Tag: Homeschooling

Flee Comparisonitis

psalm16

Maybe you saw my thoughts yesterday where I wrote about Comparisonitis or making comparisons and how easy it is to become ensnared by this.  Comparing ourselves to others, comparing our situations to other’s situations (or our perception of their situations), our accomplishments (or lack thereof) to other’s accomplishments (as we perceive them to be).  Then we spend precious moments or days or years mulling over what we have or haven’t done (right), what we do or don’t have, what we have to deal with — compared to others. [Late edit to add a link to another article I wrote regarding Titus2 blogs, groups and teachings — I call it: Compare-a-Titus.  There are so many comparisons we make are often bogged down by the lack we often feel as “TitusTwo” women. You can read it here.]

When these thoughts come up, I know I need to flee these thoughts.  Flee! And quickly.

I’ve come to realize that when I compare myself with others or my whatever’s with other women’s whatevers, I inadvertently make them the standard to which I seek to attain.  I make them the  guide and standard of my life instead of making the Lord, His Word, His way, and His truth for me the guide and standard of my life.

We know that medically or pathologically, “itis” is inflammation, which, in an organ of our body, is a bad thing and we seek quick attention to reverse or eliminate it as it’s usually painful and damaging.  But we don’t often do this in our own lives when it comes to inflammation of thoughts or feelings.  We often, instead, harbour the thoughts that brought on the inflammation, we feed them and encourage them by continuing to validate them.  I do this sometimes — though I know it’s not good — not good for me, and not good for my home and family. In this way, I unwittingly spread my “itis” to them — they know something’s not right, but can’t see what it is.  That’s why (in part) it’s so critical for me to flee making comparisons before they become in me: comparisonitis.

Incidentally, by continually making comparisons (especially if voiced), I validate the activity (and further cement it in my emotional pathways).  I model it for my children and set them up for their own comparsonitis.  In addition, I elevate another’s situation or accomplishments or possessions over my own.  Again, validating making comparisons for my children to do the same — if I don’t want this attitude/behaviour for me, I sure don’t want it for them.

So when it comes around, I have to make the conscious decision to flee comparing before it wiggles its way deep into my thoughts.  When I see that I can’t do something like, or a wells as, another person does them, I need to just be content that I do what I can do and I can choose to rejoice at their fine work or rejoice with them over their accomplishment.  Then, my heart is warmed bcz it’s all about them and not about me. The more I do this through the years, the more easily and quickly comes the response of rejoicing.

When I feel like I never do enough, right enough, good enough, whatever enough, I have to see that as an alert!  Compared to what? Compared to who?  Did the Lord tell me that or did I take my eyes off Him and fix my gaze on someone or something else?  Do I not have something I feel I should have?  Is He not enough?  Has He not provided exactly what I need for each day?  Has He forgotten something?  Or — have I run ahead, doing something He never directed me to do or in a way He never directed me to do it?  Did I get out of order my reason for doing something?  Have I made my life hard by doing something in a way He didn’t intend for me (but I was trying to do it like So-‘n-so)?

Discontent is tremendous fodder for comparisonitis.  And vice versa.  [cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. –Hebrews 13.5[/cp_quote]So I continually resort to the Word, it is my foundation.  After all these years I finally see why He says His mercies are new every morning.  I see the why behind the great and awesome privilege to daily sit at His gates.  The Lord reveals Himself, magnifies Himself and feeds me as I read and think on His Word.  I trust in Him and seek to follow in His steps.

I continually rehearse what He has done, for I know and have seen(!) that no matter what comes, I can truly trust Him and lean on His promises.

But he knoweth the way that I take:
when he hath tried me,
I shall come forth as gold.
–Job 23:10

Comparisonitis

cuppatimothyIt sure took me by surprise… hasn’t happened in a long time… and, when it does, it rarely lingers.  Except today.  Today it lingered awhile and I completely caught off guard.  I was busily cleaning an area and reorganizing a bunch of books… I even had a ridiculous Christmas song stuck in my head.  And then, all of a sudden I was overwhelmed thinking of some of my abysmal failings as a mother – a homeschooling mother, specifically.  And I was trying to think of one good thing I’ve done — one really exceptional achievement in which I had even a small part.

