It seems I’m continually working on talks and I started thinking back on the last year or so and I can only marvel at the work of the LORD. It is bay the grace of God that I can do the meetings or give the talks at Titus 2 meetings or retreats or whatever. It is because God never wastes a thread that I am able to piece together some significant and insignificant events and fit them with Truths of God’s Word and other events in life and convey messages that, hopefully and prayerfully, help other women.
For some time now I have had the honour of teaching at a monthly Titus2 meeting of women. I say “God never wastes a thread…” quite often. Though, quite often, I don’t see the threads the LORD is using in a particular situation. But over the last year I saw a thread in the preparation of different talks and the ‘co-incident’ of my cousin writing me to ask if I might help her find another cousin – her half-brother.
A co-incident, to me over the years, is one of those times where the horizontal meets the Vertical. An incident where God meets us where we’re at in order that His purposes will be revealed and accomplished. In talks, I use a lot of hand gesturing and when I refer to co-incidents I don’t say coincidence, I say: Co-incidents and I gesture with my arms out flat and then move them to form a vertical motion.
Well, truly God never wastes a thread… here I have been thinking, studying, talking about and writing about reconciliation — that greatest Co-incident in all of life – that Co-incident of the Cross — the horizontal meeting the Vertical – the greatest event a person will ever experience on this side of heaven is meeting Jesus at the foot of the Cross and receiving the gift of reconciliation to God in salvation by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. And then I had all those opportunities to teach and then that phone call which led to a series of letters and phone calls.
The thread I never really saw until recently was that God had allowed many experiences that I talked over with both of those cousins in different conversations and I realized that the very things that have caused me greatest pain, fear, weakness and doubt have been carefully allowed, mended and woven together by God and have been part of the foundation of faith and have given me both empathy and compassion for others and have deepened my message. Had God not been guiding me and reforming me I would be so lost today.
All of this was made a bit clearer to me in talking with my cousin — and I only have a few! — whom I’ve never seen or talked to for over 40 years. It was unbelievably easy to talk with him. In talking to him about the suicide death of his father, I realized that one of his greatest trials in life and one of my greatest trials in life happened at the same time. I realized God was revealing a thread. I told him that as we were talking… I shared that during that month in August of 1970 we both entered an intersection of life and both experienced a collision — actually, totally unrelated collisions – but both happened that month. We talked long and the conversation was flowed with ease. I was amazed. I think he was, too. A lot more became clear and was reconciled — not just family but lots of questions, too.
I don’t often actually talk about those collisions — his or mine. I think he said he rarely talks about his. But here’s another twist of that thread… ironic as it is: he’s a therapist and works at a hospital with patients dealing with mental disorders and suicide. Isn’t that interesting?
And mine? Over the years, bcz I’ve had opportunity to teach studies and speak at retreats, I’ve occasionally shared this part of my life story… it’s given me opportunity to give hope and encouragement to women who are hurting. I’ve talked and prayed with many women who were/are dealing with post trauma of childhoodsexual abuse — women who experienced the death of innocence and security as little girls. The know I understand and are looking for someone to trust — someone to listen.
So, why is this on my list of 30 favourite things from my fiftieth year? Simple. God mercifully showed me a glimpse of a thread He’s faithfully holding.
Yes… I remember well. And, I am so very sorry for your for all of those horrible things. You know, I praise the Lord for His mercy and loving care – He demonstrated that in your dream by bringing your husband and then showing you that others love you, too and that the Lord is and will be with you.
Yes, painful things are part of the fabric of our lives — they are part or punctuation of our message of faith.
I find that much as I try, I cannot forget, erase or minimize what happened in my life (or to you in yours) but I have been learning more and more that regardless of what happened in our childhood, the Lord allowed it all for His purposes — that He saw each event and the evil or gross sin or meanness or shame or harm or ridicule or abandonment or fear or pain or whatever it was we faced — even if it was all those things — God is our safe refuge.
He still has our life in His hand and He will protect, guide and provide for us whatever is needed for whatever we face. We can trust in Him — even — when bad things happen and –even– when those nightmares come; even when those thoughts come from out of nowhere — even then we can trust the Lord is with us — He alone is our refuge and strength.
God bless you and comfort you — and I pray your sleep will be sweet and dreams will be a blessing to you and never add to your fear or doubt or pain. thank you for your kindness.
love♥pamela
I had to comment on this today. Do you remember when I wrote you a email about my struggle with my past and the abuse my parents did to me? Well last night I had a dream and it was a really bad one of my parents hurting me. In the dream eventually my husband came into the bedroom I was in and was hugging me, just showing me comfort and love. We then walked into through the house and there you were! For some reason we were living in your home and it was beautiful and comforting. When I woke up I was telling my daughter how unusual that I dreamed of you, of all people – then I realized it probably is because I have said many times if I could have a mother figure it would be someone like you. I guess my subconscious thinks that too 😉
I know that my past hurts my soul, and a lot lately, but I also know that I would not be the person I am without experiencing those painful things. I am trying to learn to embrace it, pain and all.