October 2006 – Page 2 – The Welcome Home

A Crown of… glory

I can hardly write today as I am giddy with excitement over an appointment I have tomorrow morning. I am considering all the delightful things that are equal in value… a used car… a Bosch mixer and *all* the attachments. A computerized sewing machine… well a low end machine, anyway. A digital camera and a vacation spot to take pics. A new wardrobe (*not* from a thrift store, eBay or Craig’sList). A new keyboard for Kathryn. A new computer for her as well as a printer, paper, and a maid (to replace the one we have ~wink~) for a month. O, the list is endless –the possibilities are endless. I was thinking of all the jewels that could be fitted into a crown. But then… the crown I am getting won’t have space for jewels. Hmmm, too bad.

A crown is like buying a new transmission for a car. Or repairing the septic system for the house. It’s the best thing you can do with that amount of money when you need to solve a transportation or storage (?) problem… but you just can’t show everyone the delightful new purchase. You also cannot invite everyone to look in your mouth as you show off your new ~~Bosch mixer + attachments~~, ~~computerized sewing machine~~, ~~digital camera~~, ~~wardrobe~~ … crown (with no jewels). When I think of a crown I’d like to wear, the one I’m getting doesn’t immediately thrill and excite me. It’s no where near the style I was hoping to wear.

So, the next time we visit… I may want to show you my neat new acquisition. But I won’t. I really would suggest, however, brushing and flossing and whatever else you can think of adding to the list of practices that prevent wearing crowns you can’t or won’t show off.

I guess I can delight in my community service or our sort of philanthropic ventures. You see, I just marvel over the sacrifices made for the betterment and enrichment of many dentist’s families. I suppose that in my self-sacrificing denial of new mixers, sewing machines, cameras, vacations and/or a myriad of other delights, my husband’s been instrumental in the provision of all those things and more for a whole lot of wives. Mygoodness, I will think of my husband in a whole new light from this day forward! As if I don’t already totally admire his sacrificial living and giving nature, I see a new dimension I hadn’t recognized heretofore. I will practically skip into that office and cling to that chair in the morning at the prospect of the marvelous privilege we have to better the lives of the family members of that dentist. O, the prospect is so inspiring, and the blessings innumerable, I wish I could go there this moment! I wonder what he would say if I announced my arrival: I’ve come here today to bless you. (If you can say that and sound like Nancy Campbell… bonus!)

Wear a dress and go as a girl…

The sweet blessings I’ve had the privilege to enjoy through the years of maintaining A Christian Home website are the wonderful letters and testimonies that visitors send me. It’s been particularly true regarding the matter of feminine dress and the LORD’s touch and direction for many women and girls. I used to feel like I was one of few who saw or heard the biblical message of modesty and feminine dress for women and girls. It has seemed that women everywhere are coming to the same conclusion regarding “what in the world to wear.” I recall a time when I was in junior high school and I was wondering what to wear for a school “dress-up day.” My mother deadpanned: “Why don’t you wear a dress and go as a girl?” Though I did wear dresses and liked to sew, in those days much of the time my wardrobe for winter consisted of cords and Levi’s 501 jeans –and for summer: Levi’s 501 jeans: cut off. I probably was annoyed at her comment at the time, but seriously, through the years that statement has resonated with me and come to mind many, many times.

Couple that comment with a thought I had some years back: would I want Wes to reach over to my side of the closet and wear *my* clothes? Then why in the world would I be comfortable wearing (clothes like) his? If the Bible clearly speaks against men being effeminate, then clearly, women being masculine is (or should be) just as abominable. But our society doesn’t exactly go that way, does it? Our society seeks to obliterate God’s perfect design and now, men are so confused, they don’t know who they are or who the ought to be with and women are seeking to be like men ought to be and men are seeking to be like feminine women — it’s outrageous (or it ought to be!). The enemy is relentlessly attempting to thwart God’s design and beautiful order. Deuteronomy 22.5 is clear when distinguishing what is to be worn: “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.”

