Category: Homemaking

Graciously interrupted

I consider things for which I want to be remembered in life.  Obviously, as a believer, I want to be remembered as a godly woman, I want to be remembered as a faithful wife and a loving mother.   I most want this to be observed by my husband and family —  from my bathrobe behaviour to my apron work behaviour to my garden clothes behaviour to my dress and jacket behaviour.   Regardless my outward adornment, my activity or accomplishment or present company,  I desire to be in behaviour that from the heart becomes godliness.

That’s my prayer, my aim,  my path.

A natural result or expression of godliness is graciousness.   I want to be remembered as gracious — Proverbs 11.16 says, “A gracious woman retains honour…”

Though graciousness is demonstrated in many ways,  one of the ways I want most to develop and improve graciousness is in my response to interruptions.  I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit as it’s an area I’ve needed to continually revisit, revise and improve through the years.  I’ve come to conclude that if there’s one thing a mother needs to learn, it is the skill of being gracious while being interrupted — retaining honour in the midst of an interruption.

Not until I was a mother did I realize how selfish I am/could be — it wasn’t until tasks were interrupted or put off, sleep was interrupted or until health or strength waned did I realize I was so self-centered.  It was, ironically, a wake up call for me.  Then came all the other changes and experiences that life brings.  Along the way I would come to understand biblical submission, more of motherhood and serving others.  Interruptions. Interruptions.  Interruptions.

Through a series of events, I would come to understand the importance of flexibility, of scheduling, of forbearance, of service and, ultimately, graciousness.    Training came in unlikely forms for me: the late nights, accidents, sickness, soccer practice, piano lessons and reminders to practice, lost jackets and torn seams.  These would serve to prepare me for unexpected car troubles, financial strains, hospital emergencies, deaths and other life experiences and inevitable surprises.  I’ve come to see that everyone goes through most or all of these same “interruptions” — difference is, do they go through them graciously?  Do I?

Interestingly, I’ve found that emergencies don’t feel like interruptions — at. the. time. — because they are, after all, emergencies.  Sort of like getting hit broadside in an intersection.  A heart attack.  A call from the hospital: “hurry and meet me here.” You don’t plan for it or anticipate it — so it doesn’t really interrupt you.  At the time. In those sorts of scenarios, you don’t stop and think: this sure is an interruption — and many of those sorts of things, we never look back and call them an interruption.

It’s most often little things… that’s what I’m referring to: the little, insignificant interruptions to your day, schedule or plans.

You make dinner and either everyone’s late or no one comes home or everyone’s home and a few bring friends… you planned for a few and now you have many.  You’re planning a day of housekeeping and mending — suddenly someone needs something you consider to be insignificant — but it’s not insignificant to them — your plans are thwarted.  A wonderful book, a Bible, a study, an article beckons to be read, a squabble upstairs interrupts your thoughts.  You sweep, mop and wax the floor… muddy shoes mar the shine.  Small things.  You have time to react… time to think.  You finish all the laundry… only to discover a few loads’ worth in various and sundry places.  Empty milk jug in the fridge.  One more blog to read. Empty tissue roll on the dispenser.  One more dish to wash. You’re exhausted, your teen needs to talk.  You’re on your way to the Sunday meeting, the car won’t start.  You’ve just bathed, towels on the floor, none clean on the shelf.

You have time to react… time to think.

One after another, interruptions seem to flow through the river of your life… is your response gracious? Is the Lord apparently at the helm?  Is the day bathed in promises and covered in prayer?

It’s in the little things… it’s in the big things… it’s in the emergencies… it’s in the mundane:  I want to be found to be graciously interrupted.

Doing a new thing

Based on past performance, many of us can attest that doing a new thing is hard.   This is where some of us fall off the cliff — or don’t even try!  It takes determination to not allow past performance to thwart us from trying or doing a new thing!

