Tag: Family

Fruitful

As the fruit and nuts and leaves fall from the trees around our yard, I can’t help but notice the poignant reminder that our lives, too, have seasons — and they change.  As I reflect on this, I am reminded that the most fruitful season may not appear to be the currant one – even though it may appear so with the fruit that is dropping into the baskets at this time.

I’m looking ahead to the winter when the trees have no leaves or blossoms or blooms and I’m praying this time will be the most fruitful of all.

Fruitful:
a: yielding or producing fruit.
b: conducive to an abundant yield.

So, I’m in prayer that the Lord will continue to shape my life that it will be conducive to yielding abundant fruit.  It may not seem like it from season to season –or even in the moment– but that’s where the being “conducive to an abundant yield” comes in — and that’s where prayer and fasting/waiting on the Lord comes in.

The prunings, the waste, broken limbs, the honeybees, the drought, the water, the shade and, yes, the fruit of my yesterdays all give me great hope for tomorrow.

I’m thankful for the pictures the Lord continually presents me… as He often speaks to me in or through the things He’s put in or taken out of my life.  I’ve seen our children and grandchildren swing from the branches of the willow tree outside our bedroom window and I consider the strength of a tree.  They’ve eaten the fruit of the trees in the garden… I consider the value of a well tended tree.  They’ve seen years where there was no fruit to gather in the baskets… sobered at the value of a well tended tree.

Sometimes there’s no one to gather the fruit — no one to appreciate the fruit… and it falls to the ground and becomes part of the soil.

Mary Thoughts Martha Hands

I just came across a little note in my basket… and thought, this is just what I’m needing!  The reminder to have a Mary heart and a Martha mind was the gist of the note.  I’m personalizing it a bit to be: Mary thoughts and Martha hands.   I must be in the Word and in song in order that my heart and mind are stayed on heavenly things.  I must be in the Word and in song that my hands and plans are stayed on heavenly things — working at or accomplishing good things.

This is such a needful  reminder that in all my Martha-ing around our home, I must cultivate, guard and increase my Mary-ing!    I tend to get sidetracked, and as I get busy – I become myopic and outcome oriented far too often!  I’ve come to understand through a series of different experiences that I tend to focus on the job at hand instead of the people around me.  This is something I daily working to change — daily seeking to re-work in my life and home. I must stop and be Mary — I must stop and regroup remembering that in all my Martha-ing, I need be be Mary-ing along the way.  I often forget to be resting at the feet of Jesus in my work – resting at the feet of Jesus in my planning – resting at the feet of Jesus in my mothering.

Mary and Martha — in case you’re wondering at the reference of this,  it’s Luke 10.38-42

Now it came to pass, as they went, that He entered into a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha received Him into her house.  And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word.   But Martha was cumbered about in much serving and came to Him and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Bid her therefore that she help me.   And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things;  but only one thing is necessary, and Mary has chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

Instead of integrating work and worship, I often live as if the two are different compartments of homemaking.  I need to remember and guard the fact that work and worship must blend — that my work is a service of worship!  Thus: A Mary Heart and a Martha mind – Mary thoughts and Martha hands.

And so when the days are long and the tasks are many, the family is scattered and the schedules are hectic… my focus mustn’t change — my heart mustn’t change — my thoughts must remain the same: He alone is my joy and strength, He alone is my hope and my song.  So, no matter what’s going on around me, I must cultivate this by daily investing time in the Word and in prayer, daily seeking the Lord’s divine guidance and presence — daily seeking and listening to the Voice of the Lord… following His Word, rehearsing His promises, turning away from the lies of the enemy and listening to Truths in song.

May the Lord bless you in all your Martha-ing with a Mary heart and mind.

 

the endearing faces

I stared blindly at the ceiling as I lay in bed and thought of the evening I’d just spent.  Sleep didn’t seem to come easily. Or soon.  I couldn’t stop thinking of them… their tender, lineless faces, bright smiles, dark hair and the playfulness of youth in their eyes.  And, I couldn’t help but — for a moment —  wish that I were once again in the place they were last night — once again a young mother with seemingly limitless opportunities before me — a young mother with a vast clean slate before me.