Some would argue that that is Old Testament Law… but I believe that the Old is very instructive and fleshes out the New Testament (and vice versa). We have much to glean from God’s simple order of creation and His distinction of male and female. I fully and firmly believe God’s divine plan, the marvelous distinctions He created should be recognized and revered. I think we reverence the LORD by our delight in His creation—what better way than not only accepting His design but embracing it. I so wish I had taken my mom’s advice at the time! I wore dresses a great deal of the time in my adult life, but, probably fifteen years ago I took her advice and eliminated the pants and I think of her: “Why don’t you wear a dress and go as a girl?” comment. And I smile.

Here’s a sweet letter I received this evening:

Dear A Christian Home,
Lately I have been praying on the subject for modest dress. Today I got an answer from Jesus! I was afraid to tell my mom how I felt about skirts dresses etc…… and I asked God for help. My mom went shopping for me came back and said everything looked awful! She couldn’t find me jeans of shirts or skirts! She told me this “Ashley I’m sorry I couldn’t find you anything, you will have to wear skirts until we find something, besides I like you better in skirts than in pants.”. God works in amazing ways! I’m still wearing what jeans I do have (my mom said not waste), but when they wear out I will never buy jeans again! I am so happy, so free so much at peace! It all happened because I found your web site and it convicted me ! The truth blew me away! I sew (thank you Jesus!) so I can make my own stuff! Thank again for your wonderful articles, you touched me! I am 14, and some say I’m a “typical teen”, but I am a change teen forever! Words can not express my thanks! God Bless!
Love, Ashley M. 14
ps. I was wondering if you could post this letter on your blog? Maybe it can help another teen find Gods will for her life in dress!

Modest Dress

Whenever an article about conservative or modest dress is published, I rejoice! I rejoice because not only does it validate a message I so long to proclaim, but it also validates the choice and convictions of thousands of sisters around the world. Kelli sent me a USA Today article link that features a sister in the LORD, Wendy, who has the Wendy’s Modest Dress website.

I’ve had the pleasure of writing to Wendy many times over the years –first “meeting” her online when I was a member of an email list for women that dealt primarily with conservative family life issues. She then went on to start an online sewing business and then to forming an email list of like-minded sisters. I say “like-minded,” because not all Christian women see the matter of modest, feminine dress as an imperative of Scripture. It’s as if the issue of modesty totally eludes the church, generally speaking, today. Further, not many see headcovering as an essential or doctrinal issue or mandate. I’ve so appreciated Wendy’s gentle nonconfrontational stance and approach to the matter.

And while the article pertained largely to headcovering, articles such as the USA Today article and “mainstream” books on the topic of modesty are tremendous boosts for the exposure and endorsement of the huge necessity of modest dress. Could societies’ ill be cured with modest dress? Probably not, but certainly if the “church” were to take this matter seriously, the world would see a difference and instead of the church clamouring to look like the world, the world just might begin to take seriously that there is a difference –that Jesus does make a difference and the Bible truly is the light unto our path. Instead, because “the church” tends to make no changes –live no different from the world, the world sees no need of God in their lives and “the church” flows on in apparent hypocrisy.

I have a page of articles on modesty and modest, feminine dress along with lots of links for dressmakers and modest clothing sites.

The empty womb

Month after month, year after year… and then years… prayers and tears. An empty womb, empty arms, and seemingly empty prayers. But the LORD sees and the LORD hears the prayers. According to His plan –His mercy and His will, the womb remains and the arms remain: empty. Month after month watching and waiting for the sign. A couple of weeks late and there’s the standing at the bathroom counter watching and waiting for the little pink lines. None. And another month passes and the months fade into years… waiting, waiting, waiting. For some, it’s standing by the phone… waiting for a call –either from a doctor or an adoption agency. The call comes… I’m sorry, not this time.

This is a scene that replays all over the world. Sisters aching for a baby to carry –a child to nurture –another life to love. This happens to young and old… women who’ve never conceived, women who’ve carried and lost precious little lives they never saw but intimately knew, women who have physical conditions that seem to prevent conception, women with pcos, women who’ve given up hope. It might surprise women who’ve never been able to conceive that women who’ve birthed many often deeply grieve the passing of the childbearing years –as if there would always be one more and that one more would forever be grievously missed. For all of these women, the empty womb cries out. A grief seemingly too hard to bear. The Word says that there are three things that are never satisfied –women with empty wombs know this full well.