Doing a new thing is tough.  Especially when that new thing takes will power or money — few of us have much of either.  And,  as we age, we have this daunting fear that past results (things that were good before they stopped being good) don’t necessarily mean that today’s performance will yield the same success results.  :o(

I think the devil delights in our doubts as much a he delights in our failings… surely he does when we doubt God or doubt our faith.  But he also delights in sabotaging our efforts seek the Lord and to do good.  Sometimes he’s successful at both.  We mustn’t doubt for a moment that we do have an enemy that hates for us to yield to God, hates for us to seek the Lord — especially seeking the Lord early – hates for us to be faithful to the calling of the Lord in our lives.

I say this because I want to suggest that any attempt to do good or to do a new thing must be bathed in prayer and executed with the blessing of the Lord.  I think failing these two things is what ultimately leads to our failure in doing that new thing — and, certainly, doing it well.

Take daily Bible reading or early rising or prayer or fasting, for example,  if we attempt any in our own strength,  we’ll fail — but, we know from Scripture,  when we commit to seeking the Lord — His will and His righteousness, He will work in and through us — even though it may not look to us (at the time) to be working!

Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in Him;
and He shall bring it to pass.” -Psalm 37.5

So, as we launch out into the vast expanse of this unblemished year, this uncharted territory, we can be assured that the Lord is already here and He does, indeed, have a marvelous plan for each of us.  And all the things that face us, all the trials and temptations, all the joys and sorrows, all the successes and failures do not — will not — escape His gaze.  He is already there.

Then thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying,
This is the way, walk ye in it, that ye not turn to the right hand
and that ye not turn to the left hand.  -Isaiah 30.21

As we seek to do a new thing, we must first seek His face, take His hand and and wait! and see! if that’s where He wants to lead us.  I truly see Him doing a new thing… I want to follow Him in it… this is the first day of all our tomorrows…  O, may we do a new thing… in faith!

Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth;
shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness,
and rivers in the desert. -Isaiah 43.19

Mary Thoughts Martha Hands

I just came across a little note in my basket… and thought, this is just what I’m needing!  The reminder to have a Mary heart and a Martha mind was the gist of the note.  I’m personalizing it a bit to be: Mary thoughts and Martha hands.   I must be in the Word and in song in order that my heart and mind are stayed on heavenly things.  I must be in the Word and in song that my hands and plans are stayed on heavenly things — working at or accomplishing good things.

This is such a needful  reminder that in all my Martha-ing around our home, I must cultivate, guard and increase my Mary-ing!    I tend to get sidetracked, and as I get busy – I become myopic and outcome oriented far too often!  I’ve come to understand through a series of different experiences that I tend to focus on the job at hand instead of the people around me.  This is something I daily working to change — daily seeking to re-work in my life and home. I must stop and be Mary — I must stop and regroup remembering that in all my Martha-ing, I need be be Mary-ing along the way.  I often forget to be resting at the feet of Jesus in my work – resting at the feet of Jesus in my planning – resting at the feet of Jesus in my mothering.

Mary and Martha — in case you’re wondering at the reference of this,  it’s Luke 10.38-42

Now it came to pass, as they went, that He entered into a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha received Him into her house.  And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word.   But Martha was cumbered about in much serving and came to Him and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Bid her therefore that she help me.   And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things;  but only one thing is necessary, and Mary has chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

Instead of integrating work and worship, I often live as if the two are different compartments of homemaking.  I need to remember and guard the fact that work and worship must blend — that my work is a service of worship!  Thus: A Mary Heart and a Martha mind – Mary thoughts and Martha hands.

And so when the days are long and the tasks are many, the family is scattered and the schedules are hectic… my focus mustn’t change — my heart mustn’t change — my thoughts must remain the same: He alone is my joy and strength, He alone is my hope and my song.  So, no matter what’s going on around me, I must cultivate this by daily investing time in the Word and in prayer, daily seeking the Lord’s divine guidance and presence — daily seeking and listening to the Voice of the Lord… following His Word, rehearsing His promises, turning away from the lies of the enemy and listening to Truths in song.

May the Lord bless you in all your Martha-ing with a Mary heart and mind.

