Faith – The Welcome Home

The Welcome Home

For a few months we had been inching toward the sale of our home. One year ago today was the first of three days of showings. We’d been blindly taking steps forward, guided by the unseen Hand.

Now over twenty five years ago we were looking for a home that would be just right for our growing family. “Looking” is far too weak. We were searching, yearning, praying for such a home. We searched and searched—drove around day after day looking for that forever home. It had been suggested that I make a list of things I hoped the home would have. I made that list. I still have it, somewhere tucked in the pages of an old journal.

A series of events led us to drive through our town and notice a small sign on a post: For Sale By Owner. It’s a sweet, memorable story… the home had most every single thing on the list: a porch, a Willow Tree, enough bedrooms, a clawfoot tub, a large kitchen, land, space, a shop… We bought the forever home—the just right home for our growing family. And it was; it was just right. And one year ago today, after the For Sale sign went into the ground, dozens and dozens of showings began. I look back on that day now with melancholy reflection and no small measure of regret. But that Unseen Hand? That Unseen Hand was guiding us. And though I still do not have gladness in my heart about the decision, I do have a small measure of peace. Peace that it was God’s plan and peace that further along we’ll know more about it…

At the end of the lane where that original For Sale sign was posted, and then 25 years later, our own, is a ‘Dead End’ sign. It was always going to be a dead end, but I’m sure never ever saw it that way. I saw it with eyes of joy and a heart full of gratitude. It was The Welcome Home… our forever home.

When we moved into that home, I wrote on the front door: Welcome Home. Thus, it was named. It became the theme of that home… for in that home we welcomed three more babies, raised our eleven children, ran a swimming pool business, we took in several who needed a place to live, we fed strangers and friends, hosted Bible studies and a house-church, had huge gatherings, weddings and memorials, ate fruit from the trees and vegetables from the garden, grew flowers, made wedding cakes, birthday cakes, a gazillion cookies, thousands and thousands of meals and so much more. So much more.

But it is the memories of mornings sitting on the porch beside the enormous Willow tree, in what we adoringly called the Garden of Eden, that make me teary today. We’d become nearly “empty-nesters” the last year there and that porch was kind of an oasis, a sanctuary of sorts, for us.

I purposely did not blog this whole event nor much of anything else for nearly a year now. I was journaling accounts of each day — for which I’m very grateful now. As I’ve looked back, I’ve read the many grievous, heart-rending accounts of all that happened after we accepted the first and then the second offer and the months between the sale and the move away from that dear home.

I haven’t been back to our home—the once beautiful ‘slice of heaven’ with its majestic trees has been forever changed, destroyed, really, but it’s a new year, it’s time to move on. What’s done is done. The beauty and majesty of The Welcome Home is but a precious memory now. I must note that our buyer loves the home, has big plans and dreams for The Lost Willow Farm. I’m glad.

Life’s Greatest Hindrances are its Greatest Teachers

More and more I find that what I used to consider my greatest hindrances were, in fact, my greatest teachers. I used to believe that my troubles were attributable to lack of finances and consequently, thought all of them could be solved by a surplus. I considered disadvantages and often almost totally overlooked the great trust and creativity I was developing and gaining over the years. I used to overlook what God was placing right before my eyes. Troubled with how things were going to work out—crippled by fear that they wouldn’t, days were difficult and money seemed scarce. Little did I know at the time that I would look back on the more difficult days and remember them with sort of fond, perhaps bittersweet, emotion.

