The Welcome Home – Page 76 – The Next Chapter

thoughts over a cup of strong coffee

Christians are like the flowers in a garden,
that have each of them the dew of Heaven,
which, being shaken with the wind, they let fall at each other’s roots,
whereby they are jointly nourished, and become nourishers of each other.”

—John Bunyan

This quote was particularly meaningful to me today as I was reflecting on the blog entries and comments of the last couple of days. And you know, it’s interesting, we can all go along or get along really well until one of us speaks up or speaks our mind on a matter. Then… suddenly we realize we’re all individual or we all have individual perspectives or opinions and — often — our opinions differ. Sometimes our opinions differ only slightly and often they differ a great deal. I think this is where the Scripture: “A soft answer turneth away wrath …” needs to be kept close at hand. We may feel strongly about something and we may even be right ( I know I usually feel I am) and yet, sometimes the better part of gracious living is to say what needs to be said and leave off with clamouring over it.

As has been obvious, the matter of birth-control is one of those settled or ‘done-deal’ matters for me. Ha—even more so, actually, since I appear to no longer bear children. I know to some, I might have entered the “it’s easy for you to say_______” years. It is easy for me to say or to stand on that firm belief bcz I lived it and live it still. But that’s not to say it was always comfortable to live out, however. It wasn’t always comfortable to live out in the midst of natural pregnancy related difficulties, loneliness on the path, scoffing by people I respected, snide remarks over pregnancies, children, legalism, etc., etc. But you know… it wasn’t hard to trust God for His way and His will and I never looked too far beyond where I was at the time. I trusted —my husband and I trusted— God for the next one. That’s just the way we lived it… trusting God day by day that He would do what He said He would do. And HE did. Always.

Birth control happens to be one of the biggies… that’s why I shared a number of days ago that I believe it’s one of the greatest hindrances, judgments, lies of or threats to the “church” today. I think it’s likely one of the most damaging or potentially damaging issues in marriage—and surely for the family and the picture of Christ and the church. But does it matter that I think all these things? No… not really. Well, sure, it matters to me – if I didn’t believe something, or if I didn’t stand for something I really wouldn’t be standing for anything. So I stand on this matter and I stand firmly on it. But do I divide or seek to break fellowship over this matter? No. For one thing, I’d have very few friends. For though —many— people I/we know have large families, on the whole, most we’ve known: don’t. Most people we know or have been friends with a long time don’t feel as we do about this matter of Lordship of the womb. In fact, most don’t really hold to lots of the things that we consider to be foundational planks. Seriously. O, but praise God there are many who do —else— it would truly be a lonely path. Lonely or not… we walk it bcz this is just the way it looks from the pages we’re reading here and through faith in the One who holds our hand. If it weren’t for Jesus…. oooooooo, I shudder to think where I’d be today.

How can two couples pick up the same Bible, read it, pray and hear a different answer? I do not know. How can two couples pick up the Bible and say it says this or that and agree and then see another issue and adamantly disagree? I don’t know. I know there will always be divisions; I know there will always be different opinions on matters or different interpretations on matters — I guess I’d just say that if teaching is going against the Word of God and there tends to be a softening or an ignoring of God’s truths, then that teacher’s opinions/interpretations would be suspect and I would tend to dismiss the words—if a preacher taught error we would not stay and listen or if a preacher lived error, we wouldn’t stay in that teaching. O, they might sound good or, better yet, they might sound reasonable, but God’s Word isn’t first reasonable… not to the natural man, anyway. Consider this: die to self. Whoa– we don’t want to die to self… we like what we like and we don’t like to be told to die to anything. Or another: Pick up your cross and follow Me. O… but I like life at the carnival… do I have to leave it? See… God’s Word is not always easy… but you know what the very astonishing thing is? His yoke — His yoke is easy. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. That sounds like a contradiction doesn’t it… yoked and free.

So, when we’re called to do things or called to say things… and we’re in the yoke, it really doesn’t matter what others say or what others do. Our walk is in the yoke… and (hopefully & prayerfully) the others’ walk is in the yoke as well. So fret not when others disagree or when others don’t care for the way you put 4 creamers in a cup of strong coffee. When you’re walking along, try to just talk along and not spill too much of that strong coffee on ’em.

