The Love Dare Journal — Day 5

Today’s “Dare” begins:  Love is not rude.

Once again, I find it difficult to carry out the dare of the day.  I say this because I genuinely feel as though I am never rude to my husband.   In fact, from the beginning of our marriage, courtesy and manners have been something we’ve continually practiced.  But I am determined to go through this book and so I read the chapter and considered the definitions, thoughts and suggestions.  And then I had thought on them for a number of days.

Nothing irritates others as quickly as being rude.  Rudeness is unnecessarily saying or doing things that are unpleasant for another person to be around.  To be rude is to act unbecoming, embarrassing, or irritating.”

I’ve considered several scenarios and I’ve realized that I will occasionally make a comment that interrupts or even contradicts something my husband has said.  In times past I have thought I do this bcz I know him so well that I know what he meant to say and so I occasionally interject what he meant to say.  And you know… I got to thinking about this and realize that I need to keep this in check — O, I’m not saying I wouldn’t tell him something — but rather, the way it’s done is what I need to determine to redouble my efforts to consider.

 The chapter continues with suggestions as to what rudeness looks or sounds like and some Scriptures — concerning how rude behaviour affects a husband (Proverbs 25.24) and the importance of discretion and graciousness. (Proverbs 112.5)  The sugesstions were followed by some questions — one being:

Would your husband or wife say that you are a blessing, or that you’re condescening and embarrassing?”

Then tree suggestions (with comments):
1. Guard the Golden Rule…
2. No double standards…
3. Honour requests…

Just yesterday I heard a request — I complied… but I didn’t complete the task — and actually didn’t realize I hadn’t completed the task.  Do you know why?  I hadn’t listened carefully to the information I was given.  I hadn’t paid close attention to the details.  Now, in that situation there was no harm done whatsoever — except — that I hadn’t paid close attention to specifics.  So from that I now know two things — the next time I am to complete that specific task, my husband will remind me of what I missed this time and *I* will pay very close attention to look in the place he told me I would find the product he had purchased. :o)

Do you think I wanted to ask the questions in this chapter’s exercise?  Really… I don’t mind — even though, as with any test, confrontation or question I get nervous that I won’t measure up.  I know one thing’s for sure — when my husband tells me something I need to do or something he’d like to have done I kow he is *for* me and wants the very best for me.  Time and experience has proven this over and over.  I am assured of his love and respect.  Here’s this chapter’s dare:

 Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you.  You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behaviour.  This is from their perspective only.”

______ check here when you’ve completed today’s dare.

There’s space in the book to record what your spouse pointed out; space to record how you handled it; and space to record what you plan to do to improve these areas.   Tomorrow, Day 6:  Love is Not Irritable.