I’m sorry for the young woman who was so fearful, but happy for the way the LORD did provide and for the ways she learned to cope, learned to be creative, learned to be hopeful, learned to trust and increased in faith. But the younger woman who used to live in my shoes was often plagued by the “what will people think” albatross, and was shackled by doubts and insecurities – as I suppose we all are from time to time, but when they become interwoven in every thought, they’re like that heavy, paralyzing albatross. The LORD worked through all those sorts of situations and blessed me with a sort of “blindness” to my situation— a sort of “rose coloured glasses” tenor to my life—and brought me through those valleys. I began to see things less and less for what they were and more and more for what I hoped they would be. Sure, the lack of finances still was a hindrance, but I stopped allowing myself to feel as though that defined me or my family. I decided to stop getting tripped up in the trappings of the have’s and have not’s in life—they weren’t helping me. I decided to not let my possessions define who I am—other people may have judged me in that manner—but I never wanted to be that shallow and I knew the LORD didn’t want that for me either. He was taking me through the school of contentment. Had I not had lack or loss, I’d not have learned to be very creative with what I do have. I suppose I might’ve become smug or assume it was my doing when there were increases or “successes.” I surely know that whatever good has come, whatever gain I’ve experienced: successes, benefits or blessings have all been of the LORD.

Some of the deepest valleys produced the richest fruit and it’s faith from those lessons that has guided me through the more recent years and the struggles or trials we’ve faced. When trails have been forged or mountains scaled, the path is a bit less daunting each time it’s traversed. And with each passing, faith is strengthened and trust is deepened. With each passing year, the have’s and the have not’s are less and less noticeable to me and my concern is less self-focused. Pride is an ugly thing I came to see, for it is often pride that keeps us from living and giving—pride is that gripping thing that prevents us from being transparent, from being open and vulnerable. We all have it to some degree or another and sometimes, when we very least anticipate it, pride wells up and swallows us. Gains and losses are the great equalizers in life—they happen to all of us.

Because I know my Redeemer lives and ever lives to make intercession for me —for us—I know that I can trust Him beyond a shadow of doubt: that what He has promised to do, that will He do. He promised to never leave me nor forsake me and He promises in His Word that He will complete that which He has begun.

So the LORD has used trials as teachers, loss as gain, and lack: to fill me. His faithfulness is great, His mercies have been new every morning.

The Eternal God is thy Refuge

The days seem long but the years are quickly passing. As I typed that, I recalled saying something similar in the early years of motherhood: the days are long and the weeks fly by.

I never thought about the swift passage of time in terms my own mortality but in terms of our children growing taller, learning new things—getting older. Now I think of them as young —in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s— so much life ahead while our years are swiftly slipping away.

Early on, older women would tell me to enjoy the children while they’re young, it’ll go so fast; or, these are the good old days. I remember nodding and smiling in agreement (I had no idea!). Some fifteen or twenty years ago I began to tell weary mothers they’d one day cry for those days. I meant it then. And I really mean it now. The years went by so quickly; our eleven children are all grown now… so are a couple of our grandchildren.

In the ten year trap of depression I’ve done more looking back than looking ahead — the regrets of former days, the regrets of what was and wasn’t done, what was and wasn’t said encircled me in an abyss of defeat. The cycle repeated daily like a broken record skipping and repeating. It still could if I weren’t vigilant——and for that reason, among others, I resolve to stay vigilant.

The Word says the Lord’s mercies are new every morning. And, for me, God’s proven that to be so.

“As thy days, so shall thy strength be…
The eternal God is thy refuge
and underneath are the everlasting arms…”
—Deuteronomy 33.25, 27

Strength today and bright hope for tomorrow,
great is His faithfulness.

And great His faithfulness has been! His faithfulness is great. Great. On the bright days (and there have been many!) and on the dark days (and there have been many!). Learning to take every thought captive, to be vigilant to watch for that roaring lion lurking about seeking to destroy, to be patient in the process has borne rich fruit. Interestingly, as I write this we’re in a testing of faith, a stretching of faith, a s-t-r-e-n-g-t-h-e-n-i-n-g of faith! Truly, we are learning to “count it all joy!” And surely, there’s nothing like a trial or a test to fortify and/or verify one’s faith.

Whatever’s happening round about you or me, one thing I know: God is only good all the time.

