Category: Motherhood

Labels and Names

coffecupI’m mulling over a Kelly Crawford “quiverfull” article I read yesterday.  It so resonated with me (as her writings often do) and brought to mind several related labels and names.  One thing that came to mind almost immediately is the number of times recently that I’ve wanted to distance myself from a particular word, practice, inference, organization, person, product, etc., etc., when any one of them failed or turned out to be different than  I thought or understood them to be — or when my personal definition or application of a particular word or practice didn’t/doesn’t line up with whatever the latest scandal portrays.   As in, say, quiverfull or large family or homeschooling or complementarian or Christian or a myriad of other buzzwords in the news.  Lots of times it’s not the words used, necessarily, but the way they’re used (and especially the inflection of voice in the way they’re spoken).

Immediately, I want to say (usually only in my head as I pull weeds in the garden), yes, but I’m not that kind of homeschooler, I’m not that kind of large family, I’m not that kind of mother, etc., etc.  I’m not in that kind of homeschool program or that kind of church or whatever.  Sometimes I have to add: well, not any more.

Sometimes my (or your)  “not any more” occurred long before the publication of a ‘bad report’ or a scandal.  I know that, and you know that, but maybe others don’t that. And I am (or you are) still assumed to be connected to/with or defined by a particular name or label.  And probably a misunderstood, misinformed idea and/or mischaracterization of that name or label.

So my thought here is that all these different media assertions, characterizations or biases are very instructive. First they instruct me to be very careful regarding my alignment with a particular personality or program.  Then I need to be careful what message I portray and how my actions affect or represent that message. Then I need to pay close attention to respectfully hear objections and discern the motive behind the messages.  Is the message really an attack on me?  Probably not, but is rather an attack because of a preconceived notion or because of a negative experience with whatever I seem to represent.  So then, should I take it personally?  Probably not. No.

So you have a bunch of kids.  Doesn’t make you The Dugger’s… ‘makes you a mom with a bunch of kids like a whole bunch of other moms with a bunch of kids and they aren’t The Dugger’s either.  So you homeschool and/or you only wear dresses and/or you dress modestly (or whatever other thing you do or don’t do, the best you know how).  Doesn’t make you Amish or ATI or Mennonite or part of a cult or whatever… ‘makes you just a woman who’s made some decisions that are different than some decisions others have made.  And you go on.  So you take a stand for Biblical, traditional marriage.  And you’re castigated for it.  You’re wrongly labeled as phobic or narrow minded or intolerant.  Think it not strange.  Their comments don’t make you any of those things… just continue on in faith, trusting the Lord to bring about His plans and purposes in all these things.  Sure, all these different misunderstandings are painful and difficult.  And, sure they’re inaccurate — but we are told in Scripture that in this world we will have tribulation.  But the big deal is that Jesus didn’t stop there — He went on to say that we are to be of good cheer.  And what is the basis of that cheer?  Jesus. He tells us that in Him we might have peace and that peace is because of who He is and who we are in Him and because He has overcome the world. (John 16.33) So, we can be overcomers.  That’s powerful. That’s Good News!

And you know how else all the mislabeling instructs me?  I’m instructed to be very careful how I might be mislabeling others, making wrong assumptions of others, mischaracterizing others.  I am reminded to be careful to not jump to conclusions about a matter based on a preconceived notion or experience (good or bad for that matter) and then have to back-peddle when more information becomes apparent.  I see more and more why we need to be in the Word, in prayer, and walking in faith.  And that’s where iron sharpening iron sorts of friendships also help us get and stay on track.

Creating Inspired Moments

thestarbucksapronI have a few Starbucks aprons I’ve picked up, second hand, along the way.  One of them has a printed tape inside the top of the apron.  I’m assuming it was positioned there so that it would be seen (and intentionally read) each time the barista positioned the neck strap and donned the apron.

As with many other aprons I have, I’ve worn this one many times.  Until recently, I never even noticed the black tape sewn inside the top band of that apron.  Thus, I’d never read the message intended for the baristas:

We create inspired moments
in each customer’s day.
ANTICIPATE   CONNECT   PERSONALIZE   OWN

I’ve written about aprons a few times — even have some for sale — that’s how important or meaningful aprons are to me.  And I think they ought to have a more prominent role in kitchens.  But that’s another blog-post for another day.

