Homemaking – Page 6 – The Welcome Home

housekeeping

It might appear by the looks of some people’s desks or cabinets (or garages) that they are disorganized or messy… and yet, sometimes these are the most productive, organized people around. They seem to be able to set their hands on any needed item at a moment’s notice. They, even though it might appear otherwise, know right where everything is.

Orderliness. I have attempted this my whole life. I am not orderly… not really. It may seem so, but, as a general rule, I’m just too abstract random. I hate this flaw… no, wait, who has a flaw they like? Anyway… every autumn I attempt to set our house in order—order for this house anyway. You know… the sort of order that might not look picture perfect – but everything has a place and that, in turn, prompts me/us to put things away after we use them. Now… one thing I have to guard against is comparativitis. If I let myself, even for a moment, compare my order to another’s order, well… the battle is lost. I have friends whose homes are so orderly, yesterday’s paper is already in the recycling bin. Last season’s clothing is already folded and stored away. There is only one bottle of shampoo and one bottle of conditioner in the shower and they have laundry sorted into a divided hamper. This week’s dinner plans are set, the food is purchased and the vegetables are chopped. The garden tools are sharpened and oiled. Comparativitis could just destroy me… but I have decided to just rejoice for them, learn from them and, well… just work at getting each day’s needs taken care of… and, as always, wipe the table before the farina dries and get the milk jug back into the fridge before it gets warm.

So back to ordering. Setting things in order also gives me an opportunity to assess or take a sort of inventory and to assess things to see what needs replacing or repairing or whatever. Especially since we homeschool and have a business that tends to be seasonal. I’m learning through the years that I can help myself and my husband a whole lot more if I’m conscientious about purchases and possessions and then, concerning children: much more is caught than verbally taught. So… regardless of my personal “bent,” I need to live in a manner that I would want to be emulated by them. They’ll naturally gravitate toward their particular ‘bent’ but I can sure influence the direction of the bent. I really need to keep this in mind more and more.

There is a curve though. Today I discovered a problem with ordering things in a new way/location. Things get lost! I lost my cell phone. I couldn’t find it yesterday and needed to get going and so I just quit looking for it. When Timothy called — a number of times — he wondered why I wasn’t answering or returning calls. Then I thought of my oft used solution and wondered how people manage with only one phone (line). What do they use to locate their phone? Do they go to a neighbor and ask for a call and then run back home to listen for the ringing? Well, After searching for one (of three) the cordless phones, I called my phone… as I heard it ringing, I confidently clicked off the phone in my hand thinking I would instantly set my hands on the cell phone. I still couldn’t locate it. I redialed. Still not seeing the ringing phone. One more time. Voilá… I found the phone. In the back of the freshly cleaned cabinet… just where I… how’d that get there in the plastic container under the clips, barrettes and covered rubberbands? I was cleaning! Ah… I remember now. Amelia was my helper.

So today, in addition to making some peach jam and pear butter, I’ll be attempting to clean another couple of cupboards… and tomorrow I’ll do the same and so on… throughout the next few weeks. I’m told we’re in for a nice “Indian summer” here in the Pacific Northwest… something about the abundance of spiders (and there is!!). Well, whatever the case, warm weather by any name would be delightful. Soon enough though, history reminds me, the daylight will be shortened considerably… sunny days are numbered and the brightness will have to come from indoors. I’m sincerely attempting to delight in this this year.

Comparativitis

There’s a strange phenomena that happens when people talk about families, or rather, family size. Many times through the years women have commented to me that they “only” have ______ children; or that they have a small family or whatever. I am quick to diffuse the comments or quick to turn the conversation to matters at hand. We might’ve been talking about laundry or mealtime or whatever, and the conversation turns to amount of laundry or size of pots and pans, etc., etc. I quick attempt to thwart quantifying the value or size of the job based on number of children bcz, so often, women with fewer (than?) children discount their work when they’re talking with a mother with (___?) more children. I hate for women to feel less or think less of themselves bcz they have fewer children than I do.

I think God, for whatever reason, may give “more” children to one family than He does another, or He exaggerates some families or some situations for His purposes. Believe me, for the life of me I do not know why — but I know He does. Just like He exaggerates health or wealth or knowledge or whatever in some families/individuals more than others. And just like there will always be someone in your life that has more money, brains, athletic ability, talent, possessions, square-footage (house size) and/or education, friends, or beauty than you, there will always be someone with more children than you (or me). But we must guard against “comparativitis.” Comparativitis is such a dangerous thing… it’s close kin to covetousness and closer kin to discontent — two biggies that will destroy you (and me).