Whatever spills on them from you… well, let it be the dew of heaven.

Anguish over decisions in childbarriering

As I inferred in a post or two ago… there is often great anguish over decisions we make or made or must make in marriage. Actually, more specifically, in the area of childbearing and/or “childbarriering.” I know I’ve made some very bold statements in regards to this matter – and I stand on them, though there are times I might even seem to bend or waffle on strongly held beliefs, I guess I desire to convey that I seek to hold my gaze fixed on the Standard of the Word. Being fallible, I do have times of fretting, of doubting, of questioning, etc., etc. But my resolve is to keep my eye, my self, my hope and my will on the goal of serving and submitting to the only Holy, Immortal, Invisible, Unchanging, Infallible, Omniscient, Omnipresent, all-Loving, all glorious, Eternal: God. That high calling —that grace of God— keeps me stepping Heavenward.

I know it is in this stepping that I both step on toes and am stepped on. I do not intentionally do so or maliciously do so – though, for those on whose toes I step, it likely appears intentional –as if I have an ax to grind or some self-serving reason for writing as I do. I took a risk sharing strongly held beliefs and I took a risk sharing what I’ve shared in the past concerning motherhood, homeschooling, government issues, trends in the “church” today, homemaking, submission, child-training, and most recently: birth-control. Risk is a curious blend of doubt, probability, hope, danger and trust. Since I trust the LORD for who He is, what He has done, what He said He will do and for His eternal purposes to be accomplished because of Who He is: I, by faith, take steps forward that *seem* like risks and yet, in reality, they are steps of obedience — steps of faith. Faith being the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Faith that by prayer and the reading and rereading of the Word, I come to conclusions and set about to share what I see it saying based on the Word itself, by the truths I have seen laid bare and the experiences of others and the teaching of men who walk with God. How else, then, do we live and move in this world? It is by faith in God that comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God by the moving of the Holy Spirit that we know that we know that we know. I think of Romans 1.20 – “…that the invisible things of Him are clearly seen, being understood by the thing that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead.”

So why do I say then that there may be anguish over decisions? Because we are not infallible. We make decisions, sometimes foolish ones, based on what we see. We live and move making decisions based on what we *don’t* see. We make decisions based on fear or based on doubt. We even make decisions based on Truth – but the consequences or the outworking of the decision becomes painful even scary at times. As one of the readers and an additional few personal letters I received indicated, past decisions regarding childbearing have present consequences or cause present anguish. Decisions to limit family size based on convenience alone are usually met with regret later when things aren’t (or didn’t, in fact, turn out) as they once appeared. Even when the determination to limit family size or childbearing is or was based on medical reasons, there is still regret years down the road — there is still anguish —it may have been a right deicision, but there is still anguish. Was the decision wrong or not of faith or whatever? No – as I have shared on a number of occasions, there are times when our situations do not pan out the way we assume they will or would have. This, to some, may sound like waffling or hesitation or even contradiction to a “staunchly held” position – it’s neither – it’s just reality. The reality for my friends with pcos or endometriosis, or cancer or other conditions is limited, no or ending childbearing. They still stand strong – I still stand strong – on the resolution regarding birth-control and faith-based-family size — whatever that ends up being or appearing.

With those for whom this is a hurtful or painful area I empathize. With those for whom this matter of past choices in “birth-control” is one of remorse, I empathize. To those who heard and bought the lie that a vas or a tie was going to fix things for them and now see that the big fix is a big lie, I truly empathize. I cannot count the number of men and women who are walking with the LORD and share how they now deeply regret that painful and seeming permanent decision to end childbearing. We have several friends who were told the same lie: do your wife a favor and get fixed. They so deeply regret a decision based on worldly assumptions, methods and falsehoods. So is there hope for the anguish over past decisions? Yes – hope and life and *that* more abundantly! All the promises of God in Jesus are yay or yes and amen!

