the battle

Upon waking this morning, I realized I already faced a battle. A battle of my will, my flesh and my faith. I realized that before I even rose from the warm bed, that had allowed me comfort and safety through the night, I was faced with a tap from the that enemy I know so well but often fail to recognize until I’m engulfed in whatever activity the enemy has engaged me. The enemy is stronger than my determination, more powerful than my desire and more persistent than my resolve. I know the enemy’s name: it is self. So even before I set foot on the carpet I realized Self had been awake before I was conscious of the morning light. Self always seeks its own way.

And so I was faced with the decision to look to the LORD… to look to the hills, so to speak, from whence comes my help. I’ve sought to have my first waking thought to be of the LORD and so I called on Him—proclaiming His goodness and faithfulness, I stepped. I took another and another, fully realizing that in the dim morning’s light and the quiet of my home there was a battle raging and it was Self’s battle for my will, my attention and my affection. In that moment I realized, instantly, that the LORD Jesus, who had been my help through the day before, my Protector through the night and my Provision for the morning, was right beside me—was before me and was behind me. And I said to Him… O, LORD, I am weak and Self is more powerful than my will. Self’s lies are not from You; please help me to walk in faith, please help me to, in faith, follow You through this day.

……It’s only food. A little’s not going to do anything. You never stay on a diet anyway. Really, you don’t look that bad. You’re so vain. You tried all this before and sure, you did lose weight and it did feel good, but you did gain half of it back… and then some. You probably won’t make it…

Prayer is ruin’s remedy, doubt’s destroyer, the cure of all cares, the antidote to all anxieties, the grand panacea for all pains, and the golden key that can open the gate of mercy!” Charles Spurgeon

So I put my trust in God, I waited on Him and affirmed, surely He never leaves me nor forsakes me. I reaffirmed that through every moment of every moment the day previous, He was there. He was my strong tower, my refuge.

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shalldeliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.” Psalm 91.1-3

I read and I read further. I pray and I sing: The LORD is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life. Of whom shall I be afraid?

Teach me. O God, to use all the circumstances of my life today that they may bring forth in me the fruits of holiness rather than the fruits of sin.

Let me use disappointment as material for patience:
Let me use success as material for thankfulness:
Let me use suspense as material for perseverance:
Let me use danger as material for courage:
Let me use reproach as material for longsuffering:
Let me use praise as material for humility:
Let me use pleasures as material for temperance:
Let me use pains as material for endurance.”

John Baillie

So today is the second day of my umpteenth and one diet. I will trust in the LORD who only makes me dwell in safety… and who will deliver me from the noisome pestilence of Self.