 

the endearing faces

I stared blindly at the ceiling as I lay in bed and thought of the evening I’d just spent.  Sleep didn’t seem to come easily. Or soon.  I couldn’t stop thinking of them… their tender, lineless faces, bright smiles, dark hair and the playfulness of youth in their eyes.  And, I couldn’t help but — for a moment —  wish that I were once again in the place they were last night — once again a young mother with seemingly limitless opportunities before me — a young mother with a vast clean slate before me.

As I stood there sharing with them, glancing down at my notes and back up to their faces, every now and then I would catch a glimpse of a smile or a nod or an inquisitive look and I felt inadequate to convey what I knew must be conveyed to them.  O, how I prayed that, if nothing else, I’d at least give encouragement to press on — to not give up.  So I began by sharing some thoughts on the life of Elijah and how the Lord fed him — sustained him, spoke to him — even though he seemed to often face situations that were too great for him, but the Lord fed him and he carried on the strength of that meat…

I’ll write more about some gleanings from 1 Kings another time.

So, I was sharing things I’m glad we’ve done, decisions we’ve made as a family — as a homeschooling family — through the years.  I intended to share things I regretted doing or not doing, but as I was preparing my notes, I realized that having an old mom stand before them with a list of regrets was not going to help them very much — and it certainly wasn’t going to help me at all.  I already spend too much time at the regret counter as it is.  But, on the other hand, I had to share some of the shortcomings — and, as you know, there have been many through the years — so that they could see more of my heart, God’s mercy and His grace and where I was coming from when I was exhorting them to press on.  I referenced Philippians 3.14-15

All day as I’ve worked in our home, worked at the kitchen table on math and spelling, reading and writing, I’ve  been seeing the young mother’s tender faces before me and I’ve thought on how it was in the beginning for me… the beginning of homeschooling, the clean slate days, the: We can be/do/study anything! days.

It was so impressive that they were so eager to learn — the purposeful intent of their lives.  I so wish that I had been as they.  Many had very young children, some not even “school-age,” yet, there they were: already deeply committed to the task at hand,  gathering information, tools and inspiration for the road ahead.

Knowing this, I felt then — and I feel more so, now —  a very strong conviction to be careful with their thoughts, careful with their questions and respectful of their plans.  What an honour it was to share with them things — ideas, suggestions, helps —  that just might become part of the foundation of their homes.  I hope that some of our experiences might help them and that some of the  “things we’re glad we did” just might become some of their “things we’re glad we did.”   And, perhaps, someday one of those mothers will stand before a group of beautiful, bright, lineless faced, eager young mothers starting out on the path… and she’ll be able to encourage them to press on… because she did.

What’s Pulling on Your Apron Strings

That might sound like a strange title to a message I want to share with you today, but perhaps by the time you finish reading this letter, you’ll have an idea and perhaps realize some things you’ve been wanting to take care of for some time.

So, what’s pulling on your apron strings?  You know… the thing or things that nag at you or that seem to be pulling at you from one direction or many.  You may be attempting to work around your home and keep having interruptions or distractions that prevent you from accomplishing what’s really needful.  You may have plans or schedules, or wish you had plans or schedules, and yet every day something, or many things pull on your apron strings and prevent you from meaningful or notable accomplishment.

I know I have these same feelings or experiences from time to time –sort of as if nothing seems to go right or nothing measurable ever seems to get done. It’s as if at the end of each week I have relatively little to show for my efforts and certainly none for the fatigue I might be feeling.  Yet, my apron’s dirty and the strings are raveled at the end.

Over the years I had great ambition for great things.  I wanted to spend time individually with each of the children each day; I wanted to spend time reading aloud, fixing their hair, assisting them with schoolwork, chores and prayers.  I had lofty aspirations that we would do projects, tell and record stories: that I would pass on valuable stories, life-lessons and a rich heritage…

But then, many days –most days– I would come to my bedside and realize that, once again, yet another day where I’d failed to reach my glorious ambitions.  Instead, we had just spent another day –another hum-drum day.  Together.

