Tag: Motherhood

reclaiming former resolve

Resolve. Quite a number of times recently I’ve longed for reclaiming former resolve.  Sort of the embracing of the old paths — things that became such high priorities in former days.  So now, I humbly say, experiences in recent years have really knocked me down and drained my resolve.  Sinking in worthlessness jolted my senses and made me realize resolve had slipped away.  Wait!  Where’d it go?  Where did the eagerness go?

In the eighties and early nineties I had many young children — the days were full and busy — and while some of my priorities bordered on legalism, most were just sincerely steeped in the fervent desire to live well, and impart to our children, a joyful life of order and faithful obedience.  I say it “bordered on legalism” more as a description I heard from others than how I would have characterized it (then or now!).

There were, in those very early days, so many new opportunities and experiences for me as I sought to learn how to be a godly wife and mother.   The more I learned, the more I wanted to learn!  I hadn’t been raised in a Christian home and didn’t have the disciplines of a woman of the Word and so, those were days of forming habits (as well as unforming others!), and learning Scriptures through sermons, studying my Bible, and in church fellowship.  Every now and then I’d meet and spend time with women from whom I’d glean more foundational truths, habits, and practices.  It seemed that everything was new!   I learned homemaking skills, child training methods, bread making, cross-stitching, gardening, meal planning, bulk shopping and bulk cooking, homeschooling and a whole host of other things through women’s books, Bible studies, retreats and even through magazines that are still dear to my heart.  Those early days were filled with such eager resolve.   Eager resolve with lots of children and lots of laundry.

A lot of those early resolutions led to the embracing the teachings of the Institute in Basic Life Principles and then a little later, the Advanced Training Institute – it all seemed like so many more good things!!   I’ve written quite a bit about IBLP and ATI (there are a number of posts, actually), so I won’t rehash all that here except to say, we were sincerely blessed in many ways early on.  And then we weren’t.   But one thing I miss and sort of long for is that exuberance we had in those days — those days that became many years.  I’m attempting to recapture that eagerness.

So, I’ve begun doing some of those former things — interestingly, it’s as if I’m tapping into some of those early resolves.  I’ll tell you a few — maybe my rediscoveries will be helpful to you. I’ve begun reading a morning and evening devotional.  I’ve begun writing a line a day in a five year journal.  I’m writing down specific answers to prayers.  I’m memorizing Scripture again.  I’m trying to decorate for small occasions, I’m looking through old photos, cooking a few old favourites — yes, some from those old magazines.   Inspired by my old Gentle Spirit magazines.  I know.  I’m overusing old.  I’m working on crafts, lettering, and cards.  I’m resolved to be looking for ways to be a blessing here at home and wherever I go.  I’m working on writing.  And blogging.   This resolve doesn’t look like former days so much, but the desire feels very similar.

I didn’t have the hindsight I have now — which, by the way, is a very good thing.  I’d have thrown in the towel early on if I’d known then what I know now regarding not a few of my motherhood chapters.  I’ll tell ya, lots of things haven’t worked out real well—Yet.  But lots of things have worked out so much better than I’d ever have imagined.  What I didn’t have then was the faith that all these years walking with Jesus have given me.  I didn’t have blessed assurance that Jesus is mine and that He would carry me.  I know now.  He has.  Bcz of what the Lord has done for me I want to finish well.

So now, Mama’s Journal is underway with the resolve of the former days and bright hope for tomorrow.

The Hard Life of Young Mamas

Bookp1I just read a blog post written by a young mama — a thirty something year old mama.  She wrote about the stage of life that’s hard.  The repetitive dailies that are particular to young motherhood. She’s a great writer, part of a group of mamas who have a website to which they contribute entries.  It’s for encouragement and help for other young moms — I suspect they are helped more themselves by offering the same to others.  I’m so glad I read it (and I hope lots of other young mamas read it, too).   It’s a hard stage of life.  What great encouragement they are to one another and to all the readers of their blog.  God bless them.