As I stood there sharing with them, glancing down at my notes and back up to their faces, every now and then I would catch a glimpse of a smile or a nod or an inquisitive look and I felt inadequate to convey what I knew must be conveyed to them.  O, how I prayed that, if nothing else, I’d at least give encouragement to press on — to not give up.  So I began by sharing some thoughts on the life of Elijah and how the Lord fed him — sustained him, spoke to him — even though he seemed to often face situations that were too great for him, but the Lord fed him and he carried on the strength of that meat…

I’ll write more about some gleanings from 1 Kings another time.

So, I was sharing things I’m glad we’ve done, decisions we’ve made as a family — as a homeschooling family — through the years.  I intended to share things I regretted doing or not doing, but as I was preparing my notes, I realized that having an old mom stand before them with a list of regrets was not going to help them very much — and it certainly wasn’t going to help me at all.  I already spend too much time at the regret counter as it is.  But, on the other hand, I had to share some of the shortcomings — and, as you know, there have been many through the years — so that they could see more of my heart, God’s mercy and His grace and where I was coming from when I was exhorting them to press on.  I referenced Philippians 3.14-15

All day as I’ve worked in our home, worked at the kitchen table on math and spelling, reading and writing, I’ve  been seeing the young mother’s tender faces before me and I’ve thought on how it was in the beginning for me… the beginning of homeschooling, the clean slate days, the: We can be/do/study anything! days.

It was so impressive that they were so eager to learn — the purposeful intent of their lives.  I so wish that I had been as they.  Many had very young children, some not even “school-age,” yet, there they were: already deeply committed to the task at hand,  gathering information, tools and inspiration for the road ahead.

Knowing this, I felt then — and I feel more so, now —  a very strong conviction to be careful with their thoughts, careful with their questions and respectful of their plans.  What an honour it was to share with them things — ideas, suggestions, helps —  that just might become part of the foundation of their homes.  I hope that some of our experiences might help them and that some of the  “things we’re glad we did” just might become some of their “things we’re glad we did.”   And, perhaps, someday one of those mothers will stand before a group of beautiful, bright, lineless faced, eager young mothers starting out on the path… and she’ll be able to encourage them to press on… because she did.

Mother’s Happy Day 2011

To my precious children… how strange it is to be apart from you this day.  How interesting that the Lord would, in His wisdom, goodness and mercy, have us to be a million miles apart on this day.  But as I have held you in my heart from the day you were born, so also, I hold you in my heart this day.  And I am missing you terribly.

But I also know that the Lord is in the details, having orchestrated this whole trip, this is His doing and it is marvelous in our eyes.  I genuinely rest in complete joy and assurance that you are in the mighty hand of the Lord: that He has blessed, redeemed, equipped and filled you, each one with His Holy Spirit and that none can pluck you out of His hand.  I am comforted that you are competent beyond my comprehension and blessed beyond my greatest  hope and vision for your lives.  I am, above all women, most blessed.

I pray that I might be to you even a particle of the great joy and blessing you are to me.  I pray to be even a glimmer of the hope you are in my life and I pray to be even a shadow of the good things the Lord has done, and will do, in and through you.

So, this mother’s happy day 2011, I ache missing you — often picturing each of your beautiful faces.  And I once again thank you for the great privilege it is and has been to bear you, to care for you, to pray for you, to know you and to look forward to the days ahead for each one of you.

Thank you all for your patience with me, for your forgiveness for my many failings and shortcomings – for my shortsightedness and distractions.   I sincerely thank you for your forgiveness.  Thank you for the encouragement you have been both for me and to me.  Thank you for bearing with me in the recent past as choppy waters have flooded my life/our lives, actions and thoughts.  I’m grateful to you, each one, for standing with me all these years… but most of all for the honour it is and has been to be your mama.

I praise the Lord for the opportunities of your lives… and for the undeserved, immeasurable and inestimable blessings in mine.

And… yes, you can go open your gifts.  God bless you more and more. Happy mother’s happy day to each one of you.

with love and thanks,
mama

And ye know in all your hearts and in all your souls,
that not one thing hath failed of all the good things
which the LORD your God spake concerning you;
all are come to pass unto you,
and not one thing hath failed thereof.