Pulling at my apron strings were all the wouldda, shouldda, couldda’s and few of the atta-girl’s, way-to-go’s and wahoo’s of life.  At the point I realized that all those marvelous and coveted accolades were simply unrealistic, I also realized I truly was getting all those atta-girl’s, way-to-go’s and wahoo’s of life.  I truly had them… I just wasn’t seeing them, that’s all.  I wasn’t seeing the “atta-girl” in my son’s: “Mom, will you fix this for me? I can’t do it.” Or, in my daughter’s: “Mama, you’ve got to write down these recipes for me or I will not ever be able to cook like you!”  Or, “O, my mom will do it for you, she’s right here!”  Or,  probably the sweetest gift of all I just received and it was contained in a letter, reading: “Mama… You are the best friend I’ve ever had.”

See, I missed the blessings by being concerned
about the unimportant things or on my failings
instead of what really was most important for that day.

Often, pulling on my apron strings are all the things I’ve done wrong as a mother, wife or friend.  Pulling on my apron strings are the things I don’t do well or the things I don’t have (as compared with my friends) or all the ways in which my children don’t *seem* to measure up (again, compared to others’ or compared with a high ideal or whatever).

Everyday, nagging thoughts creep in and occasionally pull me here and pull me there… and even get me all tied in knots sometimes over the silliest things – all tied up over things only the LORD can take care of or only the LORD knows about.  Sometimes all tied up over things I *imagine* to be so.  And then, I stop and think:  wait a minute… should these things be pulling at my apron strings, pulling me down in despair?  Should I be letting those thoughts come in and flood my mind, or should I take those thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ.

I know this to be a truth: I have never given to the LORD –any thought, desire, motive, whatever that was then rejected by Him.

He has never yet, will never, can never: fail me.  So then, I consider at thought or a pulling on my apron strings and I ask: is this of You, LORD? Or I say, I know this is not of You, LORD, and so I ask You to take this thought, desire, fear (or whatever), from me and I ask You to guide my thoughts, guard my heart and mind and help me to see only You.  Please hide me behind Your Cross, LORD.

O, sure, other women are going to have bigger, better, more than you or I; and sure, other families are going to have newer, brighter, more attractive homes, children, lives, accomplishments, etc., etc., than you or I.  But you know what?  They don’t get to be you—they don’t get to be me.  You’re uniquely you created by God, saved by Him unto faith and good works.  He loves you with an everlasting love and underneath you are His everlasting arms and in you is His eternal Spirit and surrounding you is His eternal joy of salvation in Christ Jesus.  Wow.  Now those are some pretty wonderful things.  Did you know you had all those treasures tucked in the pockets of your apron?

So, next time something starts pulling on your apron strings and you know it’s not simply one of the little blessings the LORD has given you, you just reach in your pocket and pull out one of the Truths of God’s Word and His love for you.

The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.
Jeremiah 31.3

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)  Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;  And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.”   2Corinthians 10.3-6

I pray the LORD will just bless you and bless you over and over and that you will be assured of His great love for you and that He will guide your steps and guard your thoughts.

always in His hands, love,  pamela

Write It All Down Before You Forget

If you spend time with me… you know it won’t be very long before you notice me writing something down.  I write lots of notes — I even write notes about notes.

Well, tonight in this “write it all down before you forget” blog entry, I actually want to encourage you to add more to your kitchen counter journal  or your kitchen log.  If you don’t have one, may I encourage you do get a notebook — preferably an inexpensive, but thick, “half sheet size” spiral notebook that you can keep in your kitchen to record your daily chores and activities, calls, appointments, lists, etc.  I know this might seem archaic to women who think palm-pilots are old relics and who don’t even use a PC anymore  — but seriously, there’s something about pen and paper — the visual and tangible.

