None of us think we do it, but we do do it. We keep score. I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit lately as I’ve considered trials friends face, many letters I receive regarding problems in families, problems with extended family and . And no matter how many times I write it: “… it doesn’t matter… no one’s keeping score.” the truth is still the same. It does matter (and, pssssst: by the way, someone is keeping score.)
I thought of that comment or bit of advice I received a number of years ago- advice I have never forgotten.
Quite a number of years ago, I was commenting about a trouble I was trying to cope with and I happened to notice I was in the company of a mom whose daughter was enduring a fatal condition and faced daily struggles to simply breathe. She responded with empathy when I said I had nothing to complain or fret over considering the life and death matters she and her daughter face and daily contended with. And she told me whatever any woman is facing at the time is big – to her at the time… and that whatever I was facing was big… for me. And she assured me that it was all okay, that no one was keeping score. I’ve never forgotten that bit of advice. So whatever you’re facing – regardless what others do or do not have to deal with – it’s big, it matters. It matters to you.
So, my friends face troubles and attempt to deflect the attention by saying something like, Well… I know I don’t have it as bad as so-n-so, or I really shouldn’t complain, after all, I do have more than I need or more than someone else, or more than I deserve or whatever other “more than” thing they come up with. We need to stop keeping score… I mean, we even keep score by not keeping score or attempting to not keep score. Those statement: “I really shouldn’t complain, but….” really are tabs in a score book.
What we really need to do is take all this stuff to the LORD and say something like, Lord, this really hurts, is hard, feels bad or whatever… and then ask His direction, protection, provision or whatever for whatever the situation is that we face. We so often discount our trouble and attempt to handle it quietly—but it’s actually not quiet at all… it cries out when we least expect it.
So whatever you’ve got going on… it’s big. And… glory be to God that the ground at the foot of the Cross is level. And spacious… go there and see if that’s not so.