The enemy would have us to believe that we can never be forgiven. It’s either immediate or down the road, most times, that the schemes of the cunning enemy are revealed as lies… the enemy that makes sin so enticing, so expedient, so necessary that it’s not only believable but something to be embraced. That’s what the enemy’s big fix is – the only way out of the problem of: children.The enemy will never reveal the consequence of the big lie – the termination of godly seed, the finality of cutting off blessings, etc., etc. Is there hope? Is there forgiveness? Is there a solution? Yes, yes, and yes. It’s all in Jesus. As is everything. It’s all Jesus.

The solution may simply be in repentance. The solution may be a reversal of the heart. A solution may be fixing the broken – a physical, surgical reversal. A solution may be all those things… but it is in the hand of the LORD that those things will be done or decided – that’s where peace is and that’s were anguish is turned to joy. That’s where regret is turned to trust, iniquity to cleanness and doubt to faith—where the self-centered life is yielded to God and its members as instruments of righteousness – no longer of iniquity unto iniquity.

In the end, a decision may not appear outwardly, but it will be of the heart… where decisions are made and where decisions matter.p.s. Thanks again, Jill, for the beautifully succinct comment post regarding this matter and God’s eternal purpose.

I was going along and got tripped in the school yard and the contents of my knapsack was strewn all over… but I’ll gather things up and attempt to get my papers in order and have something to share in the morning.

I was going to write a bit more about the blessing of children and the brevity of seasons… time doesn’t allow for that right now. I spent it in reply to comments on friday’s blog.

Birth-Control vs Lordship of the Womb

…and there is really so much to say on this matter.

As I was sharing yesterday and the day before on some pretty sensitive matters, I recognize that the matter of marriage, family size, the sovereignty of God and Lordship of the womb is probably one of the most volatile topics concerning marriage and family… and, sadly, is not embraced and promoted by the mainstream Christian writers/teachers/preachers in the church today and is seldom embraced by Christians in general — what a pitiful indictment against the church. Actually, I think that birth control and immodest and/or gender-neutral clothing are a couple of the most blatant. Both pit believers against God’s design. What a sad commentary – what a pitiful contradiction of the Word.
So I’ve continued to mull over the consequences of birth-control or the determined limiting of family size or the selfish, purposeful prevention of conception all together. The consequences are both huge and lasting and I believe the enormity of longterm effects in and through the church cannot be measured. Intentional barrenness is a strong delusion and judgment. Consider, simply, the contradiction to God’s Word those tiny little pills on a wheel present. Consider God’s eternal purpose and the design those little pills violate.Consider… the apple.

And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food,
and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired
to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat,
and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.
Genesis 3.6

Just like that pretty red apple was, I think Birth-control is that expedient or pragmatic approach to most all many relationships marriages. But, in reality, we as Christians are not called to pragmatic living or to expedient living—we are called to faith. We are called to trust. I suppose that’s why I respond so ardently in opposition to things I know to be in violation of God’s design. The Bible isn’t antiquated, blessings aren’t antiquated and prayer is not passé. So, why then do most Christians deny the LORD in this area or reject His design for women, for marriage, for family and for the home? Now, it might not be an obvious or intentional rejection, but, in reality, Christians reject God’s design.