So, what you might want to do is write down on a few different pages: lists.  You might have a “from now till year’s end” list and you might have a garden list and you might have a basic home maintenance and repair list.  These lists are sort of running lists that you’ll add to and cross off (you might reserve a section of pages at the beginning of your notebook for such lists).  Things might remain on your list for a long time — years even — these aren’t like shopping lists or activity to do lists — these are more permanent/ongoing lists.  Don’t fret over what you don’t have — just work to appreciate what you do have and take care of it.  If you cannot replace/improve it, learn to appreciate it.  Cultivate a thankful heart.  Write down “thankfulness” verses from the Bible.  That might be a page of your kitchen counter notebook.

Write it down… before you forget.

I’m suggesting this tonight because this is sort of the lull of autumn (at least here in the States) and, like the month of March, is a great time to get some things done… before the next big push.  The last big push — around here, anyway, was to get outdoors: gardening, planting, outside repairs, and then the next big push was the food preservation – jams, jellies, canning and freezing – all the “putting up” for winter.  Well, now it’s the other side… now it’s time to put everything away outside, get ready for the colder days and longer nights… it’s time to do the indoor repairs, a well stocked pantry, setting in the wood, candles, flashlights & batteries, lamp oil and other preparations and necessities.  All the things you might want to do before the next big push… celebrations and family times.  You may want to use this time for a really good deep cleaning of your home — every room, top to bottom, inside out.  Wash and iron the curtains, wash walls, ceilings, touch up paint and whatever else you might consider needing to do.

Write it down… before you forget.

And, before you forget… maybe one more list:
What were you glad you did this past year?  Write down what you’d like to repeat next year.
What were you glad you planted in the garden and yard?
What sort of garden did you envision and what really happened?
Now… write down the plans you want to hold onto for next year’s garden, next spring, next summer…

There’s a phrase and, sadly,  I know it to be so true: Fail to plan = plan to fail.
But I like this better:  Make a plan… Make a good plan… and follow through.  This is my encouragement; again, I know it to be true:  Your plans will work if you will work your plans.

Look up and write down verses on industriousness and slothfulness, hard work and laziness… these are great motivators for all of us… as we help our husbands and families.

The cool thing about notebooks is that you can still read and write in them when the power goes out or when the batteries are dead or when the phone lines are down. ;o) ♥

 

 

Dupers Duping

So, I’m drinking my tea… browsing the news (okay, yes, and checking in on Facebook), and I noticed an article about new food packaging.  Arrggghh!  If there’s a subject that’s really gotten me going lately, it is this!!  Less food in “better” packaging for more money!  Arrggghh!

Bought a box – bag – whatever, package of bathroom tissue from Costco — the marketing! Omy.  These rolls were giant rolls = like getting two regular rolls in one.  A week or so later, I’m standing there looking at the two packages.  One package contained x number of rolls, x square-inches of tissue.  This NEW!! giant roll (ahem, like getting two regular rolls in one) package had fewer square inches – for more money.   But it FELT like more — that’s what the package said.  I even took the time to jot down on my palm-pilot (well, okay, a post-it-note) the product content information.  It wasn’t enough that I could see the lesser/difference – I wanted to have my written proof.

I was going to call the company – armed with information and give them my opinion.  But I didn’t… I lost my little post it note.  And then later, I lost my nerve/incentive to call.

Then, on a couple of different occasions I was baking and noticed the saltine crackers were smaller; I was making a graham-cracker crust and I thought:  whatintheworld?  These squares are smaller, too! I opened another box – this one, newer.  Again, whatintheworld?  Already broken squares in handy take along – stay fresh – stack-packs?!?!  I do not want to take these along anywhere!  This is not handy to me!  This is not convenient to me and these are not economical stay-fresh stack packs to me!  I’m thinking: They’re not going to be around long enough to need to be kept fresh. ;o)

So, today I decided I would call the company.   On the line was someone I’m sure not born in Snohomish (but I digress).  And so, I proceeded to tell her what I thought of the handy packaging and the convenient stack packs and the economical family size – they’re neither convenient nor family size.  I told her that a recipe calling for a package of graham crackers is not going to produce same volume and so from now on, in addition to requiring the purcha$e of more boxe$, I will have to continually weigh the crackers – as I’m sure they’ll continue to repackage and reduce the volume.