Creating inspired moments… 

 Do I do this?  I mean, do I intentionally work to create inspired moments?  Immediately I dismiss the notion —  I mean, how can *I* create an *inspired* moment?  Inspired moments are, after all, simply that: inspired.  But then I think on this some more.  And some more. I think on Proverbs 16.9: “A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.”  I make plans and the Lord makes/creates/directs inspired moments.

Inspired — from Webster’s 1828: Breathed in; infused; Informed or directed by the Holy Spirit.

So then,  inspired moments are those moments that are composed, directed, or Divinely influenced.  Immediately my thoughts are taken to Genesis 24.27 (Abraham’s servant): “…I being in the way, the Lord led me...”

And then I’m humbled:  Lord, I want to be in the way… I want to be in the way where You’ll lead me.  I want the moments I live to be: inspired moments — the actions I take to be: inspired actions — the decisions I make to be: inspired decisions.

And then I’m inspired:  Lord, will You do this for me, in me, with me?  Can mornings be filled with inspired moments? Can our dinner meals together be not just meals but inspired moments?  Can I learn to watch for opportunities for inspired moments? Can I learn to speak to my children in such a way that it will not be me, necessarily, but an inspired word?  Can I intentionally, daily, work to create an atmosphere of inspired moments in our home?  Instead of mundane dailies, can I work to see my tasks as inspired moments? Can I love my husband in ways that will capture his heart and affirm my desire for him in inspired moments?  Can I live as a woman whose daily walk is one of cultivating opportunities for inspired moments?

O, that I not forget tomorrow what the Lord has taught me today.  When I put on an apron – this, or any other – may I remember the awesome opportunity I have to walk in the way of inspired moments.  May I seek to anticipate, connect, personalize and own the opportunities set before me.  Ultimately, may the Lord be the inspiration of all my moments.

Baby days: ‘Groaning Cake’

teacuppamela

These are exciting days as we eagerly anticipate the call that labour’s begun for the newest grandbaby. I feel as though I, too, have been nesting as I’ve been gathering things for the birthing day, excitedly anticipating, along with our son and daughter-in-law, the birth of this little one.

Kate and I were talking the other day about things she’s still needing for the upcoming birthing day… and she mentioned Groaning Cake.  I’d not heard of the cake by that name, specifically, but it sounded a lot like ‘energy muffins‘ I’ve made for labouring and beyond.  After a brief search, I found the recipe and saw that the ingredients were quite similar.  So, in the next couple of days I’ve be preparing Groaning Cake for Kate.

This, from Ami McKay’s The Birth House, ““The tradition of a groaning cake, or kimbly, at birth is an ancient one. Wives’ tales say that the scent of the groaning cake being baked in the birth house helps to ease the mother’s pain. Some say if a mother breaks the eggs while she’s aching, her labour won’t last as long. Others say that if a family wants prosperity and fertility, the father must pass pieces of the cake to friends and family the first time the mother and baby are “churched” (or the first time they go to a public gathering) after a birth.”

Groaning Cake

— Aube Giroux,  Kitchen Vignettes

  • 3 cups whole wheat or spelt flour
  • 1 Tbsp baking powder
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 tps salt
  • Spice mix: 1 Tbsp cinnamon, 1 tsp ginger, 1 tsp nutmeg, 1/2 tsp cloves, 1 tsp ground fennel seeds, 1 tsp ground fenugreek)
  • 3/4 cup butter, at room temperature
  • 3/4 cup honey
  • 2 Tbsp molasses
  • 4 eggs
  • 2 Tbsp rum (optional)
  • 1/3 cup whole milk yogurt
  • 1/3 cup whole milk
  • 1/2 cup grated apple (loose, not packed in)
  • 1/2 cup grated carrot (loose, not packed in)
  • 1/2 cup grated zucchini (loose, not packed in)
  • 1/2 cup grated coconut
  • 3/4 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
  • For the cream cheese icing:
  • 1 x 8 oz package of cream cheese, at room temperature
  • 3 Tbsp maple syrup