God’s so “pro-life!” just look at the intentional design of men and women… think of the millions of opportunities He has designed to meet *one* egg! Over and over and over… month after month. Now, that’s PRO-life! He surely didn’t have latex in mind back in the garden! And I don’t think it’s in His design today. He didn’t hand Eve her little leaf-purse size wheel of pills to take for three weeks of every month… especially when those little pills not only manipulate her cycle but also do not prevent conception… pregnancies are ended but conceptions aren’t prevented. What a sad sad thing… the church stands in line to swallow. If you’ve got a prescription for ten or twenty more years of blessing control, then I would respectfully ask you to pray about the next pill you intend to swallow. You may never have thought to question the methods you follow or the seemingly normal course of your life. You’d be innocently following what most people in the Church are teaching today (whether in the pulpits or by their lives). But—-when you are faced with the reality of the truth—when you truly hear the Truth of the Word… then… then, at that moment, at that point: you are responsible for your actions/decisions/behaviour. O, your actions may not instantly follow – but I’d say that like in all other areas of spiritual conviction, obedience is key. Prayer is key.
I had a comment that referenced the concept of “full quiver” thinking and I thought on that quite a bit—and respect what the writer was saying. Actually, I’ve thought on the matter quite a bit for many years and have many times attempted to personally steer clear of that label “full quiver” simply bcz I think it tends to do what birth-control does—only, in reverse. I think just as using birth control to limit family size is manipulative, so also (as many attempt to do) attempting to “have as many as possible” is sort of man-centered. And then… what often follows is another sad commentary bcz when man suddenly feels over loaded or “can’t handle anymore” then many (I’ve known) suddenly say: enough’s enough and the quiver is “full.”In the strictest sense or the intended sense of the term “quiverful” I suppose is, if a couple genuinely determines to be full-quiver or quiverful minded, then they just determine to leave the “quiver” open and the Lord fills it with arrows as He chooses… and in that, I would fully understand and agree with.But I think the problem with saying outloud that one is “quiverful minded” is that it tends to ostracize those with few or none and elevate those with “many.” I’ve known quite a number of women who have completely given the matter of conception and pregnancy to the LORD and yet have one, none or few children. There are many explanations for the none, one or few children… diabetes, pcos, cancer, endometriosis, hormone imbalances, age and on and on – just to name a few. These women are just as QF as the ones who’ve carried many children. So, that’s why I tend to avoid that label and attempt to strictly concentrate on the Lordship issue or position. For, when one is simply submitted to the LORD and to whatever He leads, directs, provides, etc., then whatever the outcome: none, few, many: will have been of faith. Period.

I’d just implore praying the LORD would provide the table… that the husband and wife could dine together and then as they thank the LORD for His mercy, His grace and His precious gift of salvation — for one another, for the meal they share and for His provision, that they would just humbly ask if He’d provide more chairs. And, if He sees fit to do so, then… praise. If not, then… praise. He is the LORD.It’s never too late to surrender one’s life, home, marriage, womb, children… to the LORD. O, the enemy will make it seem that way, but it is *never* too late this side of heaven. It’s never too late to repent of failings, of fear, of lack of faith, of surgical or chemical decisions/actions and it’s never too late to turn from following the ways of the lost and yield to the Living Lord. Never… it’s never too late this side of Heaven. You may never have another child. You may never bear a child in your womb. Lordship of the womb is not about numbers of children conceived there… it’s simply about faith regarding whatever does or does not happen there.

Choose you this day whom you will serve… And if anything but skin has come between you and your husband… pray. The LORD hears prayer. And He answers.

Lord of the Womb… another non-optional.

I’m steeped in thought about this matter this morning – not just bcz of celebrating another birthday in our home and not just bcz I wrote about some non-optionals yesterday… but bcz another day passes that reminds me that the season of childbearing has passed on by and I’m beginning to walk through the leaves and am no longer sitting under the shade trees of summer.

So, I think further on non-optionals – and today: the non-option of the lordship of the womb. The womb belongs chiefly and solely to the LORD, our Creator. We were created by Him for His glory. He is our Creator and He *is* creative in and through us! Wow. It’s both humbling and exhilarating to even catch a glimpse of the power of this thought-this Truth. He is the Creator-He is Lord. He is Lord of our lives, Lord of our homes, Lord of our marriage, and Lord of all that concerns us. And that… that should naturally be followed by the acknowledgment that He is also Lord of the womb. One would think that above all people on the earth, Christians would stand in awe of this Truth (and live it out!). But, no, Christians— (should be) followers of Jesus Christ— seem, on the whole, to be least likely to embrace this Truth.