So this morning I got to thinking about this… yep, spurred on be the browsing the news and seeing the latest addition to the Dugger family. Instantly, comparativitis washed over me. I thought (for a moment) that I had a lot of laundry to do and the dishwasher still needed to be unloaded and the floor’s a mess and there are a few stacks of stuff on the stairs to be carried up and I was giving some heart to heart directions to a few boys who needed to be sure and carry down their laundry *every* day so that I won’t have such an ~~odiferous~~ ~~intoxicating~~ aromatic experience at the laundry area. As I read the latest news, I thought… what in the world have I got to fret about. I do not have s-e-v-e-n-t-e-e-n children under n-i-n-e-t-e-e-n years old. It’s always sensational to read their stories, to see the beautiful family and consider how it all works out. Around here, we’re wowed by 4 under 4 or 6 under 7 or whatever. And then we compare. We might be tempted to compare our situation with Michelle Dugger’s… we might instantly think: well, if I had that house, or if my husband made X number of dollars a month or if I physically could, I would have that many children too! I’ve heard women compare themselves to her — only, in this way: O, I probably would’ve had X number of children, too, but I breastfed all mine for X number of years; or, I wonder why she had them all so close or whatever. See? comparativitis is such a damaging thing. It brings such condemnation — either to ourselves or to the one to whom we’re comparing ourselves. Isn’t the better part of valor, certainly of wisdom, to just say or think: God bless her. God bless all the mama’s. God bless all those who never had an opportunity to carry a child… in arm, to term or even conception.

If we’re going to spend any time today comparing… let’s not compare from a critical or even from a defeatist attitude… If we’re going to compare, let’s compare notes… let’s see what’s going on and see what we can do to improve our situation, our home, our outlook or whatever else is concerning us. Let’s be glad… glad for wherever we are, whatever God’s allowed us this day. Let’s consider what we might learn from one another. Let’s consider Jesus: who for the joy that was set before Him…

It’s idea time…

Good morning girls…
I received a letter this morning from a representative of At a Glance (day planners) and he alerted me to some “broken links” I have on one of the homemaking pages. Ah-me…….. a never ending process of keeping pages up to date. So, that took a few minutes of corrections and checking and then I got to thinking… I ought to make mention of some links that might help you. These pages have been up for many years and even they might have corrections needed… but I thought I post some of them in hopes that you might find just what you need for your homemaking.

So… here you go… I’m just pasting in several ideas and page links directly from our site:

For Breakfast	We alternate a basic menu that’s served with whole wheat toast, milk and fruit: Farina, Oatmeal, Cold Cereal 1 day per week, Muffins and fruit 1 day per week. And we generally fix a “big” breakfast one day per week. Sometimes we serve hot chocolate and sometimes we make smoothies instead of the hot food.
For Lunch	We have a wide variety of foods for lunches… if not “left-over’s,” then we choose an item from the “Bunches of Lunches” list I made up a long time ago and taped it inside our kitchen cabinet. This list has helped me immensely over the years when I stand in the kitchen and wonder: what in the world should I fix today?
For Snacks when Dinner’s going to be later	We have fruits, nuts, bagels and cream cheese, veggies and dip, cookies or smoothies, pop-corn or chips and salsa.
For Dinner	Need some Ideas? Dozens of Dinners and Dinner meal recipes Print off the Dozens of Dinners and/or the Bunches of Lunches and tape the page inside one of your cabinet doors. You will have ideas at the ready… You just have to remember to look!! So… ideas for you: Make two main dishes at a time.. this way you will have one to serve and one to save for another meal. If you will do this every week at least once, you will have quite a “storehouse” of back up meals. Then each time you face a busy day, just pull out a meal from the freezer in the morning and you’ll have most of your dinner prepped in advance with little extra effort. Usually, the biggest effort is simply gathering the food and allotting appropriate time for the meal prep! Another helpful trick is to cook up LARGE batches of meat, beans or soup/stew. Freeze in ziplock bags in portions according to the needs of your family and you will have the most time-consuming portion of the meal already done!

Summer Breeze…

Ah…… an unlikely title, given that we had a major lightning and thunderstorm here last night. And I do not like lightning and thunder… even less! And rain? Wow… lots of rain. I saw the only way to enjoy it was to have all the hanging flower baskets taken down and set out in it… that was the only good thing I could see in yet another rainy day this summer! Well, that, and the beauty of the green everywhere(!) today.

