The longer I live, the more I think that when people ask questions, they’re not truly looking for answers. Not really. O, they may want results or they may want things to be different than they are — and they may ask questions regarding how to get there — but they don’t really want answers. I guess, to be fair, I should say: we. We want good results — we want good conditions — but we don’t really want to have to apply ourselves to the task or the answer to our question. We may think we do, but our actions betray us.
I’m thinking of lots of things today over which I’ve had conversations with mothers and friends, acquaintances and strangers. Sometimes I even think that what seem like questions or what seems like a desire for answers is really only a rhetorical question — maybe even a hypothetical question — so that if the answer given to that (hypothetical) question isn’t an appealing answer, it can be dismissed as not applicable or impractical.
For example, I have had many women ask me, over the years, how to keep laundry done or how to tackle the problem of a mountain of laundry. In short I tell them: Just do it. If they’re still with me, I tell them how to keep it done. Usually, women will tell me how my solution is impractical for their schedule/situation. You know… they’d be able to do it if they didn’t have so many young ones, that they could do it if their laundry wasn’t in the opposite end of the house, that they could do it if they had bigger/better/more machines. I tell them if they want to get their laundry done, and stay on top of it, they need to: Just do it. And after they do it one day, when they get up the next day, they need to: Just do it. And when they’ve done it two days in a row and have stayed on top of it, on the third day they need to: Just do it.
Now if the woman is still with me, then I tell her some keys to doing it and keeping it done — because, the longer I live, another thing I’ve learned is that people are looking for the secret. We all want to know that. I mean, consider the billion dollar diet industry… the billion+ dollar cosmetics industry… the billion+ dollar movie industry… the billion+ dollar romance novel industry. Everyone wants to know how to be thin, how to look beautiful and how to live a romantic life — but the truth is, no one wants to really do all it takes to be, do and have all that.
So back to the laundry — I guess I should say: there’s a no excuse laundry solution; it is this: Just do it. Every day. If it’s your first day of the plan, it starts like this. Get up… do your stuff and in that doing, start a load of laundry. After breakfast, switch the load from the washer to the dryer and start another load. Do more of your stuff. An hour later, *FOLD* the clothes right out of the dryer *AT* the dryer (not the sofa – the sofa is the great abyss and the bane of a mother’s existence). When the clothes are folded into stacks according to their destinations, switch the load and start another one. GO put the clothes AWAY — or send a *reliable* helper to *do it* or to do it with you. Go do more stuff. An hour later, go back and… yes… sort of like lather, rinse, repeat — till it’s done. For you it might be all done. For another woman, it might take another load or two. If you have older children who are capable of the task, then teach them to *do it* just like that. It’s a good plan. It works if you work it.
So… the secret (since everyone is really looking for the secret)? The secret is to just do it… everyday… do it every day. One load, two loads or seven loads. Everyday, just do it — AT the machine and *put it all away* every day. You may then have a day where you just *don’t* do laundry. It may be Sunday and Wednesday or whatever. That is a decision you can make and stick to… bcz you know you’re *going to* do it the next day. That’s not poor planning or poor performance, that’s prior planning — that’s time management — that’s wisdom at work. But it’s sort of like credit card use… if you don’t regularly pay it all according to plan, then that’s not a safe plan for you — time and actions speak louder and show more than words and intentions. Think of good housekeeping as good credit – you want high scores in both areas.
Well, at the outset I typed: No answers; just get me results, please. Well… I gave a TNT (tried ‘n true) answer… I know it’s TNT bcz I do it and have done it and I don’t have a laundry pile and a laundry mess (note: I didn’t say I don’t have a pile of laundry or that I don’t have messy laundry — for I do have both — every day). A long time ago I wanted answers to this dilemma *and* I *needed* results… and when I was willing to apply the solution to the dilemma, I *got* results. And I get them every day. Good results in one area of homemaking quite literally leads to good results in other areas as well.
Last night… as I snuggled into my warm bed, I heard the lulling hum of the girls working away. One girl in the kitchen and two more in the laundry area. One was doing the dishes and one was washing clothes and one was drying them — all humming away like a well oiled machine (quite literally), I drifted off to sleep — telling my husband as I do many nights: thank you for those great girls, I so appreciate the blessing they are. When I woke up this morning, I was mindful that they had done a nice job… It’s very easy to have the day already smoothly underway if you: have a plan that works and *work* the plan that works. Whatever your plan is – plan your work and work your plan.
As the morning chores routine was underway, I reminded the children that the “girls” had been busy once again while they were sleeping and had left them partially completed work to carry on. Our plan was already underway… we all just needed to keep working the plan. If we really and truly want solutions to our problems, we will be glad to find and apply answers .
Thank you, Sarah and Vikki for your comments — they encourage me for several reasons. One, they affirm that others are striving to properly care for home and family –and– that laundry really does not have to be a drudgery or painstaking task. It’s one of those necessities that is much easier handled if it’s just that: handled. well.
As for the question about getting it put away, we’ve found it works best for someone in the girl’s room to put away the girl’s stack and someone in the boy’s room to put away the boy’s stack. We have, as one of our ‘morning routine’ chores the chore of folding & putting the morning load away, starting a new load and coming back in an hour to fold, put away, switch loads and start a new one. This way at least two loads are always done before lunch prep time — often this means that three loads are done and in the process of being put away.
I think, in the end, what works best for *your* family is what you ought to do — doing what you can and, of course, time of life, etc., but also still scheduling or assigning chores to one person or to others — on a rotating basis — giving each able bodied person the opportunity to become proficient with all the aspects of ‘housekeeping.’
more on this tomorrow. blessings, pamela
Pamela,
thank God for our girls! My girls too are learning to be great keepers of the home…my son also does his own laundry ..what a blessing for a mom such as myself who has some days physically which are not the best. My children are learning to not only be helpful but a blessing as are your’s….
Vikki
I totally agree with this! As the “laundry” person in our home I know how fast things can pile up if you let them. Recently I started gathering ALL dirty laundry each morning, and doing it right away, instead of waiting for someone to walk up with a big basket of laundry that needed washed. With 10 people in the house, 10 sets of clothes, and the kitchen towels from the day don’t take all that long to do. On Saturdays sheets (if needed) and towels are washed, making a little bit more laundry to do, but still not a bit like having the whole week’s clothes, etc. piled sky high. Well, speaking of laundry, I have to get the folded clothes to their homes. BTW…Do you put laundry away yourself, or have everybody put away their own?