I haven’t written in awhile… well, at least not here on my blog—mostly bcz I’ve not really had motivation to write. Words… gazillions of words are posted day after day and so many are worthwhile—but in the heaps of gazillions of words so many worthwhile things are buried. I receive and delete entries every day. You probably do, too. I guess I’ve not wanted to add to the heaps of words — or to the trashbins of email accounts, either. I love to write. I love to share what the Lord is doing. But I’m also really insecure about writing. Especially knowing there are so many talented writers out there, putting out polished entries complete with photos and commendations. I don’t have a whole lot of that. But one thing I have is a passion to share what the Lord has done, is doing and how gracious and merciful He is and how great His love is for me. And for you — for us all.
All I know of tomorrow is that Providence will rise before the sun.”
Day after day I saw that quote on the computer screens all around the hospital. In the emergency room. In the waiting rooms. In the private rooms. It had such a profound effect on my thinking. I feel as though the Lord had that quote for me to see over and over again so that I would walk through each day with confidence that He was going before me — that no matter what happened, my times are in His hands: He only does all things well; He loves me; He has each experience in hand for my good and His glory. And over the course of many days, I would see Providence going before me.
Nearly three weeks ago, I called my husband, as I customarily do in the afternoons, to say hello, to see how his day was going and to see when he’d be home for dinner. That Wednesday afternoon was no different — except that our son answered the phone when I called. Not necessarily thinking it strange, I asked how things were going… he related that dad wasn’t feeling well. Never once assuming something different, I just thought that they’d had something bad for lunch or whatever. Not until my husband drove in and started out of the truck did my thoughts immediately change — suddenly spliced into my movie were the words, “are you having a heart attack?”
Over the next several hours we would go through a very familiar process of waiting and waiting. Later that night, settled into his room, we’d hear more familiar words and assumed we knew the next procedure. I was unprepared but strangely not surprised by the doctor’s report and diagnosis after the heart cath procedure. When another cardiologist came in to talk with my husband about what was needed, my husband said he’d be able to schedule the procedure in sixty or ninety days or so… it just wasn’t a good time for it right now. Heart attacks are funny things… you never know when they’re going to happen and they sure take you by surprise. And, they’re inconvenient.
Being that our situation wasn’t all that conducive to scheduling a $urgery of that magnitude, we determined to pray… to seek the Lord and His very clear direction as to what we ought to do next. What should we do next? There were lots of ideas, lots of conversations, lots of opinions, but we clearly needed the Lord’s precise direction. We prayed He would make our path very plain. And He did.
Providence did, indeed, rise before the sun.
Tell ya ’bout it next time.