I was reading Cindy’s Blog and sort of felt compelled to leave a note for her in her comment section. Now, she didn’t need my input – surely all the other entries were sufficient, but I was compelled, nonetheless. She had set up her writing in such a manner as to almost induce others to think of their own ‘lists’ and it was very effective. So much so, that at this point I am thinking of many more entries… but I’ll just leave it at what I already posted. She titled her blog entry “Older Mothers of the World Unite. I originally typed Untie. so… here I go: Untied. Or United. Whatever.
I often think of her quote: “Ideas have consequences” and find myself saying that here at home from time to time.
So, this, quoted from Cindy’s site:
Since Amy (Pray for Amy. She is STILL pregnant.) sent even more young mothers over here I thought it would be FUN to get really honest. I thought maybe the older moms could tell the things that bug them when they see mothers with young children. I thought this would be a lot of fun and it would also be a way to plumb the ultimate depths of memory loss and truth telling. If there is one thing I have learned from blogging it’s that negativity sells
To get things rolling, I will list ten things I hate to see young mothers doing: (and then she listed them here) …”
And now, Here’s what I wrote in response to Cindy’s comments:
This is funny, Cindy… I was just having this conversation with an *old* ;o) friend of mine. I don’t know if I’ve got a top “Ten things I hate to see young mothers doing.”
When I see a mother with young children_________.
1. …and the child is fussy, angry, whiny and the mother make endless excuses that or why he/she is so tired. (it’s your number 9 – but I suspect your list order changes as situations warrant.)
2. …and the toddler is wearing a diaper that is nearly down to his/her knees and is filled with about a quart or two of fluid. (o, and the mother says she likes how absorbent that brand of diaper is.) Ack!
3. …and the mother is *counting!* in some attempt to quell the disobedience(!?!?!) When? Surely not when she gets to ‘3’ or ’10’ Young mothers: don’t count! Please. Teach counting at the table with pencil and paper, beans or chocolate chips. But don’t count as a method of discipline. There’s a proper method for that. Use it early (and often) if necessary.
4. …and the child is emptying the cabinets or shelves or whatever and the mother makes excuses for her child’s “curiosity” and “busyness.”
5. …and she asks cranky child in the shopping cart if they want to go home? It goes something like: “We are so going home if you don’t stop that. I shouldn’t have brought you here. I’m not going to buy you anything. I told you you can’t have it. Okay. but I am not getting you anything else. Do you want to go home. You are going to be in so much trouble. I’m going to spank you. Okay. You’re not getting these. I’m going to take you home.” They don’t want to go home, Mama. They want their own way. Don’t talk, Mama. Act.
6. …and they think it’s everyone else’s children who are acting up or being rude – and that the trouble surely could not have been their child’s fault. 0ooo. (take this from a mom of angelic and naughty ones)
7. …and the mama has been duped into believing the latest hype… and is worn out, unsure, is a over-confident yet insecure and stays neurotically busy doing all the right stuff… just right and on schedule, wants all the right equipment – wants all the right clothes – all the right play groups – the right books – the right educational toys – the right pediatrician – the right carrier – the right order, schedule, and terms and yet doesn’t realize it’s not all the ‘right stuff’ that matters most. Relax. Most all the stuff that ‘seems’ most important just isn’t. Listen to an older mom: most all of that stuff doesn’t matter. What matters is: time with you… time hearing stories, making something, walking, talking, laughing, painting, colouring, praying, singing, mattering to you… that’s what’s important. Really.
8. …yep – flat headed babies.
9. …speak in third person to the child.
But you know what I’m hating maybe the most? This trend I’m seeing in moms… it’s flippant or sarcastic or whatever – it’s a way young women are dealing with their families that is not nurturing and loving but is oftentimes offhanded, surly, using innuendos to make comments or requests. TV sitcom coarseness and mannerisms have crept into homes and many mother’s attitudes are not tenderhearted – gentle, kind, patient – but cocky, even caustic at times – about the ‘kids’ and about the fathers or husbands. Women have poor attitudes about their children, their husbands and their home-life.
So, number 10 – but probably number one… I’m not seeing the majority of young moms as joyful mothers of children (psalms 113).
But, Cindy, I’m pretty certain your readers are joyful – joy-filled mothers of children. I’ve seen this to be the case. Thanks for the good topics you bring to the table.”
So, this top-ten listing from older mothers could go on and on… so, if *you* feel like posting *your* top ten… go ahead, feel free to do so. This older mom has forgotten so much … maybe you have some better ones.