Directions

  1. Preheat the oven to 350F. In a large bowl, whisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, spice mix, and walnuts (if using).
  2. Put the butter in a medium metal bowl and place it in the hot oven until it begins to melt a bit. Remove from the oven. Add the honey and molasses and whisk until blended. Add the rum and mix well, until heavy and silky.
  3. In a separate mixing bowl, beat the eggs until frothy. Add the yoghurt, milk, grated apple, grated carrot, grated zucchini, and coconut. Add this to the honey-butter mixture and mix well. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and fold gently, until the batter is homogeneous. Be careful not to overmix.
  4. Pour into an oiled and floured 10-inch springform cake pan and bake for 35 to 45 minutes in a 350F oven. The cake is done when the top is golden and a toothpick comes out clean. Cake should be cooled for about 10 minutes in the pan, and then removed from the pan to continue cooling on a rack.
  5. To make the frosting, blend the room temperature cream cheese and maple syrup, using a hand blender or electric mixer. Refrigerate until cake has cooled. Once the cake has cooled, butter the frosting on top of the cake. Slice and serve.
  6. This cake can be made ahead and wrapped in plastic wrap or aluminum and kept for 1 to 2 days at room temperature. The cream cheese icing should be kept in the fridge until ready to use.

Thanks for reading today, by the way! Hope your day’s a happy one! ♥

Motherhood: A Call to Carry On

Carry on.  When you’re drop dead tired and there’re still several hours and as many chores left to do at the end of the day: Carry on.  When you have so much to do you don’t know how you’ll do it all: Carry on.  When you have so many needs to fill and seemingly not enough resources to fill them all: Carry on.  When you’re weary and successes are few and failures are many: Carry on.  When you feel all alone and as if no one cares for what you do: Carry on. 

Carry on, Mother, carry on!  Motherhood’s a call to carry on.  No matter what you think, how you feel or how things seem to appear, as a mother, you’re called to carry on.

I was mulling over this message, I got to thinking about flying; the hustle and bustle of the airport, the waiting in line, the scans and the check-points.  You board the plane and you prepare for the flight ahead and you sit back and either endure or enjoy the ride.  You don’t really worry about your baggage, for at that point there’s really nothing you can do about it anyway.  But there’s still your “carry on” stuff… the stuff you need to be responsible to take care of.  All the while, it’s up to you to make the best of the flight or perhaps by default, just choose to snooze or endure the passage of miles and time. 

Motherhood’s a lot like that… you may come into it with lots of baggage, but there comes a point that you need to put the baggage down and “check it” as it were, and deal with your carry-on’s.  You know, it’s interesting how baggage goes… it’s all the stuff we think we’ll need for the trip; it’s all the stuff we thought we couldn’t live without; it’s all the stuff that follows us wherever we go and much of it doesn’t do us any good or isn’t actually useful or necessary for the trip –we usually find that out when we reach the destination.  Actually, for most all of us, what’s really important is what’s in our carry-on’s.  We usually pack the most important things in our carry-on’s – our valuables, our money, our credit, our identification, our appearance enhancing tools, and other necessities.  Problem is, many mothers get bogged down with their heavy baggage and are consumed with looking at it, thinking about it, rifling through it, trying to carry it around –that  they forget to hang on tight to their precious carry-on’s.   Many mothers are more concerned with the baggage… the things, the what if’s, the furnishings, the styles, the weights of the world, the what-will-other-people-think’s in life. 

It’s what’s in the carry-on that is most important —You  keep the carry-on stuff intact, chances are good that no matter what happens to the baggage, you’ll still make it though the trip just fine.  Your ‘carry-on’ is usually what you need for the trip… the stuff in the carry-on is your treasure.  Well, this is sort of a description of motherhood, but as analogies usually do, this analogy breaks down at some point. 

Motherhood’s a call to carry on.  But we don’t carry on alone.  O, the enemy may attempt to persuade us that we’re alone, that no one else is doing what we’re doing, that we have too much to carry or not enough help with what we’ve got to carry or that our load is heavier that other mother’s loads or worse: that our load or the work we carry is not all that important – that anyone can do it.  Truth is, whatever the LORD’s given us to do is ours to do – not someone else’s to carry and do.  That’s why the LORD has so faithfully preserved His Word, given us His direction and defined our roles as mothers.  Many mothers attempt to carry baggage that’s not even theirs to carry –as if what they’ve got isn’t enough already.  Many mothers think they’ve got to do all the lifting and carrying and, really, the LORD never intended mothers to do all that some do.  O, some things are noble, even admirable, but they’re not necessarily what the LORD designed and called them to do. 

