Tag: Motherhood

Being conformed…

teacuppamela

Earlier today I was reflecting on some of the unlikely ways God conforms us to the image of His dear Son — and some of the unlikely tools He chooses to use to work that conformation in us (and maybe even through us from time to time).  I asked my dear mother in law if she’d send me the quotes she was sharing with me as we talked about God’s work in our lives — I’ll share them with you when she sends them.

I’ve been sincerely amazed at the ways God works His will and His purposes in my life / in our lives.  It seems the most impossible, difficult and maybe even painful situations are the ones that bring the richest, choicest fruit in our lives.  But they are, indeed, the situations or incidents we’d most likely attempt to avoid (or choose differently) or reject.  But God doesn’t choose differently, when He works a work or plans to work a work, He has very precise purposes for the things He allows to happen in our lives — even, and not surprisingly, our most foolish or careless decisions can be used to bear rich fruit for our good and His glory. 

It’s a good thing we don’t choose the tools of our training or the methods of our sanctification — well, I’m thinking if we did/could/do attempt to choose them, our attempts would/do fail to accomplish His purposes.  First, we’d reject the tools and then we’d reject the method — thinking and reasoning that our method and our tools would be easier better wiser.  Our ways always seem at the time:  mo bettah.  A fool is wise in his own eyes…

Today I was thinking of the ways the Lord has taught me to love my children in the way He loves them.  For it was easy to love them in the way I could love them.  But along the way, He’s allowed situations to occur to teach me to love them in His way.  He’s allowed situations to occur or come to pass that would mold me or are molding me into the woman He’s created me to be.  The Lord has sought to use tools I wouldn’t have chosen — actually can’t choose to use.  And yet, in His mercy and in His kindness He is working that I might be conformed to His image. He’s also lavished grace on me (and them!) that I continually can be used in their lives, that I can continually grow and adapt as the mother they need me to be — doing what HE would have rather than what I might choose or neglect to choose to do.  And by His grace, He enables me to press on in faith that He who has begun a good work in me will complete it…

He seeks to conform us to love, to be forbearing, to be kind, to be patient, to be peaceful/peaceable, to be gentle, to be temperate and so on.   All of these qualities are the fruit of the Spirit – and we all desire to have these characterize our lives -but they’re not the fruit of self, they’re the fruit of the Spirit and they’re not planted, cultivated or increased by the flesh — again, they’re of and by the Spirit of God. 

So as I was seeking answers/fruit in some different areas, it seemed to hit me today like a ton of bricks… the answers I’m seeking — the fruit I’m desiring — is not [going to be] my doing!  It’s God’s doing! It’s God’s work: in His timing, by His will in His way.  And so as I was seeing the dawning of His work in some specific areas, I began to see this truth:  God chooses the fruit and He chooses the tools He uses to bring it about.  I want to be so yielded to Him that I will not resist the methods of His choosing and the tools He uses as He works His marvelous will in my life.

 

What’s Pulling On Your Apron Strings?

teacuppamelaWhat’s Pulling on Your Apron Strings?

That might sound like a strange title to the message I want to share with you today, but perhaps by the time you finish reading this letter, you’ll have an idea and perhaps realize some things you’ve been wanting to take care of for some time.

So, what’s pulling on your apron strings?  You know… the thing or things that nag at you or that seem to be pulling at you from one direction or many.  You may be attempting to work around your home and keep having interruptions or distractions that prevent you from accomplishing what’s really needful.  You may have plans or schedules, or wish you had plans or schedules, and yet every day something, or many things pull on your apron strings and prevent you from meaningful or notable accomplishment.

I know I have these same feelings or experiences from time to time –sort of as if nothing seems to go right or nothing measurable ever seems to get done. It’s as if at the end of each week I have relatively little to show for my efforts and certainly none for the fatigue I might be feeling.  Yet, my apron’s dirty and the strings are raveled at the end. 

