done..

From Webster’s 1828 Dictionary: GRA’CIOUS, a. [L. gratiosus.]

1. Favorable; kind; friendly; as,the envoy met with a gracious reception.

2. Favorable; kind; benevolent; merciful; disposed to forgive offenses and impart unmerited blessings.

Thou are a God ready to pardon, gracious and merciful.
Nehemiah 9

3. Favorable; expressing kindness and favor.

All bore him witness, and wondered at the gracious words which proceeded from his mouth.
Luke 4

4. Proceeding from divine grace; as a person in a gracious state.

5. Acceptable; favored.

6. Renewed or implanted by grace; as gracious affections.

7. Virtuous; good.

8. Excellent; graceful; becoming.

a brief update

I’m happy to share that the list service that helped me with The Welcome Home messages in the past will also be helping me with the new: Letters To My Sisters email letter subscriptions.

This, from our website…
letters header small

More Information here.
Letters To My Sisters will be much like The Welcome Home
messages I used to send to subscribers.

And as for our friend’s wedding… well, it was so beautiful… more on that later! This morning found us sort of dragging and slow. After the mountain of table linens and towels is conquered, I’ll post a note and some pictures. I’m grateful for the many who prayed us through the week, through the baking, through the storm and electrical outage… and then for all who helped us with the wedding and reception. God is so faithful and careful with us – each one.

upcoming subscriber letters

Dear Sisters
Are you feeling alone and in need of inspiration for the task the LORD has given you as a wife, mother and handmaiden of the LORD? Are you in a place that seems difficult, without mentors or encouragement for the narrow path ahead? Perhaps you are what might be called a “first generation Christian” and perhaps you’ve had few role models or godly examples of just how to be a loving mother, how to live and dress modestly, how to care for and love your children or what it is to be a keeper at home. You simply may be looking for some sweet kindred fellowship from someone who’s walking along the same narrow path and can share in the joys and laughter, tears and sorrows, highlights and low-points of marriage, motherhood and homemaking and keeping. That’s the reason for the writing and sending of Letters To My Sisters. I know I sure need inspiration and encouragement for the tasks at hand and I pray the LORD will use experiences and inspiration to be that for others.

If you received TheWelcomeHome messages I used to write and send to subscribers in the past, these letters will be in much the same format.

If you would like to receive Letters To My Sisters, you may subscribe and the letters will come by email to your inbox.

To *subscribe, please email http://freegroups.net/groups/letterstomysisters/

blessings,