Birthday Princess

Today is not my birthday.  Yesterday was not my birthday.  The day before yesterday… was.  Yet, I woke up yesterday expecting that it should still be my birthday – you know,  treats, party hats and special treatment.  I call this the birthday-princess mentality.  It happens.

The birthday princess mentality is kin to other princess mentalities — you know, the date-princess, the shopping-princess, the napping-princess.  You get the idea.  It’s as if whenever some delightful thing/event/outing happens, it ought to continue happening, I mean, I am the birthday (or whatever) princess after all.

I woke up this morning to the reality of Monday, and like most Monday’s, I felt the night’s sleep was entirely too brief and the morning came far too soon.  The morning was ushering in the day that held much to be done.  I knew much was on the list of to-do’s — but I was still feeling  too-special-to-work — and then came the nearly startling reality: What? It’s not my birthday?!?!

I must accept the reality that birthdays are a once-a-year deal.  Regrettably, it’s only once a year the birthday princess can wear her tiara (and get away with it).  At Claire’s the other night (on my birthday) I was looking over the displays of barrettes and hairbands and noticed a beautiful diamond tiara.  Setting my handbag down and adjusting the tiara on my head, I whispered, psssssst,  to my husband and daughter in another part of the small shoppe.  They were amused.  They did not buy me the beautiful tiara.

I knew at that moment I had few precious hours left to be the birthday princess.  Even still, no tiara.

Just to clarify, I’m not talking about the princess complex (though I think we all occasionally have, or suffer, the princess-complex from time to time). The princess-complex is that overarching need to be found desirable.   The desire to be the darling — the center of attention.  Or, maybe for others (and I’m not referring to this either), the Cinderella complex – you know, the strong need/wish that someone will come rescuing from whatever oppressive/poor/neglected/unloved current plight — that surely there’s a prince out there that will make all the troubles of the world go away and life will be convenient, rich and effortless.

No, the birthday-princess mentality is much simpler that all that.  It’s just the delight in being made to feel special for the day.  The normal routines are sort of set aside.   Maybe that’s why it’s so fun.  Sort of like dressing up, eating fine foods at a fancy restaurant – eating a delicious meal you don’t plan for, shop for, cook or clean up after.  For most of us, it’s not real life — for most of us, the other side is more our daily life — you know, the planning, cleaning, washing, cooking, serving and cleaning up the kitchen afterward.   So it’s the sweet stuff  that makes for the birthday princess dreams.

In reality, some of us can’t really take too much of the birthday princess pampering.  I know it’s usually way too much for me to have the extra attention — to be on the receiving end of the service.  Even more, it’s hard for me not to keep doing or want to keep doing chores.

Our daughter, Kathryn, prepared the most delicious meal the other night for my ‘family birthday’ dinner.   So many delicious foods – she made beautiful hors d’Oeuvres,  salad, roast and baked potatoes; the softest  fresh potato rolls… Omy – sooo good!  And to finish the meal, she served a delicious dessert.  She’d even gotten flowers!!   She made the whole birthday meal look and taste beautiful — it was all delightful.  And as if that weren’t enough, she also prepared an exquisite birthday breakfast for the whole family here the next morning — that was in addition to  a birthday coffee and a special birthday dessert made for our church meal.  All the while she was preparing to go out of town for a couple of weeks — but that didn’t hinder her generosity.

I loved watching her work/create all the different dishes.  Though she often shooed me out of the kitchen, I found it so hard to stand by and just watch.  So, whenever I could, I washed a bowl or scrubbed a pan… trying to shadow her as she cooked.  She told me, no, no, no… it’s your special day – you’re the birthday princess!

And then it dawned on me:  Yes! Yes, I was born to be a princess.  But I was also born to work.

And I’m so glad.

 

 

A special birthday

When Timothy was born, there was a brief hush over the delivery room — enough time for me to realize there must be a problem.  Fearing the worst, I asked my husband if the baby had died.  No, he said, he’s going to be fine.