Over the years I had great ambition for great things.  I wanted to spend time individually with each of the children each day; I wanted to spend time reading aloud, fixing their hair, assisting them with schoolwork, chores and prayers.  I had lofty aspirations that we would do projects, tell and record stories: that I would pass on valuable stories, life-lessons and a rich heritage…

But then, many days –most days– I would come to my bedside and realize that, once again, yet another day where I’d failed to reach my glorious ambitions.  Instead, we had just spent another day –another hum-drum day.  Together. 

Pulling at my apron strings were all the wouldda, shouldda, couldda’s and few of the atta-girl’s, way-to-go’s and wahoo’s of life.  At the point I realized that all those marvelous and coveted accolades were simply unrealistic, I also realized I truly was getting all those atta-girl’s, way-to-go’s and wahoo’s of life.  I truly had them… I just wasn’t seeing them, that’s all.  I wasn’t seeing the “atta-girl” in my son’s: “Mom, will you fix this for me? I can’t do it.” Or, in my daughter’s: “Mama, you’ve got to write down these recipes for me or I will not ever be able to cook like you!”  Or, “O, my mom will do it for you, she’s right here!”  Or,  probably the sweetest gift of all I just received and it was contained in a letter, reading: “Mama… You are the best friend I’ve ever had.”   

See, I missed the blessings by being concerned about the unimportant things or on my failings instead of what really was important for the day.

Often, pulling on my apron strings are all the things I’ve done wrong as a mother, wife or friend.  Pulling on my apron strings are the things I don’t do well or the things I don’t have (as compared with my friends) or all the ways in which my children don’t *seem* to measure up (again, compared to others’ or compared with a high ideal or whatever).   

Everyday, nagging thoughts creep in and occasionally pull me here and pull me there… and even get me all tied in knots sometimes over the silliest things – all tied up over things only the LORD can take care of or only the LORD knows about.  Sometimes all tied up over things I *imagine* to be so.  And then, I stop and think:  wait a minute… should these things be pulling at my apron strings, pulling me down in despair?  Should I be letting those thoughts come in and flood my mind, or should I take those thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ.

 I know this to be a truth: I have never given to the LORD –any thought, desire, motive, whatever that was then rejected by Him. 

 He has never yet, will never, can never: fail me.  So then, I consider at thought or a pulling on my apron strings and I ask: is this of You, LORD? Or I say, I know this is not of You, LORD, and I ask You to take this thought, desire, fear (or whatever), from me and I ask You to guide my thoughts, guard my heart and mind and help me to see only You.  Please hide me behind Your Cross, LORD.

O, sure, other women are going to have bigger, better, more than you or I; and sure, other families are going to have newer, brighter, more attractive homes, children, lives, accomplishments, etc., etc., than you or I.  But you know what?  They don’t get to be you—they don’t get to be me.  You’re uniquely you created by God, saved by Him unto faith and good works.  He loves you with an everlasting love and underneath you are His everlasting arms and in you is His eternal Spirit and surrounding you is His eternal joy of salvation in Christ Jesus.  Wow.  Now those are some pretty wonderful things.  Did you know you had all those treasures tucked in the pockets of your apron? 

 So, next time something starts pulling on your apron strings and you know it’s not simply one of the little blessings the LORD has given you, you just reach in your pocket and pull out one of the Truths of God’s Word and His love for you.

 The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.  Jeremiah 31.3

 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)  Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;  And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.”   2Corinthians 10.3-6

I pray the LORD will just bless you and bless you over and over and that you will be assured of His great love for you and that He will guide your steps and guard your thoughts.

 always in His hands,

from “Letters to my Sisters”

Keeping Up

teacuppamelaI’ve been thinking about this a lot lately… you know, keeping up.  Not the Keeping up with the Joneses sort of keeping up, but the staying strong and keeping up with the times sort of keeping up.  It’s been going on for awhile, but I hadn’t noticed it so much in the last few years as much as I have recently.

