Slices of Life – Page 2 – The Welcome Home

songs for seasons

teacuppamela Just recently I was sharing with my church family the many times the Lord has given me a song for a season — songs playing in the theater of my mind in different seasons. Through the years, here in this blog, I’ve shared clips of songs or meaningful words that have carried me through difficult days or trials. Interestingly (and thankfully!), the Lord has often used music to direct or focus my thoughts. When my mind would tend to wander in caves of worry or despair, songs have been my pillar of fire in darkness; songs have been my anchor in tumultuous seas; songs have borne the truth when the enemy has rushed in with floods of lies; songs have pointed to certain reality when shadows of doubt have been cast over my path.

The gift of music! What blessing the Lord has worked in music – many songs – psalms, hymns and spiritual songs! Five years ago, in the midst of the greatest sorrow I’ve ever known, the Lord used a few songs to carry me through each day and night during that season. In time to come I would experience and see very clearly the truth I’d been singing for months: “Anything that’s shattered, when laid before the Lord, will not be unredeemed… ” (Unredeemed – Selah). I will be eternally grateful to What God did for me in that season and the things He’s continuing to work in me from the lessons those days brought me. I needed to be broken—I needed all the lessons the Lord worked in me through that time.

On the heels of that season came another pressing trial when our son Timothy was so very sick. God again used song to carry us: Great is Thy Faithfulness would ring in our ears over and over. The miracle God provided proved this true: How great! O, how great is the faithfulness of God! Morning by morning new mercies we did see! Later in that same year and into the next, I would face another trial… blindsided, really, and yet God had a great purpose in all that, too. On so many levels I needed what that trial taught me—teaches me still! Having sunk to another lowest of lows, another song would carry me through: (Springtime’s Coming – Hopper). For a few months, my husband set this song to play to wake me every morning. Occasionally, at random points in those days, he would remind me with a smile: Springtime’s coming, and the words and melody would again ring in my ears. On an early April morning, I would receive and open a package containing the biggest surprise we’ve ever received. Truly, right before my eyes, “God had the biggest surprise” just as the song I’d been singing proclaimed. It was more than a dream.

Fast-forward a few years: I shouldn’t have been surprised at how another song would become dear and instructive to me — actually a very unlikely song has been invaluable to me. Sort of like the Happy! song the Lord used to encourage me during my husband’s open heart surgery and recovery… that one occasionally had me dancing and clapping along like a room without a roof! Well, this time, the song that is encouraging me was playing at Christmastime (Count your Blessings – Ray Conniff singers) and I’ve needed the little nuggets of gold contained in the song. I’ve needed to be reminded to fall asleep counting blessings instead of sheep.

In a season of change, I’ve been drawn into worry and fretting and, occasionally at the end of the day, into counting sheep instead of blessings when sleep’s been elusive — I smile when the thoughts prompted by that song ring through: “…we’ll kneel and pray to be shown the way; and when we’re worried and we can’t sleep, count our blessings instead of sheep and we’ll fall asleep counting our blessings!”

Maybe the Lord uses song or music in your life to carry you, to instruct or encourage you as He has in mine. I sure hope so.

The recovery road

wesandmeinhospitalbeforesurgery All the information, booklets, visits from the different therapists and the remarks of different doctors in the days and hours prior to leaving the hospital following my husband’s open heart bypass surgery didn’t prepare me for the recovery road. Yes, I’d listened intently. Yes, I’d taken notes and appeared to comprehend all the information they were giving me — giving us.

I guess I was prepared for what they’d specifically instructed me to do when we returned home, but I wasn’t prepared for the other stuff — the other stuff that they didn’t tell me. And now, looking back, I see that there was “other stuff” they couldn’t tell me –– they couldn’t prepare me for what I’d experience any more than the obstetrician could prepare me for what I’d experience in labour and delivery and for the weeks following the birth of our first child. I marvel at the similarities.

Last July, we were sitting out on the deck of a local restaurant enjoying the airplanes, hotair balloons and the beautiful sunset. In ordering the bacon wrapped tenderloin, I obviously completely forgot that my. husband. had. just. had. open. heart. surgery. We’d walked there so that we could keep with the prescribed daily walking schedule — two to three walks per day, increasing the length of the walks each day. But, yes, I shot us both in the foot with that order.

Through the month of July when our first son was born 35 years ago, each day was filled with the activities of feeding, bathing, napping, dressing, strolls, and extended times of just gazing at him while he slept. I’d gently lay my head near my son’s face to hear his breathing or my hand on his back to feel the gentle rise and fall of each respiration. Each day seemed so long but the weeks seemed to fly by — such an uncanny parallel to the way this past July was spent.