I’ve had women ask me countless times through the years if it gets easier.  I try to encourage them that they’re doing a great job.  And, to answer their question, I tell them, no.  No, it doesn’t get easier.  It gets different, but it doesn’t get easier — bcz other new hard things come along. There are many things that improve — but I don’t think they improve because the children get older so much as the mama gets wiser.  While the children are being trained and are more helpful, there are other difficulties added to the mix. Mama starts improving her serve, as it were.  She learns how to do things more efficiently and forces herself to do them that way until they’re habit — second nature. Efficiency fosters confidence and enables her to accomplish more in less time.   All this enables her to be more attentive to her husband and to better care for her children.  I tell young mamas they’ll cry for these days.  They look at me like I’m nuts.  And I understand.

I tell them they’ll long for these sunny days they think will never end.  I tell them they’ll wish for one more pregnancy, one more nursing, one more diaper to change, one more story, one more potty training success day, one more jelly faced kiss, one more push on the swing, one more second of being clung to like glue, one more moment of being the only one to console a crying baby, a fearful toddler, a disappointed gradeschooler, a nervous teenager.  They’re sure they will not. Ever.  And I understand.

We all need every hard day of motherhood.  The longer I’m a mother, the more sure I am of this truth. I cry for those early days… those early days when it was just us.  Just us two. Just us three. Just us five. Just us seven. Just us nine… and so on.  Everything was new. Everything was amazing.  Days when it was just us reading bedtime Bible stories and praying beside beds, just us piling into the car, gathered around the table, sitting in the row at church, going on a trip, pushing a cart full of groceries, pulling a cart full of kids.  Hard days.  Days when lots didn’t get done.  Days when so much growing was going on.  Just us.

We all needed those hard days — those hard days brought us to these hard days.  Those hard days brought us through all the hard days in between those early hard days and these hard days.  I’m mindful of this as I look ahead to closing chapters of life—I want to remember I need these days and all I’m learning of the Lord and His ways through the years.  I know I will need what He’s shown me and look forward to what He’ll teach me in the days ahead.

Though I know it doesn’t necessarily get easier, I do know He is faithful and that allows me to look forward to the different days ahead.

Flee Comparisonitis

psalm16

Maybe you saw my thoughts yesterday where I wrote about Comparisonitis or making comparisons and how easy it is to become ensnared by this.  Comparing ourselves to others, comparing our situations to other’s situations (or our perception of their situations), our accomplishments (or lack thereof) to other’s accomplishments (as we perceive them to be).  Then we spend precious moments or days or years mulling over what we have or haven’t done (right), what we do or don’t have, what we have to deal with — compared to others. [Late edit to add a link to another article I wrote regarding Titus2 blogs, groups and teachings — I call it: Compare-a-Titus.  There are so many comparisons we make are often bogged down by the lack we often feel as “TitusTwo” women. You can read it here.]

When these thoughts come up, I know I need to flee these thoughts.  Flee! And quickly.

I’ve come to realize that when I compare myself with others or my whatever’s with other women’s whatevers, I inadvertently make them the standard to which I seek to attain.  I make them the  guide and standard of my life instead of making the Lord, His Word, His way, and His truth for me the guide and standard of my life.

We know that medically or pathologically, “itis” is inflammation, which, in an organ of our body, is a bad thing and we seek quick attention to reverse or eliminate it as it’s usually painful and damaging.  But we don’t often do this in our own lives when it comes to inflammation of thoughts or feelings.  We often, instead, harbour the thoughts that brought on the inflammation, we feed them and encourage them by continuing to validate them.  I do this sometimes — though I know it’s not good — not good for me, and not good for my home and family. In this way, I unwittingly spread my “itis” to them — they know something’s not right, but can’t see what it is.  That’s why (in part) it’s so critical for me to flee making comparisons before they become in me: comparisonitis.

Incidentally, by continually making comparisons (especially if voiced), I validate the activity (and further cement it in my emotional pathways).  I model it for my children and set them up for their own comparsonitis.  In addition, I elevate another’s situation or accomplishments or possessions over my own.  Again, validating making comparisons for my children to do the same — if I don’t want this attitude/behaviour for me, I sure don’t want it for them.

So when it comes around, I have to make the conscious decision to flee comparing before it wiggles its way deep into my thoughts.  When I see that I can’t do something like, or a wells as, another person does them, I need to just be content that I do what I can do and I can choose to rejoice at their fine work or rejoice with them over their accomplishment.  Then, my heart is warmed bcz it’s all about them and not about me. The more I do this through the years, the more easily and quickly comes the response of rejoicing.