So… I was ironing… spraying away and ironing item after item while listening to the radio. Every once in a while I listen to a station that plays love songs and all that stuff… and somehow it makes the job sweeter, not just bcz I’m ironing my husband’s shirts and thinking all about him, but the songs take me back to places we were when we first heard them. Now, many are songs I don’t know for there was a long period in our marriage where I didn’t or wouldn’t listen to any secular music at all. And you know… during that time I would almost laugh out loud in a grocery store or elevator when I would catch myself singing along with whatever was playing. Too many times of that and I realized that the music was not inherently evil… and yada, yada, yada. So — if that’s offensive, I don’t mean to be… it’s just that I have decided that for now, for this time, for me — some occasional “sappy-love-songs-station” music passes muster. I may change my mind tomorrow.

So, anyway, I was listening along and heard… “summer breeze… makes me feel fine… blowing through the jasmine in my mind… see the smile, waitin’ in the kitchen, food cookin’ and the plates for two…” I continued to iron… smiled at the memories and realized: there sure are a lot of memories that blow through my mind… lots of them… lots of smiles. I laughed as I thought about that song and how a few years have passed since it first came out. Funny… thirty-five years isn’t all that long now. I continued to iron away and when the next shirt would be set down on the board… a new song came on and with it… more sweet memories. Sometimes I listen to praise music and sing along… sometimes I just have complete quiet — I love complete quiet, too. I’m able to work out lots of things when I do chores in complete quiet. Ironing makes for some really great times of reflection. I have my Bible memory work on a clip-board on my kitchen window-sill and I stop and read a line, repeat it and continue ironing… reflecting on the wonderful truths of the Word.

Ironing straightens out a lot of things — not just the clothes or the closet with fresh wash. No, ironing gives necessary time for getting thoughts straight and for concentrating on the person to whom the garment(s) belong. Now, maybe that’s self, but probably it’s others, too. If it’s self, then perhaps, self needs some straightening out. Probably the word “perhaps” was not the right choice — perhaps I should’ve said: if it’s self, then self needs some straightening out. We’ve all got some wrinkles that need addressing. I think ironing’s a great time to think on stuff that needs ironing out. Just like praying at the dryer, praying at the ironing board is a sweet time. Sometimes the LORD reveals things to me that I’d simply miss unless I stopped to fold or iron. Just like loads and bundles of laundry and ironing become piles and mountains, little wrinkles or messes in relationships unattended grow into mountains. And for both things, it’s just amazing how easily they’re addressed and taken care of.
Maybe you’re the sort that gets a little low from time to time or maybe you’re the sort that needs to be reminded of just how sweet your life really is (and has been) and just how blessed you really are. Maybe you need to iron some shirts and get some of those thoughts straightened out. Maybe there are some wrinkles in a relationship that need to be ironed out. Maybe a sweet time singing and praying is just what you need today. I know I did.

Cooking for a large family

I thought I’d share a bit about cooking today for a large family. Oooops, wait a minute… you might just call it: cooking for a family with lots of chairs around the table. I’m getting a little sensitive to the term large family… you know… what with the need to be on another umpteenth-and-one diet and all. Okay… so here’s a little bit of my TNT advice for you:

TNT advice is Tried ‘n True

LEARN TO COOK IN DOUBLES. When you make special meals, MAKE TWO: ONE TO SERVE AND ONE TO SAVE. When you cook meat, grate cheese, chop onions, make breads, make cookies, or whatever: ALWAYS THINK AHEAD… Think in terms of TOMORROW’s food needs! Think ahead about what’s ahead and plan for it by cooking for it. REALLY… cooking ahead will save you LOADS of time and money. Try it… you will see and you will not be disappointed. This is not like some cottage industry that you put out oodles of time and then discover that you have only made a few dollars in a year!

