pamela spurling ♡ November 27th, 2019
Thanksgiving is here, I heard someone exclaim. And one might immediately wonder how it came so quickly again this year. I mull this over (and, yes, I do marvel that another Thanksgiving is already upon us), I think: Is Thanks-giving here? I mean… here, here. Here in my heart, here in my life, here in my thoughts and in my words.
I stop and take a mental inventory of my days of late. How thankful have I been–or have I displayed thankfulness at all? Is thanks g-i-v-i-n-g a characteristic plainly obvious in my life? Is thanks giving part
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pamela spurling ♡ April 21st, 2018
Through our lives we have experiences that are etched on our hearts and minds — experiences that shape our thinking, shape our reactions, shape our responses, shape our decisions — maybe even shape our initial theology or lack thereof. If these etchings were recorded on 3×5 cards, in time we’d have quite a card file full, wouldn’t we? Events and experiences, lessons and influences all recorded on cards make up our individual card catalogs. It’s interesting to me, every now and then, to come across a card I realize has had a profound impact on my life and
Continue reading the suicide option
pamela spurling ♡ November 1st, 2017
Tonight I’m doing something I never do: writing raw. On purpose.
On purpose, generally, I never write raw. I write. I let it set. I come back and rewrite. If it seems pretty set, I “publish.” Tonight I’m writing raw.
Eighteen months ago a journey began here at our house. Totally uncharted territory. Big time. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what to feel, I didn’t know what to think, I didn’t know what to say.
But time went on… and as time went on, I began to know what to do, I began to know what
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pamela spurling ♡ October 27th, 2017 Living 99 years… determining to finish well.
Continue reading Living 99 Years
pamela spurling ♡ April 18th, 2017
Every day, year after year, God’s writing my story. Every day, whether or not I can understand the circumstances I face, He has a very good plan for whatever I face. And regardless of my comprehension, His plan is for my good and His glory.
I believe this not only because His word says so, but also because I have seen His work and His glory has been continually revealed in His work in my life and in the lives around me. This isn’t one of those God’s Word says it, I believe it, and that settles it! sorts of
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pamela spurling ♡ February 22nd, 2017
I was once in an accident that blindsided me. It happened in a startling flash! And though nearly four decades have passed, I haven’t forgotten sitting there in the car, shocked that while making a left turn in a blind hilltop intersection, I’d just been spun around and was facing an entirely different direction on the hill I’d intended to drive down to go home. Soon I would talk with an officer and would receive a citation and have to go to traffic court. It was a mercy that a very lenient judge determined that though the accident was
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pamela spurling ♡ February 15th, 2017
Resolve. Quite a number of times recently I’ve longed for reclaiming former resolve. Sort of the embracing of the old paths — things that became such high priorities in former days. So now, I humbly say, experiences in recent years have really knocked me down and drained my resolve. Sinking in worthlessness jolted my senses and made me realize resolve had slipped away. Wait! Where’d it go? Where did the eagerness go?
In the eighties and early nineties I had many young children — the days were full and busy — and while some of my priorities bordered on legalism,
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pamela spurling ♡ January 28th, 2017
In my earlier years, I seem to have had no lack of bold confidence or sheer determination (and what was becoming blind faith). As I look back now on those earlier days — so many amazing (and so many cringe-worthy 😲) days! I marvel at the goodness and mercy of God!
The other day Hannah asked me if I regret any of the purchases we made in the early days of parenting. This conversation was sparked by a comment I made regarding the proliferation of infant and toddler necessities — all the latest stuff young mothers think they must have
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pamela spurling ♡ January 24th, 2017 change is a good thing
Continue reading change is a good thing
pamela spurling ♡ February 23rd, 2016
For days my mind’s been flooded with grief and all sorts of other CSA emotions I’ve been trying to stifle. (I wrote this a week ago; gripped with the reality that sexualabuse steals and steels. Today I wondered if I wrote it as another of many, many entries I would write and never publish. But I’ll publish this today with the prayer that grown up little girls might be helped, encouraged and comforted — not alone, not wrecked, not forever bad or without hope.)
[trigger warning] Hot tears flooded my eyes as I read a letter
Continue reading CSA… It Steals and Steels
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