Over the last decade of deep valleys and bright mountaintops the constant is the Word of God. Truth always wins. Truth always defeats the foe. Truth always sets free. Prayer is peace. The Word of God is life.

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true,
whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just,
whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely,
whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue,
and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
pips 4.8

“Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage;
be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed:
for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.”
Joshua 1.9

The Gathering

The gathering happened and afterward I returned home again to my warm, comfortable, familiar, safe haven. Now, nearly two weeks later, I look back with heartfelt gratefulness. It was such a stretch for me, but I’m so glad I met the people I did and am thankful for the messages that were shared.

Over the years I’ve headed women’s ministries, Bible studies, retreats, and other church events. So I totally get the gatherings deal and the sincerest efforts to create a space where women will gather, feel the love, be ministered to, and not feel like they’re on the outside. I know the planning that goes into making each woman feel as though the evening was planned specially for her. I’ve worked at fine tuning programs to include levity, food, chocolate, and messages that touch the heart, to stir responses and affirmations of faith, joy and hope.

That gathering had those elements—by design or incidentally. It was beautiful, warm and welcoming—and the food was delicious. I now recognize that I’ve longed for such a gathering—to feel the familiar and to receive much needed encouragement.

I’ve reflected on the blessings of the warm conversations and the messages of each of the speakers and much inspiration has come from the things they shared. And since I began writing this entry it’s occurred to me that I’m so not alone in longing for fellowship such as was visibly demonstrated in the elements of that gathering.

And upon further reflection, I’m sure there’re older moms just like me—moms who find themselves journeying along in the midst of moms who aren’t in this next season yet—this season of moms who’ve raised families, who are dealing with adult children, grandchildren, aging parents, aging issues themselves, regrets, desire to still be useful and on and on.

Maybe, like me, you attend a church where younger moms fill the positions of leadership and are beyond busy with activities and programs for women and all the children—you know, doing all the stuff we used to do. And now, we are the older women we used to tell to ‘rest and enjoy, we’ve got it handled, thank you.’ And the older women faded into the margins. And eventually died… along with their stories.

I so don’t want that to be me and I don’t want that to be you.

So, hopefully this blog might minister to older moms-of-many in need of the same encouragement I’ve been desiring. I’ll keep using this platform and the ACH site I’ve had for over 20 years… I’ll endeavour to write more regularly and hopefully minister to those longings… and encourage us both to stay in the game! It’s taken me ten years of climbing out of regret to resolutely determine to not be super-glued to failures and disappointments. They’ve been emotionally paralyzing me from being able to confidently move ahead. And to dare to go to a gathering of “strangers!” I’m so glad I jumped off that highdive!

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect,
but I press on to make it my own,
because Christ Jesus has made me His own.
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own.
But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind
and straining forward to what lies ahead,
I press on toward the goal for the prize
of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Let those of us who are mature think this way,
and if in anything you think otherwise,
God will reveal that also to you.
Only let us hold true to what we have attained.”
philippians 3.12-16 esv

Hindsight Isn’t 20/20

You’ve heard the saying — probably have said it yourself from time to time: “Hindsight’s 20/20!” When looking back on what you did, what you shouldn’t have done, or what you’re sure you ought to have done, could have done, would have done… you may have reasoned a better outcome with your 20/20 hindsight vision. But it’s a lie. Hindsight isn’t 20/20.

Hindsight isn’t 20/20 bcz we don’t know what God knows. You don’t know if you would have had a perfect outcome had you been able to exercise your now perfect 20/20 hindsight bcz you couldn’t have known all the variables at play, or all the extenuating circumstances surrounding that situation. Sure there’re things we wish we’d done, or things we regret doing, but our now “perfect” or mature vision/hindsight really has no sure affirmation of what could have been had we exercised it back then.

