Beginning. Again.

[cp_dropcaps]B[/cp_dropcaps]eginning.  Just typing this word makes me want to get up from the table and fix a cup of coffee.  Not as in: lemme get a cup of coffee, rub my hands together and get warmed up to type.  No, beginning as in:  I’ve done so many beginnings. This, in itself, often signals the unintentional, subconscious beginning of the end for me.

But I want to do this… I want to write this blog — I want to finish what I’ve started.  Time’s slipping by and I want to finish well.

It’s hard to believe that all this stopping and restarting, starting and stopping has been going on for over seven years – and also that I began blogging around 2002.  Not like women power-blog today, but just blogging slices of life and views of the day. Not a monetized blog or even a theme blog — again, just blogging slices of life.

Two things bring me to this point.

[cp_dropcaps]O[/cp_dropcaps]ne is a small beginning back on the road to more sensible (or conscious!) eating.  See, I fell off the THM wagon a couple of years+ ago… you know, kind of keeping my eye on the THM-shore as my boat slowly floated further and further away until I could no longer pretend to have a daily eating plan — I gained weight and lost confidence.

[cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]It’s totally God’s great grace.  And I know it.[/cp_quote]Many times I decided to get back on track only to fail by mid morning. Months would go by.  By the grace of God I’ve been able to stay on track all day, every day and I’ve determined in prayer that if/when I fail, I’m going to get up and press on.

[cp_dropcaps]T[/cp_dropcaps]he other was an event that leveled me — disappointed, embarrassed, and discouraged me — an event that sent me to the net searching for articles for help, hope, encouragement, and instruction how to deal with that event. And then I thought: what would I say to a woman who found herself searching for help, hope, encouragement, and instruction how to deal with a life event?  Well, I’d want to help her — I’d want to pray for her, point her to the Word, tell her it will work out and she’ll one day see it as a blessing and maybe even one day be thankful for it.  I’d tell her she’d smile again, she’d carry on again, she’d find joy again.

That was well over a year ago.  I’m more sure of it today.  And that’s why I want to “begin again” writing this blog.  It may just be a tad bit cathartic for me — but if that’s the case (and you’re encouraged somewhere along the way) that’ll be fine.

It’s a beginning. ♥




3 thoughts on “Beginning. Again.

  1. Oh, Pam! I could have written this myself and it’s just what I needed in this extremely desperate moment! Today has been awful! I, too, have fallen off the THM wagon and every other wagon that I’ve been on for the past decade or more and now it’s worse than ever. I’m trying to get back on track in every area, but today has been so difficult. You have no idea how much this post has ministered to me. Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone and that there IS hope!!! Bless you!

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