The sobering fact of the “just get through it” advice many women hear and heed is that in the end it’s just a lie. And in the end, they know it. Today’s message may well be a downer. Take heart… there’s a method to this seeming madness…
I know a lot of the time I’m sort of, as it were, singing to the choir. But I also know that, though I’m singing to the choir, I’m sometimes singing notes that are a bit “off” or a bit flat or aren’t in harmony with all the rest of the choir. I’m not aiming to be simply be harmonious, rather, I’m aiming to sing clear and true—that’s my aim—no matter what, that’s my aim. Most women who read this blog are “sisters” or kindred or like-hearted. But then, occasionally I will receive a note from one who’s not or from sisters who are in a lull or a low spot. I get in low spots, too, and so, I suppose that’s why I write the way I do—nothing’s worth writing out unless it’s worth living out and if I didn’t, can’t or don’t live it out… then I don’t write it or share about it, either.
So, what about “getting through” motherhood?
You’ll hear that advice from time to time from (probably well meaning) women who, for whatever reason, just “got through” motherhood, or, rather, just “got through” that period of time her children lived in her home. Usually bitter women… women who missed it… women who now live regrettable lives because they just “got through it.”
Imagine applying that advice to the experiences you might have —say, to the greatest movie, greatest musical, greatest vacation, greatest book, greatest moment of your life: “…just get through it.” Would you possibly take that advice were someone to tell you, “I know you’re reading the greatest book you’ve ever picked up, so, here’s my thought for you: just get through it.” Or, when you’re buying tickets for a play, imagine hearing, “I know you’re going in to watch that play – just get through it; it’ll be over soon.”
No, that would be absurd – and you know it. So, isn’t it ironic and pitiful that many woman are advised, regarding motherhood, just get through it.
Ah… right about now Joni Mitchell’s Big Yellow Taxi… is playing in my thoughts: Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone…
And you know what? Motherhood’s a lot like that. If you don’t get it, don’t know it, don’t enjoy it, don’t live it, don’t love it, don’t work at it, don’t invest in it, don’t treasure it, and don’t pass it on… then one day you’ll wake up and your life will be paved — what could have been paradise on earth for you will simply be equivalent to a paved parking lot—nothing there, no sweet memories, no sweet sounds, no delicious aromas, no paintings on your fridge, no pictures in the frame of your life, no love notes in your margins, no laughter in your halls and no dandelion bouquets on your kitchen windowsill. Nope—what could have been sweet for you will be bitter. And your tears will not be sweet for the memories of former days, instead, they will be bitter tears for what was lost and can never be recovered.
Motherhood’s something you do – it doesn’t just happen…
it’s something you get to – not something you get through.
If motherhood’s something you just get through… the next generation will have nothing to build on for there will be no foundation. I don’t say the next generation will have nothing to model—O, the next generation will have something to model, alright—and it will be more of the same regrettable living–another rung in the spiral of the decline of motherhood.
There’s a very, very strong reason for the narrative of Titus 2 and strong reason why I continue, through the years, to bring it up again and again… women have been educated to live and to believe lies… to live and believe contrary to the Word of God and so, recovery must begin or restoration must begin and must be perpetuated and propagated that the Word of God be not blasphemed. For, truly, today in the church, the Word of God is being blasphemed—and, I believe one of the main places it’s being blasphemed is in the “christian” home. I seek to live, write, and pray and encourage in such a manner that, the LORD being my life, my strength and guide, so far as it depends on me: this will not be so.
Please, sisters… don’t just get through it… get to it!