On a recent trip down to SeaTac airport, there was some questioning who’d drive and who’d stay home.  I volunteered to drive and as I was driving and the miles were passing… maybe it was mile-marker 14 or so, I mulled over the thought that I wondered  am I going the right way — or will I miss my turn-off?   Then I thought, O, that’s absurd, I go down to the airport at least once a month, if not more.  Then I got to thinking,  there sure have been a lot of changes to the Bellevue skyline and in the number of cars on the road.  And I felt old.   Music was playing… I hadn’t pushed any of the buttons (preset to stations I didn’t even know) and I noted that everyone in the vehicle was using some sort of device… listening, talking, texting… texting… texting.  And somewhere along the way, I thought: Omy, I really must work at keeping up.  A few minutes later, arriving at the departure gates, my daughter said I ought to go in and that she’d drive the van around; go ahead, mama, go ahead, I’ve got it.

Eventually I obliged and got out… still thinking, still feeling old, still thinking I need to keep up, I thought: Yes, you’ve got it; I used to have it and now I feel like I don’t.  And time seemed to stand still for a moment as I waited with the others for the passengers to deplane.  A bit later, as we made our way home, I commented to the driver, I need to keep driving sometimes — I need to stay sharp, I need to keep up.

She smiled and said, don’t worry, I don’t mind driving.  And I thought, me neither.   She doesn’t know I need to drive.  She doesn’t know I need to keep up.

Love what you do.

teacuppamelaYou’ve likely heard the phrase: “Do what you love, love what you do.”  Well… I got to thinking about that phrase sometime back and thought: one can’t always do that.  And then I thought, maybe I feel like I can’t always do what I love [to do], but I can learn to love what I do (and change my whole outlook in the process).   And so there was a turning point in my journey.  One of many turning points. :o)

Lemme give you an example.  Just this morning, I came into the kitchen planning to unload/reload my dishwasher (and to check out the horrific noise it makes when it’s running) and, upon opening the door, immediately coming to mind was the thought that this dishwasher smells bad.  Smells awful, really.  So I emptied the dishwasher and took out the racks.  There was gummy-dirt in the crevices – what?!?!? This is a dishwasher — a stainless-steel interior that has multiple sprayers in it.  How could the rack’s crevices be dirty?  I took the racks out and put them in the bathtub and sprayed them down with cleaner.  I proceeded back to the offending dishwasher and began to dismantle the sprayer and the spinner deal.  I sprayed them with cleaner, too.  I scrubbed the gasket… gunk was in the gasket of the hinged part of the door.  Well, bleck.  And then I thought…. and thought…. and it dawned on me that I could love to do just about any job — because it struck me, I’m not necessarily doing these things because I love to do them specifically — I do them because I love who I do them for — I love to have things be taken care of — not just for myself, but for my family, I love for my family to have their things properly cared for and I want my husband’s home to be a blessing to him.  So, essentially, I do what I love and I love what I do.

Maybe a couple of you remember when I needed an attitude adjustment regarding laundry a few years ago (yes, it’s been that long).  My husband asked me to just do it as a service to our family, not murmuring, not reminding them they were told to put the laundry in the hamper, not counting the numerous items — just cheerfully do the laundry.  And from that moment, I have sought to do it that way.  And I marvel at how a simple decision completely changes one’s outlook (and thinking!).  You see, I decided that’s exactly what I’d do.  And I did… and do.  And I type this to the hum and the click, click, clicking of rivets and snaps whirling around in the dryer.  I do a lot of laundry every day, so I get a lot of time to consider the decisions I make.

On any given day, I fetch things for others, pray and sing songs, I mend things, wash and iron, pray and carry sorrows, plant and dig up, listen and advise, fill cracks, pick up shatters, pray and dream dreams, clean up  messes, make  bigger ones and clean them all up again.  I’m home.  I do what I love and love what I do.

A few minutes ago, I looked up on the “white-board” to see a freshly written note: “We love our mom…. WLOM”  And I thought: this is why I do what I love.  This is why I love what I do.

2013… Endeavors

teacuppamela

It’s a new year, a clean, fresh start… be done with lesser things, be a woman who seeks joy, peace and love — start today doing foundational things… and what are these, where can they be found, Who is the Source?  The source is Jesus… Faith in the Living Lord Jesus and being found in Him… daily looking to Him; daily abiding in Him; daily watching at His gates and following in His Steps.  All of these “Endeavor-To-Be’s” are nothing if not founded upon the Faith of Jesus and His Life in and through us — know this “in my head” and I seek to know it — truly know it practically: in my heart.

