The Way I See It

stbx.jpgOr, actually, the way I figure it is that I’ve bought enough Starbuck$ mochas to be invited to submit quotes for their cups. I know, I know… it is rather presumptuous of me to think I’ve got a running shot at the competition. But, I mean, really… have you read some of the quotes? Now, actually, there have been some rare occasions I’ve gotten a cup with a quote worth framing. Seriously. However, most of the time, I don’t find the quote worth the cup it’s printed on… and surely not a filled cup.   Okay, okay… enough of that rant.  Sometimes I laugh out loud when the caption on the front of the cup catches my eye. I have to laugh… it says: Careful, the beverage you’re about to enjoy is extremely hot. I think: Hmmm; I hadn’t noticed! Must be the paper band around the cup.

So… my husband came home from meeting with the men in our fellowship. Yep… $bx is one of the best little places in town to talk and study the Word. It’s comfortable and warm… and, amazingly, not too busy at night. Now, Sunday morning, on the other hand: total mayhem! Really. My husband came in and I just had to give him a hug and take in the delicious aroma of café latté! And… he had just enough plain coffee remaining in his cup for me to heat it a bit and feel like I enjoyed a whole cup! I also wanted to read:

The Way I See It #238

quotegraysmall.gif Have you noticed that dogs are the new kids?
You take a walk with your kid and your dog, but
nobody says, What a cute kid!” nstead they say,
“What a cute dog! What’s his name? Is he a rescue?”
Maybe if I put a collar and leash on my kid
someone will notice her.”
Judy Gruen
Humorist and author of The Women’s Daily Irony Supplement

I thought… Why, yes I have. I have noticed that for a long time.  Dogs (or pets) are the new kids.  All over, women are being duped into believing that that nurturing, loving, homemaking desire they have deep down inside can actually be fulfilled by a pet. Women are being sold a lie… and they’re buying it, too: that a pet can be just like a baby. You’ve probably seen it too. A young couple gets married and they’re not ready for a family (so they ought not be married – ooops, I digress), but they have this longing… so they get a pet. They have a baby shaped longing in their hearts… but then they fill it: with a dog. They take the pet everywhere.  They call the pet their baby and each other: mommy and daddy. They buy special things for it and then they have a portrait made and send it to you for Christmas and you have to hang that picture of that little “family” on your fridge. Yep – have to. Just think of how hurt they’d be if they came over to your house and saw that you didn’t respect their “family” enough to post their portrait.

We’ve had many pictures on our fridge over the years. They’re great conversation starters, too. But you know… they can also be prayer reminders, too. I pray for them… pray the LORD will bless them and fill the longing of their heart. Honestly, I genuinely believe that women have been sold a bill of goods and have been educated to believe contrary to God’s wonderful design, conditioned to ignore the longing they have to nurture and taught to accept the counterfeit. For years I’ve received prayer requests from women who put off childbearing and then ache month after month, year after year: praying and waiting for conception that they had previously fought.

So, yeah… I have noticed that dogs are the new kids. The way I see it? Believers need to live otherwise.



7 thoughts on “The Way I See It

  1. My words “hurt those who may have been blessed differently than” me… Please read my words. I’m in no way thinking less of those who have been blessed differently than me. Red herring. I always think it’s interesting that Christians who hold strongly to a particular clearly written mandate of Scripture are thought to be wrong, insensitive, narrow and self-righteous — “way off the mark.”

    No one’s thinking less of your calling. No one. If I were a single woman writing this blog, naturally my words would be from a different perspective. But you know what? I would hope that I would not teach contrary to God’s Word. I would teach the same thing — only the angle would be different. I am not any longer bearing children… but you can be sure I will still teach what God’s Word says about younger women bearing children. Read my second reply to you. You’ll see that my *original* post was written about married women… married women who have been educated to believe a lie and who alter or deny the God-given maternal desire within.

    As I’ve heard some say: I don’t write the mail, I just deliver it.

    Obviously I am simply talking to women about what the Word clearly teaches. When the Word clearly directs women to “…be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands…” Then I have to believe that that’s just what God wants us to do. And I’m going to take a stand further and say that those who reject His plan for women are in error. Does this mean that the woman who is NOT married is in violation of God’s Word or His plan? NO. Am I coercing others to think less of you bcz you are not bearing children or are not married? You think I’m coercing others to think less of you bcz I am elevating the calling of motherhood over pet-care? O for goodness sake, are you kidding? NO—that is NOT what I am saying — is not what I have said. In fact, I was and am very, very careful to state my positions about women in the context of marriage.

    Those who are not married, are under God’s authority – their father’s authority and, of course I would NOT be talking about children and unmarried women. You know, as arguments go, trouble begins when the topic or original thought/intent is tossed out/disregarded and new arguments are introduced in place of the original. So I’d say that talking about the souls of the little creatures, or even to say that I “think less of [your] calling” or that your contribution is less — well those are red herrings. I never said or intimated that another calling is a lesser calling—if it truly is a calling of the Lord.