One thing’s sure: God allowed what happened to happen for His purposes—for your good and His glory. All the things we should have done or “could have” done but didn’t are still being worked out for our good and His glory. To claim 20/20 hindsight is to take the place of God and all He knew/knows. We were imperfect then and imperfect now. Even our so-called 20/20 hindsight isn’t clear.

Lately I’ve begun to accept the failings I’ve had and have finally begun to see all I’ve learned bcz of those failings, all the things God did in and through all the different trials. I’ve begun to thank Him for them all and in doing so, I’ve begun to see I was taking too much credit for things that didn’t go well or for things I thought I’d don’t badly or hadn’t done right. I’m beginning to see what He allowed to happen was for my good and His glory and had I not experienced failure, I’d not have learned all I have from those experiences and I just might still be entangled in failings and shortcomings, distractions and self-centeredness.

What is clear is that God works all things together for good to those that love Him and to those that are the called according to His purpose. Only God’s foresight, sight, hindsight is “20/20” or, rather, perfect. Perfect: better than 20/20.

So at the beginning of this new decade, this new year, this new month: “To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His steps.” 1Peter 2.21

I hope you’ll join me in seeking to walk in His steps this year. By His faith, not by our sight, by His will, in His grace, for His glory, not by or for our own.

The year stretched out before us is as an unpainted canvas, vast and wide, unblemished, full of opportunity and hope. 2020… a new year, a new decade, a clean new slate. Sure, we’ll bring into it all our stuff, but let’s endeavour to walk with the Saviour and let Him guide the path and sort it all out.

God bless you, God bless the year ahead.

When You Know What God’s Called You To

When you know what God’s called you to, you’ll seek it, you’ll endeavor to walk in Truth, it will be your joy to be called by His name, His great name.

Thanks for joining me for morning coffee ☕
Blessings to you all as you seek to follow what God’s called you to.

When we fail to seek the Lord, to embrace the truths we know, the great and precious promises in God’s Word, and the convictions we hold, we can easily be deceived by smooth speech, pretty lures, and popular trends.

We read in the Word the importance waiting daily at the gates of the Lord: “Blessed is the man that heareth me, watching daily at my gates, waiting at the posts of my doors.” —Proverbs 8.34
And why would we do this—why should we do this? Because the days are evil, the days are filled with deceptions, traps, lures. Look around you, everywhere: traps — sights, sounds, enticements and distractions that would lead us astray if/when we yield to them.

[cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]Blessed is the man that heareth me, watching daily at my gates, waiting at the posts of my doors.[/cp_quote]When you know what God’s called you to, you’ve got to then determine to guard whatever that is. You and I must be vigilant to watch for the snares that would entrap us. Most all sin begins with a deception–sometimes so seemingly inconsequential, it’s easily dismissed. By nature, we want to dismiss sin, and when we’re not walking in the Spirit, we’ll most assuredly be blindsided by the entrapments of sin. If we’re not daily at His gates, abiding in Him, obeying His commands, listening for His promptings, we’ll be prone to entertaining {maybe even personally adopting} deception.

Sometimes we don’t recognize the trap until we’re entrenched in it. Smooth speech, in particular, is but one trap. Think of books, articles, seminars, conferences you may have read or attended. It’s so easy to get caught up in the emotional excitement of the moment, to get tangled up in love for the captivating or entertaining messenger—so much so, that Biblical inaccuracies of the messages may be overlooked. Think of popular Christian women making the circuits today. It might be uncomfortable to stand against the rolling tide, but it’s not that difficult to see deviations from Scripture–though perhaps they’re subtle. Over time, if left unchecked, the deviations might be excused because the messenger is so popular (Luke 6.26), believable, and adored by Christian masses {maybe even our own dear girlfriends—or ourselves!}.

Often, when we see error, we don’t want to be the girl that rocks the boat. But, surely, when we see the girls running to that side of the boat, and we see that it might result in capsizing, we must dare to be that girl to right the ship—to warn the passengers leaning over the edge! We must endeavor to speak the truth in love. With tact. When you know what God’s called you to, you seek to live it.