I can’t say I’ve done my best as a homeschool mama.  I can’t say I’ve dedicated my life to homeschooling.  And, I can’t say there’ve been many stellar achievements — as the world might measure.  And I wouldn’t have even taken the time to bore you with this seemingly self-deprecating post had I not “snapped out of it” and considered God’s great work and His continuing processes!  And then to further be encouraged as I came in to browse my links, I saw a post Tim Challies had written.  It sort of paralleled my resulting thoughts today and something my husband had told me a few days ago (wait, was I inundated with doubt that day, too??) which really spoke to my heart.

I thought, well, what have we done? My husband has daily, decade after decade, gathered the family every morning for Bible study (Co-Incidentally, this morning, we were studying Deuteronomy 6), and I’ve done my best to teach them using the truths of God’s Word and to, by example, trust in the Lord and live by faith in Him.  I’ve sought to make our assignments according to His Word and show them that He is always only good all the time.  I got a lot of stuff wrong.  Probably more wrong than right.  But, even if that’s the case, I will continue to cling to the Truth and I’m so thankful my husband’s words came back to me and rang in my ears.

[cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]”But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them;   And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.   All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.”
–2 Timothy 3.14-17[/cp_quote]He said them in the beginning of our homeschool journey, some twenty eight years ago, he was saying them in the middle and he said them again as we plan for another school year in what is now the last few of our homeschooling years. I’m comforted that his earliest goal is the same today.   He said he didn’t care if they were geniuses or lacked knowledge in this or that… his desire is that they know the Lord, that they know God’s Word very well…  And beyond that, that they have integrity, that they know how to work  diligently and honestly and that they know how to learn whatever it is they need to learn.  That sounds so very simplistic, I’m sure.  But I will continue to affirm and trust what the Bible says.

All this, on a day when I had comparisonitis wash over me.  But as I set out, as I always do this time of year, to make this the best year ever, I’m reassured that what I plan is the very best thing I could do with and for them.  And in the end, I will continue to trust God for the increase.

It’s critical for me to reaffirm and truly rejoice in, as Tim Challies so poignantly wrote, the one thing that matters most.

homeschool conference withdrawal

 [cp_dropcaps]E[/cp_dropcaps]ach April, for the last ten years, a highlight for us has been the annual Christian Heritage Family Discipleship & Homeschooling Conference—this year, particularly so—for so many reasons.

When I awoke this morning, I realized I’d been processing the conference in my dreams all night long.  I wondered how many other’s night’s sleep were filled with screen images, books, papers, faces, admonitions and beautiful music.  Through the day today, I’ve recounted conversations, in addition to important talks given by various teachers, I see and hear, in the theater of my mind, the beautiful performances and music that blessed us all — thousands of voices lifted in praise for what God has done.

But I also pondered, as I went about the dailies this morning, that there are probably countless others who’ve come away from the annual conference feeling overwhelmed and maybe even defeated — defeated in their home, homeschooling, family, marriage or homemaking — before they even put on Monday’s running shoes.  They may have arrived at the conference feeling that way, too.  But at the conference, they were uplifted, encouraged, cheered on!  At the conference, they were inspired to tackle the responsibilities that lay before them, to seize the opportunities set before them, and with gusto and fervent desire, to grasp the gold ring, so to speak.

And today they’re experiencing conference withdrawal.   Our kids talk about this sort of withdrawal when we drive away from an annual Bible conference weekend at the river in eastern Washington or from our annual family reunion gathering—mountaintop experiences that make normal, daily life seem ever so mundane.  And flawed.  I experience it, too.  Even though I predetermine not to.

I didn’t buy a thing at the conference this year — not even the cute commemorative coffee mug.  I didn’t order the whole conference on CD or mp3 (and not bcz it wouldn’t be totally worth buying!).   I didn’t feel compelled for even a moment to look for the key to homeschooling or the latest and best math or writing curriculum.  I didn’t even wonder what I was missing.  For the first time ever at a homeschool conference or convention.