I think this is part of the fallout from the teaching and preaching that says, man is created with a god-shaped whole in his heart that only God can fill and that man needs to embrace God for a life of lasting happiness, yada, yada, yada. No… man is born in sin and eternally separated from God and cannot escape death and eternal judgment apart from a life redeemed in salvation by faith and trust in and through Jesus Christ. So teachers/preachers do an incredible disservice (and actually preach a different little “g” gospel) to their hearers when they teach health, wealth, prosperity and lasting happiness – instead of teaching/preaching the Truth of the Supreme Righteousness of God and life and salvation through faith in Him alone. It is then that believers walk in Truth that God is sovereign, that He *is* Lord and He *is* to be feared and He *is* to be trusted and He *is* to have the preeminence in our lives and we *are* to honour, obey, seek, serve and worship *Him!*

Instead… today we have a misinterpretation —a social gospel— that man decides what’s best for man, man decides what *he* thinks seems right and what feels good for wherever he’s at at the time through his version or fluid interpretation of what he wants God’s Word to say and mean. Dangerous. Relativism is probably the most destructive element in the church today… but, interestingly, it really doesn’t matter what man thinks, does or says… bcz God *is* still on the throne and He *is* still Lord of all – whether *all* or few or none think so or not. God is the LORD.

Now why is all that important to the topic of Lordship of the womb? Bcz and incorrect or an erroneous view of God leads to an erroneous view of the Christian walk and, more specifically, a flawed foundation for marriage.

Today, and I am speaking of Christian marriage here, we see a great deal of the infiltration of worldly thought. Consider: young couples marry. Brides, for the most part, look *just like* the world, not sacred and covered, are prepped for their life ahead by the standards of the world, thus, marriages begin on a foundation set by the standards of world. Both work outside the home -roles are blended or are interchangeable. The marriage bed is defiled. The plan is not for God to bless the home and the womb – but rather the couple sets out to make the plan–seeking “their own way” for their marriage. The first step taken before marriage (even if they physically-relationally stay “pure”) is to be sure and get some barrier for the marriage bed. There seems to be no thought for the biblical standards or design of marriage – though they are clear. From the beginning, the standard of, or the design for, marriage is very clear. But, since we have an enemy of our souls, the enemy of God, it surely stands to reason that marriage will be the clearest target—especially when we know that God says that marriage is a picture of Christ and the church. Whew! That’s big–that’s tremendous! So the distortion of marriage, of the home, and centrally: the destruction of godly seed, is the chief aim of the enemy of our souls–the enemy of God. But remember, satan is a defeated foe (else the death, resurrection and life of Jesus was for naught) and death has no more dominion over the believer in Jesus. That is the record.

I share all that bcz I see more and more that when the foundation is incorrect or flawed, then the whole building is out of kilter. And this is seen nowhere more clearly than in the way and working of the Christian home. The enemy will use all sorts of tactics to destroy the home… if he can’t do it through simply breaking down the marriage through by lust, pornography, etc., etc., then he’ll go through the wife by fear, covetousness, discontent, etc., etc., and the place of greatest attack will be in the womb.

Many years ago we sat in a forum where people were discussing the greatest threat to the Church. People threw out ideas as to what those threats might be. After a couple of hours and much debate, I sheepishly contended that birth-control is one of the greatest threats to the church today. That was close to twenty years ago – and I thought I felt pretty strongly about it then – but today… this many years later, I couldn’t be more resolute in that stand. I actually liken it to the abortion holocaust in America (and around the world); it (along with its close cousin: pornography) is the holocaust of the Christian marriage.

I know that’s a bold statement. I know it’s a strong position to take—that birth-control has no place in the Christian marriage. It’s a strong and loaded statement to say that birth-control is for people who shouldn’t be getting pregnant. And who shouldn’t be getting pregnant? People who are not married. So who shouldn’t be in that position? Anyone who is not married… and on and on. Birth-control is license to sin. Yeah. Just like pornography is license to commit adultery. Yeah. It’s all man-centered… it’s the infiltration of secular humanism… man does what man thinks is best and it’s according to man’s interpretation of what is.
So… no birth-control. Then should Christians try and have as many babies as possible? No. Should Christians work their situation to make fertility favourable? No… not really. For that is as man-centered manipulation – not faith. We are called to walk by faith, not by sight. I never think that couples should try and have as many babies as *they* can. That’s (to me) a roundabout form of birth-control. I think and say that Christian couples should *not* fear what God will do in and through them and should *wait* on Him for *His* provision —whatever that is. And… amazingly, that might be many, it might be none, it might be few, it might be one: child/ren. What is true is that it’s God’s creation. His and His alone. If we believe He is God (and He is) and we say we trust Him, then we trust Him. Period. We trust Him.

