Titus2 – The Welcome Home

The Next Right Thing

Over the years I’ve used a phrase numerous times in all sorts of seasons, mental spaces, homemaking, motherhood, even on this blog — the phrase: do the next right thing. This concept wasn’t learned overnight and it wasn’t learned easily. It wasn’t something that came naturally to me — as disciplines of motherhood didn’t come naturally to me.

But, from the beginning, God was working in me to will and to work for His good pleasure. –Philippians 2.13. Day by day He has been working disciplines into my life and I share these things with you that you might experience the same: God working in you for His good pleasure. Or God affirming in you what you’re already doing, learning, accomplishing for His glory.

Journaling, daily chore lists, daily prayer and devotions, checklists, etc., etc., all came into practice for me after I’d been married a little while. Early on, c. 1978, my mother-in-law gave me (among many other books) a copy of Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman by Anne Ortlund. I think, for the first time, I realized how much I did not know, how many things I didn’t pay attention to doing, or how many things for which I had no real plan. I don’t recall enough of the book to heartily recommend it today, but I do recommend establishing disciplines to live by.

Speaking of disciplines to live by, sometimes, “the next thing” isn’t the next right thing (even though it might seem like it). And often we jump to do the next thing in haste (because it’s on the list and because: it. is. the. next. thing.) when we ought stop to evaluate what the next right thing is.

Sometimes we get caught up in the snowball effect of doing next things —all day long, practically running through our day checking off all the things, all the busy things we do every day. And at the end of the day instead of being tired but fulfilled, we might feel as though we didn’t actually accomplish much (except a checked off list) and end the day feel tired and empty. Maybe in that list mix a right thing was missed, a right thing was overlooked, a right thing was rejected.

As I’ve shared a number of times, there are a couple of things I began to do and have done every day for the last 40+ years or so. Every day, first thing, I make our bed, tidy our room and have some sort of quiet time/Bible study/journaling. Those aren’t checklist items but they set the tone of the day… they’re sort of foundational to being ready for the day, ready for the next thing: the next right thing. Since I could have a tendency to be haphazard so these (and other) disciplines help keep me in line. Getting fully dressed for the day is another.

So, what’s a next right thing? Sometimes a next right thing is a: Stop everything–stop and pray! Or, stop and push a swing, see the sunset, listen to a trouble, a story, a heart. Or, stop everything: go take care of someone, go get someone, go make something for someone. Sometimes the next right thing is a necessary brief interruption–sometimes it’s all day. Whatever the case, right things might be seen as intrusions to our disciplines —our order— unless and until we seek to yield to what God is doing.

We might have our next things done so that we can be ready for the next right things. A daily order makes “time demands” easier to oblige. Next things are often task oriented only, whereas a next right thing is hopefully more grace oriented.

Does the next right thing take the place of the next thing? Yes, often.

As mothers, one of the hardest things to evaluate/prioritize is time/list management with so many potential variables. We might fall into one camp or another: so ordered we cannot be spontaneous —or— so spontaneous we never have order. Disciplines are tricky. But necessary. And gracious.

Disciplines bring freedom… freedom to do what we ought instead of doing whatever we want. This is where we can learn to do the next thing with the priority of the next right thing. In Titus 2.3 speaks of aged women being teachers of good things with verses 4 and 5 amplifying the good things.

Doing the next right thing is… a good thing. ♥ —ps

Nancy’s “Beau-az”

Nancy’s Beau-az, the wedding of Nancy and Robert Wolgemuth, witnessing the commitment they made to one another and the intended picture they represented. It was awe inspiring to experience the magnificent picture and the great-great blessing of the anticipation and hope we have for the ultimate wedding: the soon coming marriage supper of the Lamb.

diamond_wedding_rings For many years, Nancy Leigh DeMoss has been such a great encouragement and inspiration to me through her books, radio programs and other messages. She’s one of the women the Lord’s used to inspire me to use the gifts God has given me to teach and walk alongside women after the manner of Titus 2.3-5

Her books and teachings have resonated with me — echoing or inspiring messages the Lord’s given me through all these years and so I delight in this next chapter – this next season in her life – now, their life, as she has become bride and wife to Robert Wolgemuth — Nancy’s Beau-az!