No, I haven’t arrived and no, I don’t feel like I’ve got it. Surely not! I just finally know that I know: there is no key out there.  There is no magic homeschool: bling! you’re done!  There is no one-size-fits-all, success-in-a-box, homeschool  program.  All that, and if I live to be one hundred, I could not fully utilize, read, implement all the stuff I already have.  Seriously.

But there’s withdrawal… even still.  One thing I believe is common to us all is that we’re all seeking to do well, to finish well.

I wish I could convey that to others who are feeling inadequate as they come down from the past weekend.   Especially those who looked around all weekend and saw all the perfect mothers, perfect children, perfect curriculum packages, perfect books and perfect manuals… and are feeling like this mom:

homeschooler cartoon

And what I’d like to say to this mom: take it easy.  Do the next right thing. Stop collecting stuff and start using what you’ve got.  Study the Word to know the Lord.  Read aloud.  Hone in on the basics.  Talk & listen.  Listen and talk.  And take it easy.  Major on the majors and not on the minors.  In the end, it’s really all about God:  loving Him, knowing Him — what He has said, who He is, what He has done and what He will do — trusting Him, following Him, hearing Him, obeying His voice and doing His will.  Stay in the race with your children.

The race is shorter than you think.

Blue & White

teacuppamelaI love blue and white things.  Blue is my favourite colour.  It’s not my favourite mood, though I struggle with that one.  Sometimes, a lot.  Blue is my favourite for hydrangeas, dishes, gemstones, berries, skies and seas.  And though I mostly prefer to wear pink and black now, navy clothing has long been pretty much the only colour I’ve worn. 

So you can imagine, that when I went to my first Basic seminar (wearing my favourite colour and that favourite colour was the colour of my dress),  I felt right at home that night.   I hadn’t learned yet that how things feel and seem in a situation are both critically important to me—and bcz of this, I, early on, was taken in by all the new information, all the new approach to life.  All the blue and white.

A few years later I would be sitting in a Mother’s Meeting in Tennessee and I would hear a phrase  that would come to have incredible significance to me.   One of the mothers commented to another:  Well, you don’t have to be so blue and white about it!  I let that sink down in my ears.  Tucked it away for some future day… and when that day came, I understood.  I totally understood.

I was not raised “in a christian home” and did not have the background or the foundation of faith that I have today.  I was growing in the Lord and was eager to do the right thing to live right,  to do the right works, to not make mistakes, to have bright and cheerful, obedient children, to not suffer shipwreck.  And on and on.  So… the blue and white!  There was so much blue and white  (remember, I’m not talking colour here)!

All the stuff I didn’t agree with or that didn’t set well with me or things I didn’t/couldn’t grasp, began to pile up—but instead (in the early days) of discarding or walking away from those things, I kept thinking I would/should/could try harder.  The blue and white appeal was so alluring, so compelling—I felt I must strive to do/think/be better.  I thought if I worked harder, I could get it… I could finally get to a successful, faithful Christian life. That was a lie.  It would, in time, become clear to me.

The trouble with cleverly orchestrated, tightly controlled information, firmly established methods and the appearance of righteousness  is that somewhere along the way, that original, sincere desire to know and serve the Lord God, to understand His Word and to observe it and to walk in His ways, to give Him honour and glory, to live in faith by the grace of God, to know and love the Lord Jesus and to obey Him… well, all that gets set aside or gets redefined by following all the rules instituted by a man  instead of simply seeking to know and do the will of God by daily seeking Him in the Word and in prayer and following the Lord Jesus Christ in the light of the Holy Spirit.

As I’ve written in some previous posts, it’s been a long time since I(we) sat in one of those Basic or Advanced seminars.  It’s been a long time since we’ve read anything the Institute publishes and a long time since we began to question and throw off the shackles of IBLP / ATI.  But, like an onion… or any engrained erroneous teaching or any engrained bad habit or patterns of thinking, there are layers and layers and layers that need to be peeled away, cut back and removed in order for the truth to have preeminence.  

With each passing year… I see yet another thought or principle that is incorrect or is a false teaching that I’ve believed and I’ve had to stop, see the error for what it is and repent of the practice of the teaching/idea/etc.  Freedom comes from each exercise of faith, each revelation of Truth. 

