internet junkie

teacuppamela.pngThere have been times when I imagined that one day I’d be sitting in a circle waiting for my turn to introduce myself and then when the person beside me finished their introduction and small talk, they’d glance at me, signaling my turn, and then I’d say:  I don’t know why I’m here or how I got to this point, but here I am.   So, hello, I’m pamela and I’m an internet junkie.

I used to say (and laugh about it) that one day there’s going to be a branch of medicine dedicated to the emotional problems, effects and disorders associated with computer abuse use and result of internet addiction.  I used to think it was isolation that would be a great problem — but now, that’s not what I think to be the great problem.  Now I think it’s distraction.  Distraction from what’s really going on.  Distraction from what’s being said, directions being given, loved being shared — but missed bcz the computer is an attention siphon.  The computer (or, ahem, handheld whatever’s) and the internet are erasers of time.  Erasers of special events and conversations.   They’re what obscure those moments you don’t even know you’re missing.   Until later.  The internet took the place of some days, months or years you will never see again.  I know this is true… grievous as it was to me to see and admit.

I must say that it’s been hard to think of resuming writing regularly bcz I fret I’ll fail or revert back to old habits of distraction and ‘internet addition’ that contributed to the darkness of the valley earlier this year.  As I’ve told you before, I didn’t realize just how distracted I’d become or how wrapped up in my projects I was each day.  So, I’ve had to be exceedingly careful not to slip back into old patterns.

If you’ve never been an internet junkie, then you have no idea what I’m talking about.  But if you have, or are, you know exactly what I’m talking about and you have or had the same trouble I have had.

And if you are on the net all day or many hours a day and neglect important things to attend to lesser things and you don’t think you are addicted to the net, I’d say you’re in denial.  I know, I was there once, too.

And if this computer didn’t have the system in place to automatically shut off after a designated time, I’d still be there.  Just like that.


3 thoughts on “internet junkie

  1. Do you have a hidden camera in my house? Yes, this was speaking to me but it’s something I’ve been pondering for weeks, months, or maybe even a year now. It’s time to make the change but it’s so hard! Yes, I am addicted and I hate it! What do you use to shut your computer off and how would that work with the children having Teaching Textbooks math programs to do on the computer?

  2. Hi Pamela!
    I’ve been reading your blog for several years now, and your website has been a priceless resource to me since I first found it while searching for a master pantry list so I would know how to stock my pantry before my marriage in 2004. I smile while thinking about how the Lord led me right to your site where I’ve found so much more than just a master pantry list. Truly you have taught me so much about what it means to be a Biblical wife and mother, and I am so very thankful for you and your ministry. My husband and I are in ministry as well, and we know too well how satan will try to make your ministry and your life crumble under your feet and how he will try to destroy your testimony. But we also know that what satan intends for evil the Lord will use for good. I’ve seen that time and time again in my own walk. Be faithful, my sister! Satan has tried to sift you like wheat, but remember that Jesus has prayed for you, and I along with many other sisters are praying for you as well. I’m so happy you’re blogging again. We live on opposite sides of the country and may never meet this side of Heaven, but I’ve always enjoyed having my morning coffee with you. I pray the Lord’s blessings upon you as you adjust to the changes in your life. It’s never easy adjusting to a “new normal” but the Lord is faituful and He will see you though. Love in Christ, Jamie

  3. It’s very late on a Sunday night after church and I thought I should at least check a few of my internet addictions…yours being one of the first! I thought it was ironic that your blog was about the internet and wasting time! I too have come under the conviction that I had been spending too much time messing around on here instead of dealing with what I need to do! I have cut down the time I spend online significantly but I do want to tell you that I look forward to checking in with you every few days! Love in Christ, Beth

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