I can’t tell you the tremendous joy it was to eagerly anticipate and then to vicariously attend their wedding this past Saturday. I was giddy as a schoolgirl! O, I know I only saw the wedding via livestream in my dining room, but I was totally there in my bathrobe, a participant in witnessing their vows — witnessing the commitment they made to one another and the intended picture they represented. It was awe inspiring to experience the magnificent picture and the great-great blessing of the anticipation and hope we have for the ultimate wedding: the soon coming marriage supper of the Lamb. It is our blessed hope as we look to That Day. If you know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, then That Day is for you, too. If you do not know Him – know Him as Lord, as your Saviour, as your Redeemer, please write to me, I want to tell you how you can have assurance of Salvation through Faith in Jesus Christ. He is the Way, the Truth and the Life. No man — no person — comes to the Father but by Him — Jesus. There is no other way. This is the truth. I want you to know the Truth—it will set you free, it will save you.

I hope you take the time to listen to these messages, that you take the time to “witness their wedding” (yes, it is very long–but so worthwhile!) and I pray the Lord will bless and encourage you in your own walk with Him. And if you are married, I pray their messages will inspire you to give/recommit your marriage to the Lord, for Him to work, rework, rekindle, and bless you with a marriage that pictures Christ and the Church. What a beautiful picture – what a marvelous mystery – we read in Ephesians 5! This is why marriage is so precious and should be/must be guarded and guided by the Lord. This is why marriage — as created, instituted and defined by God — is so sacred and must be honoured as such.

Keepers @ Home

u_skap_4 [cp_dropcaps]I[/cp_dropcaps]n Titus 2.4-5 we read, in part, that younger women are to be taught by older women to be keepers at home, we see that there must be something to this ‘keeping a home’ for it to warrant teaching or knowledge of skills to do the keeping. This home-keeping, something that needs to be studied, or which requires skill, must also be pretty important or noteworthy for it to be contained in the list of imperatives in the book of Titus concerning what ought to be taught through and to women. I will add that this ‘home-keeping’ be done well because it does not stand alone. In context, it is in the verse which concludes: that the Word of God be not blasphemed.

Everything we do must be measured against the standard of God’s Word. Nothing we do is worth anything if it does not measure up to the Word of God. That’s convicting. And it’s also tough teaching—but that’s the Word—God’s Word to us. You know what’s also convicting? Older women are directed to do this — to be about doing this. More often than not, I see the younger women hanging around the younger women and working it all out. I see the older women feeling like has been’s, antiquated in their ways and ideas and not all that willing or able to impart teaching to younger women. Younger women may also not really want advice or training from older women, either. Whatever the case, the Scriptures are pretty clear on “discipleship” and instruction to youth.

So, what if the older woman isn’t in a position or doesn’t feel capable to teach the younger? It seems that desire to be available probably ought to be a priority and then action when opportunity arises. But regardless how this all plays out in a woman’s life, there needs to be some nurturing of the desire to be used of the Lord in other’s lives—the willingness to be available to others in their time of need, the willingness to be open and vulnerable over a cup of coffee, as an example. And all the while, older women need to continually grow in the Lord and in prayer — sharpening their faith, skills, understanding, and knowledge — so that they will be ready to give an answer! ♥

So, the home is a shelter, a place of worship and prayer, a place of refuge, a place of forgiveness and forgetfulness, a place of refreshment, a place where skills are taught and where they’re learned — it’s a place of hospitality. It is all of these and more.

I will suggest that the home is also a place of harmony. A place where lives are blended in order that a whole may be formed. Two come together as one—a whole is formed. A child is added to the whole and it is made more complete—perhaps another or many others are added in order that that whole might be made more complete. Whatever the case, the home is where harmony and oneness are learned; it is where communication and cooperation are learned; it is where acceptance and rejection is learned and handled. The home is where relationships are modeled and worked out. The home must be a safe place for all these things to be nurtured or understood. All of these facets of human relationships will be learned somewhere—a nurturing Christian home will help all of these develop healthily. The longer I live, the more I see the value and necessity of a nurturing home.

The keeper at home has a tremendous responsibility to make sure that the home is all of these, that in addition to these or the working out of all of these, makes sense with the home a place of work, creativity, industry, health, basic education and training for the desire for life-long learning. When the home is seen in proper perspective— in line with the Word of God, it is a dynamic place—a place that’s so full of life that it’s naturally growing and incorporating and encouraging each member, friend, or guest, and the model is Christ-like. And isn’t that our greatest desire — our whole hope—our whole hearts’ desire: That the Lord is glorified and that we may be like Him?!!? Then it stands to reason that our homes should reflect that desire—they should radiate that hope or that tone—and should be ever growing in grace as each season passes.