What I thought was freedom was really a cage… what I thought was a solid foundation of truth was really a slippery slope and the new approach to life was really an intricate web of false teaching.   You gotta understand, it all seemed so good… life seemed so much better when it was all blue and white… I thought we were doing all the right and best things for our home and family.  We were so sincerely seeking to know and do the will of God and thought that the careful constructs of the Institute were the ones to follow.

A battle I’ve had to fight through the ensuing years has been the battle of what if’s.  What if we hadn’t been in ATI?  Or what if we’d never followed the principles of the Institute?  What if we’d not been so legalistic or so rigid in our parenting?  What if we hadn’t been so blue and white?  Would we have been able to escape some of the problems we’ve experienced?  Would we have been able to avoid some heartaches?  I don’t know.  I don’t know the answers to the what if’s.  But I do know this:  God is and has been faithful to us.  And I trust His word.  And what the devil intended for evil, God intends for good and so… the what if’s?  Eternity will sort them out.  I cannot.

So the last 16 or 17 years have been sort of a free-fall *into* the everlasting, strong Hands of the Lord.   We’ve clearly seen God’s tender mercies and work in our lives:  we’ve been weaker and we’ve been stronger… we’ve been more sure and more doubtful of different Christian beliefs/practices… we’ve made a bunch of blunders and have had a bunch of good things happen… but most of all, we’ve come to the place of looking to Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith, by the mercy of God, seeking to live daily following Him and Him alone and by the grace of God we seek to finish well.

Unpacking The ATI / IBLP Baggage

teacuppamelaWhat I’m writing about these days isn’t sensational and isn’t unique to me.  It’s not isolated and it’s not rare — at least not in homeschool and/or conservative Christian circles.  It’s probably going on all over the place to one degree or another.  Most everyone who’s been caught up in a particular group/movement/method comes to a day of reckoning and has to unpack the baggage they’ve intentionally or unwittingly picked up and carried as their own along the way.  And it’s in the unpacking that some things — some ideas or ideals — are seen for what they are: good or bad — valuable or harmful, truth or lies.It’s my hope that the unpacking of some of the ATI / IBLP baggage will be a freeing experience — that it will be an encouragement to other women to be done with wondering if you’re doing the Christian walk right enough  or — if you’re in, or formerly in, ATI: whether you’re good enough, charitable enough, hard-working enough, orderly enough, diligent enough, attentive enough, thorough enough, bright eyed enough, smiling enough, industrious enough,  virtuous enough, resourceful enough, wise enough… or any other enough of the 49 character qualities.   I’m not mocking character qualities — seriously, I’m not — but if the source of character is anything or anyone  but the Lord Jesus, then it’s just flesh.  It is walking/operating in the flesh.  It’s just like what Eve did… it’s wanting to make self wise and using personal resources and personally determined logic or reason to attain a desire — and in the case of most   lots of ATI families, usually the desire is meet the ideals set by the Institute… superior appearance, accomplishments/achievements, the appearance of goodness and righteousness, honour and purity, etc., etc., all the while personally battling (unbeknownst to others) inferiority, lack of accomplishment, lack of measurable achievement, failure, incompetence and depression.Giving the World a New Approach to Life?  No need to try and do that any more.  One man — one man alone did that and that man was/is Jesus.  He alone is the only “new approach” we need for life.  ATI and IBLP boasted of “giving the world a new approach to life” over and over again.  A group of people following the standards of a man will not succeed in giving the world anything but *another* approach of behaving/believing and that other approach will likely lead them away from, or will inoculate the ‘followers’ against, the Truth of the gospel.