    I will say again that married women have been duped into believing lies and have redirected their maternal God-given instincts to believe that *animals* are the same as children – again as I stated in my second response to you: I am not talking about women who for whatever reason cannot/could not bear children and yet have a pet or ten. They are not the same. Now does that mean that a woman – children or no – who loves kittens, for example, is wrong? By no means. But to think that animals and children are the same? They are not. Do pets bring enjoyment to their owners? I’m certain they do.

    When I see a cat gazing off in the warm comfort of a sunbeam, I know that in a split second they’ll lick their paws or chase a squirrel. I don’t know if they are communicating with the LORD or not… the Bible doesn’t appear to address that. But I will say that the Lord died for the souls of men. Beyond that… boy-o-boy… I don’t know.

    With all due respect, I cannot believe you think that I am inferring that I think less of you bcz the Lord has chosen to use you to care for animals or worse that bcz you are not married you have a lesser calling. You haven’t read my writing if you think that. I will not, however, start writing what’s contrary to God’s Word simply bcz women are living contrary/differently and seem happy to be doing so and are offended when an older married woman writes about things that are clearly taught in Scripture.

    You, by your own admission, say you’d love to be married. You see? We think much the same. You’d love to be married, you’re willing to be married— You’re not determining to *not* be married. Are you fulfilling God’s plan for your life? YES! you are. Is it less? NO! If you are obeying the LORD, it’s THE SAME. Obedience doesn’t have levels… obedience is obedience. But may I say, again, with all due respect, the bond you have with pets is *not* the same as the bond you would have with human souls. The bond you have with pets is not the same as the bond you would have with a husband. I’m not even going to go on to state the obvious there – but may I say, it would be so significantly different it is beyond comparison.

    Has the Lord sent you a booby prize? By no means. First, your story is not finished. Second, He has and will have for you the most perfect way *you* will/can/should bring *Him* glory. Your worth to Him is not what else He gives you—it’s *you.* The Word teaches us to have dominion over the animals. Are the little creatures less than man? Of course they are. They are animals. Do they need care and protection? Of course they do. Do I respect that? Of course I do. But animals are not children – they were not given to women to be a complete substitute in childbearing or motherhood. That’s the whole point of my original argument.

    But women are being educated otherwise.

    I’m not writing just to prove points, or to have the last word or whatever. I’m simply writing to you bcz I respect you.

    very sincerely, pamela

  2. Okay, so I see our difference. I can see the Lord in the eyes of my little creatures the same way one can see the Lord in the eyes of a little child. Maybe the child or the animal are unable to understand on our more advanced level what that means. But maybe they can. Maybe when you see a cat staring off in the warm comfort of a sunbeam they are communicating with the Lord in a way we can’t or don’t understand.
    But I just want to say that although I’m sure you don’t intend it, your words hurt people who may have been blessed by the Lord differently than you because His choice for us does not include an immediate human family. I hope my bond with the little souls God sends my way is not less than they are if he chose me to have human children. Would He really be so cruel as to give me a “booby” prize like that? I don’t think so. I am not lacking because the Lord has seen fit to give me the purpose of seeing after his “lesser” creatures, not human children and a husband. Does that make my contribution less? Sure I’d love to have a family of my own but I would hate to think someone like you would coerce others into thinking less of my calling simply because it doesn’t include as many humans.
    I think that’s where I find the disconnect with your posts. You are not clear in pointing out that the Lord blesses us all differently. Yes, if you are so guided and put on the path to parenthood you need to hear that call! But, Jesus doesn’t think less of me because he chose me to devote my life to caring for his furry creatures even if YOU consider these dear creatures less than man. I enjoy many human relationships but I know in my heart I am called to devote myself to caring for the sweet innocnet creatures God was kind enough to bless us with.

  3. Touché, Elaine, touché. The iron is sharp.

    Well… so, hmmmm… well, the Lord found His way into this once hard heart and He opened my eyes to The Real Truth. Then along the way… eleven little souls have found their way into my heart and they, each one, opened my eyes to more of the real truth.