There are three things that are never satisfied,
yea, four things say not, It is enough:
The grave; and the barren womb;
the earth that is not filled with water;
and the fire that saith not, It is enough.
Proverbs 30.15-16

We have a page of requests from women and some husbands, too –requests for prayer for conception and birth. The cries of their heart are repeated over and over. May the LORD hear the prayers and may His Word bring peace and encouragement.

a slice of an october day

I thought about writing one more post about flies. And then I decided, nah, the first was enough and two was too many. However, day three of my fly-capturing adventure went very well. I think our team won with an arsenal of fly-paper strips hanging in every room and the ever present shop vac: thwp, thewp, thwp. It looks like there are very few flies on the loose. But I wasn’t going to write about flies.

But then, I didn’t want to write about school shootings -though the matter is grievous and the families need to be remembered. I didn’t want to spend effort talking about corrupt political campaigns, philandering politicians and other dirty politics, or even about a Nobel prize winner for his advancement of the ‘big-bang’ theory of the origin of the universe. And then, on the other hand, there are so many blogs and great websites to read that there’s no time to write… and on and on it goes.

I’ve been working on personal projects and so time at the keyboard is very selective and limited. It’s the way some seasons go, I suppose. Family things, home life… online business things have taken precedence over all else (and that’s really as it should be). There are still buckets and buckets of hazelnuts to gather –and soon, walnuts, too! Apples need to become applesauce in quart jars… and raspberries that reached the freezer but not the jelly jars need to do so right away! So, there are lots of good things to do and many hours need to be found to do them! ~smile~ And then there’s schoolwork… and Bible memory work..

Time here at the computer has largely been dedicated to mails and prayer for women who seek and pray for the LORD’s blessing of conception and birth. There are so many needs… so many cries of hearts longing for God’s healing touch and His blessing –not only for pregnancy, but many other things. The moment grief or self pity crops up in my thoughts, I need only read a mail from a hurting sister and my small, inconsequential concerns pale in comparison. The LORD is good and full of mercy and His faithfulness never fails.

I’ve spent time reading up on PCOS and the latest treatments and suggestions for addressing symptoms of PCOS. I do this, not so much for my curiosity anymore, but for Kathryn’s health and wellbeing and for adding information to that website page we have for women with pcos. It’s interesting to me that she’s not needing more answers or clamouring for help, but I know there are so many facets that need addressing and she’s not necessarily as concerned as I am to get to the answers this instant. But I think we, as mothers, do that… I think we look at a situation and want to get it all taken care of right away –learn all we can, do all we can –help all we can so that the children will live out their lives in the best-case scenario instead of worse-case scenario. She’s studied, read and researched and now moves on. I keep looking and looking… there are few new revelations –few unique answers. Sites seem to duplicate and share parallel information if not identical diagnosis and treatment. So, Kathryn continues a regimen of medications – Metformin and Spironolactone and a low-glycemic index diet –these have very slow results thus far. I am so amazed at her continued zest for life and how the side-effects of the medications (and pcos itself) do not diminish her daily enjoyment of her life and work. I’m supposing that it’s likely helping her to press on as God enables her to do so. We’re concerned for the leveling or regulation of her health as she continues to make arrangements to leave for the orphanage in Uganda the first of February. Much is needed to be done before that trip… and I’ll write about all that very soon. For now, it’s continually amazing how the LORD truly is providing for her every need. More on all of this later.

the spectator mother

A phase of motherhood I was never prepared to experience is how quickly I would become sort of a spectator –or that I would become a spectator at all. I just guess I thought I’d always be the mother. The mother-mother. I didn’t even see the spectator-mother signs coming. When the oldest of the two trainer children began to court his wife, I think I was still so wrapped up in the childbearing phase of motherhood that I didn’t even see it coming. I didn’t see the “game over” light flashing in front of me. I just thought of it as another phase of motherhood—and it was, but the way I saw it was that I’d still have some integral part or something. I guess I sort of missed that flashing light and now, years later, am really seeing how over it is when it’s over.
There are no second chances in motherhood. O, we may feel as though we have more chances because we have another child or ten, but with each one there is only one go-around and then the ride stops and you get off and they keep going. You just spent your ticket with that one. The ride’s over. O, sure, there’s another ride that you can get a ticket for ― that ride’s for the spectator-mothers.