If this sounds like a critical, bitter rant, believe me, it’s not.  And I’m continually stopping to assess what I’m saying so that this does not become something of a mudslinging session.  I desire, above all, to be faithful to the Word,  to sound the alarm, as it were, to a parallel society that uses much scripture, pat answers and formulas to enforce and require adherence to particular behaviours and beliefs and one that fosters a false sense of spiritual ‘security’ that is based on works, appearance and surperior ideals instead of shedding light on the Scriptures and exhorting the simplicity of walking day by day in the faith of the Lord Jesus, in light of the Scriptures by grace, because of the finished work of the Cross: our salvation, redemption, sanctification and continued daily guidance of the Holy Spirit because of that finished work and our relationship with Jesus, our Lord.I want to be very careful in this series of articles to encourage a faithful and sincere walk with the Lord—-and not to encourage throwing away *everything* you’ve believed to be true.  Sift it out, examine it, weigh it before the Lord, but don’t walk away—leaving *everything* of faith behind you.  Take the hand of the Lord and seek Him to guide you into all Truth and be willing to lay down the burdens you were never meant to carry.
The different components, unscriptural teachings, formulas, programs, diagrams and charts in the ATI / IBLP baggage may take years to unpack, examine, sift and discard.    Seriously.  Years.  I’m only going to touch on a couple of pieces of that baggage today.
ATI baggage…
One of the heaviest pieces to unpack is the gravest burden of all — the weight of works.  Works look very different in different people, situations or in practice or expression.  But it’s a heavy one, I tell ya!  Unpack and leave that one!
quoteFor by grace are you saved by faith; and that, not of yourselves:
it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast.
Ephesians 2.8-9
And surely not to be overlooked is this other heavy piece of baggage—probably the most egregious, really and this is the baggage of misunderstanding the doctrine of grace.  You really gotta take this one out, examine it, and throw it away if you’re carrying this one.   You get the definition/understanding of grace wrong and you enter into a quagmire of misinterpretation and application of what is anything but grace!
ATI Grace defined: the power and desire to do God’s will.  But that’s not grace at all — that’s not what God’s grace is.  That grace is like self-created pixie-dust, a lightsaber or whatever other imagined or self-willed tool, action or reaction is — but whatever it is, it isn’t the grace the Bible refers to — it isn’t the Grace of God which has appeared to all men.  Get that wrong and you miss the precious gift of the Lord Jesus… His grace manifest in your life through redemption in Him — not by works of righteousness which we have done, but by His grace, He saved us; when we deserve(d) wrath, it was/is His merciful grace that saves us, it is His sovereign work in us, through us, round about us, carrying us, working all things together for good for us… His favour, His particular presence, that we can know Him — this is the grace of God in Christ Jesus.  This is what Jesus gives us, works in us, does for us.Other erroneous teachings… the chain of command.  You gotta dump this baggage and study what God really says about authority.   And who our authority is/authorities are.  Those images in the booklets and on the screens from the overhead projector are still indelibly imprinted on my mind—-and I keep having to unpack them, take them out and look and them through the lens of Scripture to see what God really says, what He really intends for me and how dangerous it is to swallow error laced truth.  Makes a real mess of things.  But, by the grace of God and His mercy we can sift through all this and walk with Him.

More later.

Compare-a-titus

If you’ve been a mom for any length of time and you’ve spent time in and about homeschooling circles, Bible studies, workshops, conventions, courtship talks, retreats, blogs in the last 3 years or so… etc., etc., you’ve no doubt heard, or been part of, conversations that left you with a case of comparatitus.  All those Titus2 groups… you may lament and despair.   Comparatitus happens — no matter your age, no matter your income, no matter your experience and, really, no matter your skills and abilities.  Comparatitus happens.

Some time back, a group of sisters were gathered and there was some back and forth lamenting the various skills and abilities one or another lacked.   The conversations meandered into areas of homemaking… babies… schooling… child-training.  I noticed one of the women not saying all that much — but her eyes conveyed a tender message and her tears, despair.  I observed that day and understood from that moment something I’ve never forgotten and that is when a group of sisters is sharing, there is (among *many* +/- things) a great potential comparing —  potential for discontent and for envy.  Comparatitus.  O, how we must face this and determine to nip it in the bud.