When I feel like I never do enough, right enough, good enough, whatever enough, I have to see that as an alert!  Compared to what? Compared to who?  Did the Lord tell me that or did I take my eyes off Him and fix my gaze on someone or something else?  Do I not have something I feel I should have?  Is He not enough?  Has He not provided exactly what I need for each day?  Has He forgotten something?  Or — have I run ahead, doing something He never directed me to do or in a way He never directed me to do it?  Did I get out of order my reason for doing something?  Have I made my life hard by doing something in a way He didn’t intend for me (but I was trying to do it like So-‘n-so)?

Discontent is tremendous fodder for comparisonitis.  And vice versa.  [cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. –Hebrews 13.5[/cp_quote]So I continually resort to the Word, it is my foundation.  After all these years I finally see why He says His mercies are new every morning.  I see the why behind the great and awesome privilege to daily sit at His gates.  The Lord reveals Himself, magnifies Himself and feeds me as I read and think on His Word.  I trust in Him and seek to follow in His steps.

I continually rehearse what He has done, for I know and have seen(!) that no matter what comes, I can truly trust Him and lean on His promises.

But he knoweth the way that I take:
when he hath tried me,
I shall come forth as gold.
–Job 23:10

Labels and Names

coffecupI’m mulling over a Kelly Crawford “quiverfull” article I read yesterday.  It so resonated with me (as her writings often do) and brought to mind several related labels and names.  One thing that came to mind almost immediately is the number of times recently that I’ve wanted to distance myself from a particular word, practice, inference, organization, person, product, etc., etc., when any one of them failed or turned out to be different than  I thought or understood them to be — or when my personal definition or application of a particular word or practice didn’t/doesn’t line up with whatever the latest scandal portrays.   As in, say, quiverfull or large family or homeschooling or complementarian or Christian or a myriad of other buzzwords in the news.  Lots of times it’s not the words used, necessarily, but the way they’re used (and especially the inflection of voice in the way they’re spoken).

Immediately, I want to say (usually only in my head as I pull weeds in the garden), yes, but I’m not that kind of homeschooler, I’m not that kind of large family, I’m not that kind of mother, etc., etc.  I’m not in that kind of homeschool program or that kind of church or whatever.  Sometimes I have to add: well, not any more.

Sometimes my (or your)  “not any more” occurred long before the publication of a ‘bad report’ or a scandal.  I know that, and you know that, but maybe others don’t that. And I am (or you are) still assumed to be connected to/with or defined by a particular name or label.  And probably a misunderstood, misinformed idea and/or mischaracterization of that name or label.

So my thought here is that all these different media assertions, characterizations or biases are very instructive. First they instruct me to be very careful regarding my alignment with a particular personality or program.  Then I need to be careful what message I portray and how my actions affect or represent that message. Then I need to pay close attention to respectfully hear objections and discern the motive behind the messages.  Is the message really an attack on me?  Probably not, but is rather an attack because of a preconceived notion or because of a negative experience with whatever I seem to represent.  So then, should I take it personally?  Probably not. No.

So you have a bunch of kids.  Doesn’t make you The Dugger’s… ‘makes you a mom with a bunch of kids like a whole bunch of other moms with a bunch of kids and they aren’t The Dugger’s either.  So you homeschool and/or you only wear dresses and/or you dress modestly (or whatever other thing you do or don’t do, the best you know how).  Doesn’t make you Amish or ATI or Mennonite or part of a cult or whatever… ‘makes you just a woman who’s made some decisions that are different than some decisions others have made.  And you go on.  So you take a stand for Biblical, traditional marriage.  And you’re castigated for it.  You’re wrongly labeled as phobic or narrow minded or intolerant.  Think it not strange.  Their comments don’t make you any of those things… just continue on in faith, trusting the Lord to bring about His plans and purposes in all these things.  Sure, all these different misunderstandings are painful and difficult.  And, sure they’re inaccurate — but we are told in Scripture that in this world we will have tribulation.  But the big deal is that Jesus didn’t stop there — He went on to say that we are to be of good cheer.  And what is the basis of that cheer?  Jesus. He tells us that in Him we might have peace and that peace is because of who He is and who we are in Him and because He has overcome the world. (John 16.33) So, we can be overcomers.  That’s powerful. That’s Good News!

