Wasting Time

Do you ever feel like you’re just wasting time?

As I was washing dishes the other day, I found myself mentally wading into the pond of regrets and perhaps for the first time ever I stopped mid-thought and wondered what I would have done differently were I to have the opportunity to not waste time.

I think when one has faced the cold reality of failures in life, it’s easy to get hung up on failure or to get caught up in rehearsing failures.  It’s also easy to be plagued with the fear of failing again — dreading repeating the same mistakes over and over.  It’s also easy to slip into the paralyzing thinking that the failure defines us–that whatever we’ve done wrong is who we are.  Forever.

If we’ve been wasting time, we feel we’re doomed to spend our days wasting time or we’re scrambling like mad to not waste a moment.  Sounds a lot like works based faith, doesn’t it. If we work hard enough, we’ll be good enough and if we’re good enough: we won’t fail. Ever again.

Until we do.  And it all starts again.

I looked at the work of our exchange student sitting across the table from me as I was teaching a couple of our children this morning.  As I saw the completed geometry lesson pages (and believe me, it’s incredibly impressive in Chinese), I thought, Wow, I’ve sure been wasting a lot of time.   And it all started again.

I then must ask myself, where is the Lord Jesus in all of this?  Did I not trust Him?  Did I not confess my sins, my faults, my failings, my wasting time?  And, in pouring out my heart to Him, seeking His forgiveness and His covering and His direction, did He not answer me?  I can hear Him saying, O foolish girl, why are you going back into bondage?  If I say, O, I completely trust You Lord and know Your forgiveness and Your care — and then go back into that pit of rehearsing failures, I am in effect saying, Your atonement is not enough — Your grace is not sufficient for this (or me).

Gripping, right?  So if you’re like me and you’ve been wasting time (or if this or other issues keep repeating), ‘fess up and press on.  Do this with me: Do what you’re supposed to be doing today, tomorrow or whenever.  Remember this with me: There’s so much life to live, so much praise to give, so much for which to be grateful and opportunities to do what ought to be done… no more wasting time sorrowing over wasting time.