Such was the case for me… going to bed most every night regretting all the stuff that didn’t get done that day… only to wake the next morning, hurrying to get enough stuff done to be able to log on, retrieve the messages, hurriedly scan blogs of interest, personally regretting lacking the coolest format and relevant blog topics, hurriedly editing the latest photos for a new layout and then opening the blog “new post” page to start another blog entry.
With new eyes, I see the new styles and formats year after year. Emails flood my inbox regarding new programs, site design software, search engine optimization, methods for attracting and increasing traffic, comments, customers, digital image editing, suggestions for link sharing and more. As I see these things for the few seconds they remain on the screen before they’re deleted, I think of all my years of temptation to be and do more — and now the young mothers who desperately long to have a successful marriage and pinterested motherhood, well educated home-schooled children, pinteresting organized homes and pinterest-perfect meals served on lovely tables in beautiful homes just like the pictures in the best blogs. I see the ideas, tutorials, instructional and encouragement blogs and I sincerely think it’s amazing how they’ve exploded exponentially over the last few years. The pictures almost have smell-o-vision and the images seem to be increasingly bigger, better, more than homemaking’s ever been. All, seemingly effortlessly accomplished. While blogging.
And for a while the mothers will be able to pull it off…. blogging and living. Living and blogging. Checking the other blogs. Sharing links and ideas. Guest posting. Guest hosting. I wish I could convey that a mama on the computer doesn’t realize — really does not realize — how much time is passing and what’s being missed and what’s NOT being done in the passage of time. I wish I could explain that the number of times a mama says Justa sec… Justa sec… only increases. I wish I could convey just what happens with each “Justa sec” that’s uttered.
And then one day the crash happens. It may be a literal computer hard-drive crash or a website crash. It may be a failed or broken or damaged relationship. But a crash happens and the mama gets a wake-up call. She probably won’t realize in the moment, but then, the dawning of reality crashes over her like a tsunami that precious moments were missed and forever lost.
And the impact of the reality hits her as she crumbles on the kitchen floor. She gasps to breathe as she begins to catch a glimpse of what’s happened in the space of fifty thousand Justa sec’s. She’s leveled as she begins to realize the utter waste that consumed her days… that time to push the swing is past. Forever. In the theatre of her mind she recounts all the things forever gone, the pictures she never coloured with the littles, the funny things she didn’t even realize she missed… that the children stopped asking her to come and see, come and read, come and play… they knew that Justa sec never came. Justa sec never comes. Apologies would not make up for all that was lost. Sorrow wouldn’t restore the days and months that turned into years. Regret would not rewind the clock.
And in a puddle of tears and a heap of sorrow, she’s pretty sure she’ll never outlive these hard days — these very hard days of reckoning. But she will. God in His mercy will answer her cries. And He will tenderly cover her sorrows. He can restore what the locusts have eaten. A blogger’s loss may be another’s gain.
This is my story, this is my song, praising my Saviour all the day long.