And you know how else all the mislabeling instructs me?  I’m instructed to be very careful how I might be mislabeling others, making wrong assumptions of others, mischaracterizing others.  I am reminded to be careful to not jump to conclusions about a matter based on a preconceived notion or experience (good or bad for that matter) and then have to back-peddle when more information becomes apparent.  I see more and more why we need to be in the Word, in prayer, and walking in faith.  And that’s where iron sharpening iron sorts of friendships also help us get and stay on track.

By The Grace of God

kathyrnskiss[cp_dropcaps]M[/cp_dropcaps]y mind floods with memories today — memories of days, years, decades gone by.  So many days, so many memories — so much grace the Lord has lavished on me through the gift of our firstborn daughter.

Two precious sons were born to us before the Lord gifted us all with this great treasure — this inestimable gift.  I’m ever mindful that without her, I’d never have made it through.  I’m blessed by this–I’m humbled by this.  So very humbled by the grace of God in my life and the gift of her life.

In the early days, I’d never have been able to consider or imagine that one day I’d sort of trade places with her—but that’s pretty much what’s happened.  I’ve received more from her than I’ve ever given.  I’d learned more from her more than I’ve ever taught her.  I’ve seen more through her eyes than I’ve ever seen with my own.  She’s given me intangible gifts and favours I could never repay.

[cp_dropcaps]T[/cp_dropcaps]he congregation rose to sing the hymn, Grace Greater Than Our Sin.   The hymnal I was holding rested on the top of my very pregnant tummy and the piano began to play.  As we sang the words of the chorus: “Grace, grace, God’s grace, grace that will pardon and cleanse within, Grace, grace God’s grace, Grace that is greater than all our sin,” I received a gift—a name, a great name for our baby.

Not knowing I was carrying a girl baby, I tucked that name away in my heart.  [cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]All through my labour and delivery, I needed and looked for God’s grace.  And He handed her to me… that sunny April afternoon.[/cp_quote] All through my labour and delivery, I needed and looked for God’s grace.  And He handed her to me. Tears of great joy flooded my eyes and heart, that sunny April afternoon, as I looked into her dear face.  She was so much more than I hoped for, more than I longed for—and through all these years I see she’s a gift for which I could never give enough thanks or praise to the Lord. Or to her.

I realize the great measure of responsibility I allowed her, gave her, called on her to carry.  I’ve leaned on her strong shoulders as long as I can remember.  In our family, after her were born eight more children and what originally began as cute help, sweet holding, playing with and doting over each next baby — being mama’s little helper over the years sort of grew into or transformed into being a right hand for me.  I picture it this way,  since I’m left handed, she literally became my right hand.  I didn’t intend it, plan it or order it that way, it just happened.  I’m sure there were many spectators who thought  she did too much for me, had too many responsibilities or whatever, I don’t know—I just know she was ever at my side, ever asking what she could do or ever making up games, projects, crafts,  and recipes for the littles.  And I let her. It didn’t occur to me that things could’ve/should’ve been done differently—that she carried so much responsibility.  I asked so much of her.  Regarding all that, I don’t know if I’d do anything much differently if I could have a “do-over” today.  Maybe I just can’t actually analyze and think of what should have been done differently in the early years.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t have a gazillion regrets. O man, do I ever.  In these later years I  regret my distractions, my internet addiction in the early days of webdesign, being overloaded with trying to be good enough/enough-enough.  I regret that I didn’t transition well from being mother/guide/helper  to  mother/encourager/friend.  I guess I was scared to let her grow up—to go—but I’ve sincerely had no reason to be.  She never gave me cause to fear her growing up, it was all in my own head and a whole bunch of legalistic ideals that I could not/cannot live up to.  I sometimes wish I could go back change a lot of that—and be more affirming, more encouraging — more available to her.  I’ve learned so much from failings, regretting ever failing her.  It’s humbling, really. Especially when I see all she is today — the faithful, trustworthy, capable, dependable, loyal, industrious, creative person she is — the blessing she is everywhere she goes. I pray for more opportunities to add to and carry out all I’ve learned.  More opportunities to demonstrate or reciprocate  all she’s done for me—by God’s grace, for God’s precious Kathryn Grace.