If being a keeper at home has been difficult for you (as it has been for me at different times and in different seasons) then maybe it’s just time to stop and refocus, time to stop and reevaluate where you are, what’s going on and where you’d like to improve. I do this from time to time so that I can sharpen my focus or get back on track where I’ve derailed. Only the devil will attempt to convince you that you’ve failed or that you’re not capable of getting it right (bcz you never do) or that it’s too late. Those are lies. The truth is that [cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]the Lord has created you specifically with all your special skills and abilities, quirks and even your limitations[/cp_quote] the Lord has created you specifically with all your special skills and abilities, quirks and even your limitations — and desires that you use them for His glory, that you cry out to Him to equip you, strengthen you for the task, give you hope, joy, peace and patience for the journey and that He would work in you to be a gracious blessing to your family. I think that’s why He’s set many of us in our homes where we often feel like we know not what to do—but with God all things are possible.

The Current Truth

Oct05springhetti

I began working on my new This Beautiful Life journal/planner/notebook, and once again I’m stymied by my answers. I see the designated spaces for specific answers and am reticent to write mine down.

My tendency is to be very tentative about what goals I write (thinking if I write it, I’ll be committed to doing it). One day I might only write a few goals — another day I might write down things that would take two lifetimes to accomplish. My abstract sequential / concrete random thinking style seems to prevent me from ever making a definitive list. Have you ever analyzed your thinking style? There are different tests you can take to determine your thinking style — and I’m sincerely not so sure it’s crucial to do it, know what it is, or whatever, but this might help you understand yourself (and particularly your children — and your husband) better, and help you get why you (or they) do things the way you (or they) do them. Just an idea for you.

So, back to my “priority journal” [Chloe’s: This Beautiful Life] and that box: The Current Truth. That box shows up on five pages. There are five sections corresponding to five priorities. It’s hard for me to narrow down five priorities. Would that be hard for you? So, I’m thinking about my priorities: what are they? Why are they important (or, important enough to be in the top five)? As I think on these things, I have to realize that my priorities and the things I prioritize —by how I spend my time— are not the same thing. That’s where that The Current Truth reality box is staring me in the face like a mirror. And I have to say: wow, my current reality is not where I want to be. And, if my current truth or current reality is not what I want it to be, what I’m doing each day is actually pulling me away from, or destroying, what I want or where I want to be. Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. –proverbs 14.1 What I’m doing or how I’m spending my time or money or whatever is quite revealing as to how serious I am about accomplishing my priorities.

You know, there’s another way to get a pretty clear picture of priorities… might be too hard to hear, but ask your husband what he thinks the current truth is regarding a particular priority you have. Or, maybe you have a son or daughter who could give you invaluable feedback. Maybe a trusted friend. Maybe all you need is a pen and paper. Write down your priorities — what they look like at their best and what’s the current truth? Better yet, get Chloe’s book. Honestly, you’ll be so surprised at how life changing, complex and invaluable this simple little book will turn out to be in your life.

So today I’m sitting here, writing things down, looking out over the yard… and, honestly, the way looks stormy and the road looks long. I don’t want to write anything else down and I don’t want to do what I must. I don’t want to commit to anything bcz I so often fail and I’m pretty uncertain about a lot of things – things over which I have little control. And, I don’t want to have another list of stuff I didn’t get to or didn’t do. I relate to the apostle Paul and think of what he says in Romans 7: “…For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not…” — 7.18-19

But if I don’t press on… well, I sure don’t like where that would leave me — that, and I know I don’t want to be that girl. So… I press on. That’s my current truth. And, it’s because of the Truth that I will do this. I will seek Him and I will trust Him. That, and I truly do want this to be a beautiful life.

For it is God which worketh in you
both to will and to do of His good pleasure.”
philippians 2.13

the power of communication

newglasses1 Regardless the circumstance, the importance and power of good communication cannot be understated. The impact of either good or bad, clear or muddled, distinct or vague communication is powerful. Think of a time recently when something you said or did was misunderstood by another person; or consider the last time you misunderstood what was communicated to you. How’d that go for you? What were the consequences?

I’m sharing with you part of a talk I gave last night at our monthly TitusTwo meeting. As I go along through the years, I’m so grateful for these opportunities to share (and learn!!!) as the Lord gives me different messages stemming from quiet times, things I’m going through, or from passages I’m reading in the Scriptures.

Colossians 4 is loaded with messages and benefits — especially regarding the many facets of communication. It begins with the Apostle Paul communicating proper ways of treating others, matters concerning prayer, walking in wisdom, redeeming the time. Each verse contains a message, or two, I think. But what really caught my attention, in the section of verses I was reading, is verse 6: “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer every man.”