So, how do we carry on?  Well, I’ve come to see that carrying on is probably best defined as obedience – obedience to the will and way of the LORD and nothing else – for  obedience sort of sums up the whole of the Christian walk. It’s hearing what you’re being told and doing it.  And for mothers, it’s what we do (or ought to do) and what we teach (or ought to teach).  As we walk with the LORD and live in obedience to Him, He enables us to hear Him and to obey Him –that’s the precious work of the Holy Spirit.  As we live and walk in obedience to Him, we’re carrying on the call of motherhood.   For God calls us to obey Him and He calls us teach our children as we rise up,  as we lie down and as we walk along the way.  A mother cannot lead children where she herself is not going; a mother cannot teach what she herself has not learned or is not learning.  A mother cannot call her children to obedience if she’s not seeking that in and for herself –it’s part of that precious calling: the call to carry on.

So, precious mother, when the way is dark and the future seems bleak: carry on. When the path is rocky, windy and steep: carry on.  When life seems to be endless piles –piles of papers, piles of dishes, piles of laundry, piles of toys and books and crayons, piles of dirt and piles of chores: carry on.

And when you feel you cannot go on, stop where you are, fall to your knees and carry on.  Carry on to the LORD, He will be there, He will hear and He will carry you.  And you will see that all the while you carry on, your cares are in the hand of Jesus and all your carrying on is in His strong hand.  You will never find a time when you open the Word or fold your hands in prayer that He won’t already be there.  You’ll never find a time where your prayers are not heard by the One who loves you.  There will never ever be a time where you step out in faith or in obedience and not fin Him already there. 

If it’s been a while since you stepped aside to pray or to read the Word or to write in your journal, taste and see: the LORD is good.  He will already be there.  He will welcome you with open arms – He won’t be looking at where you haven’t been, He will be looking at your “now.”  In the moment you call upon His name, He will answer, He will be there.  Taste and see.

Dear mother, faithful and wise, you’re called to carry on – one day at a time in the hand of the Saviour.  He’s not looking at your yesterdays or even your worries about tomorrow; He’s looking at your “today” – at your “now.”  All that stuff that in the baggage?  Be done with fretting about it; be done with lesser things, be done with vain glory and all the trappings of the world.  The enemy doesn’t want you to bask in the blessing and direction of the LORD –that’s why he seeks to distract you and weigh you down –reminding you of your failures, what you don’t have and what you haven’t done –or worse: that none of it matters, that it doesn’t matter what you do.   

But today?  O, today, dear mama, today’s your new beginning. Now is the day, now is the time to carry on in His name – His wonderfully strong name.  Your children will see Him in you and they’ll see the Light on the path as you carry on.  You have a most honourable, most noble calling: that of carrying on throughout motherhood.  Be faithful.  Finish well.

 

an entry from

  Carrying on with you: in love and blessings… pamela

Being conformed…

teacuppamela

Earlier today I was reflecting on some of the unlikely ways God conforms us to the image of His dear Son — and some of the unlikely tools He chooses to use to work that conformation in us (and maybe even through us from time to time).  I asked my dear mother in law if she’d send me the quotes she was sharing with me as we talked about God’s work in our lives — I’ll share them with you when she sends them.

I’ve been sincerely amazed at the ways God works His will and His purposes in my life / in our lives.  It seems the most impossible, difficult and maybe even painful situations are the ones that bring the richest, choicest fruit in our lives.  But they are, indeed, the situations or incidents we’d most likely attempt to avoid (or choose differently) or reject.  But God doesn’t choose differently, when He works a work or plans to work a work, He has very precise purposes for the things He allows to happen in our lives — even, and not surprisingly, our most foolish or careless decisions can be used to bear rich fruit for our good and His glory. 

It’s a good thing we don’t choose the tools of our training or the methods of our sanctification — well, I’m thinking if we did/could/do attempt to choose them, our attempts would/do fail to accomplish His purposes.  First, we’d reject the tools and then we’d reject the method — thinking and reasoning that our method and our tools would be easier better wiser.  Our ways always seem at the time:  mo bettah.  A fool is wise in his own eyes…

Today I was thinking of the ways the Lord has taught me to love my children in the way He loves them.  For it was easy to love them in the way I could love them.  But along the way, He’s allowed situations to occur to teach me to love them in His way.  He’s allowed situations to occur or come to pass that would mold me or are molding me into the woman He’s created me to be.  The Lord has sought to use tools I wouldn’t have chosen — actually can’t choose to use.  And yet, in His mercy and in His kindness He is working that I might be conformed to His image. He’s also lavished grace on me (and them!) that I continually can be used in their lives, that I can continually grow and adapt as the mother they need me to be — doing what HE would have rather than what I might choose or neglect to choose to do.  And by His grace, He enables me to press on in faith that He who has begun a good work in me will complete it…

He seeks to conform us to love, to be forbearing, to be kind, to be patient, to be peaceful/peaceable, to be gentle, to be temperate and so on.   All of these qualities are the fruit of the Spirit – and we all desire to have these characterize our lives -but they’re not the fruit of self, they’re the fruit of the Spirit and they’re not planted, cultivated or increased by the flesh — again, they’re of and by the Spirit of God. 