When we quiet a caution or silence an alarm, we tend to deafen our ears to hearing, dull our consciences listening to the still small Voice, and quiet promptings of the Holy Spirit. When we repeatedly allow this to happen, we become silly women. Those promptings—those great and precious promises we have known—begin to be scattered in the path behind us —opening us to error, heresy, and to embracing the deception of the pretty lures as we begin to accept another gospel—another way—ever learning but never discerning the folly. It may begin with just a small step off the path, but down the way a bit, the path is nowhere to be seen.

“For of this sort are they which creep into houses,
and lead captive silly women laden with sins,
led away with divers lusts, ever learning
but never able to come
to the knowledge of the truth.”
—2Timothy 3.6-7

So, those things God’s called you to? Take in the Word today. Seek it, study it, pray about it. “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” 2T 2.15
When you know what God’s called you to, you’ll seek it, you’ll endeavor to walk in Truth, it will be your joy to be called by His name, His great name.

“Thy words were found, and I did eat them;
and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart:
for I am called by thy name, O Lord God of hosts.”
—Jeremiah 15.16

Regard Not Your Stuff

And so, I encourage you to rest in the Lord… fret not over what God’s doing in your life or where He’ll call you to go or what He’ll call you to do. Regard not your stuff. No matter how things seem to you to be today: God cares for you, the Holy Spirit is ever making intercession for you. The LORD Jesus has taken care of everything that concerns you. God says He will be found by you when you call upon His name.

On my mind lately is the paradox how much I regard my stuff and how much I know this truth: Regard not your stuff! It’s a common thing, isn’t it—to fret or to fear or to regard our stuff? We sometimes fear what God might ask of us. We fear He just may send us to Africa (gasp!) or some other place we know we do not want to go; we fear He may ask us to (gasp!) Homeschool, or to (gasp!) submit to our own husband, have a home business or do things we’ve never done or, never (gasp!) wanted to do. We may actually have several “never’s” on our list.

We may think not so much of where we’re going or what we’re going to do as what we’ll necessarily have to leave behind. Consider Joseph:
Genesis 45.17-21
And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, Say unto thy brethren, This do ye; lade your beasts, and go, get you unto the land of Canaan; And take your father and your households, and come unto me: and I will give you the good of the land of Egypt, and ye shall eat the fat of the land. Now thou art commanded, this do ye; take you wagons out of the land of Egypt for your little ones, and for your wives, and bring your father, and come. Also regard not your stuff; for the good of all the land of Egypt is yours. And the children of Israel did so: and Joseph gave them wagons, according to the commandment of Pharaoh, and gave them provision for the way.

Did you catch a few morsels of truth in that passage? God uses situations — whomever, whatever and however He wants — for His purposes. God used Pharaoh to accomplish His purposes and He will use men and women in our lives, situations we face: mission fields or businesses or ministries He’s given us: to accomplish His plans for us. As wives and mothers, we might not immediately see how He’s using us—it might be years down the road when we get a glimpse of how He’s used/using us. Note what Pharaoh said – and I think what God says to us in verse 20: “Also regard not your stuff; for the good of all the land of Egypt is yours.”

Regard not your stuff. But we do regard our stuff, don’t we?! We think on our stuff, plan for our stuff, guard our stuff and probably often covet even more stuff. But when God has a plan and that plan calls for action, I think one of the most important decisions we need to make is the decision to NOT regard our stuff.

You know what that “stuff” is in Genesis? It’s the sort of stuff we have in our lives today. Strong’s identifies it like this: from 3615; something prepared, i.e. any apparatus (as an implement, utensil, dress, vessel or weapon):–armour ((-bearer)), artillery, bag, carriage, + furnish, furniture, instrument, jewel, that is made of, X one from another, that which pertaineth, pot, + psaltery, sack, stuff, thing, tool, vessel, ware, weapon, + whatsoever.