REALLY! Try cooking in quantity… you will have less waste, less trips to the store, less impulse buying, less mess, less wasted time, less frustration over what to fix for dinner, less guilt over what you didn’t use in time or what you could have made but didn’t. Buy quantity, cook quantity and serve quality meals. Really… whatever you call it: freezer cooking, mega cooking, quantity cooking, cooking ahead… it doesn’t matter what you call it, just do it. Even if you don’t do it “just right” or how you think other women do it… just do it. Make a few and try it; then another time double what you did before… and then, before you know it, your freezer will be like a treasure trove… filled with time savers and your cook and serve/cook and save method will be a life saver to you and a blessing to your family! By the way, that concern over doing things the way you think other women do them? Forget it. It’s a myth. Most moms are just like you… doing the best they can with what they’ve got at the time. Just glean what you can and forget the rest. Today’s a good day to start…

Remember TNT… tried ‘n true; these are things that have benefited other women; but you need to do what you can at the time… but stretch a little: TNT (try new things).

the dailies

It seems sometimes like the dailies get in the way of the dailies. That, or there are just too many dailies for one day. I think, then, that the best we can hope for sometimes is to have sort of a weekly, rather than a daily, perspective concerning most things. I mean, for example, it’s probably best to look at the children’s diet or food consumption that way. Consider that on any given day, they may or may not take in the proper amounts of food for particular food categories. They may be taking in more grains and breads one day, more fruits or veggies on another day, maybe a bit more protein one day and a bit more chocolate another day. When seen from the daily perspective, it might not look all that favourable… but from the weekly perspective, well… it’s all pretty okay.

So… I guess that’s sort of the way housekeeping needs to be considered sometimes. There’s just more of a day than the day can hold sometimes and so sometimes we have to see things from the perspective of a bunch of days. I was thinking about this a bit this morning as I was working around. And I realized that there’s this basic pattern of things that must be done—then there’s a bit of a pattern of things that ought to be done and things that could be done. Or not. Some days things just sort of bunch up and we miss the all-over-tidy at noon-time but I just have to not fret over it and recognize that it will get done during another all-over-tidy up that day. Sort of like the merry-go-round will eventually com around again and someone will be able to hop off the horse and tidy it up.

We try to make a game of it every day. All the chores of the house are sort of divided up according to age and ability (and availability) and so long as everyone is riding together, things go fairly well each day. The earlier the better it seems. It’s when one or two don’t stay on task that others are sort of pulled down. So… invariably, one of us is pushing and pulling at the same time. It’s generally easy to get everyone back on track… especially when it’s sunny outside! The merry-go-round goes round and round a whole lot nicer when the sun’s out.

So, speaking of the merry-go-round… I’d better hop off this one and get busy. There’ll too much of this day to fit into this day if I don’t.

mo betah mothering

So, I’m still going through our home… regathering, resorting, redistributing, refusing and recycling. But the one thing I don’t want to spend anymore time on is rearranging the same stuff – trying to figure out how to keep the same stuff I still won’t need later.

It’s been good… I’m thinking that at the end of the week I will finally get down to some serious paring down. Now, paring down for me or for us would be like drowning in cluttered chaos for a few of our friends who are the epitome of order and define minimalist decor. But for us, who have most everything we ever bought or were given (except for the things that broke or were stolen) doing a de-cluttering of the home is major surgery. What needs to go on here is akin to an amputation or something. Actually… what I really think needs to happen is that the walls need to be pushed out about 12 feet on all sides of the house – but then, that would sound greedy and discontent and, really, I strive to be neither.
So, the re-righting continues. I’m missing Hannah as she’s still in Idaho staying with a family and helping at the home of a young mother after the birth of their fifth child. O, how grateful I am for the opportunity for Hannah. I am remembering when that young woman was in her teens and how incredibly industrious she was (and is, still) and what a blessing she was to her family and to ours—so to now be able to send a little help to her at this time is really quite endearing to me. I tell Hannah that she is much like Becca was at her age… so it’s sort of melancholy to me as I think of what the LORD may have ahead for Hannah.

With most of the olders gone, the youngers have to “step up to the plate,” so to speak, and both fill in the gaps and learn the diligence that makes the work and lives of their older brothers and sisters valuable to others. I like to see these “life lessons” in play as they always increase the importance or reason for learning what they’re studying – they see the application and how God uses lives dedicated to Him. As a mom, I’ve needed to see the imperative to press on and not be weary of the repetitive nature of motherhood. I’ve needed to reemploy the creative enthusiasm as I train and retrain and retrain so that the last will be as skilled and capable as the first—and that the last will receive the same (yet, hopefully more) fresh, wonder-filled, awestruck passion that it seems only new moms possess.

So then, both the rewriting and the re-righting continues. Hopefully mo betah as the days go by.

Life’s a Rewrite

I’m sitting here this morning thinking of ways we used to do things and ways we do them now. Sort of a rewrite.

