I will look up

If I look down and see my feet and the rocky ground beneath — or look down and see not my feet but shifting waves crashing all around me, a wave of panic washes over me and I fear I will sink or be washed away in the flood of fear.

But, in the most peculiar of all, the most wonderful of all experiences I know is the sweet peace that washes over when I look not down but up — when I lift my eyes and see that not only am I  not in perilous straits or not only am I not sinking in the mire, but I am being lifted up and it is in the able hand of the LORD that I stand.

All around me points to possible failure and loss, all around me the tasks are too great and I, in those moments of despair, see I cannot possibly do this task of guiding this home, teaching these children, directing them on the path, filling all the needs and doing all that needs to be done.  All around me, the giants of doubt hover.  The enemy brings to mind past failures and accomplishments seem to pale in comparison to the number of losses.

But wait.

What does God say… what’s really true?

The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms: and he shall thrust out the enemy from before thee; and shall say, Destroy them.”

Deuteronomy 33.27

O, blessed morning, sweet, sweet morning…  I look out to see the sunrise and I cannot count or name all the blessings of the LORD.  Sunshine floods my home and  I cannot list quickly enough the ways of His gracious mercy.  In giving thanks I see that this is His home, these are His children, my husband is His man and He has, is and will guide my husband’s steps — all of our needs, all of our hopes, all of our plans are in His Hands.

Why would I fear?  Who else is there beside the LORD?  Why would I resort to the shifting sand?  Why would I look down?  Why do I have this work of being a homemaker, doing all these tasks, looking after these children and missing the others?  I instantly stand and clutch the blessing of the plan and work of the LORD in my life and I gladly walk in this path and zealously guard it.  For I would want no other to take my place in this home and no offender to come in.  I would want no other task and pray to not squander these blessings another minute to doubt or fear.

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
2 My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.
3 He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.
4 Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand.
6 The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.
8 The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.

Psalm 121.1