I pray as you read this that you’ll join me in this endeavor… that you’ll join me in seeking to press on toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Jesus Christ.  We read this in Philippians 3.14   And for this calling, I seek to have my heart fixed: endeavoring to be, and do, these things in a renewed desire to be a living testimony of the Mercy and Grace of God… for He alone is Worthy.  In the end, I know I want my life to be a living sacrifice.  This has come to mind in recalling different women in my life whose lives were truly a living sacrifice of praise and because they were faithful women it was always evident that their lives were worthy of emulation.  And so, when I think of these women — along with women whose life stories I’ve read — it’s as though God gave me living pictures to bring to remembrance.

And so, today as I was mentally gathering the different virtues that characterized them — I realized there are so many qualities I have long desired to see bear fruit in my life and in order for that to happen,  it occurred to me that I must prayerfully set my life on the altar that I might die to self, die to past failures and regrets, unmet expectations, disappointments, bitterness, shame, envy — all of these things, for they stand in the way of the fruit of the Spirit.  When I allow any of these things ‘place’ in my life, it’s as though I invite the devil in for tea… to do and say, act and control anything he wants… it’s as if I let him set up housekeeping in my life — and I know that I know that I know I don’t want this to be the case. And so, God being my strength and my guide, my help and my source… I lay my life down at His feet that He might raise me up to be a vessel He uses, a vessel that gives Him glory and honour.  Thus,  my resolve is to have a life well lived and fully yielded to Him…

I Endeavor to…

Be in the Word daily.
Be in prayer daily.
Be thankful for each day and for whatever each day brings.

I Endeavor to…

Be a woman of the Word.
Be a woman of Prayer.
Be a woman who Seeks the Lord.
Be a woman who Listens for His Voice.
Be a woman who Obeys His commands.
Be a woman who is Faithful.
Be a woman who Believes.
Be a woman who Trusts and is Trustworthy.
Be a woman who Loves her Husband.
Be a woman who Loves her Children.
Be a woman who is Wise.
Be a woman who is Discreet.
Be a woman who is Respectful and Respectable.
Be a woman who is Thankful.
Be a woman who is Godly.
Be a woman who is Content.
Be a woman who is Chaste.
Be a woman who is Discerning.
Be a woman who is Kind.
Be a woman who is Honest.
Be a woman who is Gentle.
Be a woman who is Charitable.
Be a woman who is Modest.
Be a woman who is Grateful.
Be a woman who is Hospitable.
Be a woman who is Generous.
Be a woman who is Prudent.
Be a woman who is Merciful.
Be a woman who is Industrious.
Be a woman who is Courteous.
Be a woman who is Careful.
Be a woman who is Thorough.
Be a woman who is Honourable.
Be a woman who is Just.
Be a woman who is Good.
Be a woman who is Considerate.
Be a woman who is Forbearing.
Be a woman who is Honest.
Be a woman who is Resourceful.
Be a woman who is Meek.
Be a woman who Waits.
Be a woman who Listens.
Be a woman who is Gracious.
Be a woman who is Healthful.
Be a woman who is Diligent.
Be a woman who has a Tender Heart.
Be a woman who is a Living Legacy.

I Endeavor to…

Be a woman of Hope.
Be a woman of Joy.
Be a woman of Peace.
Be a woman of Patience.
Be a woman of Kindness.
Be a woman of Gentleness.
Be a woman of Temperance.
Be a woman of Inner Beauty.
Be a woman of Purity.
Be a woman of Grace.

I Endeavor to…

Be a sweet woman… a woman who seeks to be a sweet, fragrant offering… a memory maker… a sweet, sweet, memory maker.  I want to gracefully move through the seasons of my life… fully in season… fully engaged… everywhere I am, I want to BE there…all there.

Empty Spaces

I don’t know what it is about “empty spaces” and my (and maybe your) insatiable need to fill them, but both are there: the empty spaces and the insatiable need to fill them.  I guess I attempt to fill full spaces, too… but that’s another story for another day.