Effective communication is the lifeblood of relationships. And, conversely, poor communication is a destroyer of relationships. I think some things we really must keep in mind regardless the circumstance or conversation are these five points:

What’s directly said
What’s inferred
What’s meant
What’s heard
How what’s heard is interpreted by the hearer

With those basic points as the framework, imagine the benefit and the blessing of speech that’s always grounded in grace or focused on grace or hemmed in grace? And, to be sure, it’s not a matter of the old saying: “It’s not what you say but how you say it.” Don’t get caught in that trap — a manipulative statement or question said sweetly or cleverly is still a manipulative statement or question. And another old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” is a lie. Words can hurt. Words can destroy. That’s where that saying, “Loose lips sink ships,” holds a lot of water.

When we concentrate on having our speech be always with grace, we demonstrate we have high regard for our hearer in mind. What we’re saying, what we’re inferring and what we’re meaning is our side or our part of the communication — whatever grace there is in that depends on the importance we’ve placed on it. The other side of the communication depends on the other person: what’s heard and how what is heard is being interpreted by the other person–the hearer. This is why it’s such a useful practice or habit to seek feedback or to replay what you think you’ve just heard the other person say. Going a step further, it’s also useful to clarify the meaning behind what’s said. This is especially useful or important when discussing some serious matters or making serious decisions.

I shared last night with the ladies in the group how my husband had misunderstood a statement I’d made some weeks ago. After talking about the situation again at another time, I realized that I could’ve been clearer or elaborated on what I’d been thinking but was trying to communicate a point with some brevity that first time. I know, that’s hard for me. ~wink~ When my husband clarified what he thought I meant by what I said, I was able to tell him what I really meant. Isn’t it interesting how many misunderstandings would either never come to be in the first place or could be instantly clarified by simply restating back what we think the other person said or what we think the other person meant. We could save ourselves so much time and so much emotion if we’d just employ this simple process. It’s stilted at first, to be sure, when you begin to practice this communication clarification tool, but it’s a tool really worth learning to use and to personalize depending the situation.

Well, that verse in Colossians continues on with another critical aspect of our speech: that it be seasoned with salt that we may know how we ought to answer every man.

Think of delicious soup or any food, really, it’s usually the addition of salt that makes it so tasty! And, it’s what makes you want more! That, and it makes you thirsty! Now, think back on one of your recent conversations. Were your words seasoned with salt? Did you know how you ought to answer? Was your conversation satisfying? That’s some great food for thought, isn’t it?!

Salt’s an interesting thing when you think of all it does–not only is it savory, it’s a preservative. So, regarding conversation or communication, you might think: is it pure? is it clean? is it true? is it sincere? Think of some opposites — these might clarify for us a bit better if our communication is gracious and seasoned with salt or not: is it impure? is it unclean? is it empty (salt lost its savour, as in Mark 9.50)? is it corrupt? Ephesians 4.29 “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace to the hearers.”

This is sobering, isn’t it. Bcz it’s pretty easy to fall into poor or derogatory communication, maligning, or ungracious speech. All of these different thoughts have caused me to question or mentally review recent days’ conversations: Were they always with grace? Was my speech seasoned with salt? Did my words point to my Saviour or to the Word? Did I draw others to Christ or give them a taste of heavenly things?

Tip Time

♥ It’s Tip Time! ♥

These tips fall under the categories: I’m so glad I saved _____ ; and the category: Ooooo… saved myself a whole bunch of time and energy by planning for future needs! Yay!

Continually in the mindset of thinking efficiently, make a conscious effort to consider the needs of others–your husband, family, etc., etc. ♦ A kitchen log and/or a journal will help you put it down and out of your mind = eliminate worry. Pray the Lord will guide you as you plan, pray He will give you insight for what you need or what you will need.

♦ Planning for daily meals = eliminate mealtime shortfalls and stress; ♦ planning for events = more smoothly transitioning from whatever point a to be, etc.; ♦ planning for future needs/seasonal needs = not fearing for the snow for your household; and rainy days. Sorry, rainy days will come and you’ll necessarily face those with the Lord, on your knees and waiting on Him — maybe in tears, but as you set your days in His hands, you will find solace there.

So… tip time:

♦ Jar lids—-if a store-bought item has a flip lid and fits on a mason jar, save that lid! Consider, some plastic containers for parmesan cheese have flip-top lids that fit regular mason jars — Truvia jars, too… some salad dressings and some tomato/pasta sauce jars, too, just to name a few.