So as I was seeking answers/fruit in some different areas, it seemed to hit me today like a ton of bricks… the answers I’m seeking — the fruit I’m desiring — is not [going to be] my doing!  It’s God’s doing! It’s God’s work: in His timing, by His will in His way.  And so as I was seeing the dawning of His work in some specific areas, I began to see this truth:  God chooses the fruit and He chooses the tools He uses to bring it about.  I want to be so yielded to Him that I will not resist the methods of His choosing and the tools He uses as He works His marvelous will in my life.

 

What’s Pulling On Your Apron Strings?

teacuppamelaWhat’s Pulling on Your Apron Strings?

That might sound like a strange title to the message I want to share with you today, but perhaps by the time you finish reading this letter, you’ll have an idea and perhaps realize some things you’ve been wanting to take care of for some time.

So, what’s pulling on your apron strings?  You know… the thing or things that nag at you or that seem to be pulling at you from one direction or many.  You may be attempting to work around your home and keep having interruptions or distractions that prevent you from accomplishing what’s really needful.  You may have plans or schedules, or wish you had plans or schedules, and yet every day something, or many things pull on your apron strings and prevent you from meaningful or notable accomplishment.

I know I have these same feelings or experiences from time to time –sort of as if nothing seems to go right or nothing measurable ever seems to get done. It’s as if at the end of each week I have relatively little to show for my efforts and certainly none for the fatigue I might be feeling.  Yet, my apron’s dirty and the strings are raveled at the end. 

Over the years I had great ambition for great things.  I wanted to spend time individually with each of the children each day; I wanted to spend time reading aloud, fixing their hair, assisting them with schoolwork, chores and prayers.  I had lofty aspirations that we would do projects, tell and record stories: that I would pass on valuable stories, life-lessons and a rich heritage…

But then, many days –most days– I would come to my bedside and realize that, once again, yet another day where I’d failed to reach my glorious ambitions.  Instead, we had just spent another day –another hum-drum day.  Together. 

Pulling at my apron strings were all the wouldda, shouldda, couldda’s and few of the atta-girl’s, way-to-go’s and wahoo’s of life.  At the point I realized that all those marvelous and coveted accolades were simply unrealistic, I also realized I truly was getting all those atta-girl’s, way-to-go’s and wahoo’s of life.  I truly had them… I just wasn’t seeing them, that’s all.  I wasn’t seeing the “atta-girl” in my son’s: “Mom, will you fix this for me? I can’t do it.” Or, in my daughter’s: “Mama, you’ve got to write down these recipes for me or I will not ever be able to cook like you!”  Or, “O, my mom will do it for you, she’s right here!”  Or,  probably the sweetest gift of all I just received and it was contained in a letter, reading: “Mama… You are the best friend I’ve ever had.”   

See, I missed the blessings by being concerned about the unimportant things or on my failings instead of what really was important for the day.

Often, pulling on my apron strings are all the things I’ve done wrong as a mother, wife or friend.  Pulling on my apron strings are the things I don’t do well or the things I don’t have (as compared with my friends) or all the ways in which my children don’t *seem* to measure up (again, compared to others’ or compared with a high ideal or whatever).   

Everyday, nagging thoughts creep in and occasionally pull me here and pull me there… and even get me all tied in knots sometimes over the silliest things – all tied up over things only the LORD can take care of or only the LORD knows about.  Sometimes all tied up over things I *imagine* to be so.  And then, I stop and think:  wait a minute… should these things be pulling at my apron strings, pulling me down in despair?  Should I be letting those thoughts come in and flood my mind, or should I take those thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ.

 I know this to be a truth: I have never given to the LORD –any thought, desire, motive, whatever that was then rejected by Him. 

 He has never yet, will never, can never: fail me.  So then, I consider at thought or a pulling on my apron strings and I ask: is this of You, LORD? Or I say, I know this is not of You, LORD, and I ask You to take this thought, desire, fear (or whatever), from me and I ask You to guide my thoughts, guard my heart and mind and help me to see only You.  Please hide me behind Your Cross, LORD.