A blogger’s loss & gain

teapotcup[cp_dropcaps]H[/cp_dropcaps]ardly a week goes by that I don’t think (or mutter aloud) that this or that blog or twitter account will have a crash.  In just a matter of time there will be an incident or an avalanche of incidents that will take a blogger to an intersection in her life where she’ll be broadsided some Thursday afternoon and she’ll sit on the floor, head in her hands, crying out to God for His mercy.  But for now, she doesn’t  ask for help because she doesn’t know she needs it.  Yet.

Such was the case for me… going to bed most every night regretting all the stuff that didn’t get done that day… only to wake the next morning, hurrying to get enough stuff done to be able to log on, retrieve the messages, hurriedly scan blogs of interest, personally regretting lacking the coolest format and relevant blog topics, hurriedly editing the latest photos for a new layout and then opening the blog “new post” page to start another blog entry.

With new eyes, I see the new styles and formats year after year.  Emails flood my  inbox regarding new programs, site design software, search engine optimization, methods for attracting and increasing traffic, comments, customers, digital image editing, suggestions for link sharing and more.  As I see these things for the few seconds they remain on the screen before they’re deleted, I think of all my years of temptation to be and do more — and now the young mothers who desperately long to have a successful marriage and pinterested motherhood, well educated home-schooled children, pinteresting organized homes and pinterest-perfect meals served on lovely tables in beautiful homes just like the pictures in the best blogs.  I see the ideas, tutorials, instructional and encouragement blogs and I sincerely think it’s amazing how they’ve exploded exponentially over the last few years.  The pictures almost have smell-o-vision and the images seem to be increasingly bigger, better, more than homemaking’s ever been.  All, seemingly effortlessly accomplished.  While blogging.

And for a while the mothers will be able to pull it off…. blogging and living.  Living and blogging. Checking the other blogs.  Sharing links and ideas.  Guest posting. Guest hosting.  I wish I could convey that a mama on the computer doesn’t realize — really does not realize — how much time is passing and what’s being missed and what’s NOT being done in the passage of time.  I wish I could explain that the number of times a mama says Justa sec… Justa sec… only increases.  I wish I could convey just what happens with each “Justa sec” that’s uttered.  [cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]What’s really happening is not what it seems like at the time to the mama.[/cp_quote]  What it seems like at the time to the mama is that she really will hop up and play, or hop up and read that book, that she really will push that swing, see that funny face, play that game.   But what’s really happening, more often than not, is that mindless commands are given, mindless affirmations are made, and in Justa sec, Justa sec… a child (or two or seven) is walking away.  A child (or two or five) is ignored or put off or forgotten.  Then time is too short for that story, that game, that swing, that funny face, that trip to the library.  The hours pass into days, the days pass into months and the months pass into years.  And all those Justa sec’s net nothing — nothing but a little more precious time online.  And then the weary mama sinks down defeated… because at the end of that “Justa sec” is dinner, a spilled cup of milk, laundry, the phone or the door or the diaper or the dentist – fifteen minutes late.  The tensions build, the frustrations increase and troubles start to flow like a river.

And then one day the crash happens.  It may be a literal computer hard-drive crash or a website crash. It may be a failed or broken or damaged relationship.  But a crash happens and the mama gets a wake-up call.  She probably won’t realize in the moment, but then, the dawning of reality crashes over her like a tsunami that precious moments were missed and forever lost.

And the impact of the reality hits her as she crumbles on the kitchen floor.  She gasps to breathe as she begins to catch a glimpse of what’s happened in the space of fifty thousand Justa sec’s.   She’s leveled as she begins to realize the utter waste that consumed her days… that time to push the swing is past. Forever. In the theatre of her mind she recounts all the things forever gone, the pictures she never coloured with the littles,  the funny things she didn’t even realize she missed… that the children stopped asking her to come and see, come and read, come and play… they knew that Justa sec never came.  Justa sec never comes.  Apologies would not make up for all that was lost.  Sorrow wouldn’t restore the days and months that turned into years.  Regret would not rewind the clock.