Just like you can’t really know how the way is going to go in the early phase of motherhood, you can’t really know how the spectator phase goes until you get onboard and take the ride. There’s no guarantee that you’ll enjoy the ride or that you’ll find fulfillment or satisfaction or even that you’ll have a long ride. But, in reality, you do have a choice how you’ll react to or experience the ride. Just like in the earlier phase of motherhood… that earlier childbearing phase, you didn’t have an exact plan or program for how it would go. You did and do have the Word of God, so you, in a sense, had a “rule-book” or a “guide book” but as far as a specific description of how your days would go, you didn’t know. You won’t know as a spectator, either. Difference is, that when you were “the mother,” you had a whole lot more control and it was largely up to you to order the days. Now, as a spectator, there’s very little of that –if any at all.

As a spectator mother, there’s a lot of waiting… waiting for “children” to return home, waiting for children to get back test results, job offers, marriage proposals, acceptance… schools, jobs, houses, ministry positions… And there’s the waiting for what the LORD’s going to do in and through them —how He’ll use them for His glory. Sometimes we get the opportunity to see that while we’re still in the active mothering phase — but most likely not. Most likely all those things will happen in the spectator phase. That’s where we see faith. The surest revelation of faith is when the rubber meets the road.

At least it’s not frogs!

And just when I thought we were getting a handle on the flies. All day long my mind has been flooded with fly quips and witty inventions (for the demise of the flies or a fly’s demise, which ever applies). As I was going around (yes, again!) with the wand of the shop vac (for hours!), I was getting a bit haughty with my newfound success at sucking up flies. I’ve learned some clever new fly catching maneuvers and have captured now hundreds and hundreds of flies. But… as they are multiplying at four or five times the rate of captures, I’m not appearing to be all that successful at my attempts to eradicate the fly population in our home.

None of the stores in town have any fly paper strips. They did, however, have this fly catching contraption that cost Wes about seven dollars… and I have discovered that he paid about 6.99 too much for the plastic bag that (after lifting the plastic housing and filling the unit with water and dispersing an extremely foul smelling solution) is hung up and then attracts flies… supposedly by the hundreds ―the bag boasts a promise that it can hold 10,000 flies. Well, that’d be a good start, here. A dozen flies have met their demise by landing on the black cylinder and falling into the cesspool in the bag. O… and the bag is decorated with flies. I’m sure this is to let the other flies know that their relatives are hoping for a visit or something.

In the meantime, with the silence and finesse of a skilled burglar, I’ve learned to stalk the flies in their favourite landing spots. It’s become a game to me as I stand almost motionless, wand in hand, waiting for a group of flies to land as I calmly move the wand near them. I experience a tremendous rush of satisfaction if I can get five or six flies: thwp, thwp, thwp, thwp, thwp… bonus if I get a couple of the repopulating culprits. Extra bonus points if I get both flies and cobwebs at the same time. See, I didn’t know I had cobwebs until I started poking that wand into some high corners. So, I suppose there should be seen in all of this an additional benefit. However, this benefit brings me little satisfaction as the flies multiply in ever increasing numbers throughout the day and throughout the house.

Had I been Pharaoh, I think I’d have chased the children of Israel away after the swarms of flies… no, come to think of it, it would have been even before that. The thought of frogs gives me the creeps. So I suppose I see another benefit in all of this… these flies. At least it’s not frogs!

The Law

I’ve been thinking about a bunch of things tonight. I mean, I was vacuuming flies and I had lots of time to think. Seriously, hundreds of flies. Actually, it felt more like dozens of hundreds of flies. So I was vacuuming them up with Wes’s shop-vac. I have never seen so many flies in all my life– truly. As the day passed, the flies increased by such an alarming rate that I was beginning to feel as though an OT Egyptian style plague had come upon our home. We did have the fellowship here today and we did share a meal and the door was open all the while and the flies multiplied and multiplied. And multiplied. Many “fly-strips” were completely filled. Seriously, it was incredible and more than I have ever seen. But I said that already, didn’t I? Probably a hundred or more were sort of caught in the stairwell and still more covered all the books and the fan blades above the light in the kitchen. And the ceilings… everywhere.