♦ Pumps for soaps/lotions/shampoo — some of these fit other bottles that you might want a pump for. Now, this is just friend to friend advice, as I’m sure there are purists who wouldn’t think of reusing a soap or conditioner pump for any food item–all the leeching etc., etc. = anathema! So, cover your ears and don’t listen to this. I use pumps or reuse pumps all the time———makes so many things easier! From the kitchen sink to the pantry to the bath! As an example, I use the pump from a (costco size) bottle of Pantene conditioner—thoroughly-thoroughly-thoroughly washed, soaked, rinsed, washed and rinsed again—for some bottles of oils I use in cooking. They fit perfectly and not a drop is wasted. I reuse pumps on bottles of shampoo, etc., and put them on bottles that didn’t originally come with a pump. Saves money from going down the drain in the family’s shower. Sometimes I use the pumps I’ve purchased for coffee syrups—I use them on the syrup bottle, but when the syrup’s gone, sometimes I use the bottle fitted with a pump for sauces, salad dressings, etc., etc. This has been simple for me since I was able to purchase a quantity of pumps for a low price. So, all this to say, if you purchase pumps or whatever other time/food-saver you purchase, be sure you save those items to reuse in the future.

♦ Flip lids to toothpaste or lotion or whatever—these are another saver! Flip lids from spice jars—some come without a flip lid/shaker and so I always save assorted jar lids that have a shaker/ flip top so I can replace the lid with the better/more effecient lid. Saving these sorts of lids, helps so much bcz there are so many uses for them. I save assorted sized bread ties and bags, too — along with other things that ♦ make food storage easier. Saving unique jars and bottles with lids is also a great way to plan for food storage — gallon jars with lids make organizing and storing foods in the pantry so much easier. You can also save bottles with lids for juice, syrups, gravy, salad dressings, etc., etc. In this way, you’ll be glad you planned ahead for future needs!! Instead of giant hodge-podge ~~mess~~ bin of “tupperware” or whatever-ware, you can reuse items your food came in in the first place and reuse them for other foods or left overs or whatever until the containers wear out. Or get lost. Or become a hodge-podge mess. Don’t be afraid to recycle. As in, throw away.

The big deal is that you continually learn (and re-tune/refine) to plan ahead and know when to be, and be determined to be, ♦ content with the amount of stash you have—too much and you’ll have oodles of chaos instead of contentment and all your planning will backfire as an unintended consequence. Too little planning and/or stash and you’ll have discontent and waste time and money over last-minute spending instead enjoying the contentment you originally longed for. ♦ Balance. That’s the big deal. Balance.

The Engrafted Word

teacuppamela Many years ago, I had the great privilege of meeting, and then getting to know, the dear Florence Turnidge. That meeting and subsequent friendship would become for me a living example and enduring encouragement. Florence had such a love for the Word of God and a zeal for the truth. My only regret was not meeting her sooner — well, that, and not keeping the habit of regularly memorizing scripture. To this day I find, stashed throughout our home, evidences of her ministry: Bible memory cards — key verses printed on cards for memorization.

After I began memorizing Scriptures, I came to realize the great benefit and blessings the come through the engrafted Word. I came to see that it’s the only Word one can read in the dark—and it’s been, in the darkest days, powerfully realized. So, why haven’t I devoted more time and attention to Bible memory work? Slackness. My own slackness — and I see it so clearly when I face situations and react or respond in fear rather than in faith.

And then I consider that the Lord is not slack–no, not at all. And as I seek to be like Jesus, I remember that I must determine to know Him and His ways and that this is a daily walk, this walk of faith. So I think of His admonitions: “Be ye strong therefore, and let not your hands be weak: for your work shall be rewarded.” –2 Chronicles 15.7

And I reckon this with more of the Lord’s character: “The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” —2 Peter 3.9

So I wonder again: why have I not spent time diligently engrafting the Word of God? I know I must — I run into situations all the time where I need to instantly bring to mind the Truth as so much error is vaunted as “truth” and so much “religion” is presented as “biblical.”

“Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.” –James 1.21

While we were attending a recent conference, I made a note to memorize a particular chapter and even highlighted my note to do so. That note, tucked into many pages of notes would perhaps have been forgotten unless one of the men in our prayer meeting had mentioned he’d had a real prompting to memorize Scriptures. Ah… my own notes came back to mind. Isn’t it interesting how the Lord works when He’s prompting something in us–it’s often accompanied or confirmed by another witness. And then, just yesterday, I had yet another affirmation to hide His Word in my heart as I was seeking to be an encouragement to another sister regarding guarding the heart and mind from the subtle attacks of the enemy.

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel, For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.” Ephesians 6.10-20

O, and the latest passage that was impressed on my heart? Isaiah 26. And I will press on to engraft that word on my heart. Thank you for reading today… may you always be blessed.

Motherhood: A Call to Carry On

Carry on. When you’re drop dead tired and there’re still several hours and as many chores left to do at the end of the day: Carry on. When you have so much to do you don’t know how you’ll do it all: Carry on. When you have so many needs to fill and seemingly not enough resources to fill them all: Carry on. When you’re weary and successes are few and failures are many: Carry on. When you feel all alone and as if no one cares for what you do: Carry on.