Read those words again… you’ll get a better picture of the stuff God doesn’t want you to regard when He places a call for you to do something. And the next time God asks something of you and you’re tempted to say no or to doubt the plan or God’s design for the next season, regard not your stuff… your clothes, purses, 15 passenger carriage or your sports car, your furniture, the stuff in your kitchen, the jewels, pictures, the scrapbooks, the plans, the quilts — hopefully, this little message will come back to your remembrance: regard not your stuff.

Maybe God’s calling you to give Him Lordship of your womb and you might fear you can’t handle what He might bring. Maybe you feel like you cannot take care of many children, or that the needs will be too great. Maybe you are too highly regarding your husband, his life, health, job, finances, companionship — maybe all of those things prevent you from fully trusting the Lord—that it is Him—the Lord—who provides for you, protects you, comforts you, guides you. I know I’ve put my husband in the place of the Lord so many times — feeling quite sure I’ll never survive were he to die before me. Most times, the stuff we’re “regarding” are things we cannot control or are things we fear—things we cannot see.

See? We all have stuff we regard. God knows all this. God knows what you’ve got, what you like, what you need, what you think you need and on and on. God knows it all. But you know what? Most important is: that God knows what you really need and He’s already made provision for it. We, you and I, need to accept His call, accept will, and not regard our stuff so much that we miss it: God’s marvelous plans. Or, worse, that we reject His marvelous plans.

Remember: “… regard not your stuff; for the good of all the land of Egypt is yours.” I think the LORD has this note in Scripture for our good — it’s a reminder to us that we needn’t worry about what we might have to leave behind because He already has a plan for us. And it is good. And it is for our good!

You know a couple of very familiar passages: Romans 8.28 and Jeremiah 29.11. Have you thought on them in awhile? I’d like to say that those two verses, in particular, are very helpful, but I’d like to suggest reading the passages that contain those two verses for tremendous encouragement and blessing. Here they are in part:

Romans 8.26-28

26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
27 And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

I have more assurance of this than I’ve ever had as I edited this post today. Trials and triumphs, sorrow and tears, joys and delights have taught me so much in the 11 years since I initially wrote much of what’s written here today. And so, I encourage you to rest in the Lord… fret not over what God’s doing in your life or where He’ll call you to go or what He’ll call you to do. Regard not your stuff. No matter how things seem to you to be today: God cares for you, the Holy Spirit is ever making intercession for you. The LORD Jesus has taken care of everything that concerns you. God says He will be found by you when you call upon His name.

The Power of Music

Music. It tells a story, makes us smile, makes us cry, warms our hearts, consoles our hurts, tells our stories. That’s the power of music.

This morning one of my daughters sent a text, a picture of her home’s front flowerbed: hyacinths and dozens of tulips just beginning to bloom. How sweet of the Lord to give her that gift — this is the first Springtime in her new home and so the various plantings done by the previous owner are just coming into view. This is just an example of so many things the Lord has done for her.

As I was gratefully thanking the Lord for His marvelous works and gifts in her life, her next text was a link to a powerful song.

She’s a deep thinker, a planner, a motivator, a passionate worker and overachiever. She takes things very seriously and so when she suggests a method of doing things, or a book to read or a song to hear, I listen.

I pressed ‘play.’ I cried and listened again. The incredible power of music–that is, the power of music with a powerful message. If you’re fearing something today, if you’re fearing what others think of you, if you’re facing a huge tax debt, if you’re suffering financial burdens, job losses, health problems , if you’re lonely, alone — if you’ve lost your way, if you’ve messed up relationships in your life, if you’re covered up in an avalanche of sin, stupid mistakes, if you’ve got heavy regrets: fear could (probably will) lead you to do, think, say, and/or feel things that aren’t going to end well for you. Fear is a liar. Fear isn’t of the Lord. Fear is of the enemy of your soul.