Each day we’d wake up early, the sun streaming in our living room — my husband in his recliner, and I beside him on my temporary bed. The new electric recliner gave him so much freedom to get up or sit by himself, but the tone of the electronic lift was like an alarm clock — the operative word being: alarm. 😉 Though he never complained of my incessant, day or night, staring and asking, are you okay? I stared at him while he rested, stared at him while he ate, stared at him while he read. Each day seemed long — much like those early newborn days, a flurry of firsts, busy days just like the early days of the first baby, my days were filled with feeding, bathing, napping, dressing, strolls and staring at my… husband. Somehow the busyness of keeping each day’s chart filled in — assorted new meds, his temperature, blood pressure, walks, water, meals and doctor visits all served as distractions to what was really going on or what had really gone on.

I wasn’t prepared for the new tentative feel to life. I wasn’t prepared for the feeling that this was all very temporary — that at any time my husband would have another heart attack and we’d do all that all over again. I wasn’t prepared for what felt like the loss of the middle years — suddenly catapulted to the later years — the last years. I didn’t anticipate that there’s be potholes on the recovery road and surely didn’t anticipate their source. I wasn’t prepared for the comments and questions I’d receive and, therefore, didn’t have a ready response. Instead of hearing them as simple conversation, I heard them as attacks and didn’t have the wherewithal to give reasoned answers. I took my husband’s health personally and have felt ashamed that I contributed to it being what it is — that I could have/should have made better choices for the last thirty six years and, had I done so, he’d not be in the condition he is.

In saner, stronger, more rational moments I’ve been able to reason that, first, God is sovereign. That’s a sure plank on which to stand. He’s also Lord of my life, Lord of my husband’s life and has been our sustainer, provider, strength, and guide through all these years. I’ve been careful to be in the Word and in prayer daily and to recognize, ultimately, where the feeling of attack came/comes from. The devil knows my weaknesses and one of them is guilt or shame over things that happen around me — that when bad things happen, it must be my fault; when relationships are strained, it must be my fault; if/when my kids fail, reject me, reject the Lord, or whatever: it must be my fault. So also, when my husband’s health failed, surely it must be my fault and to excuse myself in any way would mean I’m not accepting the fact. It’s a vicious cycle — one I’m very familiar with — one that I must work diligently to accurately see for what it is.

It’s a decision I’m not always quick to react with though, and sometimes I’m in the middle of a pothole when I finally see I’ve fallen into the trap the devil’s set for me on the road. And in that place, I must resolve to yield to the Lord: I resolve to rest in His promises. I used to see as weakness what I now see as yieldedness. I used to see as a copout what I now see as trust. What I used to see as naïve I now see as faith. I often wish it hadn’t taken me so long to see these truths.

No one sets out to have heart disease — but I wish I’d grasped early on what it is to set out to NOT have heart disease. Obviously, I don’t even yet grasp this.

Y2K15 Inspiration and Notable Quotables

teacuppamela

No matter how many times I set out to NOT make “New Year’s” or “New Years” or “New Year” Resolutions, I end up making mental lists of resolves anyway. Somehow, not writing them down makes them safe to consider. It’s a mind-game — one I usually lose. Last year I set out to continue instead of to begin a whole list of things because that’s all I really wanted to do at this point, one year ago. I’d been having success losing weight using the THM plan and my plan was to simply press on. I did. Another thing I wanted to do was to press on reading my Bible each day. I determined not to again resolve (and fail) to read-it-through-in-a-year but to simply read it each day. Most days I did. I want to improve this. I recall last year’s thoughts — and many previous year’s resolutions, actually, and they were simply this: application, application, application. I’ve learned so many good things. So many good things. I just want to do them. I just want to live them.

This is on my mind because of a recent family conversation. When our children have their eighteenth birthday, we treat them, along with honoured guests (the children in our family who’ve already had their eighteenth birthday), to a special lunch celebration. Wes and I gathered with Naomi and eight of our children to celebrate this milestone. During the course of lunch Wes had us all share two things with Naomi; one being the sharing of a quality we most appreciate about her and the other being something we wish we’d known (or had done) at eighteen that we know now. Each of our children’s answers were such an encouragement — not only to Naomi, but to each of us. As each shared, around the table there were nods of affirmation and comments of agreement. It was actually cathartic to share experiences and evaluate things we wish we’d known at eighteen that we know now and good to revisit things we planned at eighteen or thought were important at eighteen.

As I continue to ponder another year passing and a new one just beginning, I am profoundly mindful this year that these few days before the New Year are as much a time of humble reflection as they are a time of hopeful anticipation. And, no doubt, part of that humble reflection necessitates a bit of repentance and certainly awesome gratitude to the Lord for His great goodness and mercy through the past year. The hopeful anticipation just might take the form of earnest prayer for the days ahead on the unmarred, clean calendar pages.