His ways are not our ways, His ways are higher than our ways. We cannot see. Period. We cannot see… the great and marvelous things He has planned for us, the ways He has for us to bring Him glory and honour. Some will have many, some will have few, some will have none… BUT! we should all be glad for His blessings… whatever they are. And children are a blessing… God says they are. We should live in, or seek to live in, agreement with what *He* says is true. I’ll write more about this tomorrow… for the topic is great and it’s importance cannot really be measured.
I have this on one of my pages on our website:
So again I say, sisters: pray… study, pray, research and trust God for His direction, plans and purposes in your life and trust Him for the outcome! Do this: Pray! Prove all things, hold fast that which is good!! I do not believe that there is a drug, an herb, a method or a formula or any other performance that can be prescribed and followed in order to bring about or “make” conception happen outside living according to God’s marvelous design for marriage. It is and will only be: God. It is God who opens and God who closes the womb. It’s all God. I simply believe He gives us understanding, nutrients, etc., to be prepared for His ways should He choose to so move and bring about pregnancy.”

Non-optionals

Time’s a strange thing… it has a wonderful and peculiar way of sort of settling things. Sort of like a river finds that level ground or a lake is formed with the pooling of water… people’s ideas or methods seem to me to tend to be like that. I think of the people who used to think like me and no longer do and people who never thought like me and do so now. People who, through a series of circumstances and events have changed their once staunchly held views and those who once held views in strict opposition to ones I’ve held for many years are now visiting with me about what I consider to be “non-optionals” for Christian women.

When I was pregnant with Kathryn, a book came out on the market and was thought by many in the Christian community to be a rather far out book, narrow in scope and position. A friend gave me a copy bcz she thought the woman sounded just like me. Now, at that time I had come to the living decision that God was indeed the supreme authority of the family and blessed controller of all things and surely the Lord of the womb. This was sort of an uncommon thought even in Christian circles – and, sadly, it’s remained so, for the most part. But these thoughts were becoming increasingly important to me… thoughts concerning the life and ways of the Proverbs 31 woman, the 1 Peter 3 wife and the Ephesians 5 marriage… Soon, it was no longer just head knowledge from Bible studies and other reading, but it had become heart knowledge as I watched Him guide our marriage and provide for our family.

So I read Mary Pride’s TheWayHome and of course it resonated with me and I was sort of armed for service, if you will, as I spoke to other sisters about my ardent beliefs. I was actually quite alone – I came to discover. I was especially mindful of this when I would see the women sort of glaze over at the thoughts I was sharing. Well… that really didn’t deter me in the slightest. Actually it all sort of fanned the flame and fueled the fire as I read more and more of the Bible from the perspective of full and total surrender. I think in time I met a couple of friends who saw things the way I did and what a delight it was to talk with them. And then, in time, I would meet a few others who shared my same passion for the Word, for family, for keeping at home, for childbearing and, eventually, homeschooling. But it was a long and rather lonely path at first.

Only now do I have great “come backs” for the arrogant and rude comments I received when I was “popping out children one after another.” To those who said things like: We know what you’ve been doing… I would now wish I had not been so sheepish and apologetic. I wish I had had the fortitude to say: And you don’t? To those who said, Don’t you know what causes that? I would like to have said, Yes, but I sure am sorry you and your husband can’t seem to figure it out. To those who said, We want to take good care of the ones we’ve got or we just want to be responsible… I wish I’d have had the temerity to say, I just want what God wants and I just want to be faithful to Him.

Instead… each time (early on) I would smile and sheepishly reply some inane apology or something. But then one or two more children would be born and my conviction was strengthened and bolstered to the point that I began to reply with comments that reflected my resolve to trust and obey the LORD and to give Him the glory due His name. For by then, surely, I had seen His glory and His provision in ways too numerous to count. I began to develop and solidify the non-optionals that have been mainstays for many years.
In the early days, it was very rare to meet women with strong convictions about marriage and family. It was so rare to meet women who had totally given their family size and order to the LORD. It was also very rare to meet women with strong conviction to follow the biblical mandates for wives and so, it was really a blessing to have been in those “right places at the right times” for the LORD to work in our home.
When we lived on an island in the San Juan’s, there was much time for reading and memorizing Scriptures. There was much time for gardening, washing, canning, sewing and caring for the children. I was steeped in His Word and I am more convinced than ever that if a woman would just spend time in the Word —reading and reading and reading… she’d come to the very same conclusions. God is so merciful and His Word is so living.