Fear will work to convince you your life’s not worth living. That’s a lie. Fear is a liar. Don’t give in. Don’t give up. Watch. Watch and see… the things that are crushing you today will be turned into a powerful testimony of God’s great grace. Watch and see. Trust Him today: He is true.

I hope this powerful song will minister to you today –wherever you are– and I pray, as I press ‘publish’ today, that you’ll turn to the Lord and rest in His love for you, give Him your problems, He’s the only one who can solve them, He’s loved you with an everlasting love and He has perfect plans for you and every single thing that concerns you. I pray you’ll lay your sorrows and problems at His feet. I don’t say any of this lightly. It’s true: Taste and see the Lord is good. He hears and He heals.

{Zack Williams – Fear is a Liar – music video}

Call someone. Talk to someone. Tell someone your story. Talk over your problems. Don’t walk your journey alone. Don’t carry your burdens alone.

Jesus Saves

Freedom.

Welcome Home

Welcome Home. Some of the sweetest words we all long to hear, long to read, long to know: Welcome Home.

Some of you have been reading pages of my journal for many years — some, perhaps, for the first time today. I’m glad you’re here — I’m glad you’ve been here. I’m a sporadic blogger but a daily reader and writer, and, this being the case, it’s probably disconcerting to readers to wonder when/if another entry will be written — I know it is to me. ~smile~
This past season’s been strangely tough for me – tough to figure out, tough to define, tough to understand. But I’m thankful for this past season of wondering, wandering, meandering. I’m thankful for what I’ve learned — learned about myself, learned about others, learned about the Lord.

The most important thing I’ve learned is that with God, it’s always: Welcome Home. It may not be so with others and it may not feel so with myself, but with God, it’s always: Welcome Home. Others may reject you, mock you, shame you, judge you, walk away from you. But not God. God’s always: Welcome Home. You may destroy your message, destroy your days with regret, destroy your hopes for a better tomorrow by dwelling on hoping for a better past — your regrets are Super-gluing your there. But not God. God’s always: Welcome Home.

Had I not spent the last 8 years in and out of emotional turmoil, I’d not be able to surely tell you this today. I’d not be convinced that I know that I know that I know: God’s always: Welcome Home and the devil is always the super-gluing deceiver. There’s no hope for a better past, but the devil will preoccupy you with your failings so that you have no hope of a better future. So preoccupied have I been with my failings, disappointments, regrets, that I’ve been largely ineffective to “occupy till He comes.”

I’ve thought I need to daily admit to my failings as a distracted mother, wife, friend, follower of Jesus, so that no one will think I’ve forgotten my failings. Even my children who say, What are you talking about? I don’t remember that. So I remind them. I’ve thought I need to regularly rehearse them so that it won’t seem like I’m pretending I wasn’t distracted, never failed, or that I’ve forgotten. That’s a lot of focusing on me, isn’t it? That’s heavy self-centered burden, isn’t it? And, it’s contrary to the message of the Cross, isn’t it?

I should have done better. I could have done better. I would have done better had I realized I shouldda, couldda. But that’s not the reality. In reality, I didn’t. And there’s not a single thing I can do about any of it. At all. So… I’ve been doing differently. And by the grace of God, I can see it’s all been to His glory.

And the thing I know is: God. God is always: Welcome Home. The focus is on Him. The focus is Him. The focus is from Him. So wherever you are today, reading the pages of my journal, I pray you too will know the freedom to go on, from today, knowing the Welcome Home of God. In Him is forgiveness. In Him is life–real life. And in Him is fullness of joy. There is NOthing you can do about your yesterdays and how you spent them. But there is something you can do about today.

Today, you can confess your sorrow, sin and regrets — and lay them all down — lay all your regrets/burdens down at the foot of the Cross (and say Thank You, Lord), and walk through the door of God’s Welcome Home and see what He wants you to do today. Just do that.

Welcome Home.