In my earlier years, I seem to have had no lack of bold confidence or sheer determination (and what was becoming blind faith). As I look back now on those earlier days — so many amazing (and so many cringe-worthy 😲) days! I marvel at the goodness and mercy of God!
The other day Hannah asked me if I regret any of the purchases we made in the early days of parenting. This conversation was sparked by a comment I made regarding the proliferation of infant and toddler necessities — all the latest stuff young mothers think they must have these days – in addition to all the other things they need to buy and do and be! I told her, no. No, I don’t regret what we bought for our kids or for my pregnancies, or our home… and I laughed as I told her that most of the time we couldn’t afford to make poor decisions! ~smile~ But I did go on to say that we didn’t have all the things in those days — so many things! — that are pushed as necessary and imperative today. Again laughing, I said, I sure sound like an old person, don’t I?!? I’m so glad now… glad we didn’t have the money to buy things which didn’t exist then. ~smile~ There were enough stresses just “making it” through without the added burden of having to measure up or deal with what I see are today’s must have‘s (must be‘s – must do‘s) for young mothers. We had all the necessities for the babies — may’ve been short on space and money, but sure long on imaginative creativity.
Those were the days of bold confidence and sheer determination. Those were the humble beginnings of blind faith. Those were the days where I began to see that God was in it all.
I don’t think in those days that I expected God to work — He was working marvelously, but I didn’t know Him enough to know it. Working through my bold confidence and sheer determination, those were the days where the Lord allowed for a very,very short season –about a year’s time– a great amount of money and lavish living. I know we credited Him for that prosperity — but it was, in reality, misplaced or misunderstood credit. What was happening was that God was showing Himself strong on our behalf — not in the sudden wealth so much as what He was going to do with it all. We’d asked Him to bless us. And He did. O, He did. We thought the blessing was in what we could see — the goals and the things we could obtain. That wasn’t the blessing at all. The blessing was in what we couldn’t see/didn’t see — at that time. Part of the blessing was to put us back on the track of humble beginnings. The years have taught so much what those days didn’t know. It was the beginning of blind faith. It was the beginning of very sharply refining that bold confidence and sheer determination. It was the dawn of knowing that God does all things well: All the time.
Journal entries for days… What the Lord gave and what He took away. What happened to that confidence? What does blind faith look like now?