Carry on, Mother, carry on! Motherhood’s a call to carry on. No matter what you think, how you feel or how things seem to appear, as a mother, you’re called to carry on.

I was mulling over this message, I got to thinking about flying; the hustle and bustle of the airport, the waiting in line, the scans and the check-points. You board the plane and you prepare for the flight ahead and you sit back and either endure or enjoy the ride. You don’t really worry about your baggage, for at that point there’s really nothing you can do about it anyway. But there’s still your “carry on” stuff… the stuff you need to be responsible to take care of. All the while, it’s up to you to make the best of the flight or perhaps by default, just choose to snooze or endure the passage of miles and time.

Motherhood’s a lot like that… you may come into it with lots of baggage, but there comes a point that you need to put the baggage down and “check it” as it were, and deal with your carry-on’s. You know, it’s interesting how baggage goes… it’s all the stuff we think we’ll need for the trip; it’s all the stuff we thought we couldn’t live without; it’s all the stuff that follows us wherever we go and much of it doesn’t do us any good or isn’t actually useful or necessary for the trip –we usually find that out when we reach the destination. Actually, for most all of us, what’s really important is what’s in our carry-on’s. We usually pack the most important things in our carry-on’s – our valuables, our money, our credit, our identification, our appearance enhancing tools, and other necessities. Problem is, many mothers get bogged down with their heavy baggage and are consumed with looking at it, thinking about it, rifling through it, trying to carry it around –that they forget to hang on tight to their precious carry-on’s. Many mothers are more concerned with the baggage… the things, the what if’s, the furnishings, the styles, the weights of the world, the what-will-other-people-think’s in life.

It’s what’s in the carry-on that is most important —You keep the carry-on stuff intact, chances are good that no matter what happens to the baggage, you’ll still make it though the trip just fine. Your ‘carry-on’ is usually what you need for the trip… the stuff in the carry-on is your treasure. Well, this is sort of a description of motherhood, but as analogies usually do, this analogy breaks down at some point.

Motherhood’s a call to carry on. But we don’t carry on alone. O, the enemy may attempt to persuade us that we’re alone, that no one else is doing what we’re doing, that we have too much to carry or not enough help with what we’ve got to carry or that our load is heavier that other mother’s loads or worse: that our load or the work we carry is not all that important – that anyone can do it. Truth is, whatever the LORD’s given us to do is ours to do – not someone else’s to carry and do. That’s why the LORD has so faithfully preserved His Word, given us His direction and defined our roles as mothers. Many mothers attempt to carry baggage that’s not even theirs to carry –as if what they’ve got isn’t enough already. Many mothers think they’ve got to do all the lifting and carrying and, really, the LORD never intended mothers to do all that some do. O, some things are noble, even admirable, but they’re not necessarily what the LORD designed and called them to do.

So, how do we carry on? Well, I’ve come to see that carrying on is probably best defined as obedience – obedience to the will and way of the LORD and nothing else – for obedience sort of sums up the whole of the Christian walk. It’s hearing what you’re being told and doing it. And for mothers, it’s what we do (or ought to do) and what we teach (or ought to teach). As we walk with the LORD and live in obedience to Him, He enables us to hear Him and to obey Him –that’s the precious work of the Holy Spirit. As we live and walk in obedience to Him, we’re carrying on the call of motherhood. For God calls us to obey Him and He calls us teach our children as we rise up, as we lie down and as we walk along the way. A mother cannot lead children where she herself is not going; a mother cannot teach what she herself has not learned or is not learning. A mother cannot call her children to obedience if she’s not seeking that in and for herself –it’s part of that precious calling: the call to carry on.

So, precious mother, when the way is dark and the future seems bleak: carry on. When the path is rocky, windy and steep: carry on. When life seems to be endless piles –piles of papers, piles of dishes, piles of laundry, piles of toys and books and crayons, piles of dirt and piles of chores: carry on.

And when you feel you cannot go on, stop where you are, fall to your knees and carry on. Carry on to the LORD, He will be there, He will hear and He will carry you. And you will see that all the while you carry on, your cares are in the hand of Jesus and all your carrying on is in His strong hand. You will never find a time when you open the Word or fold your hands in prayer that He won’t already be there. You’ll never find a time where your prayers are not heard by the One who loves you. There will never ever be a time where you step out in faith or in obedience and not fin Him already there.