When we stand next to and compare ourselves with anyone we’ll likely fall into one of two categories and, perhaps, a third will follow.  We’ll either feel inept, inferior and sorely lacking whatever it is we think she has (self-pity), or we’ll feel superior, better-than, or self-confident (pride).  A third category we might fall into might take on many forms — but will stem from what I’m calling Compartitus.   We compare ourselves to a Titus woman = comparatitus.  We might say, O, I don’t do thus and such, I never accomplish this or that, I’m not able to do thus, I don’t have these or those, I don’t have x number of children, I have x number of children, since I don’t have x number of children I must not be_____, since she has x number of children, she must be________.

The conversations (mental or actual) may continue on… I wish I could have_____, then I’d be able to______, but since my______ doesn’t or won’t______, I can never be______or have______.  Like you.

Comparatitus can then get pretty heavy and… watch out now…

O, she thinks she’s so______, I mean, just look at what she_____. She always ____. I’ll never be as____ or ____.  I mean, because she____ and I’ve never  had the_____ and I cannot____ like she does.  And, besides, I only have____  ____, so I________, unlike her, because she has_______ and she always_____  and________. So, I can’t ever be _______ like her.

Comparatitus.

Comparing ourselves to an ideal… to another sister who seems to have it all together, who seems to always get the right stuff, say the right things, have the right friends, yada, yada, yada.  It’s such a dangerous spiral to get caught up in that thinking and in that talk.

Truth is, we’re not to compare ourselves to others — God didn’t create us to be someone else — He created us to be ourselves growing in grace to be like Jesus — for His glory.  When we compare and despair, we are rejecting God’s marvelous design *and* His provision for us.  When we compare and despair, we invite the enemy in to mock God (and our thoughts and actions determine how long he’ll stay and how much ground we’ll give the enemy).  We gasp and think, O, I didn’t mean to do that!  Really, none of us want to be found in that camp — surely.  That’s why we must not covet — we must be content with such things as we have. (Hebrews 13.5)

Comparatitus is dangerous… and unless we determine daily to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, we’ll succumb to it.  Maybe in a big way.

Titus 2 tells us boldly and plainly what we are (as Christian sisters) to do or to learn to do.  But, above all, we must be about the business of daily yielding our hearts to God, daily following Him and trusting in the promises of His Word — not comparing ourselves to others — but simply living in obedience to Him and His calling on our lives.  And He has individually called us — each one!  This is good news!  This is marvelous!

The cure for comparatitus is faith and trust: seeking to know and please the Lord.  We read in 2Timothy 2.15  “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”

Be done with that lesser thing!  Be done with comparatitus. (And, have a cheerful day)

May you always be blessed.

 

Doing a new thing

Based on past performance, many of us can attest that doing a new thing is hard.   This is where some of us fall off the cliff — or don’t even try!  It takes determination to not allow past performance to thwart us from trying or doing a new thing!

Doing a new thing is tough.  Especially when that new thing takes will power or money — few of us have much of either.  And,  as we age, we have this daunting fear that past results (things that were good before they stopped being good) don’t necessarily mean that today’s performance will yield the same success results.  :o(

I think the devil delights in our doubts as much a he delights in our failings… surely he does when we doubt God or doubt our faith.  But he also delights in sabotaging our efforts seek the Lord and to do good.  Sometimes he’s successful at both.  We mustn’t doubt for a moment that we do have an enemy that hates for us to yield to God, hates for us to seek the Lord — especially seeking the Lord early – hates for us to be faithful to the calling of the Lord in our lives.

I say this because I want to suggest that any attempt to do good or to do a new thing must be bathed in prayer and executed with the blessing of the Lord.  I think failing these two things is what ultimately leads to our failure in doing that new thing — and, certainly, doing it well.

Take daily Bible reading or early rising or prayer or fasting, for example,  if we attempt any in our own strength,  we’ll fail — but, we know from Scripture,  when we commit to seeking the Lord — His will and His righteousness, He will work in and through us — even though it may not look to us (at the time) to be working!

Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in Him;
and He shall bring it to pass.” -Psalm 37.5

So, as we launch out into the vast expanse of this unblemished year, this uncharted territory, we can be assured that the Lord is already here and He does, indeed, have a marvelous plan for each of us.  And all the things that face us, all the trials and temptations, all the joys and sorrows, all the successes and failures do not — will not — escape His gaze.  He is already there.