I told her that consumers are not ignorant that all this handy and convenient packaging is a sly attempt to deceive consumers.  I went on to tell her this great deception is, in reality, a great insult — actually mocking the intelligence of their customers — that they’re not thinking of the customer’s convenience at all, that their packaging is not green, it’s greed!

When she thanked me for calling today, I told her I wasn’t confident my call would matter much, but that I wasn’t just calling to rant, but that I wanted them to know that I’d rather pay more (exhibit A = already do) for an honest weight and measure.  She assured me my call was important (I felt like I was on hold with GroupHealth listening to a recording).   She said they were very interested in hearing customer’s views and then reminded me that there would be some settling in the packaging.  I agreed but reminded her that I was talking about weight of the box of graham crackers, ritz crackers — not how a box of crackers or cereal looks when opened.  I told her I got that one.

I think my boys have tried that one: Ma, there’s a lot missing?!?!?!  O, it must’ve been due to settling during shipping.  O yes, boys, that must be it – silly me.

We want to believe that food companies have the consumers’ best interest at heart.  But, especially in this day and age, I’m tending to think that there’s a lot of duping going on.  It seems advertisers are working like never before to spin information to make things seem much more desirable than ever before.

So the next time you go to the store to buy a box of graham-crackers (or just about any other product)  if you haven’t noticed already, the weight/volume is less.  Again.  And, yes, the price has jumped up — on many things, quite a bit!  Consumers really are noticing these seemingly little changes. All New Packaging! Less Food! Don’t be duped by the dupers… they’re telling you they’re saving you money — and you just might buy it.  They’re keeping the height of the box the same or they’re introducing to you a new shape, a new, convenient, stay-fresh package, etc., etc.  But take another look, the box is thinner.  Those handy stack packs, those stay-fresh-stack-packs – inside are shorter.   That juice may have a new handy grab and pour design.  This only equals less volume.   This isn’t new… it’s been going on for some time… as this article shows.  In the end, they think you won’t notice anything but price.

But I know you, you’re smarter than that.

Here are a few numbers for you:

Nabisco: 1.800.NABISCO
Kellogg’s: 1.269.961/2000
Kraft: 1.847.646.200

Be clear on the concept

I snapped this photo one day when  one of our little boys was doing dishes for me and when I came in to check his progress, I noticed the dishes weren’t loaded properly — an error that was glaringly obvious  to me.  Funny thing was, it wasn’t obvious to him.  He was actually very proud of how neatly he had put the cups and glasses into the dishwasher rack.  I showed him that, while they were neat, they weren’t going to get clean inside because they would only fill with water, they would not be washed out by the sprayer beneath.

As I thought on those cups, I began to draw parallels to motherhood.  And, thus, I decided to post this photo and attach a  label to it.  Because, really, it truly does help to be clear on the concept! And so it is, unless and until we’re clear on the concept, we’re going to experience failure after failure.  And, we’ll likely want to give up.  And we may even do so!

We need to get a hold of a vision… a fruitful plan and purpose for motherhood — for our motherhood – for our mothering!  We need to seize the moment, as it were.  Because, I tell you the truth — the moments are fleeting and the time will be past before you know it!  We need to grab hold of a decision to love our families as they ought to be loved!

I genuinely believe it’s when we truly discern and determine to love and serve our families, when we begin to strive for excellence, when  we begin to grab hold of the great and precious promises of the Lord and when we seek to live in joyful compliance to His Word and His marvelous plan for our life, we will have His great blessing and encouragement and we will be joyful mothers, joyful keepers at home. But it takes a real want to!  And it takes a turning away from unfruitful things, distractions and time wasters.

Over the years, I’ve worked and reworked many plans, many routines for homekeeping… and I keep working and reworking them out as my family grows and daily activities change.  And so, it is with confidence that I share with you that there are MANY tricks you can learn and implement —and if you will— you will find you truly enjoy keeping your home! The better part of that is that your children will grow up SEEING a glad mother who ENJOYED  *BEING* a mother to her family.  I can also tell you, to my shame, that when I have NOT  diligently sought to serve and love my family, when I’ve not striven for excellence or dedication, I have failed and my family  suffered for it.  And thus, by the grace of God, I humbled myself, rededicated myself to the task and sought the Lord’s blessing — and true to His Word, He helped me, He restored my path.