“A new year is unfolding—like a blossom
with petals curled tightly
concealing the beauty within.”
-author unknown

So, as you think ahead to the coming year, maybe you’re tempted to boldly proclaim making a fresh start — maybe you long to “get it right” or to have another chance. It’s common, especially if your year end reflection isn’t all that terrific. You may feel it’s just another year you’ll add to a string of others that weren’t necessarily stellar years either. I can type this because that’s been me a number of times. And I totally get it when others relate their similar low year’s end conclusions.

Maybe you don’t have all that many things to correct/do over/eliminate. Maybe you need to eliminate some clutter in your life and get organized… here are some great ideas for you. Maybe you need to make some relationship type things right (0r just better!)… maybe you need to accept some hardships or disappointments and press on in faith. Whatever the case, you’ve got a clean calendar in front of you—be wise how you fill the days ahead. And you might be inspired by quotes in a Huffington Post article posted last year.

“A happy New Year! Grant that I
May bring no tear to any eye
When this New Year in time shall end
Let it be said I’ve played the friend,
Have lived and loved and labored here,
And made of it a happy year.”
~Edgar Guest

Note to self: Read more. Dawdle less. Pray more. Fret less. Trust more. Murmur less. Smile more. Critique less. Be thankful more. Envy less. Listen more. Talk less. Be humble. Love more. Be gracious. And in all your getting, get understanding. 🙂

And don’t forget our Fresh Clean Start Giveaway!

Someday an Heirloom Marriage

Someday an Heirloom Marriage
by pamela spurling
written year-2000

I pray as we sit here at the kitchen table, that what I share with you today will be a blessing to you and a blessing in your home—I pray it will maybe even change the way you look at your marriage and perhaps it will never be the same again.

So… Your Marriage is an Heirloom. An heirloom that, depending on its value, will be passed down for generations… I think most times, women don’t have any idea the value of what they have in their hand and that it is quite possibly one day going to be an heirloom: a treasure passed on to someone else. Think of all the things you love that once belonged to someone else… things that at the time, probably had little monetary or sentimental value to the owner. Think of treasures from your grandmother or mother… things you highly value that they may have once considered of little worth. Think of the things you now own and use… things your children may one day treasure: things that you now give little thought to using each day…things that you, for the most part, take for granted. Marriage is sort of like this sometimes. Here we have what the LORD calls a mystery… the mystery of the two becoming one flesh… the mystery that is likened to Christ and the church. A man leaves his father and mother to be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. A mystery… a gift: two people: one flesh.

An heirloom.

Have you ever considered the treasure you have in your hand? O, you may not see it as a treasure today… in fact, you may think your marriage merits little attention and is really of little worth. That may be how it is…or that may be how you see it today. Consider for a moment how it would be if you were to see it and treat it as an heirloom. What if you were to treat it as a precious crocheted covering or an embroidered cloth… each thread carefully stitched in place, each knot tied with precision, the cloth itself handled with diligent care. You know, as people go through their lives, they often don’t consider the things they are collecting to be “heirlooms.” In fact some things we collect, we may not even consider valuable until someone remarks at the beauty or worth of the item. And then suddenly that old thing become like a priceless gem. Some things are only valuable because of their condition or age… not because of their original value or usefulness. Some items may not originally appraise at a very high value but given a few years the increase in valuation is remarkable.

Think of what folks are willing to pay for antique furniture that is overly worn, chipped, and marred. Notice how much people prize this type of furniture that they try to emulate depression era or old furniture by roughing up, “antiquing,” denting, sanding around the handles and knobs, gouging the tops and sides—doing things in *one* day on a counterfeit that took *decades* of wear and use on the heirloom piece.

But what if you treated your marriage as an heirloom… What if you handled it with care… what if you tended to it as a gardener attends to prized roses… what if you tended to it as a mother to her newborn or as a jeweler polishes the gems… what if you protected it as a crossing guard protects the little children in the walk… what if you watched over it as one watches over a sick child… or if you invested in it as some invest time in perfecting a skill… or invest money… or if you protected it as one who protects from harm…or what if you cherished it as one cherishes the wedding kiss… prized photographs… fine gold… flawless gems.

Your marriage is an heirloom… and its condition is dependent largely on how you care for, nurture, guard and protect it. I am mindful today that I am writing to some whose marriages are on shaky ground, whose foundations are cracked and whose walls have been compromised… it is with this in mind that I share from my heart that even a marriage of this condition can still become a treasured heirloom. Think back on that prized antique furniture… whose value increased by the stresses sustained in its lifetime. Even when a piece such as this is “restored,” some of the fractures and scars remain… much like stresses in marriages that God has healed and restored. It’s often the mended stresses that are the strongest and add the deepest meaning and value to the antique—likewise to a marriage. God is still on the Throne and He specializes in restorative work—nothing escapes His gaze and nothing is too difficult for Him.