Then thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying,
This is the way, walk ye in it, that ye not turn to the right hand
and that ye not turn to the left hand.  -Isaiah 30.21

As we seek to do a new thing, we must first seek His face, take His hand and and wait! and see! if that’s where He wants to lead us.  I truly see Him doing a new thing… I want to follow Him in it… this is the first day of all our tomorrows…  O, may we do a new thing… in faith!

Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth;
shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness,
and rivers in the desert. -Isaiah 43.19

the endearing faces

I stared blindly at the ceiling as I lay in bed and thought of the evening I’d just spent.  Sleep didn’t seem to come easily. Or soon.  I couldn’t stop thinking of them… their tender, lineless faces, bright smiles, dark hair and the playfulness of youth in their eyes.  And, I couldn’t help but — for a moment —  wish that I were once again in the place they were last night — once again a young mother with seemingly limitless opportunities before me — a young mother with a vast clean slate before me.

As I stood there sharing with them, glancing down at my notes and back up to their faces, every now and then I would catch a glimpse of a smile or a nod or an inquisitive look and I felt inadequate to convey what I knew must be conveyed to them.  O, how I prayed that, if nothing else, I’d at least give encouragement to press on — to not give up.  So I began by sharing some thoughts on the life of Elijah and how the Lord fed him — sustained him, spoke to him — even though he seemed to often face situations that were too great for him, but the Lord fed him and he carried on the strength of that meat…

I’ll write more about some gleanings from 1 Kings another time.

So, I was sharing things I’m glad we’ve done, decisions we’ve made as a family — as a homeschooling family — through the years.  I intended to share things I regretted doing or not doing, but as I was preparing my notes, I realized that having an old mom stand before them with a list of regrets was not going to help them very much — and it certainly wasn’t going to help me at all.  I already spend too much time at the regret counter as it is.  But, on the other hand, I had to share some of the shortcomings — and, as you know, there have been many through the years — so that they could see more of my heart, God’s mercy and His grace and where I was coming from when I was exhorting them to press on.  I referenced Philippians 3.14-15

All day as I’ve worked in our home, worked at the kitchen table on math and spelling, reading and writing, I’ve  been seeing the young mother’s tender faces before me and I’ve thought on how it was in the beginning for me… the beginning of homeschooling, the clean slate days, the: We can be/do/study anything! days.

It was so impressive that they were so eager to learn — the purposeful intent of their lives.  I so wish that I had been as they.  Many had very young children, some not even “school-age,” yet, there they were: already deeply committed to the task at hand,  gathering information, tools and inspiration for the road ahead.

Knowing this, I felt then — and I feel more so, now —  a very strong conviction to be careful with their thoughts, careful with their questions and respectful of their plans.  What an honour it was to share with them things — ideas, suggestions, helps —  that just might become part of the foundation of their homes.  I hope that some of our experiences might help them and that some of the  “things we’re glad we did” just might become some of their “things we’re glad we did.”   And, perhaps, someday one of those mothers will stand before a group of beautiful, bright, lineless faced, eager young mothers starting out on the path… and she’ll be able to encourage them to press on… because she did.

Another homeschooling year

So, yes… another homeschooling year has begun.  We’ve already had the usual variety of commitments — planned and unplanned, absences and extra-curricular activities: some sick, some tardy, some cutting class (uh, that would be two of the teachers :-O ), etc., etc.

  • Three days into the new school year:  We’ve already had to revise our expectations — both raising and lowering them regarding courses of study and assignments for different students.  We’ve had to do this many times through 22 years of homeschooling.  We seem to forget this every year!
  • Three days into the new school year:  We’ve discovered we have too many of some and too few of other materials we need for each days’ work for each student.  Again… this is a repeat of the previous 22 years.  Someday we will “get it!”
  • Three days into the new school year:  The teachers have forgotten, missed, or been late to the kitchen table class.  Ditto, the students.
  • Three days into the new school year: For what can be accomplished in any given amount of time, we’ve had to revise our expectations.  Up and down.
  • Three days into the new school year:  We’re saying:  we are off to a great start! This is going to be a wonderful school year: we can just tell!!