I was tempted to take the beautiful new calendar my daughter bought for me and insert it into the oak calendar frame and rehang it clean and fresh — empty — for awhile.  But before I knew it, I was filling in birthdays — deciding to limit the notations to ‘family’ birthdays (and use my day-planner for these and everyone else’s birthdays) and other significant dates and events.

That’s when I began to think about the insatiable filling of space… spaces in rooms, on shelves, closets, cabinets… and: scheduling.   While considering  all this,  it struck me: I cannot recall ever scheduling empty space — making time for nothing; read: no thing.   Through all the many years of homeschooling, I’ve never scheduled time for “nothing.”  I’ve scheduled “free time” but it was not for *no-thing* it was/is for all the stuff that couldn’t be done in a day and somehow the hope was to get it done during what’s loosely called free-time.  I always find ways to fill and overload my “free time” so I’ll seem more productive.

Now, I know I’ve had days “off” with no real plans and I’ve frittered away the time doing nothing important and so I guess, to some, this would constitute a day of nothing — and — I have set aside days for which there are to be no “outside commitments” or no appointments, etc. But a day or a portion of time set aside for “nothing” on purpose?!?! — this, I don’t recall ever doing.  Generally, when there’s down-time, it’s a result of cancelled plans or sickness or whatever — but not something scheduled on purpose — and it seems to immediately get filled.

My dear old friend, Florence, used to say that she scheduled a day of NO THINGS after each retreat or workshop for which she was the guest speaker.   She’d do this to recharge — to rejuvenate — after speaking engagements that always tended to run long and require much “counseling” with attendees — generally coupled with long distance travel.  I always knew this was her great joy and passion, but it took its toll on her — both physically and emotionally.  I admired her careful planning and ordered life.  But, truly, I also knew that her days of doing “no” thing were anything but days of *no* things.  I know they were times of recharging, refocusing, resting in the Lord, thinking on His Word, listening to restful music and mulling over what all had transpired before the day of “no things.”

It was good for me to remember this as I was gathering my thoughts for this blog post… and I’m needing to consider this a bit more as I plan for the days ahead and all the different needs of this home and family.  And… just like I’m trying to eliminate clutter from our home’s cabinets, closets and drawers, so also, I want to eliminate clutter from our schedules — AND — to plan for more *do no thing*  times — scheduling some empty space times. I want us to be careful to follow the Lord in this so that it doesn’t become a time of silly things or a time for irresponsibility…  I believe prayerful consideration and wisdom will be key in this.

And, as an aside, while I know there’s a good place for scheduling in different seasons of life — and some seasons will have some fairly intense scheduling — but when it’s all said and done, I’ve come to think it’s wisest to simply make a list of things that must be accomplished by certain times each day – and do them.  And then a list of things that should be done at least every-other-day — and do them.  And then a list of things that must be done weekly — and do them. You see?  This way, we are trained and our children are trained to accomplish important things — decently and in order.  I think it takes some times of *no* things to focus on, be ready for and appreciate the times of more things.

So… I’m working on creating some more ’empty spaces’ from time to time…

Habits

It’s sure hard to change habits, isn’t it?!?!  Habits are so engrained in us that sometimes probably often times we think we’re never ever going to change — our flesh is selfish!!  We often think maybe we just need more will power or more self control.  Have you thought this, too?   I sure have… I’ve thought that after all this time, I sure ought to be____________, or I sure ought to have done__________; but I’m not and/or I haven’t.  I know I have desire, I have ability, I have resources… and then I think on “will-power” – you know, the depletable resource we try to keep going, trying to refuel until we realize we’ve run out of fuel? This may happen over an hour, a day or a week or longer.   The thing that’s so hard is that shear “will-power” is short lived – it’s so easily depleted.  It often seems that will-power is vapor… but for sure, it’s depletable.

de·plete/diˈplēt/

  • Use up the supply of; exhaust the abundance of.
  • Diminish in number or quantity.

