Maybe you saw my thoughts yesterday where I wrote about Comparisonitis or making comparisons and how easy it is to become ensnared by this. Comparing ourselves to others, comparing our situations to other’s situations (or our perception of their situations), our accomplishments (or lack thereof) to other’s accomplishments (as we perceive them to be). Then we spend precious moments or days or years mulling over what we have or haven’t done (right), what we do or don’t have, what we have to deal with — compared to others. [Late edit to add a link to another article I wrote regarding Titus2 blogs, groups and teachings — I call it: Compare-a-Titus. There are so many comparisons we make are often bogged down by the lack we often feel as “TitusTwo” women. You can read it here.]
When these thoughts come up, I know I need to flee these thoughts. Flee! And quickly.
I’ve come to realize that when I compare myself with others or my whatever’s with other women’s whatevers, I inadvertently make them the standard to which I seek to attain. I make them the guide and standard of my life instead of making the Lord, His Word, His way, and His truth for me the guide and standard of my life.
We know that medically or pathologically, “itis” is inflammation, which, in an organ of our body, is a bad thing and we seek quick attention to reverse or eliminate it as it’s usually painful and damaging. But we don’t often do this in our own lives when it comes to inflammation of thoughts or feelings. We often, instead, harbour the thoughts that brought on the inflammation, we feed them and encourage them by continuing to validate them. I do this sometimes — though I know it’s not good — not good for me, and not good for my home and family. In this way, I unwittingly spread my “itis” to them — they know something’s not right, but can’t see what it is. That’s why (in part) it’s so critical for me to flee making comparisons before they become in me: comparisonitis.
Incidentally, by continually making comparisons (especially if voiced), I validate the activity (and further cement it in my emotional pathways). I model it for my children and set them up for their own comparsonitis. In addition, I elevate another’s situation or accomplishments or possessions over my own. Again, validating making comparisons for my children to do the same — if I don’t want this attitude/behaviour for me, I sure don’t want it for them.
So when it comes around, I have to make the conscious decision to flee comparing before it wiggles its way deep into my thoughts. When I see that I can’t do something like, or a wells as, another person does them, I need to just be content that I do what I can do and I can choose to rejoice at their fine work or rejoice with them over their accomplishment. Then, my heart is warmed bcz it’s all about them and not about me. The more I do this through the years, the more easily and quickly comes the response of rejoicing.
When I feel like I never do enough, right enough, good enough, whatever enough, I have to see that as an alert! Compared to what? Compared to who? Did the Lord tell me that or did I take my eyes off Him and fix my gaze on someone or something else? Do I not have something I feel I should have? Is He not enough? Has He not provided exactly what I need for each day? Has He forgotten something? Or — have I run ahead, doing something He never directed me to do or in a way He never directed me to do it? Did I get out of order my reason for doing something? Have I made my life hard by doing something in a way He didn’t intend for me (but I was trying to do it like So-‘n-so)?
Discontent is tremendous fodder for comparisonitis. And vice versa.
I continually rehearse what He has done, for I know and have seen(!) that no matter what comes, I can truly trust Him and lean on His promises.
But he knoweth the way that I take:
when he hath tried me,
I shall come forth as gold.
–Job 23:10Job 23:10
English: World English Bible - WEB
10 But he knows the way that I take. When he has tried me, I shall come forth like gold.