As Timothy was born, the doctor could see that the cord was wrapped around his next and as he  loosened it, it was obvious that there was also a complete knot in his umbilical cord the hush was their surprise that he was just quiet and still — completely fine.  The team of attendants appeared to be amazed.  The doctor inserted an instrument into the knot, shaking it loose, and then continued to gently massage his little body.  He told me that that knot had been there for many months as that “little guy” must’ve turned himself around and swum through the loop of the cord.

The next morning, as the doctor was making his rounds, he came in to check on me and baby Timothy.  You are so lucky, he said.  And I told him, no… no, I’m really very blessed.  God has been so good to me.  I knew that then.  I know that now.  Out the window that morning I could see a lone daffodil in a planter… the ‘tea-cup’ flower had just opened.  It was a bright encouragement to me — and the site of blooming daffodils continues to bless me over the years – for that  and so many other event’s meanings.

And so, today, twenty three years later I’m still in awe at what the Lord has done in the life of that baby – now young man.  There have been many instances through the years where the Lord clearly marked his life — times of sickness, times of great spiritual growth, times of God’s clear hand of guidance, direction and protection.  From a very young age, this young man had a clear and present awareness of the Lord’s call on his life – a matter that Timothy continually shared with others.

And he has answered that call and for many years has walked by faith in the ministry of the Gospel.

I have no greater joy than
to hear that my children
walk in truth.
3 John 1.4

It is with great joy that we celebrate this son’s birthday today — and, happily, we’ll even celebrate it with him this year as it’s been many years since he’s been home on his birthday!    He flies in late tonight!

We’re thankful the Lord has used him so sweetly in our family… that He’s used him in Ghana and now in Mexico.  Today we’re reminiscing as we recall the many blessings of the Lord through the years, the many ways God’s worked on his behalf, many ways God has uniquely gifted and provided.  We thank the Lord for the many times He’s healed Timothy from various sicknesses, from many bouts of malaria and the many adventures God’s brought him through.  We also recall, with tears of joy and humble thanksgiving, the great miracle of healing the Lord gave Timothy last summer.

Timothy is a joy to me… to us all.  For all of this — for the gift of his life, for him, for all these miracles — we are so grateful to the Lord.

 

Autumn’s ushering in Winter

It’s sure chilly-chilly here tonight!!  The forecast even includes snow!  Suddenly it seems to be just fine to give up wishing for warmer days and working in the garden for the year — for now, baking season is here!   And around our home it’s time for “special requests.”  By this, I mean that it’s time for everyone to submit this year’s favourites for me to bake — or, better said, this year’s update to the list of things “we have to have ________” for Thanksgiving and Christmas!

Confession:  I simply cannot keep track of who likes what and who doesn’t like what for the traditional Thanksgiving meal.  So, I decided a few years ago to sort of announce the menu (though the menu doesn’t change a whole lot) and that’s when I really find out this or that child doesn’t really like this or that menu item.  And then, too, I have a few others who say something like:  we have to have_______!

Some recipes never change and some have sort of evolved as children have aged, tastes have matured and new favourites have come into play.  Some things I don’t make bcz they just don’t taste the same as they used to taste — for example, my dear mother-in-law always used to make the most delicious layered jello salad for both Thanksgiving and Christmas… she’s living far away now and so that dish is just one of those sweet lingering memories.

Some of the must have’s include turkey — of course, fresh cranberry relish, russian cream, potato rolls, sweet potato casserole and… pies.  Lots of pumpkin pies — otherwise, what would they eat for breakfast on Thanksgiving morning??  😉 Each year I’ve been working at making sure there are lots of things from the garden for the Thanksgiving meal.  So, this year from the garden we’ll have carrots, potatoes, pumpkin, pickles, raspberries to top the russian cream, apples & walnuts in the salad and pies.  I’ve been making walnut pies using a standard pecan pie recipe.

Since we have walnut trees and a bazillion walnuts, it doesn’t seem all that prudent to buy pecans — though I must say pecans are pretty tasty!  So… Monday’s the first “pie day.”   Besides those, this year I’ll be adding Swedish Pear and Almond Cream Cake and Hazelnut pie to the dessert menu.  We didn’t have much of a blueberry crop this year and though the blackberries were plentiful this year, we were attending to other things and the blackberries didn’t get picked — so, no blueberry pie, no blackberry pie this year.