    • Synonyms: exhaust – drain – empty – use up – evacuate

    I’ve come to see that it’s actually a very good thing  that “will-power” is short lived and so easily depleted. I sure see that it’s why I so often see my need of the Lord so significantly — if I could do all this stuff on my own, I would think I didn’t need Him.  And because I’ve seen I cannot do all this stuff on my own: I *do* need Him.  I shake my head wondering why I continually live like I don’t need Him…  Like, I’ve got this, Lord, I’ll call on You if things get tough.  Fact is, I don’t always call on Him *when* things get tough.  And it’s never, ever a question of whether things will get tough or not — for, sure things will get tough.

    So… I’m reading different things about repatterning behaviour – or, as one author says, overwriting a bad habit with new behaviour.  The premise is that bad habits cannot be eliminated entirely but that they can be overwritten.  By overwriting a bad habit, that bad habit is turned into a good pattern or a good routine.  As an example, when a bad habit has overtaken a life, it isn’t generally something that will be easily changed/eliminated — so if there’s a desire to change that bad habit, it’s necessary to line up solutions or new patterns along with some sort of reward for sticking to the new pattern.

    I’ve found it so hard to lose weight… or, actually, to lose weight and keep it off.  It’s not a matter of will power when I’ve been able to accomplish the goal of weightloss, it’s a matter of fueling that depletable resource or setting up solutions for pitfalls.  Continuing on with the consideration of weightloss as an example, I remove the trappings or pitfalls and I fill those spaces with healthful alternatives and activities.  For example, I might have cut vegetables on the counter for snacking, cold fresh fruit in the fridge, cold lemon water in a pitcher.  I have found that if I let myself compromise, the next compromises will come sooner and heavier than each before.  A little phrase I’ve brought to mind over and over:  Make no provision for the flesh… make right provision for the flesh.  I take away or don’t go where my fleshly desires tend to wander and because I know where my flesh tends to wander, I make provision for such times.

    This principle works on so many levels.  From ways I’m spending my time, to computer use, to thought patterns, to responses, to scheduling… I need to continue repatterning… repatterning… repatterning.  I need to do this over and over and over again until I overwrite bad habits (or when beginning new ones).  Amazingly this repetition sincerely does become habit — part of the fabric of my life.  As an aside, to be very candid, I feel so weary when I’ve recognized that I’ve wandered from the path that had become such a good pattern.    When I fall… and fall back into that bad habit, thought pattern, etc., etc., I’ve learned that I must continually resort to the Lord, to the patterns He set before me.  I recognize sooner, repent sooner and more quickly request and renew my strength in Him.

    The most important thing for me to remember is that I must patiently hope in the Lord and not be discouraged when I don’t see overnight change in my life.  I must see that day by day, in faith, He is changing me.

    It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.
    Lamentations 3.26
    But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.
    Romans 8.25

    Untangling the wwWeb – part two

    This is “part two” of the previous post by the same name — you can read it here.  The reason I’ve entitled this and the previous post: Untangling the wwWeb is bcz it truly is a  tangling or entangling web.  Now, what I hope is understood here is that the web or internet or electronic communication is not the enemy — it’s not all bad.  In fact, I readily admit that it’s a profoundly invaluable tool.  But tools are just that: tools.  We utilize tools — and the right tools help us accomplish tasks much more efficiently than were we to not have them.  Tools misused or used in the wrong hands are actually dangerous.   We can think of the internet (or iPhones, smart phones or any other communication device) as a tool — a very useful tool if used properly.   Unplanned or unbridled internet use is dangerous and should, from here on, be evaluated as a properly or improperly used tool.

    Here’s an idea for you.  Set the timer for 20 minutes right now or next time you use your computer (or iPhone or whatever).  Bing! the timer will ring and you’ll be shocked just how fast twenty minutes passes!  Now, for amplification, set the timer for that same amount of time before embarking on some task you don’t like doing.  You’ll be shocked how slowly twenty minutes passes!  That little exercise is to give you an idea just how much time you’ve  wasted spent invested online.   You can never get that time back.  Ever again.

