What if today was your last?

What if you knew today was the last day you’d be alive. What would you do — or how would you spend this day? It seems that most of the time people think of what’s on their “bucket list” — you know, the list of stuff people want to do before they die. I don’t know why the thought of death triggers an urgency to get out the bucket list to see what could be done. But I was thinking that, in reality, the bucket list is a pretty self-serving deal and pretty much adds nothing to the lives left behind.

I wrote the above and a few more lines for my Welcome Home page on Facebook this morning.  I’ve thought about it throughout the day as I’ve worked in and around our home.  I thought about it as I drove into town on an errand.  What if today was my last day to…

My thoughts drifted into different areas of life.  I thought of the different people in my life — my husband, my children, my parents, all the extended family, my church family and friends… I thought of all the intersecting circles of acquaintances and wondered what I’d do if I really knew today was my last day to see them, to talk to them, to thank them, to bless them… what if I never have another opportunity to see them again?

I think I’ll start a new journal — a thankfulness journal or a gratefulness journal or a gladness journal.  I don’t know what I’ll eventually call it, but I will start to write one and the title will come to me, I’m sure.  Maybe I’ll call it the blessing book.  Yes, that would be a perfect name — bcz I want to write all the blessings I can remember.  O, I’ve done this through the years in all my journals: recording whatever blessing is happening at the time — but I’ve never written a book of blessings — everything in one place.  It would be a perfect book to write bcz I also want to write down the things I want to give people — in terms of blessings.  I want to record the blessings I pray the Lord will work in specific individual’s lives.   So, it’ll be a book of what’s been done for me, what I’ve seen done for others and what I pray the Lord will work in people’s lives.

As an example, I will write the blessings of marriage — and then, specifically, my marriage to my husband.  Not just the wedding, but what God has done through the years bcz of this blessing.  I pray our children — each one — will know the blessing of marriage.  I pray our daughters will know the blessings of motherhood and I pray our sons will know the blessings of fatherhood.   I will write the different faith-builders — the valleys, the mountaintops and pray the Lord will do so in their lives as well.

If this were the last day I could live on the earth, I’d want to be careful to express my gratitude — I hope I wouldn’t want to see one more sunset, eat one more this or that thing, experience one more major accomplishment.   I hope I’d remember to tell each one of my children some specific way they’ve blessed me and how I pray for different and specific things for each of them.  I hope I’d remember to say important things instead of wanting to linger to accomplish more things.

If this were the last day I could live on this earth, I’d want it to be a profitable day for the memories of the people I love.  I wouldn’t want them to remember: On mama’s last day, she checked off another item on her bucket list.  No.  I’d want them to remember an encouraging word, a prayer, a joyful memory, a word of inspiration, a kiss of thanks.

I’d want my last day to be a blessing – so that when it was over, a fragrance would linger.