As one of my daughters reminded me recently: Mama… remember how you said, your children may not remember all you did here, but they’ll remember how it felt here.  Yes, I remember saying that.  Many times.  And that’s one of the little admonitions that fuels my work and strengthens my resolve each day.

So, I just want to say to you, dear mother, you’ll do fine… just be sure you’re clear on the concept.

for the woman in the mirror

Facing the woman in the mirror…  and getting her to do what she ought:  O,  what a challenge, sometimes!!  I know this.  I know this painfully well.

And so… I want to share with you some things you might do to help the woman in the mirror. Don’t “muddle” through life… there is help and there is hope.Your tomorrows do not have to be like your yesterdays.

I’ve sometimes thought, with dread, that things will never change.  I’ve sometimes thought, again with dread, that I will never change… that I will never get a handle on this or that struggle.Every now and then, when things seem to be going swell — it seems that all of a sudden, like a strong gust of wind or a wave:  personal failures flow over me — accusations level me, fear grips me, other people’s opinions blast me.  In such times, I’m once again faced with the strong, overwhelming thought: I will never get past this.   You know, God is not the author of such a thought – the devil is the author of such a thought!!  Experience has taught me that in such times,  I need to face the trial, attack, guilt, fear, etc., etc.,  and ask what part do I have in it? What does the LORD want me to do?  And then I must yield to whatever He leads.  No matter how daunting it may seem — or how humbling.

If you’re facing troubles, dilemmas, trials, hurts, hopelessness, fear or whatever…  You may need to make some dramatic changes.  You may need to set or reset some boundaries.  You may need to completely change how you’re currently handling things. —  your thoughts, your self-talk, your schedule, your computer time, your reading materials, your food, your exercise, your conversations, etc., etc.  You’ll probably need help implementing changes.

PRAY!! Talk with the LORD.  Talk with your husband, talk with  a trusted friend.  PRAY!!  Study the Word *and* journal your studies!  Study up on the problem you’re dealing with, get help — don’t go it alone — you need to be careful to not get in a trap of defeat, of hopelessness, of worthlessness, etc.  If people have let you down or if situations are troubling you or if you’re facing depression… talk these things over with your husband and/or trusted friend.  Trust the Lord with all these things.

If there are things in your life, patterns of living, etc., that don’t bring glory to God or honour to your husband and family — confess those things as sin and repent of those things .  Set your mind to CHANGE THOSE THINGS.  Get off that path a day at a time, a step at a time.

Make a list of things you need to do.  Add to that list the things you want to do.  Arrange that list into a daily routine.  Print that list out and follow it.  Everyday: consult the list in the morning, check off the things you accomplish and review what’s left to do; set about doing them at the first opportunity.  Determine to not be deterred from doing what you know the Lord has called you to do.  Others may do things differently, others may mock you, the enemy may mock you, others may question what you’re doing – you may even be or feel rejected… but if the Lord has called you to do something, do it heartily – as unto Him.

Do good things:  good things for your husband, good things for your family, good things for you.  Doing good will require sacrifice and will likely require repentance.  Doing good may be painful or  even lonely at first. Whatever the “good” is that you’re called to do, you can be assured  if the LORD has directed it, He *will* supply for you.

If the Lord is speaking to your heart today — touching on things that need to go or things that need to be done or changed — TODAY is the day to take your first step of obedience to the Lord and yield to His call on your life.  Today is the day of salvation.  Today is the day to start doing the things you know you ought to do.  Follow the Lord today.

Seek the LORD — seek wisdom.
You will find Him and you will find peace and joy.
Things might not seem to change right away.
Things might take time to set in order.
Your life will not always be the same as it is today;
There will be another chapter.

The Lord will work all these things together for good.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
Lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him and
He will make your path straight.