    In order to untangle from the web — and it is, in intensity and enormity, a world. wide. web. — I believe you must (in addition to answering those questions in “part one” of this post) admit you’re tangled in it (if you are) and then do some fessing up to yourself, to your husband, to your children.  Your fessing up may extend beyond your home.  Think back on days gone by… how were they really spent?  How much time did/do you really spend online? And, as with all addiction recovery, a course or a plan of action and accountability should be — read:  must be — established.   A lack of a plan is a plan to fail and disregarding accountability is a sure plan to cheat yourself.

    You may clean the room, clean the space in your life that the net once fully occupied, but unless you fill that space with plans, purposes, activities and measurable accomplishments, that space will be filled with demons of a worse kind.   Those demons might be resentment, regret, shame, anger, self-pity, bitterness, pride, anxiety, frustration, woeful longing and on and on.  Those demons travel in a pack.

    Get busy and stay busy.  Look well to the ways of your household and do not eat the bread of idleness.

    Wherever you are, be fully there.  Whatever you’re doing, be fully doing it.  Whoever you’re talking with, be fully engaged in conversation.  It may shock you how disconnected you’ve been.  It may shock them how distracted you were and now aren’t! It may be weird for them–  and you — to be doing all the stuff you delegated (so you could be freed up to do all that important good stuff on the internet).  Watch out for personal  resentment if you’re not appreciated for all your hard work.  Determine to live joyfully in your home.  Purpose to change your tomorrows since you cannot do a single thing to change the yesterdays.  You can change — your days can change and in doing so, you’ll be investing in your tomorrows.

    Set about accomplishing the things you’ve set aside… maybe neglected.  You know, the stuff you used to do before the the tangled wwWeb got you and your time all wrapped up.  As you do things, you’ll experience delightful appreciation for personal growth and accomplishment — interest and investment in your home and family once again.  You’ll be living all those pictures you’ve been dreaming about.  Try new things.  You sleep better knowing that the greater satisfaction comes in actually doing and accomplishing instead of just observing; reading about things other women seem to be doing or seeing pictures of all that all those other mothers seem to be accomplishing.  Keep in mind each day that the wise woman builds her house but the foolish plucks it down with her own hands.

    In time you’ll establish a balance of best vs. good… literal vs. virtual… wise vs. foolish or not-so-wise time investment.  You’ll begin seeing or will begin doing all the things you knew deep down you wanted to do/you should be doing… but couldn’t do bcz you were all tangled up viewing a screen.  Drinking another cup of coffee.

    ♥ may you always be blessed.

    Untangling the wwWeb

    Untangling from an internet bound life is sort of like limiting coffee consumption (but worse. so much worse). You might not even know you’re addicted to caffeine until you attempt to go without it for a day — or, okay, a morning without it.  And then, if you’re addicted, you know it. You really know it.  Your pounding headache constantly reminds you.

    It’s hard.  It’s actually painful — very painful — at first… and then, enduring the pain, you see a few days pass and the pain diminishes.   You may have given up or reduced your coffee consumption but the pull is always there… especially when you catch a whiff of the nearly intoxicating aroma of great coffee.

    In time, you learn to drink a cup of coffee and be satisfied.  If you’ve been a long time coffee drinker — the kind that can’t live without coffee — it may take time — lots of time — before you can trust yourself to keep within a predetermined limited indulgence.

    Maybe your deal’s not coffee or chocolate or any butter-sugar-flour combination food.  Maybe your deal’s just the internet… maybe, like me, you’ve found your life wrapped up in a tangled mess of lost time, neglected duties, distracted thoughts, misunderstandings and forgotten purpose.   In a way, it doesn’t really matter what had (or has) you distracted and off course — like I’ve said many times, even good things are the enemy of best things.  So if you (believe me, I’ve been there, been here, and fully understand) have found yourself all caught up in all the good things — the very good things of the internet — you may need to take a step back and ask yourself some hard questions.  Well, the questions aren’t hard at all, it’s the truth — or facing it — that’s the hard part.

    I sincerely offer this baker’s dozen following questions… your answers may be helpful or insightful to you and may prompt you to consider the need re-chart your course.