There’s almost a sadistic drive to vacuum up and hear the thwp sound of the vacuum as another pesky fly goes into the vacuum hose. I had to learn to seal off the end of the hose when the vacuum is turned off so that the flies don’t fly out and multiply further.

So I was thinking about people’s stuff. You know that “issues” we each deal with. I find it interesting that when someone’s dealing with something that’s not “our issue,” then it’s really quite easy to sit back and think that issue is really pretty awful. I mean, I think we sometimes get pretty smug and think… well, at least I don’t do that or at least that’s not my issue. I was thinking about smoking. I mean, I was not thinking about smoking, but rather, I was thinking about the habit of smoking. I remember a few kids asking: …is that person (in line to buy cigarettes at the grocery store) going to hell? It’s so easy to think our stuff’s not nearly so dastardly as someone else’s stuff. Like there are degrees of sin. You know, sin sin’s, and then bad sin’s and then the really, really bad stuff. I think we like to think our stuff falls in the category of “everyday sins,” the every day stuff people do. Well.. coveting a little, or lying a little, or gossiping a little or being a little disobedient on the road or whatever. But we’re sort of smugly proud of the fact that at least we don’t smoke or swear or do (really) bad things. Well, not like smoking, anyway. So I was thinking about the “sin categorizing” I do sometimes. This is bad… but it’s not as bad as this______ and so as long as I don’t do_______, then I’m pretty much okay.

I was thinking about the law. We love the law when it’s on our side. You know, for example, if a policeman were to come onto the scene just as you had pulled over because you had a sudden blow-out of a tire and couldn’t repair or change it yourself, then you’d think the law was great –the law being the policeman. The helpful policeman. Awwww. But then, consider: you’re speeding. In a school zone. Children are present. You don’t have your driver’s license with you. Your tabs are also expired. You’re also not wearing a seatbelt. Dumb law. Mean policeman. Creep. See how differently we look at things when our “issue” is involved?

I think we do that with sin. It’s really bad unless we’ve deemed it to not be “that bad.” The law is a schoolmaster that brings us to repentance. It’s our guide. Psalm 119 is a marvelous Psalm about the law… the perfect law of God and how the Word of God is our protection, a lamp unto our feet and light unto our path. The Word is Truth. It is only against this Truth that we can truly see *the* Truth. For the truth is not in us—for we would lie. But God is not a man that He should lie and so He cannot/will not compromise truth. He is Truth. So, no matter how we see things, unless we see them in light of God’s Word –in light of the truth, we will not have wisdom nor truth – no matter how much we think we know.

Praise the LORD that regardless our issue, there is forgiveness with God and with God all things are possible and He will place His law in our hearts and none of our steps shall slide. These, from Psalm 37 (vss 26, 27 and 3,4,&5):

He is ever merciful, and lendeth; and his seed is blessed. Depart from evil, and do good; and dwell for evermore.
Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

So the flies remain, pesky flies they are. But it’s been a good reminder to me of the pests that plague us from time to time. It’s not always the stuff we can see that’s the most irksome. It’s more often the stuff we (and others) cannot see that plague us the most. And are doing the most damage.

The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. -2Peter 3.9

It is in the spirit of prayer and repentance that we see the light of the LORD –the forgiveness, the cleansing, the enabling… the light to our path. Then, no matter how great or small our “issue” seems to us to be. With God, all things are possible. But we must humble ourselves and call on His name.

For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments:
and his commandments are not grievous.
For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world:
and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.
Who is he that overcometh the world,
but he that believeth that Jesus is the Son of God?
1John 5.3-5

ps — By the way, I picked smoking in my example bcz smoking’s an easy target. No hidden message was intended there and no accusation, either. I just picked something… could’ve been anything – food, even.