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A new day

stbxThroughout the seemingly long afternoon I received surgery updates from the nurses and soon I would hear the words I longed to hear:  He’s doing fine.  After Dr. Ryan explained a few specifics about the surgery, he said Wes was very cooperative throughout the surgery.  I still wonder what that meant. 😉  Then he asked if I had any questions.  I thought, Owow — I ought to have some questions — I’ve had all afternoon to think of questions — surely there are some important questions one would ask at this point.  All I could say was, It’s a new day… I don’t know what questions to ask.  I thanked him for saving Wes’s life.   I had nothing else,  just:  Thank you.  Thank you.

I had been saying that to the Lord… This is a new day for usThis is a new day.  Thank You for doing this, Lord.  Thank You…  sort of like when we take the cup of salvation, all we can really say is: Thank You.

A new heart also will I give you,
and a new spirit will I put within you:
and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh,
and I will give you an heart of flesh.
ezekiel 36.26

To which we truly can only say: Thank You.
Thank You spiritually, thank You physically.

I’m thankful the Lord never wastes a thread.  I’m thankful His ways are only good all the time.  I’m thankful He goes before us and there is nothing hidden from Him, nothing He does not see, nothing He cannot do — no purpose of His is thwarted by any means.  The Lord did me a loving favour four years ago to allow me to see His merciful, healing hand.   Early that warm July morning, I’d been on my face before the Lord and knew with certainty that if He would choose to heal our son if He would choose to take him home that that fifty/fifty chance of survival the doc was offering was a win/win.

I had fainted, unless I had believed to see
the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
–ps 27.1

Out of surgery now and getting Wes settled in his room, the nurse told me I might want to wait a bit, that it might be a startling sight to see my husband on a ventilator and that he would look a bit different due to some swelling and that there would be a lot of equipment and tubes and things…  I nodded to her and thanked her — and inside I thought: I stood beside my son… I know I want to stand beside my husband.

Many many times through the years when hard things come, the Lord has taught me to take in what’s happening and to watch and wait… and to tuck it all away.   I’ve repeated to myself many times, this is so big… you’re going to need this… someday you’re going to need to look back on what the Lord did here (and here, and here, and there, and there).  You’re going to need this.  

I could see that even though he was still heavily sedated the pain was tremendous.  Over the next hours he would have the vent removed and reality would set in… he was going to have a painful recovery period.

Our children and grandchildren had gathered in the waiting room by this time.  It was quite a sight… could’ve been a wedding a funeral, a surgery or a World Cup game there on the television… family all standing around talking together.  One of the boys brought in several boxes of pizza and they were all strategizing what to do next, how they’d get all Wes’s  pool jobs done and who would do what in the weeks ahead.  There was so much work to do — I wish the scene could’ve recorded for Wes.

Through the course of the evening they all had opportunity to go in a few at a time and stand beside him, to talk to him and hold his hand.  His tender smile and recognition was comforting to each one of them — their short visits would be repeated throughout the night.

wesafterheartsurgery

I decided to go home for a few hours late that night… and as I drove across the trestle, it began to sink in what all had transpired that day — how the Lord had very clearly directed the path, how He’d answered that humble prayer so specifically and how He’d provided “just what the doctor ordered.”  I say it began to sink in… but I’m not actually sure even today that I grasp it all.  But this I know:  it was a new day and once again Providence did rise before the sun.

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4 comments to A new day

  • Christy

    I have read your blog and enjoyed it for years! You have made a big difference in several different areas of my life, and I have greatly appreciated the encouragement and inspiration you have offered over the years! I am so sorry to read about your husband. Your attitude and response to what is happening is SOOO encouraging. He (and you) have been in my prayers these last few days!! Last year my dad had 5 heart attacks within a 3 month period (he’s had a total of 7 now. 2 from previous years) It was such a scary time. As I look back The Lord used it all for HIS good!! But I still wish at the time that my faith would’ve been as strong and evident as yours!!! My dad is doing wonderfully now, he has a defribulator and a pace maker. Each of our days is truly a blessing from The Lord!! Thank you again for your amazing example!! You and your family will continue to be in my prayers!!!

    Christy

  • Nancy

    Dearest Pamela, I’ve read your blog for years. The first Christian one I discovered. This Lutheran still finds good stuff on your website.
    While I am glad to see new posts, I am concerned that they are about Wes’s health. Praise God that he made it through surgery. By the way, I would have had tons of questions for the doctor, but none of them would have been the right ones! May God keep Wes, you and your family in peace during this time.

  • Ahhhhh, just reading your thoughts here reminds me how I miss you… among many things, I: miss your encouragement, miss your insights, miss your creativity, miss your industriousness, your smile, your daughters, your kindness… many other things.

    I hope you and your family are doing well, that you’re continuing to have a fruitful ministry and that the Lord is sustaining you day by day!
    Thank you for your love & kindnesses. I’ll forever appreciate these many things.

  • Lanita Noa

    Pamela,
    Wow, I don’t know what else to say. You are an amazing woman. You have been through so much the past several years and still you are so optimistic about life. Of course, I know where your outlook on life comes from. It is a blessing to know you and see how you handle crises. I don’t know if I could stand up under the things you have endured and still be so positive about life. You truly are an inspiration. I am so thankful that Wes is doing so well and that you were blessed with doctors to know exactly what needed to be done and when. What a blessing you have in your children and grand children too, for them to be there to step up and take care of their Dad’s work is truly a sign of the love they have for him, as well as showing how well they were raised.
    When that photo of Wes in the hospital popped up on Pinterest, I was really hoping that it was from the last heart attack he had. But I prayed anyway until I found out that it wasn’t. I will continue to pray for a complete recovery for him and for continued strength and wisdom for you.

    Love,
    Lanita

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Thank you for joining me here today, may the Lord bless you and your home.