And in a puddle of tears and a heap of sorrow, she’s pretty sure she’ll never outlive these hard days — these very hard days of reckoning.  But she will.  God in His mercy will answer her cries.  And He will tenderly cover her sorrows.  He can restore what the locusts have eaten.  A blogger’s loss may be another’s gain.

This is my story, this is my song, praising my Saviour all the day long.

 

Creating Inspired Moments

thestarbucksapronI have a few Starbucks aprons I’ve picked up, second hand, along the way.  One of them has a printed tape inside the top of the apron.  I’m assuming it was positioned there so that it would be seen (and intentionally read) each time the barista positioned the neck strap and donned the apron.

As with many other aprons I have, I’ve worn this one many times.  Until recently, I never even noticed the black tape sewn inside the top band of that apron.  Thus, I’d never read the message intended for the baristas:

We create inspired moments
in each customer’s day.
ANTICIPATE   CONNECT   PERSONALIZE   OWN

I’ve written about aprons a few times — even have some for sale — that’s how important or meaningful aprons are to me.  And I think they ought to have a more prominent role in kitchens.  But that’s another blog-post for another day.

Creating inspired moments… 

 Do I do this?  I mean, do I intentionally work to create inspired moments?  Immediately I dismiss the notion —  I mean, how can *I* create an *inspired* moment?  Inspired moments are, after all, simply that: inspired.  But then I think on this some more.  And some more. I think on Proverbs 16.9: “A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.”  I make plans and the Lord makes/creates/directs inspired moments.

Inspired — from Webster’s 1828: Breathed in; infused; Informed or directed by the Holy Spirit.

So then,  inspired moments are those moments that are composed, directed, or Divinely influenced.  Immediately my thoughts are taken to Genesis 24.27 (Abraham’s servant): “…I being in the way, the Lord led me...”

And then I’m humbled:  Lord, I want to be in the way… I want to be in the way where You’ll lead me.  I want the moments I live to be: inspired moments — the actions I take to be: inspired actions — the decisions I make to be: inspired decisions.

And then I’m inspired:  Lord, will You do this for me, in me, with me?  Can mornings be filled with inspired moments? Can our dinner meals together be not just meals but inspired moments?  Can I learn to watch for opportunities for inspired moments? Can I learn to speak to my children in such a way that it will not be me, necessarily, but an inspired word?  Can I intentionally, daily, work to create an atmosphere of inspired moments in our home?  Instead of mundane dailies, can I work to see my tasks as inspired moments? Can I love my husband in ways that will capture his heart and affirm my desire for him in inspired moments?  Can I live as a woman whose daily walk is one of cultivating opportunities for inspired moments?

O, that I not forget tomorrow what the Lord has taught me today.  When I put on an apron – this, or any other – may I remember the awesome opportunity I have to walk in the way of inspired moments.  May I seek to anticipate, connect, personalize and own the opportunities set before me.  Ultimately, may the Lord be the inspiration of all my moments.

Baby days: ‘Groaning Cake’

teacuppamela

These are exciting days as we eagerly anticipate the call that labour’s begun for the newest grandbaby. I feel as though I, too, have been nesting as I’ve been gathering things for the birthing day, excitedly anticipating, along with our son and daughter-in-law, the birth of this little one.

Kate and I were talking the other day about things she’s still needing for the upcoming birthing day… and she mentioned Groaning Cake.  I’d not heard of the cake by that name, specifically, but it sounded a lot like ‘energy muffins‘ I’ve made for labouring and beyond.  After a brief search, I found the recipe and saw that the ingredients were quite similar.  So, in the next couple of days I’ve be preparing Groaning Cake for Kate.

This, from Ami McKay’s The Birth House, ““The tradition of a groaning cake, or kimbly, at birth is an ancient one. Wives’ tales say that the scent of the groaning cake being baked in the birth house helps to ease the mother’s pain. Some say if a mother breaks the eggs while she’s aching, her labour won’t last as long. Others say that if a family wants prosperity and fertility, the father must pass pieces of the cake to friends and family the first time the mother and baby are “churched” (or the first time they go to a public gathering) after a birth.”

