This is “part two” of the previous post by the same name — you can read it here. The reason I’ve entitled this and the previous post: Untangling the wwWeb is bcz it truly is a tangling or entangling web. Now, what I hope is understood here is that the web or internet or electronic communication is not the enemy — it’s not all bad. In fact, I readily admit that it’s a profoundly invaluable tool. But tools are just that: tools. We utilize tools — and the right tools help us accomplish tasks much more efficiently than were we to not have them. Tools misused or used in the wrong hands are actually dangerous. We can think of the internet (or iPhones, smart phones or any other communication device) as a tool — a very useful tool if used properly. Unplanned or unbridled internet use is dangerous and should, from here on, be evaluated as a properly or improperly used tool.
Here’s an idea for you. Set the timer for 20 minutes right now or next time you use your computer (or iPhone or whatever). Bing! the timer will ring and you’ll be shocked just how fast twenty minutes passes! Now, for amplification, set the timer for that same amount of time before embarking on some task you don’t like doing. You’ll be shocked how slowly twenty minutes passes! That little exercise is to give you an idea just how much time you’ve
wasted spent invested online. You can never get that time back. Ever again.
In order to untangle from the web — and it is, in intensity and enormity, a world. wide. web. — I believe you must (in addition to answering those questions in “part one” of this post) admit you’re tangled in it (if you are) and then do some fessing up to yourself, to your husband, to your children. Your fessing up may extend beyond your home. Think back on days gone by… how were they really spent? How much time did/do you really spend online? And, as with all addiction recovery, a course or a plan of action and accountability should be — read: must be — established. A lack of a plan is a plan to fail and disregarding accountability is a sure plan to cheat yourself.
You may clean the room, clean the space in your life that the net once fully occupied, but unless you fill that space with plans, purposes, activities and measurable accomplishments, that space will be filled with demons of a worse kind. Those demons might be resentment, regret, shame, anger, self-pity, bitterness, pride, anxiety, frustration, woeful longing and on and on. Those demons travel in a pack.
Get busy and stay busy. Look well to the ways of your household and do not eat the bread of idleness.
Wherever you are, be fully there. Whatever you’re doing, be fully doing it. Whoever you’re talking with, be fully engaged in conversation. It may shock you how disconnected you’ve been. It may shock them how distracted you were and now aren’t! It may be weird for them– and you — to be doing all the stuff you delegated (so you could be freed up to do all that important good stuff on the internet). Watch out for personal resentment if you’re not appreciated for all your hard work. Determine to live joyfully in your home. Purpose to change your tomorrows since you cannot do a single thing to change the yesterdays. You can change — your days can change and in doing so, you’ll be investing in your tomorrows.
Set about accomplishing the things you’ve set aside… maybe neglected. You know, the stuff you used to do before the the tangled wwWeb got you and your time all wrapped up. As you do things, you’ll experience delightful appreciation for personal growth and accomplishment — interest and investment in your home and family once again. You’ll be living all those pictures you’ve been dreaming about. Try new things. You sleep better knowing that the greater satisfaction comes in actually doing and accomplishing instead of just observing; reading about things other women seem to be doing or seeing pictures of all that all those other mothers seem to be accomplishing. Keep in mind each day that the wise woman builds her house but the foolish plucks it down with her own hands.
In time you’ll establish a balance of best vs. good… literal vs. virtual… wise vs. foolish or not-so-wise time investment. You’ll begin seeing or will begin doing all the things you knew deep down you wanted to do/you should be doing… but couldn’t do bcz you were all tangled up viewing a screen. Drinking another cup of coffee.
♥ may you always be blessed.