It’s not in the bright, carefree summer days that faith’s made sure, it’s in the rain, the cloudy days, and cold, sleepless nights, it’s in waiting rooms, empty mailboxes, sorrowful news that faith’s made surer. Faith is made surer in times of great alone-ness, struggle, steep climbs — uncharted territory. Faith made surer isn’t cheap, fleeting, emotional, cushy, easy.
More and more that it’s surer faith I desperately want — it’s surer faith I need day by day. And as I read the Word and as I read years of yesterday’s journal entries, faith is surer than when I first believed. The humbling thing is that when I first believed, the promises of God — the promises of God that are yea and amen — were all mine. They were all mine when as yet I had no sure faith — the only faith I had was the gift of faith to believe on the Name of Jesus. The gift of faith that led me to stand up, go forward, to lay my life at the foot of the Cross. The great exchange had occurred and all the promises of God in Christ Jesus were mine. And they were yea; and they were amen.
So then… why all the hardships, struggles, tears, losses, scoffers, failures, wanderings? All these and more have been of the Lord to give me His faith — surer faith.
Were it not for my trials, hardships, failings, I’d have taken credit for — and thought my great ha! accomplishments, works, children, possessions, etc., etc., were my doing! That’s not to say that many of my trials, hardships, failings, etc., were not my doing — quite the contrary — but to say that in innumerable ways, they’re all used of the Lord to make surer faith. Often now, in the midst of a trial, I smile to think and to see that Lord is working — that no matter how painful, disappointing, hurtful, embarrassing, regretful a trial is — the signature of the Lord is unmistakable. I may not see the purposes, I may never know they why’s, but this I know: The Lord is good all the time.
So the pain that’s to try me, the disappointment or loss that seems to break me, the long nights, the wasted years, the seemingly senseless choices of others, the regrets… these all are refining fires. When a crucible is placed in the fire and the dross is removed, the vessel reflects the image of the refiner. I look around me and wonder: do I want all these things that try me to define me? Or do I want all these things (the things that try me) to refine me and make me fit for the Master’s use? So I have choice: will I allow or continue to allow these present trials to define me? Or, will I willingly yield them all to the Lord — seeking Him to use them to refine me?
Faith’s a long walk… I’m reminded, again today. I want to be found standing in the Son in faith made surer day by day.