I’m so looking forward to this week in the kitchen… thankful for so many things… and the beautiful music in the background.

But another confession:  I do not – do not – like the smell of turkey cooking in the oven.  Or turkey broth simmering on the stove.  But I like cold turkey the day after Thanksgiving.    And simmering cinnamon, cloves and oranges make the kitchen smell soooo sweet.


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seventeen years

teacuppamela.pngIn a moment, in a twinkling of an eye…  it hardly seems possible that seventeen years have passed by since our seventh child was born.  How marvelous the Lord has been to bless us with this son.  How sweet the Lord is.  I am taking the time to write about this tonight bcz over the years I’ve talked to many, many women who’re ambivalent to yield their childbearing to the will and determination of the Lord.

I’ve noticed there’s sort of a point of questioning family size at odd times.  I’ll give you some examples.  Most Christian families would say and agree that the Lord always provides.  And then, most families, at some point or another, face financial difficulties.  Faith is shaken and they question the Lord’s providence.   And their family size.

Another example of questioning might come along with aging.   Birthdays can be odd.  One birthday may come and go with no real fanfare or notice.  But add a zero to a higher first digit and odd things happen. I’ve noticed that twenty-nine year old women, as do thirty-nine year old women, have a crisis of belief as the next birthday approaches — sort of like moving the large weight on the scale at the doctor’s office.  Advancing age (remember 30 is *old* to many women) makes some women feel like they’re past their prime and they’re too old to have children.  These are usually the ages when men and women start to calculate what their own age will be when their last child is twenty.  And, face it, to a thirty year old or to a forty year old, fifty or sixty years old seems quite ancient!

Another point of questioning family size usually comes along at another odd time.  Odd numbered children seem to really grab the attention of mothers and dads.  They might think, ah, we have two… what’s this?  Three children?  Or they might have four children and a fifth is on the way — that seems staggering to some.  But I’ve noticed, in particular, that the tipping point for most families is that seventh child.  That seventh child ushers in a whole new dynamic.   Perhaps it’s bcz at seven children, the size of the family vehicle really becomes an issue.  Bedding and bedroom arrangement becomes an issue.  Seating at the dining table becomes an issue (as did going from four to five and so on).   Sets of dishes, sets of silverware and a host of other things change when a family of eight becomes a family of nine as the seventh child is born.

It seems, though, that it was at the point of the pregnancy and birth of the seventh child, that we seemed to have come to both a very strong conviction and resolute conclusion that the Lord was (and is) Lord of the womb and that it was His to open or to close, His to provide or withhold, His to determine and it was ours to yield to Him.

It was the precious gift and birth of our seventh child that really did resolve for me the questions and concerns about the present and future days being solely in the Hand of the Lord.  So, then, it was in faith that we resolved to not question the Lord or to feel apologetic for His dealing in our life.  I think it was at that point that I knew that I knew He was working in a unique way and that had He chosen one or none or seven children — He, alone, was Lord and He, alone, had the preeminence as the merciful, only faithful, only wise God.

The morning the baby was born, Wes named our son, Stephen — the naming of each of the children is a story for another time — and he prayed that as he grew, God would mightily use this young man for His purposes and that whatever happened to Stephen in his life, may his life be fully yielded to the Lord and may he stand up for the Lord, as a minister of the gospel — faithful to the end.

How grateful I am to the merciful Lord for the precious gift of Stephen, our seventh child, born November 2nd… seventeen years ago.   We’ve surely seen that the Lord’s will, done His way, does not lack His supply.

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Stones

teacuppamela.pngSignificant to me are the milestones in my life that were either turning points or celebrations or decisions.  Some of the turning points were simply changes in direction of thought or action; simple things like: from this day forward, I will________.   I have marked many of the “I will’s” in my Bible or on stones in our garden or in journals I’ve kept over the years.  Sometimes I didn’t realize that specific decisions would have such strong or lasting implications—nor, did I realize that God would use decisions as springboards for others.  But I do now.  Only looking back do I see how some of the actions or decisions were used; decisions that were really insignificant at the time were used as the basis for some great changes or great work.