O, sure, other women are going to have bigger, better, more than you or I; and sure, other families are going to have newer, brighter, more attractive homes, children, lives, accomplishments, etc., etc., than you or I.  But you know what?  They don’t get to be you—they don’t get to be me.  You’re uniquely you created by God, saved by Him unto faith and good works.  He loves you with an everlasting love and underneath you are His everlasting arms and in you is His eternal Spirit and surrounding you is His eternal joy of salvation in Christ Jesus.  Wow.  Now those are some pretty wonderful things.  Did you know you had all those treasures tucked in the pockets of your apron? 

 So, next time something starts pulling on your apron strings and you know it’s not simply one of the little blessings the LORD has given you, you just reach in your pocket and pull out one of the Truths of God’s Word and His love for you.

 The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.  Jeremiah 31.3

 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)  Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;  And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.”   2Corinthians 10.3-6

I pray the LORD will just bless you and bless you over and over and that you will be assured of His great love for you and that He will guide your steps and guard your thoughts.

 always in His hands,

from “Letters to my Sisters”

Keeping Up

teacuppamelaI’ve been thinking about this a lot lately… you know, keeping up.  Not the Keeping up with the Joneses sort of keeping up, but the staying strong and keeping up with the times sort of keeping up.  It’s been going on for awhile, but I hadn’t noticed it so much in the last few years as much as I have recently.

On a recent trip down to SeaTac airport, there was some questioning who’d drive and who’d stay home.  I volunteered to drive and as I was driving and the miles were passing… maybe it was mile-marker 14 or so, I mulled over the thought that I wondered  am I going the right way — or will I miss my turn-off?   Then I thought, O, that’s absurd, I go down to the airport at least once a month, if not more.  Then I got to thinking,  there sure have been a lot of changes to the Bellevue skyline and in the number of cars on the road.  And I felt old.   Music was playing… I hadn’t pushed any of the buttons (preset to stations I didn’t even know) and I noted that everyone in the vehicle was using some sort of device… listening, talking, texting… texting… texting.  And somewhere along the way, I thought: Omy, I really must work at keeping up.  A few minutes later, arriving at the departure gates, my daughter said I ought to go in and that she’d drive the van around; go ahead, mama, go ahead, I’ve got it.

Eventually I obliged and got out… still thinking, still feeling old, still thinking I need to keep up, I thought: Yes, you’ve got it; I used to have it and now I feel like I don’t.  And time seemed to stand still for a moment as I waited with the others for the passengers to deplane.  A bit later, as we made our way home, I commented to the driver, I need to keep driving sometimes — I need to stay sharp, I need to keep up.

She smiled and said, don’t worry, I don’t mind driving.  And I thought, me neither.   She doesn’t know I need to drive.  She doesn’t know I need to keep up.

Love what you do.

teacuppamelaYou’ve likely heard the phrase: “Do what you love, love what you do.”  Well… I got to thinking about that phrase sometime back and thought: one can’t always do that.  And then I thought, maybe I feel like I can’t always do what I love [to do], but I can learn to love what I do (and change my whole outlook in the process).   And so there was a turning point in my journey.  One of many turning points. :o)

Lemme give you an example.  Just this morning, I came into the kitchen planning to unload/reload my dishwasher (and to check out the horrific noise it makes when it’s running) and, upon opening the door, immediately coming to mind was the thought that this dishwasher smells bad.  Smells awful, really.  So I emptied the dishwasher and took out the racks.  There was gummy-dirt in the crevices – what?!?!? This is a dishwasher — a stainless-steel interior that has multiple sprayers in it.  How could the rack’s crevices be dirty?  I took the racks out and put them in the bathtub and sprayed them down with cleaner.  I proceeded back to the offending dishwasher and began to dismantle the sprayer and the spinner deal.  I sprayed them with cleaner, too.  I scrubbed the gasket… gunk was in the gasket of the hinged part of the door.  Well, bleck.  And then I thought…. and thought…. and it dawned on me that I could love to do just about any job — because it struck me, I’m not necessarily doing these things because I love to do them specifically — I do them because I love who I do them for — I love to have things be taken care of — not just for myself, but for my family, I love for my family to have their things properly cared for and I want my husband’s home to be a blessing to him.  So, essentially, I do what I love and I love what I do.