I stayed up a little late (a little late for lately, not a little late for times past – that would’ve been *really* late) last night as I had totally forgotten the deadline for the next issue of Making It Home. So, just as I’ve been doing around our home in the last few days working around with our children, I decided to write about clutter and reworking things to work better for “where you’re at” today. Then I remembered that I had written something about that in a past Welcome Home message. So I got that out and rewrote it. Life’s a rewrite.

You know, much of our “rewriting” or re-righting these days is just simply a fine-tuning of ways we used to do things or it is a: setting things aright. Stuff happens and we stop or get sloppy about the way we do things in the home. We let things slide, we stop being so particular and we stop striving for excellence. O, at first, it’s probably for some fairly noble reason… we want to enjoy things more, we don’t want to be so rigid or… gasp: legalistic. So we make changes or changes happen that we didn’t intend. Sort of those unintended consequences of life that surprise us when we see where we are down the road.

So the “let’s just enjoy life” or “let’s just have fun” days are over. It’s time to declare war on the clutter and get the house back. The house had fallen into the hands of the enemy and it’s time to get it back. It’s a tough thing to be the General.

“For the commandment is a lamp;
and the law is light;
and reproofs of instruction are the way of life”

Proverbs 6.23

So we, following what Daddy likes to see in the daily schedule and schooling, make a better plan! Mama sets the law in motion around the house and both the daddy and the mama are happy… used to be said that when mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. But we know the deeper truth is: If daddy and mama ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy. O… but that’s a message for another day… a message on protecting, preserving and fortifying marriage. That’ll be a good message to write.

So… the plan? the reworking? the rewriting of “things we used to do?” Well, the rewriting isn’t so much bcz the things were wrong, it’s just necessary from time to time to rewrite or RE RIGHT things. To make them right for the stage of life and the players. You add a few children, you add a newly capable worker or you “lose” one to marriage or college or work and then you need a rewrite. Things that used to work can still work, but they do need a rewrite. And when things are set right, we make a new chart, a new daily plan with new assignments. Until the next rewrite. This is the necessary flexing of motherhood. The lax ways are no way for a family to function well… there may be a measure of flexibility, but laxity is a very dangerous ingredient to mix into the bowl of family life. Ask me how I know this. 😮

So, a rewrite; a re-right. So… every one dressed, breakfast, Bible study, etc., shoes on and hair combed. Beds made. It’s time for a RE RIGHT. You go around… assess the situation. Yep… it’s worse than you thought. BE CHEERFUL. You already have a headache? Take a coupla tylenol and drink a tall glass of water. You have to move on.

Gather ALL the dirty laundry take it to the laundry room. This time we’re not hassling about whether or not the laundry is actually dirty or wrinkled dirty or lazy dirty. It all goes and gets a fresh start (unless it’s folded in a basket). Start a load. Then we gather all dishes, cups, glasses. Yes. The kitchen. Load and run the dishwasher. We don’t talk about the fact that we aren’t supposed to eat upstairs or yada, yada, yada. We already had that talk and we’ll have it again when the RE RIGHT is right. Get all the library books into the library bin. By the door. Get all the “borrowed’s” in a bin. By the door. Go switch the laundry loads… fold clean dry laundry into a bin. Leave it there ready for the next load. (edit: I forgot to mention a few steps) Get all the loose toys or parts and put them in a bin or a few bins. Be thinking of the toys that need to go and bless other children whose mothers shop at the thrift store. Yes… it’s time to pare down the toy cache. Cache is good in computing, but a large cache of toys is not good… even if they are hidden. Limit toys to a designated amount in a designated area or a couple of designated areas. Toys can be the undoing of mother’s sanity. And children’s manners. Then get all the school books in a bin. All the papers in a bin. These both will be ordered and ~~many~~ most will be tossed. Trust me, you won’t remember which child drew which picture unless the name and date are on them. As with most things you think you’re sure you’ll remember… you won’t.

So… you’ve tackled most of the gathering stuff and setting in the right room. If you still have time, start sorting and putting away. If not, then start in again tomorrow and for how many days it takes to get the house back into a home. But stay at it. Like diets, you don’t see the dramatic results right at first… but given several days… well, the results show and generate comments!

So, you’re staying at it… [all the while you are praising for the good jobs being done]. Get all the ironing and hang ON hangers and put in one place ready for ironing day. It will come. This is part of the re-right. [mobilize ALL the troops] Then… we all go around putting things in their right room. Then… the ordering of each room begins. That’s where we are today. Gotta go.