Groaning Cake

— Aube Giroux,  Kitchen Vignettes

  • 3 cups whole wheat or spelt flour
  • 1 Tbsp baking powder
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 tps salt
  • Spice mix: 1 Tbsp cinnamon, 1 tsp ginger, 1 tsp nutmeg, 1/2 tsp cloves, 1 tsp ground fennel seeds, 1 tsp ground fenugreek)
  • 3/4 cup butter, at room temperature
  • 3/4 cup honey
  • 2 Tbsp molasses
  • 4 eggs
  • 2 Tbsp rum (optional)
  • 1/3 cup whole milk yogurt
  • 1/3 cup whole milk
  • 1/2 cup grated apple (loose, not packed in)
  • 1/2 cup grated carrot (loose, not packed in)
  • 1/2 cup grated zucchini (loose, not packed in)
  • 1/2 cup grated coconut
  • 3/4 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
  • For the cream cheese icing:
  • 1 x 8 oz package of cream cheese, at room temperature
  • 3 Tbsp maple syrup

Directions

  1. Preheat the oven to 350F. In a large bowl, whisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, spice mix, and walnuts (if using).
  2. Put the butter in a medium metal bowl and place it in the hot oven until it begins to melt a bit. Remove from the oven. Add the honey and molasses and whisk until blended. Add the rum and mix well, until heavy and silky.
  3. In a separate mixing bowl, beat the eggs until frothy. Add the yoghurt, milk, grated apple, grated carrot, grated zucchini, and coconut. Add this to the honey-butter mixture and mix well. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and fold gently, until the batter is homogeneous. Be careful not to overmix.
  4. Pour into an oiled and floured 10-inch springform cake pan and bake for 35 to 45 minutes in a 350F oven. The cake is done when the top is golden and a toothpick comes out clean. Cake should be cooled for about 10 minutes in the pan, and then removed from the pan to continue cooling on a rack.
  5. To make the frosting, blend the room temperature cream cheese and maple syrup, using a hand blender or electric mixer. Refrigerate until cake has cooled. Once the cake has cooled, butter the frosting on top of the cake. Slice and serve.
  6. This cake can be made ahead and wrapped in plastic wrap or aluminum and kept for 1 to 2 days at room temperature. The cream cheese icing should be kept in the fridge until ready to use.

Thanks for reading today, by the way! Hope your day’s a happy one! ♥

Motherhood: A Call to Carry On

Carry on.  When you’re drop dead tired and there’re still several hours and as many chores left to do at the end of the day: Carry on.  When you have so much to do you don’t know how you’ll do it all: Carry on.  When you have so many needs to fill and seemingly not enough resources to fill them all: Carry on.  When you’re weary and successes are few and failures are many: Carry on.  When you feel all alone and as if no one cares for what you do: Carry on. 

Carry on, Mother, carry on!  Motherhood’s a call to carry on.  No matter what you think, how you feel or how things seem to appear, as a mother, you’re called to carry on.

I was mulling over this message, I got to thinking about flying; the hustle and bustle of the airport, the waiting in line, the scans and the check-points.  You board the plane and you prepare for the flight ahead and you sit back and either endure or enjoy the ride.  You don’t really worry about your baggage, for at that point there’s really nothing you can do about it anyway.  But there’s still your “carry on” stuff… the stuff you need to be responsible to take care of.  All the while, it’s up to you to make the best of the flight or perhaps by default, just choose to snooze or endure the passage of miles and time. 

Motherhood’s a lot like that… you may come into it with lots of baggage, but there comes a point that you need to put the baggage down and “check it” as it were, and deal with your carry-on’s.  You know, it’s interesting how baggage goes… it’s all the stuff we think we’ll need for the trip; it’s all the stuff we thought we couldn’t live without; it’s all the stuff that follows us wherever we go and much of it doesn’t do us any good or isn’t actually useful or necessary for the trip –we usually find that out when we reach the destination.  Actually, for most all of us, what’s really important is what’s in our carry-on’s.  We usually pack the most important things in our carry-on’s – our valuables, our money, our credit, our identification, our appearance enhancing tools, and other necessities.  Problem is, many mothers get bogged down with their heavy baggage and are consumed with looking at it, thinking about it, rifling through it, trying to carry it around –that  they forget to hang on tight to their precious carry-on’s.   Many mothers are more concerned with the baggage… the things, the what if’s, the furnishings, the styles, the weights of the world, the what-will-other-people-think’s in life. 