    1.  Have I left my first Love?
    2. Am I doing the things I am responsible, gifted, supposed to be doing?
    3. Am I accomplishing the goals and plans I have (or had) for my home/marriage/motherhood?
    4. Would my husband be pleased with how I have spent the hours of each day/week?
    5. Do I ignore that inner prompting to get busy with my responsibilities?
    6. Do I make excuses for how important my computer related activities are?
    7. Would I be willing to list some things that have obviously gone by the wayside bcz I’ve been distracted on the computer?
    8. Have I heard negative comments about the amount of time I spend online?
    9. Can I go a day without checking into Facebook, email, blogging, reading blogs or looking at Pinteresting things?
    10. Do you frequently say the meaningless phrases, Just a minute or Just a sec?
    11.  Do you feel you have a right to not be interrupted while using, browsing, writing, being entertained on the computer?
    12. Do you prefer to miss activities, visits, etc., so you don’t have to miss being online?
    13.  And finally, does a power outage send you into a frenzied panic?

    All those questions weren’t meant to be glib or even entertaining — they’re serious questions to prompt serious introspection and reflection and hopefully give some inspiration for changing your tomorrows.

     

    Things happen; and life goes on.

    I thought I’d sort of continue on from where I left off yesterday (and then life goes on).  Things happen; usually a bunch of things have to happen in order to arrest our attention – unless someone yells, Fire! or someone comes in bloody or the phone rings in the middle of the night.  Those things get out attention.

    Unfortunately, there are a whole bunch of other things happening (and not happening) that don’t get out attention — at least not until some crisis happens.  Even then, we may address the interruption and move on… never seeing — really seeing — what’s going on.  Thus, the damage being done by too much computer/electronic device games or text messaging  is not so easy to see (harder to admit). Things happen, though, and we see them if we would break away long enough to listen and if we’d stop long enough to see.  Just take a look around — anywhere — everywhere — you’ll see distracted individuals all connected and disconnected at the same time.

    Things happen; and life goes on.   Here’s where I hope, today, to be of some help.  When things happen that bring us to our day of reckoning, we might foolishly focus on the day of reckoning instead of on the “things happening” and we might wallow in our despair over what we think we’ve lost instead of the damage our actions (or inaction) caused.   On the first day of the greatest sorrow we’d ever faced, my husband asked me for my computer — and as I’ve written in the past (here) you know that I humbly and gladly did so.   I recall thinking: Anything! Anything at this point, I will do it. I knew.  I didn’t need to be asked twice and I didn’t need an explanation — nor did I give one.  I knew.  My days of being overly distracted by the computer had culminated in a breach of attention to my home and resulted in a deep time of sorrow, chastening and redemption.

    Time and space do not allow for recounting of the marvels and miracles the Lord showed and did on my behalf and on the behalf of my family.  In the 97 days one of our daughters was away, in the near death experience of our missionary son, in the loss of friendships and in the division of our home church, God worked deeply, powerfully, tenderly, painfully and lovingly.   I cannot blame, nor do I seek to blame, anyone or anything… but this I know: what the devil intended for evil, God is working for good.

    The life goes on part is this:  When we face trials and temptations, we can be assured of these very things: God is working all things together for our good and His glory and “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.” –1Cor 10.13

    The days I thought I could not bear: passed.  They passed by and underneath were the loving Arms.   They way of escape?  A humble and contrite heart seeking faithful obedience.  Period.  I don’t know how else to explain the outpouring of grace in those dark days (and these).   When we seek Him, He is faithful and just to hear our prayers — and though the consequences may continue on (and be ugly!), you can rely on this:  God is and will be at work as time goes on.  He is the restorer of the breach — He truly is!  He is the lover of our souls — He truly is!  And every son [daughter] He loves, He chastens — ouch, He truly does!

    So then what?  What’s after a big fall?  I learned a valuable truth about God in the earthquake, the wind and the storm — the Lord taught me this at the time and then later during a study of 1Kings.  It’s what I most longed for — then and now — the still small voice of the LORD.  “.

    And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the LORD.
    And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.
    1 Kings 19.11-12

    After the fire: the still small voice — and isn’t that the sweetest .

    Next: (part 3-ish) Make no provision for the flesh.