If it’s been a while since you stepped aside to pray or to read the Word or to write in your journal, taste and see: the LORD is good. He will already be there. He will welcome you with open arms – He won’t be looking at where you haven’t been, He will be looking at your “now.” In the moment you call upon His name, He will answer, He will be there. Taste and see.

Dear mother, faithful and wise, you’re called to carry on – one day at a time in the hand of the Saviour. He’s not looking at your yesterdays or even your worries about tomorrow; He’s looking at your “today” – at your “now.” All that stuff that in the baggage? Be done with fretting about it; be done with lesser things, be done with vain glory and all the trappings of the world. The enemy doesn’t want you to bask in the blessing and direction of the LORD –that’s why he seeks to distract you and weigh you down –reminding you of your failures, what you don’t have and what you haven’t done –or worse: that none of it matters, that it doesn’t matter what you do.

But today? O, today, dear mama, today’s your new beginning. Now is the day, now is the time to carry on in His name – His wonderfully strong name. Your children will see Him in you and they’ll see the Light on the path as you carry on. You have a most honourable, most noble calling: that of carrying on throughout motherhood. Be faithful. Finish well.

an entry from

Carrying on with you: in love and blessings… pamela

Chore sticks…

teacuppamela

A clean home is a happy home. I know, I know, if ever there was a guilt inducing statement, that is it! But, seriously, think with me for a moment… consider some of the very best homemaker feelings/accomplishments. Doesn’t a ship-shape-top-to-bottom tidy give you a great feeling? How about a thoroughly cleaned out garage, a freshly cleaned and ordered pantry, fridge or bedroom closet? If you stop and think about these sorts of things, you’ll probably quickly remember how great it felt and how smoothly things seemed to run in your home. Remember?

With the advent of our son getting married a couple of weeks ago, a bit of space was freed up in our home. And, well, as you can imagine (especially if you’ve got a lot of children still home), the ideas and possibilities seemed to explode and the enthusiasm to clean out, paint, rearrange and clean up bedrooms was at an all time high. And at the end of a few days, when the bulk of the work was completed, the bedrooms were nearly all set up. Fresh and clean… and happy.

I have an idea for you… something that might add a little fun to your cleaning schedule — and maybe even to help you set up a cleaning schedule and give you some time saving ideas, to give you some inspiration and to make it fun.

You’re going to need a few supplies, first. I’d suggest that you get a binder or a piece of paper that you’ll add to your kitchen binder / log / whatever. Make a list of all the different chores you know must be done. Then, go back an prioritize the list into groupings of least to most important (or vice versa). The reason I’m suggesting that you write this down in a binder is that you’ll then have a written record that you can consult every time you’re going to do seasonal chores or monthly chores. If you don’t have a kitchen binder or a home/time management binder, then, most sincerely, I’d suggest that you get one, and begin to load it up with your family/home information, plans, important lists, etc. And, yes, I do mean paper, pens and a plastic/metal 3-ring binder. You’ll keep this with your cookbooks, etc.

After you’ve written your necessary chores list and arranged them in some order of importance, then you’ll need to get some wide craft sticks or tongue depressors and two jars. Then, write the chores – individually – on the sticks. I have written with Sharpie pens so that the ink won’t run if the sticks get wet – and I can reuse them many times this way. I may give an estimated time to complete the chore – or an asterisk on the stick to indicate importance or priority.

It really doesn’t matter what you do, it’s just a matter of doing what you know you must do and determine to get those things done. This stick method is but one method you might use.

This isn’t meant to put you in some sort of chore bondage, or to dictate that you must do it this way — and, believe me, this method is not the key you’ve been searching for to get your house in order once and for all. The order — once and for all — deal doesn’t exist. But you can learn ways to bring about a semblance of order that makes for a more smoothly run home and a more orderly way of keeping and caring for the things we all need to have/use in our homes.

So, maybe you’ve got the idea of making the lists in the binder and you’ve even imagined that you could write out the chores on the sticks… now what? Simple put the sticks — as many as your chore load dictates — in a jar. And then, establish a cleaning segment of every day and pick sticks each time, do the task on the stick, move on to another and another as time allows. STOP working when your allotted cleaning time is up. Plan to work the next day and the next — starting and stopping at the planned time, and so on, until the jobs you need to complete have all been completed. Put the completed chore stick into the empty jar and see how quickly you can get the sticks transferred from the first jar to the next. After a few days, you’ll be amazed at how much you can do AND how much you’ve gotten done. Save the sticks in your cabinet for the next overall house deep-cleaning and a couple of months (you can also make chore sticks for daily work or weekly/monthly work).

