I have a new friend. And believe me… I didn’t instantly like her… she was just… hmmmm too… too. O, she hasn’t done anything wrong… no, no, no. It’s just that I initially thought she was smug and seemed a bit too sure of herself. O, not that she was arrogant or even that she was overly confident, for I really do appreciate the character quality of “confidence” in a person. It seems that when a person is genuinely confident, then I can be pretty sure they’re also genuinely… uh… genuine. I don’t mean the confidence that’s actually insecure, but the confidence that’s confident about what’s known or what’s believed. I have, however, met lots of people who are insecure but are truly sure and solid about their beliefs (but I digress and that’s probably a whole other blog entry).
So my new friend…. boy, is she direct and commanding! I don’t know exactly why she had my attention from the very beginning, but she did. It was as if whatever she said, that was true! I’m sometimes wary of such boldness and I tend to have reservations… but in her case, I was somehow immediately fascinated by her story – her approach. So she was standing there sharing her credentials, her experiences and sort of the outcome of her life and those experiences. There was no arguing with her “success” — I mean, in many ways: seeing is believing!
My husband told me that he was perfectly fine with me investing time with her. In fact, so much so, that he agreed that if he were to help me develop a friendship with her, he wanted me to agree to meet with her regularly and he wanted me to make a strong commitment to do so. So I did. You know… just for the “record,” my husband isn’t looking for me to do anything and isn’t even remotely hinting that I need to do anything, by the way – just so’s ya know.
Well, as things would go, about that same time another friend came over to visit… and amazingly, with her was my new friend! She didn’t know just how serious I was about becoming friends with this woman — and yet, she brought her over to my house?! My friend warned me that I might not like her after a few visits. I told her that I was willing to work through any difficulties bcz I was so ready to be done with my current circumstances that I was willing to go through just about anything… remember: no pain, no gain. O, wait… no pain, no success.
So… the first occasion went fairly smoothly… then the next day was probably equally so. By the third day I was wondering if I was going to like this friend after all. I mean, she sort of kept gliding through our new friendship and I was really having a time of it. I’d say… wow, I can’t do this and there she’d go… over and over again: yes, you can! Then each time we’d get to the end of our visit, I’d think, well, maybe I can stick it out. I did make a commitment to my husband after all. And… she is, after all, adored by so many! It’s just that I keep thinking I’m not going to be one of the ones to have such a successful friendship with her. Or, rather, maybe I’m just not like other people… and maybe I can’t.
Today I’m going to visit with her — you know… that commitment I made and all… And I know she’s going to be as cheerful and commanding as ever — each day she’s always the same… she just says the same things over and over. She’s got it down to a routine. I know what’s coming now and I know what she’s going to say. And… though I’m hurting, she just smiles and says: yes, you can! Now, I know I haven’t heard her whole story and so I know that there are many things she might want me to do in the future — she has all this stuff planned for me once I get a little more experience… there’s sort of an expectation that I will advance in our friendship.
Though I haven’t told her, the only reason I even wanted to make friends with her is that I have been on umteenth and one diets and I cannot seem to lose weight past a certain point and I do have a goal I “must” meet in six months. Well… and during that little gout episode recently, my doctor told me I need to lose ten pounds and then lose ten pounds. That was sort of her truthy way of telling me I need to lose t-w-e-n-t-y pounds. Ten and then ten seemed to sound better. Well, better to her (my doctor’s probably a size 0 or 2 – really). Not to me. Anyway… so my brand new friend seems to think I can do this and so: bcz I made a commitment to see her, I will stick to it (and I also have my 6 month goal to keep in mind). I read her book, listened to what other people think about her and on and on. Today’s my fourth visit. O, she’s already here!
Now, if I have some good things to say about her in twenty seven days, at the end of this month, I’ll be sure and tell you! No, wait, if I have any good thing to share about her during these days, you can be sure I will tell you. What did I say yesterday about blogging and candor? I’m not being secretive here… I’m just nervous to tell about my new commitment and what this friend’s name is… in case I fail (my husband or me or both). But… at least for this initial number of 30 days, I have made a commitment to spend time everyday with my new friend Teresa. As in Tapp. And about that umteenth and one diet? Don’t ask. And my six month goal? Drum roll…. my six month goal is to be able to *comfortably* wear my wedding dress on our thirtieth wedding anniversary February 4. Though I’ve not tried it on in twenty years, I know it’s a bit small for me —- well, okay, quite a bit —Oooooooo: now it’s out in the open. I can almost hear my new friend now: Yes, you can!