As this day comes to a close, I am mindful of the glory and precious mercy of the LORD. We celebrated the twelfth birthday of our eighth son. O, how I love that boy. What a precious gift he is. How much we’d have missed if we hadn’t been led of the LORD… and obeyed His call.

I think I’ll write some more about non optionals for Christian women. I know I’ll probably be writing into space… but that’s okay… I’ve done that a lot over the years.

justaslice

I’m sick. No, really I am… You thought I just might be launching into a rant about some political matter or societal issue or something, no? OR that I stepped off the face of the earth…
No… really, I actually feel like I just stepped off a rollercoaster ride that’s been going loop-de-loop nonstop since last week. And, really, it’s been quite a delightful ride—it’s just that it sure was time to get off, make a big pot of chicken vegetable soup, and work at a plan to go to bed early tonight. We’ve had a houseful for the last several days and so it seems as though I’ve been standing in the kitchen for days, washing, prepping, cooking, washing, serving, washing, shopping for more, prepping, washing, cooking, serving, washing, pouring, washing, cooking… so I woke up with a very sore throat and achy body and knew the end of the line had come and it was time to hop off the ride and back into bed.

So what was all the excitement? In addition to a few evenings of dinner-for-many… pizza and barbecue, etc., etc. and our church meeting here on Sunday, some young friends came over from Idaho to go skydiving at the nearby airport and, as usually happens, the weather was unpredictable, overcast and drizzly most all the time they were here -except- for a couple of wonderful openings in the skies for the two different jumps they were able to make. Everyone was ecstatic to watch then jump from the plane and then with baited breath waited for what seemed an eternity for the chutes to pop open and, even then, they seemed to dangle in the sky for several minutes on the way down. And just as amazing, the clouds seemed to close up moments after their safe landing. (I hope to have some pics of this soon)

It really was fun to have the house full of friends each day and………..

back to blogging… later. 😉

Significant Stones…

I have a number of significant stones in my garden—stones that represent milestones, significant dates, achievements, answers to prayer, the names and birthdates of each of our children and grandchildren. There are stones that reflect ways the LORD has worked a special situation and there are a few larger stones—rocks, really, that represent some of the more difficult times or seasons. So, in addition to all the roses and some smaller flowering plants and bulbs, the garden is a collection of faith markers… stones that we’ve passed over.

The stones tell stories—or at least they represent stories, for each event, each milestone, each child, each blessing is a story in itself. I don’t want to forget any of them and I don’t want our children to forget them. I think that’s one of the significant things I notice about Deuteronomy 6.7-9

And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

I want the children to ask me about things and then I want the stones to be a reminder to them of what God has done—and when they see their own name on a stone, I want them to see that they, too, are significant and that their life has tremendous meaning and value: it’s a gift and blessing in my life and is of great worth to me and, more importantly, to the LORD. They are the most significant stones in the garden of my life.

The stone in our gardens allow me to tell the stories and they also bring to light the stories we read in the Word. It adds depth to passages we read to them concerning the telling of what God has done.

Further in Deuteronomy 6, we read:

And when thy son asketh thee in time to come, saying, What mean the testimonies, and the statutes, and the judgments, which the LORD our God hath commanded you? Then thou shalt say unto thy son, We were Pharaoh’s bondmen in Egypt; and the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand: And the LORD shewed signs and wonders, great and sore, upon Egypt, upon Pharaoh, and upon all his household, before our eyes: And he brought us out from thence, that he might bring us in, to give us the land which he sware unto our fathers. And the LORD commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as it is at this day. And it shall be our righteousness, if we observe to do all these commandments before the LORD our God, as he hath commanded us. (6.20-25)

Some may wonder how I got started writing on all these stones and I’m not so sure when or how it all began, but I simply began writing names with acrylic paint and then paint pens and sort of kept going through the years. Many of the stones need to be rewritten or touched up and I notice from time to time that a stone has walked away from my garden… when the little children here or the grandchildren learn that those particular stones need to stay in the garden, they stop carrying them around the yard. I notice that some stones have become buried over the years… and I hadn’t even noticed that they were missing or lost… and it’s in pulling weeds that I find them.

