Do you ever consider the words you say the most? I mean, besides, ” justa minute” or any other phrase you use to buy yourself a few more minutes of time before you tend to the ‘interruption” behind you? I’m thinking that the words I say most are these (and I must’ve read too many D. Seuss books early on bcz my words all tend to rhyme): no. go. so.
There’s any combination of: no throw(ing). you’re sure grow(ing). can you tie a bow? tell me what you know. can you show me? hurry, hurry, hurry, let’s not be slow. i do laundry, i’m a pro. yes, there are many children here… just look at my garden grow. stack them up, put them in a row. And everyday’s a marvel: well, whaddya know!
What got me to thinking about this is that I am gathering things to send to Timothy in Africa. And at the same time, we’re in the midst of gathering and preparation for Kathryn to leave for Uganda in a few days. And along with that, getting ready to send Hannah with our daughter-in-law to Florida for a little vacation. Go, go, go… see them go.
To all this growing and going I want to say, justa minute. Must you go so soon? And I think, where’d the time go? Has it been that many years since they were young? And then my mind is awash with memories and pictures pass through my thoughts like a slide show – only the slide show goes slower than time seems to have gone.
I think back on the younger years… all day long: no, no, no… come this way, let’s go… time to go… do you have to go? mama said, no. Good boy, I knew you could do it, I told you so! Can you do that yourself? There you go! Oopsie-daisy, here you go. Time to go night, night… let’s go. Time to brush your teeth: let’s go. Did you go? You made that picture —Ooooo! O, sure I want to know. My-o-my… how fast they grow. And then I look at the hands of time moving swiftly forward and I want to say, no. Let’s stay here awhile. Let’s take things slow.
But I’m sure that’s not how I saw things in the early days, when I was saying “no” and “go” much more than I ever do today. A few years into, what I fondly now call, the early days, older women were telling me to “enjoy these days” — and I’m pretty sure I nodded in agreement — but sometimes, inside, I was thinking: enjoy these days… hmmm… I’m just trying to get through them! And then, often enough (Thank You Lord) I’d have another woman say to me, “…enjoy these days…” and then I’d strengthen my resolve once more to think of motherhood as more than something to get through… but something to enjoy and the days more than something to just get through… and I did enjoy them – and I do, more, now.
O, I still say, “no” a lot. I still say, “go” a lot. But it’s funny… now the words are in a different order, the older the children get and the more they leave home. Go? Now, I’m saying, Is it time to go? And my insides hurt and I think, no. I hug them and kiss them and smile at what the Long has done… and I say, as much as I don’t want you to go… I’m so proud of you and I know it’s time to go. No, really: Go.
While I work I often find I’m singing and really am thinking of and thanking the Lord for His ways…
So Send I You
So send I you to labor unrewarded,
To serve unpaid, unloved, unsought, unknown,
To bear rebuke, to suffer scorn and scoffing,
So send I you to toil for Me alone.
So send I you to bind the bruised and broken,
O’er wand’ring souls to work, to weep, to wake,
To bear the burdens of a world aweary-
So send I you to suffer for My sake.
So send I you – to loneliness and longing,
With heart a-hungering for the loved and known;
Forsaking home and kindred, friend and dear one,
So send I you – to know My love alone.
So send I you – to leave your life’s ambitions,
To die to dear desire, self-will resign,
To labor long and love where men revile you,
So send I you – to lose your life in Mine.
So send I you to hearts made hard by hatred,
To eyes made blind because they will not see,
To spend, tho’ it be blood, to spend and spare not-
So send I you to taste of Calvary.
*After many years, Miss Clarkson added to the hymn, writing verses that reflected the trials, and the joys, of God’s call on the lives of his children. As she matured she recognized that she was sent out to minister to others, not in isolation, but in triumph.
So send I you – by grace made strong to triumph
O’er hosts of Hell, o’er darkness, death, and sin,
My name to bear, and in that name to conquer-
So send I you, My victory to win.
So send I you – to take to souls in bondage
The word or truth that sets the captive free,
To break the bonds of sin, to loose death’s fetters-
So send I you, to bring the lost to Me.
So send I you – My strength to know in weakness,
My joy in grief, My perfect peace in pain,
To prove My pow’r, My grace, My promised presence –
So send I you, eternal fruit to gain.
So send I you – to bear My Cross with patience
And then one day with joy to lay it down,
To hear My Voice, “Well done, My faithful servant –
Come share My throne, my kingdom and My crown.
“As the Father hath sent Me… so send I you.”
Margaret Clarkson – words
John W. Peterson – music