    My point about the animals is that the love and protection and communication is not the same as human family as they are not moral or spiritual. I attempted to be understanding that (I’ll use dogs as an example) pets are comforting, protecting to a degree, and etc., etc. But I’ll maintain that a dog cannot fill or fulfill that deep longing that individuals have to communicate, understand and be understood, love and be loved, cherish and be cherished in return, respected, remembered, honoured, revered, esteemed highly. A pet cannot do these things. A pet cannot reason, have original, meaningful two way communication, achieve dreams, write music, poetry, or worship the LORD. We do all of these things with our children. We hold them, nurse them, pray for them, help them achieve that which they were created to achieve and we walk with them along the way… exchanging love, creating memories, consoling or praising them along the way and as they grow and mature, they do the same in exchange. They create, imagine, give, build, pray, grow, design, work, trust, understand truth, reason and consider logical things. Pets cannot do these things – though many attribute these moral qualities to animals. They are not moral beings. They were not created as such. Man(kind) was created in the image of God for His glory. Man(kind) was given dominion over the animals. These are God’s original plans, designs, purposes. Now, man(kind) seeks to alter, destroy, redesign the original perfect plan. But no matter what man(kind) does, God still is the Master.

    The LORD Jesus lived, died, rose again and sits at the right hand of God, ever making intercession for us. We know Him spiritually, we discern spiritually, morally, physically. Animals do not, can not do this. So, while you can have a love for your dog or whatever, and I do not deny the fact that people love their pets. I understand it and respect it/them. But this doesn’t mean pets are the same as people or children, in particular. My original point was that women have been educated to believe that there are substitutes for “motherhood” or what I might say are counterfeits to motherhood. They have a longing, a natural, God given, maternal drive and instinct and unless they’ve been educated otherwise, the fulfillment comes by way of bearing and nurturing children. The completion comes of doing or being that which they/we were created to do and be. Unless educated otherwise, this natural love will be unreservedly given to offspring. The love will blossom, increase, be reciprocated and will grow through the years of mutual affection. Such is not the case with pets.

    I have written posts on animals in the past. Well, actually, my comments have largely been food chain related. And as far as their emotional lives? I know… I get what you’re saying. Cats live at this house. People here love and feed them. The cats respond. Come back for more. The people are delighted. I get it; really, I get it.

    But I also know the truth.

  4. “ECCLESIASTES 3:19-21
    Man’s fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath, man has no advantage over the animal. Everything is meaningless. All go to the same place; all come from dust and to dust all return. Who knows if the spirit of man rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?”
    Oh, I sure hope if you plan to make a post on animals you do some research on their emotional lives. I am not invested enough in this debate with you to point out the endless stories of animals who love, protect and communicate with humans. But I will pray that a sweet little soul will find it’s way into your heart and open your eyes to the real truth.

  5. Whew. Strong opening thought you have there. There’s a reason for the phrase iron sharpens iron… both are at least rock hard and both are necessary for the sharpening of the other. For any weaker, one would crush the other or damage the other.

    So… my soft answer to turn away wrath: I’m glad you wrote. I’m glad to be sharpened – I need it. Whew, by the way… I sure wish you’d come for coffee someday. I’m not so sure we’re all that different. I would also like to have the opportunity to have you spend time with children who are fun to be with, children who don’t throw hysterical fits… but would seek to make your stay comfortable. They would listen to you… set out water for your dog and probably ask you if they could take it for a walk. And you know… if the LORD should give you a child… I’m telling you now, no matter what you think today… the child would be the *first* thing you would want. Trust me – okay, maybe you couldn’t trust me, but the child is still the first ‘thing’ you’d want. Want. Really. And you know what? You words in the first paragraph, if spoken by another, well… you’d refute them faster than lightning. And with good reason.

    Okay… I don’t ever say it’s our duty to procreate – never said it, never will. But I would say that it’s our duty to be used of God for His intended purpose for our lives in whatever way HE chooses. That may mean He would give us children and that may mean He would have another plan. But the way I see the Word is that it’s His doing and our obedience to Him and to His design and calling. I had a specific purpose for writing in regards to the “The Way I See It” quote and that is to, in a way, agree with the author of that quote, and then to go on to state a couple of thoughts regarding what I am seeing, in regards to pets and women not wanting to have children (for unbiblical reasons – and that’s not a self-righteous judgment call). I am seeing women decide to not have children for selfish reasons… and I’d likely be judged for a comment like that but… I will stand by it.

    I am not unhappy with my life…. and truly am not seeking to only highlight parts of the Bible that validate “my” position – but, rather, I truly am seeking to be a voice —among many— voices women hear. I am seeking to stand up for the Word… to stand up for the faith, to stand up for God’s marvelous design of women, marriage, family, home, children, and future and past generations of faithful mothers who love the LORD and seek to nurture children who will follow Him and tell of His marvelous works.

    I don’t share what I do in order to have others think highly or otherwise… I share what I do bcz the LORD has given me a heart to do so. I share what I do bcz I’m not where I was yesterday and I’m not where I will be tomorrow and hopefully, by His grace, I might encourage another sister along the way with the kind of encouragement I receive daily… in prayer, in His Word and through the writings of other sisters. Many of us didn’t or don’t have very much encouragement to live out the truths of God’s Word… and yet, we know His Word is living and its truths timeless.