I recall the day I decided to always —everyday— without fail: make my bed the very first thing in the morning.  Insignificant, maybe, but the LORD used a woman (when our first two babies were very small) to help me through a difficult time.   It was that help that would lead to countless other personal disciplines and/or decisions.   I felt overwhelmed.  Yeah—I know—only two children at the time! Phew!  But in my state at that time, I was overwhelmed and under-inspired.   There were very few “hands-on” helpers in my life at that time bcz of where we lived  and the work that it required and bcz of my mindset, I suppose.  But then the LORD began to show me that there *were* helpers, there *were* encouragers, and He was walking with me — I just needed to open my eyes to those facts and I needed take what was being offered to me — and to stop looking for or wishing for something else — whether it be advice, actual physical help or simply to watch what they were doing and *emulate* that in my own life.  It was a tremendous period of time — it was a turning point in my life — a major turning point.

Another turning point was when I realized that God had a marvelous plan for my life and that He was and had already been working everything together for good (Romans 8.28) and that no matter what things looked like or how they seemed, He was in control and all those things mattered to Him and would be for my good.  I couldn’t always see it.  I didn’t have faith to believe it—but then I began to pray for faith—faith to believe what I couldn’t see and faith to trust what I couldn’t understand.  It was in those days that God would begin to show me a glimpse of His purpose for my life as a wife and mother.  I knew at that time that He was truly LORD of my life, LORD of my marriage, LORD of my home and LORD of my womb.   Even if I wavered in faith, God never changed—He was and has been utterly faithful.  (Romans 3.3 “For what if some did not believe? shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect?”)

Then, another stone was set in place… the stone of faith.  There was another turning point time when I knew that the LORD has His hand on me—on my life—on our family.  I don’t mean that in a particular sense of a mark or a calling or whatever.  I simply mean that it was a definite time: a demonstration of His “ownership,” if you will, of all that we were or would ever be.  He called us to faith.

Hebrews 11.6 “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

It became apparent that He would continue to work in many similar ways through the years.  He would bring about circumstances that would both challenge and inspire our faith — circumstances that would set us in awe of His magnificent glory as He demonstrated His “watch-care” or provision in our lives.  “Last-minute” provisions became or are so “normal” or frequent, that I feel like I practically stand at the window watching for His provision.  I know my help/our help only is of His Hand.  All the weights of the bag are His work—He alone is the balance.  He is utterly faithful and the pile of stones marking His faithfulness is becoming as a mountain at the gate of my heart.

He taught us to walk and work in a manner as to totally yield our hearts to Him—trusting for every day, every provision, every child, every need, every dollar, every sunrise, every sunset.  In our marriage, He’s brought to our remembrance our commitment of trust—trust in God and trust in each other.  The stones in my rings are as stones of a monument of trust—no matter how things look, seem or feel at the time.  God has worked and reworked our hearts to be to each other what God has designed.   It is in faith that we demonstrate this toward one another: love followed, emotion followed, romance followed and faith is strengthened by years.  Reading through the Word and coming to the book of the Song of Solomon, I was reminded over and over again that married love is timeless; the wonder of it being old is that it can yet feel fresh and new as Spring and yet as solid and secure as an old oak.  The diamond in my ring reminds me of the strength of God and the gold: His refining power.  The eleven different stones in another ring  I wear are constant reminders of the great blessing each of our children are — and the enduring faithfulness of the LORD to us and to each of them.

I have stones — rocks — in different gardens around our home.  There are dates or sayings or notes on the different rocks.  Now, rarely does a child come to me and say: what mean ye by these stones, mama?   But every once in awhile one of the children asks the significance of a particular quote or the meaning of a few words printed on stones or rocks in the garden.  The children love seeing their names and birthdates on stones.  They love seeing dates on stones — anniversaries of significant dates and events.  I do this so that they won’t forget.  I do this so *I* won’t forget.

More stones have been added this year than in any of the previous years… so that we won’t forget… the faithfulness of God.
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