And… pulling weeds? O, that’s a story for tomorrow.

Kathryn is home……..

and we are so grateful to the LORD for His wonderful provision, protection and care for her over the last several months she’s been gone working at an orphanage in Jinja, Uganda.

I had intended to write about this last week when she first arrived home, but time didn’t permit much computer use and I was actually so wonderfully overwhelmed with her being home that I didn’t take the time to write about it. I can now look at her homecoming a bit more objectively and probably say more than the words: praise, praise, praise the LORD she’s home!

She had a wonderful time – an experience of a lifetime, really. It was one of those rare opportunities in life to fully and utterly and completely trust in, lean on and submit to the LORD in a way such as never before experienced. If you’ve read her letters, you will have a glimpse of what she did there and about life in Jinja, Uganda from the eyes of a mzungo.
Perhaps in a day or so she will post a final letter to family and friends and I will post that one as well. She blessed us so much with her letters, and now so much more as she tells us things she couldn’t explain from that distance. Trials she couldn’t explain, things she faced were tremendously used of the LORD for her good and His glory. We couldn’t see all that at the time — not really. And, in reality, we will likely never know how she actually lived day by day there. In the comfort of this American home, there is little or no way to comprehend caring for babies with little hope for the future, some with AIDS or some with TB or malaria, women who live in mud huts and work at the orphanage for the equivalent of $30. (usd) per month. I could see from her stories that in Jinja, there’s a strange mix of beauty and abject poverty — a strange mix of modern efficiency, convenience and elegance contrasted by crudely primitive living. We cannot fathom —not really, living days without water or parts of each day without electricity or propane for cooking. We cannot fathom not drinking water from faucets or most all the other “comforts” —luxuries, really, that we take for granted and assume are our given rights every single day.

So now… home means: showers, yogurt, chicken, strawberries, a comfortable bed, no mosquito nets or spray, drinks of water at the kitchen sink, way too many choices at the grocery store, no washing off the red clay dirt on her feet each night, and no $bx. O, and driving. The price of gas went up $ignificantly in the time she’s been gone. But… we don’t begrudge her at all for just wanting to drive around at odd times… just to drive. And think.

We smile with her, we listen to her stories, we cry with her, we cry for her; happy she’s home.
But home also means… no orphan babies who hold a piece of her heart. Home means good bye for now to friends who were so dear and true there in Jinja. Home means decadence and plenty while there is so much need and so many needs to be met. Home means someone else holds the babies she can only now hold in her heart. Home means she can only visit in pictures the different ones who work day after day to care for the babies there. Home means she must wrestle with what she’s seen and lived and what she sees and lives.
It was hard for us to conceive of the living conditions when we heard about the disparities each time we talked to Kathryn over the months she was gone there. Only now, in pictures and through her accounts of the days there, are we able to gain a bit of perspective of the poverty and all that goes with that. And only now are we really able to see how much that meant to her and how deeply it affected her life. Even though she’s eager to step back “into life” here and even though she’s obviously very happy to be home… pieces of her heart are missing… we see that each day.

God is good.

All the time.

boys…

Andrew…

“Mama, I know how to make people’s heads go away from me [lean back]!”

He then licks his finger and directs it toward my face… and I lean my head back. He nearly falls down laughing. I laugh too. Then I watch him go into the other room and proceed to tell the others the same thing. They all lean back, too. He laughs, they laugh.

Naomi attempts the same trick. Licks her finger, points it toward Andrew’s face, he unconsciously leans back. They both laugh hysterically.
This truly is a slice of my life. It’s but one of the many daily occurrences in our home.

(O, and I put up a few pics on the slices of life page – fun!)