This will go much faster if you’ll mobilize your troops! Seriously! Teach your children to love to work and to work hard at it! Your attitude and zeal will be very motivating for them. And the daily allotted time deal? It’s a real loving incentive and doesn’t break morale —if— you’ll but stick to it. God bless you and your clean, happy home.

What’s Pulling On Your Apron Strings?

teacuppamela What’s Pulling on Your Apron Strings?

That might sound like a strange title to the message I want to share with you today, but perhaps by the time you finish reading this letter, you’ll have an idea and perhaps realize some things you’ve been wanting to take care of for some time.

So, what’s pulling on your apron strings? You know… the thing or things that nag at you or that seem to be pulling at you from one direction or many. You may be attempting to work around your home and keep having interruptions or distractions that prevent you from accomplishing what’s really needful. You may have plans or schedules, or wish you had plans or schedules, and yet every day something, or many things pull on your apron strings and prevent you from meaningful or notable accomplishment.

I know I have these same feelings or experiences from time to time –sort of as if nothing seems to go right or nothing measurable ever seems to get done. It’s as if at the end of each week I have relatively little to show for my efforts and certainly none for the fatigue I might be feeling. Yet, my apron’s dirty and the strings are raveled at the end.

Over the years I had great ambition for great things. I wanted to spend time individually with each of the children each day; I wanted to spend time reading aloud, fixing their hair, assisting them with schoolwork, chores and prayers. I had lofty aspirations that we would do projects, tell and record stories: that I would pass on valuable stories, life-lessons and a rich heritage…

But then, many days –most days– I would come to my bedside and realize that, once again, yet another day where I’d failed to reach my glorious ambitions. Instead, we had just spent another day –another hum-drum day. Together.

Pulling at my apron strings were all the wouldda, shouldda, couldda’s and few of the atta-girl’s, way-to-go’s and wahoo’s of life. At the point I realized that all those marvelous and coveted accolades were simply unrealistic, I also realized I truly was getting all those atta-girl’s, way-to-go’s and wahoo’s of life. I truly had them… I just wasn’t seeing them, that’s all. I wasn’t seeing the “atta-girl” in my son’s: “Mom, will you fix this for me? I can’t do it.” Or, in my daughter’s: “Mama, you’ve got to write down these recipes for me or I will not ever be able to cook like you!” Or, “O, my mom will do it for you, she’s right here!” Or, probably the sweetest gift of all I just received and it was contained in a letter, reading: “Mama… You are the best friend I’ve ever had.”

See, I missed the blessings by being concerned about the unimportant things or on my failings instead of what really was important for the day.

Often, pulling on my apron strings are all the things I’ve done wrong as a mother, wife or friend. Pulling on my apron strings are the things I don’t do well or the things I don’t have (as compared with my friends) or all the ways in which my children don’t *seem* to measure up (again, compared to others’ or compared with a high ideal or whatever).

Everyday, nagging thoughts creep in and occasionally pull me here and pull me there… and even get me all tied in knots sometimes over the silliest things – all tied up over things only the LORD can take care of or only the LORD knows about. Sometimes all tied up over things I *imagine* to be so. And then, I stop and think: wait a minute… should these things be pulling at my apron strings, pulling me down in despair? Should I be letting those thoughts come in and flood my mind, or should I take those thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ.

I know this to be a truth: I have never given to the LORD –any thought, desire, motive, whatever that was then rejected by Him.

He has never yet, will never, can never: fail me. So then, I consider at thought or a pulling on my apron strings and I ask: is this of You, LORD? Or I say, I know this is not of You, LORD, and I ask You to take this thought, desire, fear (or whatever), from me and I ask You to guide my thoughts, guard my heart and mind and help me to see only You. Please hide me behind Your Cross, LORD.

O, sure, other women are going to have bigger, better, more than you or I; and sure, other families are going to have newer, brighter, more attractive homes, children, lives, accomplishments, etc., etc., than you or I. But you know what? They don’t get to be you—they don’t get to be me. You’re uniquely you created by God, saved by Him unto faith and good works. He loves you with an everlasting love and underneath you are His everlasting arms and in you is His eternal Spirit and surrounding you is His eternal joy of salvation in Christ Jesus. Wow. Now those are some pretty wonderful things. Did you know you had all those treasures tucked in the pockets of your apron?

So, next time something starts pulling on your apron strings and you know it’s not simply one of the little blessings the LORD has given you, you just reach in your pocket and pull out one of the Truths of God’s Word and His love for you.

The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee. Jeremiah 31.3

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.” 2Corinthians 10.3-6

I pray the LORD will just bless you and bless you over and over and that you will be assured of His great love for you and that He will guide your steps and guard your thoughts.

always in His hands,

from “Letters to my Sisters”