Maybe a couple of you remember when I needed an attitude adjustment regarding laundry a few years ago (yes, it’s been that long).  My husband asked me to just do it as a service to our family, not murmuring, not reminding them they were told to put the laundry in the hamper, not counting the numerous items — just cheerfully do the laundry.  And from that moment, I have sought to do it that way.  And I marvel at how a simple decision completely changes one’s outlook (and thinking!).  You see, I decided that’s exactly what I’d do.  And I did… and do.  And I type this to the hum and the click, click, clicking of rivets and snaps whirling around in the dryer.  I do a lot of laundry every day, so I get a lot of time to consider the decisions I make.

On any given day, I fetch things for others, pray and sing songs, I mend things, wash and iron, pray and carry sorrows, plant and dig up, listen and advise, fill cracks, pick up shatters, pray and dream dreams, clean up  messes, make  bigger ones and clean them all up again.  I’m home.  I do what I love and love what I do.

A few minutes ago, I looked up on the “white-board” to see a freshly written note: “We love our mom…. WLOM”  And I thought: this is why I do what I love.  This is why I love what I do.

Empty Spaces

I don’t know what it is about “empty spaces” and my (and maybe your) insatiable need to fill them, but both are there: the empty spaces and the insatiable need to fill them.  I guess I attempt to fill full spaces, too… but that’s another story for another day.

I was tempted to take the beautiful new calendar my daughter bought for me and insert it into the oak calendar frame and rehang it clean and fresh — empty — for awhile.  But before I knew it, I was filling in birthdays — deciding to limit the notations to ‘family’ birthdays (and use my day-planner for these and everyone else’s birthdays) and other significant dates and events.

That’s when I began to think about the insatiable filling of space… spaces in rooms, on shelves, closets, cabinets… and: scheduling.   While considering  all this,  it struck me: I cannot recall ever scheduling empty space — making time for nothing; read: no thing.   Through all the many years of homeschooling, I’ve never scheduled time for “nothing.”  I’ve scheduled “free time” but it was not for *no-thing* it was/is for all the stuff that couldn’t be done in a day and somehow the hope was to get it done during what’s loosely called free-time.  I always find ways to fill and overload my “free time” so I’ll seem more productive.

Now, I know I’ve had days “off” with no real plans and I’ve frittered away the time doing nothing important and so I guess, to some, this would constitute a day of nothing — and — I have set aside days for which there are to be no “outside commitments” or no appointments, etc. But a day or a portion of time set aside for “nothing” on purpose?!?! — this, I don’t recall ever doing.  Generally, when there’s down-time, it’s a result of cancelled plans or sickness or whatever — but not something scheduled on purpose — and it seems to immediately get filled.

My dear old friend, Florence, used to say that she scheduled a day of NO THINGS after each retreat or workshop for which she was the guest speaker.   She’d do this to recharge — to rejuvenate — after speaking engagements that always tended to run long and require much “counseling” with attendees — generally coupled with long distance travel.  I always knew this was her great joy and passion, but it took its toll on her — both physically and emotionally.  I admired her careful planning and ordered life.  But, truly, I also knew that her days of doing “no” thing were anything but days of *no* things.  I know they were times of recharging, refocusing, resting in the Lord, thinking on His Word, listening to restful music and mulling over what all had transpired before the day of “no things.”

It was good for me to remember this as I was gathering my thoughts for this blog post… and I’m needing to consider this a bit more as I plan for the days ahead and all the different needs of this home and family.  And… just like I’m trying to eliminate clutter from our home’s cabinets, closets and drawers, so also, I want to eliminate clutter from our schedules — AND — to plan for more *do no thing*  times — scheduling some empty space times. I want us to be careful to follow the Lord in this so that it doesn’t become a time of silly things or a time for irresponsibility…  I believe prayerful consideration and wisdom will be key in this.

And, as an aside, while I know there’s a good place for scheduling in different seasons of life — and some seasons will have some fairly intense scheduling — but when it’s all said and done, I’ve come to think it’s wisest to simply make a list of things that must be accomplished by certain times each day – and do them.  And then a list of things that should be done at least every-other-day — and do them.  And then a list of things that must be done weekly — and do them. You see?  This way, we are trained and our children are trained to accomplish important things — decently and in order.  I think it takes some times of *no* things to focus on, be ready for and appreciate the times of more things.

So… I’m working on creating some more ’empty spaces’ from time to time…