Some Home Making’s

Some Home Making’s	February 13, 2006

I had (late last night) decided that in the morning I’d like to share “Some Home Making’s” for today’s blog—and how faithful is the LORD—I had a direction late yesterday and He showed that He had a purpose for it today.

Our friend sent us an email this morning: “Type in your home address or a family members’ address. The web site will bring up a map of your neighborhood with small colored boxes on it. The small House icon represents your address; the colored boxes represent sex offenders in your area. Click on the colored boxes and it will bring up the offender’s photograph and the locations, names and employers. Click ALL AROUND, you will be amazed at the information you get!” http://www.familywatchdog.us/ So, out of curiosity, I did a check and was also amazed. I also found that I just was reminded to be more careful about “strangers” and to talk to the children about “strangers” and the need to be cautious as we go about our business in town or at the park, etc. I find that I need these simple reminders to talk to the children about the realities of life.

I think, as mothers of many children, we might sometimes tend to be lax or think we’ve covered the bases, so to speak, and sometimes forget “who knows what” as far as the different children in the family are concerned. For example: the other day I was asking one of the younger children to do a particular task and they sort of glazed over and didn’t know what to do—and so I smiled and asked, have I not taught you that yet? No. No, I hadn’t. Teaching, teaching, teaching. It never stops—it mustn’t stop. But we get weary in the well doing sometimes. But again, we mustn’t let weariness lead to neglect or indifference or wavering—or worse: giving up. That’s not an option—it may feel (some days) like an option—especially if we listen to bad counsel or the coarse talk of the day that is obnoxious and rude about the precious value of motherhood, parenting and children.

We need to stop and assess, from time to time, the understanding or knowledge of each of the children. Not just a “what are their strengths and weaknesses” sort of assessment, but: do they know this or that basic skill. Do they know particular numbers, protocol for different situations, how to find information they need, what would they do in this or that circumstance, etc., etc. I always amazes me when I realize that one of the younger children missed a particular teaching and how they just went on without it or compensated for it in some other manner. This could be anything from handwriting (how they come up with a particular formation of a letter that looks alright but is incorrectly performed) to sewing, cooking, math, cleaning, personal hygiene (bathing, flossing, tooth-brushing, wiping, etc.), housekeeping or whatever. Skills need to be learned, perfected and maintained. But it requires attentive attention. (sort of the way the LORD told the disciples: “And he said unto them, With desire I have desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer.” –Luke 22.15)

It’s attentive attention. It’s hearing *and* listening. With desire we must desire to parent and care for the children.

So, this has led to some “drilling” around here. Perhaps not all at once and not in a scary or confrontational way, but it has meant asking questions (from time to time—for clarity and reinforcement) of different age groups of children , from basic questions like: what is your full name, what is your address, what is your age, what is your phone number, what is your dad’s and mother’s name, what is your birthday, what do you do if a fire starts here or here, what do you do if the toilet overflows, what do you do if someone comes to you in the yard and mother is in the house, what do you do if a person we do or do not know tells you to do something we have told you not to do, what do you do if someone touches you inappropriately, what do you do if your are cut or injured or whatever, what do you do if someone tells you not to tell mother and dad about something—and you know it’s not a birthday surprise or something you need to discern as a “good” secret, etc., etc. All of these things require discretion.

And then, to older children, we need to evaluate from time to time, their responses to some of those similar questions that would be occurring in their lives. They need to know all those same answers throughout their childhood, but the scenarios will necessarily be different as they grow and mature and as their activities increase and their circle of freedom increases. They’ll have more and more opportunities to be “out” for parental sight or supervision and will be in settings where they will have to have earned privileges and trust and will have opportunity to demonstrate maturity and trustworthiness. For the older children, whether in home or public school, I think it’s vitally important to ask and receive answers to these and many more questions resulting from dialogue each day. I guess we cannot just assume they know answers and right responses and we must be very careful to correct wrong assumptions and wrong responses. This is easier said than done if the teens are older and communication has been compromised or limited.

Talking, talking, talking trough the years—and it’s never too early, I’m convinced, has astoundingly important implications and results. Totally open communication really and truly appears to be key in any relationship—-most especially in marriage and parenting. I’m also pretty sure it’s never too late.

So, what did all this have to do with the registered sex-offender link and information? Everything.