It’s what’s in the carry-on that is most important —You  keep the carry-on stuff intact, chances are good that no matter what happens to the baggage, you’ll still make it though the trip just fine.  Your ‘carry-on’ is usually what you need for the trip… the stuff in the carry-on is your treasure.  Well, this is sort of a description of motherhood, but as analogies usually do, this analogy breaks down at some point. 

Motherhood’s a call to carry on.  But we don’t carry on alone.  O, the enemy may attempt to persuade us that we’re alone, that no one else is doing what we’re doing, that we have too much to carry or not enough help with what we’ve got to carry or that our load is heavier that other mother’s loads or worse: that our load or the work we carry is not all that important – that anyone can do it.  Truth is, whatever the LORD’s given us to do is ours to do – not someone else’s to carry and do.  That’s why the LORD has so faithfully preserved His Word, given us His direction and defined our roles as mothers.  Many mothers attempt to carry baggage that’s not even theirs to carry –as if what they’ve got isn’t enough already.  Many mothers think they’ve got to do all the lifting and carrying and, really, the LORD never intended mothers to do all that some do.  O, some things are noble, even admirable, but they’re not necessarily what the LORD designed and called them to do. 

So, how do we carry on?  Well, I’ve come to see that carrying on is probably best defined as obedience – obedience to the will and way of the LORD and nothing else – for  obedience sort of sums up the whole of the Christian walk. It’s hearing what you’re being told and doing it.  And for mothers, it’s what we do (or ought to do) and what we teach (or ought to teach).  As we walk with the LORD and live in obedience to Him, He enables us to hear Him and to obey Him –that’s the precious work of the Holy Spirit.  As we live and walk in obedience to Him, we’re carrying on the call of motherhood.   For God calls us to obey Him and He calls us teach our children as we rise up,  as we lie down and as we walk along the way.  A mother cannot lead children where she herself is not going; a mother cannot teach what she herself has not learned or is not learning.  A mother cannot call her children to obedience if she’s not seeking that in and for herself –it’s part of that precious calling: the call to carry on.

So, precious mother, when the way is dark and the future seems bleak: carry on. When the path is rocky, windy and steep: carry on.  When life seems to be endless piles –piles of papers, piles of dishes, piles of laundry, piles of toys and books and crayons, piles of dirt and piles of chores: carry on.

And when you feel you cannot go on, stop where you are, fall to your knees and carry on.  Carry on to the LORD, He will be there, He will hear and He will carry you.  And you will see that all the while you carry on, your cares are in the hand of Jesus and all your carrying on is in His strong hand.  You will never find a time when you open the Word or fold your hands in prayer that He won’t already be there.  You’ll never find a time where your prayers are not heard by the One who loves you.  There will never ever be a time where you step out in faith or in obedience and not fin Him already there. 

If it’s been a while since you stepped aside to pray or to read the Word or to write in your journal, taste and see: the LORD is good.  He will already be there.  He will welcome you with open arms – He won’t be looking at where you haven’t been, He will be looking at your “now.”  In the moment you call upon His name, He will answer, He will be there.  Taste and see.

Dear mother, faithful and wise, you’re called to carry on – one day at a time in the hand of the Saviour.  He’s not looking at your yesterdays or even your worries about tomorrow; He’s looking at your “today” – at your “now.”  All that stuff that in the baggage?  Be done with fretting about it; be done with lesser things, be done with vain glory and all the trappings of the world.  The enemy doesn’t want you to bask in the blessing and direction of the LORD –that’s why he seeks to distract you and weigh you down –reminding you of your failures, what you don’t have and what you haven’t done –or worse: that none of it matters, that it doesn’t matter what you do.   

But today?  O, today, dear mama, today’s your new beginning. Now is the day, now is the time to carry on in His name – His wonderfully strong name.  Your children will see Him in you and they’ll see the Light on the path as you carry on.  You have a most honourable, most noble calling: that of carrying on throughout motherhood.  Be faithful.  Finish well.

 

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  Carrying on with you: in love and blessings… pamela