    We know that, as women, that what we are instructed to follow in Titus2 is for today… was for yesterday and is for tomorrow – same with Proverbs and Proverbs 31, in particular. I want to proclaim it’s true. I want to share and rejoice with others on the path. That’s why I write… it’s not for brown-nosing… how sick is that?!

    C’mon, now, I am not able/intending/trying to speak for God… but I am able to speak of Him and tell of His glorious, merciful kindness on this one woman. His thoughts on the words of His book… well… they’re right there for everyone who will read them… and He says His Word will not return void. I surely can testify that this is true. As far as feeling sorry for women who deny motherhood? I do. I will continue to feel sorry for them because they (and I don’t know if this is you) are denying God’s marvelous design. I am *not* talking about women who, for whatever reason (health/disability/infertility), cannot bear children. I am not talking about women who are past the time of bearing. I am not talking about women for whom God’s direction has not included marriage. I am specifically talking about women who, for the sake of convenience, physical beauty(?), pragmatism, or whatever other selfish reason, destroy life through abortion or birth-control pills, etc. and yet…. have that void filled with a pet – a pet that they treat as a baby. Not a pet they treat as a pet. A pet they use as a replacement for a child. Not a pet they enjoy as a pet. A pet is an animal… it is not a child that they will teach and raise up for the Glory of God.

    A child, unlike a pet, will carry on their family name, proclaim the goodness and glory of God, tell of the Good News of salvation and bring glory and honour to His name, draw men to God. A pet will not provide for its owner, it will not nurture its owner, it will not converse, console, cook for or take pictures and recordings that will be enjoyed in future years, a pet will not understand the owner’s needs and have the great blessing to help the owner with what only a mother/father/wife/husband/brother/sister/son/daughter can/does. Ask someone who longs for companionship… ask someone who is dying … ask someone who longs to be married. Ask someone who misses the loving caress of their spouse. Ask a mother who has lost a child… no pet fills what a person fills. They have no soul… they have no capacity to love humanly speaking… O—there is so much that could be / must be said in this matter… I couldn’t articulate all of this when I was writing about women substituting pets for children.

    O, I must say, I do understand that a pet may be/bring many things to its owner – this, I will not deny. But a pet is a pet is a pet. A child is not a pet. A pet is not a child. That’s all I’m trying to say. Really. And child is not a barnacle. But I must say… I do pray our children will cling to The Rock. So in a sense… maybe you are helping me with a teaching tool here… I will tell the children tonight about barnacles… about them clinging to rocks and ships.

    Thanks for writing. I needed this. May God bless you and encourage you. Feeling sharpened —-pamela

  6. Sorry Pam, you’re way off the mark here.
    My pets don’t run into others at the store. They don’t scream and go into hysterics when they don’t get what they want, piercing the ears of everyone unfortunate to be within earshot. I am not in the way with a stroller, acting like my spawn gives me the right of way. I can drive a car that others can see around and not get crushed by. How is saving the world from the annoyances that are children not thinking of others? But if YOU desire those little barnacles more power to YOU.
    Please, don’t waste your self righteousness feeling sorry for me. I am an intelligent person. I am not being “sold a bill of goods”. I am happy. The last thing I would want is a child. Although I am most likely able to conceive (I’ve never tested it).
    This is the path God has chosen for ME and I am so grateful for His wisdom. Pamela (I’m sure your fawning minions will disagree and brown nose you accordingly) the Lord has different paths for us all. It seems to me you are constantly trying to talk yourself into thinking your particular path is “right” by questioning the paths of others. Why can’t you that accept your own life is the right path for you but God might have different ideas for others? Are you THAT unsure or unhappy with your life that you have to talk everyone else into doing exactly what you’re doing to justify your choices?
    And for each quote from the bible about our “duty” to procreate, I ask you to refute one of the items quoted from the “bad” parts of the bible from the website I sent you previously. Wanna start with the slavery ones or maybe rape? Because you certainly think that you’re able to speak for God on this Earth I’d like to hear His thoughts on those words in his book.

    Oh and “Christian Faith” why would assume the intentions of pet owners? I take the charge of caring for the pets The Lord has blessed me with very seriously. He trusts and loves me enough to send me sweet wounded souls who need love and tenderness. And that fills me with a joy you’ll sadly never know. And I don’t know anyone who tosses pets away like that. It’s every bit as rare as people with children who would do the same. I also certainly don’t “strutt my stuff for all to see”. Does doing that come with pet ownership? I didn’t know that.

  7. And you would think that some of these girls would see the obvious but their too busy strutting their stuff for all too see. A child is so…not cool these days! Must get a dog. At least there is no guilt when you have to leave them at home because they (the dog) got to big for the handbag. Just get a new one. So typical of our society, don’t you think?

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