Patching and mending…

We have a quilt… it’s not particularly beautiful or attractive. My husband has had this woolen hand-pieced quilt for many years. Early in our marriage, I knew he loved this quilt but I didn’t yet understand the depth of his love for both the quilt and the great grandmother who made it. I didn’t know his great grandmother and so with time, in hearing of her love for the LORD and her great faith, I have learned to value this quilt. Something I would like to note to wives is that we often don’t realize the hurt we cause and the damage we do to the heart of our husband when we reject their possessions or treat them carelessly. I am very sorry now for the many times I neglected or discounted the value of some of my husband’s treasures. A wise wife will never make disparaging comments about her husband’s cherished possessions. So, over the years the old quilt has needed mending… and sadly, I have neglected it until the need was obvious. Instead of patching and mending it right away, instead of being careful with and watchful over one of *his* favorite possessions, years would go by and the seams would ravel and some of the stuffing would come out… all because I didn’t value it and tend to it sooner.

Marriage is like this… unless we are attuned to protecting and tending to our marriages, they will become like this heirloom quilt… it shows its age, it shows its neglect, it shows it worn spots, it shows where it lost its stuffing, and it shows where its raveled. Matthew 6:21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also

You may not have the tangible heirloom quilt in your hand… but you have in your hand the quilt of your marriage… and like freshly sewn blocks in a quilt… things for you may have gone along neatly fitting together for years: piece by piece, square by square, block by block. Your stitches may have started out straight and even… possessing all the qualities of a remarkable heirloom quilt and then with time, the stitching may have become careless and uneven. You may now have in your hand that same quilt that you had so carefully begun stitching… and it now shows evidence of the tears and worn spots, places that needed mending, places where careless use or misuse caused holes and even rips, a spot or two where the stuffing was pulled out and nothing was added back in its place, or other places where the stuffing was put back in and the whole area was retied. You may look around at other quilts and compare the quality and be dissatisfied with the value or quality of your own. Oh how we need to refrain from doing this… this can be so damaging. Instead, we need to be about the business of attending to our own… an heirloom quilt is unique because of the special design of the Master and the love invested in its making.

You may have, in the heirloom quilt of your marriage, places where the patches are brighter and sturdier than the original fabric, the thread used in the mending— stronger and more vivid. These are the places of greatest value to you in the quilt… stronger than the original pieces. You may have places where the ties are stronger than the original ties, you may have a new backing…new binding. You may run your fingers over the quilt and feel the smooth and the rough patches… some of the ties tied into bows and some tight knots… some of the stitches: straight and smooth, others loose and jagged.

Whatever the case, were you to look at the quilt of your marriage as a priceless heirloom, would you do the patching and mending? Would you tend to it with attentive care? Part of my thinking is prompted by watching the blooming of Josh and Kimberly’s marriage… and of watching our son Daniel and his wife Tara’s marriage. I think of the many ways in which their marriages are like a vast canvas—clean and white, and with everyday a brush stroke adds colour and dimension to their “someday an heirloom marriage.” As I have walked through their homes I smile as I see them building their lives… adding things, experiences, joys and sorrows that are all becoming part of the quilt of their marriage. The trials and testings that come their way will either strengthen or weaken the fabric of their marriage. I’m blessed to watch the development of these priceless heirlooms. I get sort of weepy sometimes when I see them and others… the quilt blocks coming together so neatly and so sweetly… as I know there will surely be days ahead—those necessary experiences that will test the strength and construction of their quilt… that will add or detract from the value of their heirloom. Then, I look at our own marriage… I see the beautiful hues, the pinks and the blues, the bright spots and the deep black etchings… the patching, the mended tears and tight knots… all the events of our marriage that make it into an heirloom…an heirloom that I treasure today—an heirloom I desire to be treasured and remembered by our children long after we are gone.

I think of the times I have neglected the patching… much like Wes’s woolen quilt originally carefully made by his great grandmother. I think of the times when my carelessness and my haste made for injury and foolish rips in the fabric of the quilt of our marriage. I think of the times when I neglected to be sensitive and the seams raveled and the rebinding and mending was painful. I think of the times when the pressure was tremendous and both of us had to work diligently to reinforce the stressed spots. I recall times when I didn’t feel like adding the extra fabric to reinforce the blocks… even though I knew exactly what was needed and the LORD was supplying all the “material” and “thread” to mend the tear. Even sadder, I look back and see that I sometimes have rejected the pieces my husband was offering to patch up the tear… and I rejected them in pride: thinking I knew a better way. How foolish it is to not accept the love… to not forgive and move on.

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” Proverbs 14.1

And so… a “someday an heirloom marriage” requires that I be diligent to know the condition of the quilt… and I must be more than willing to make the first stitch in the needed repair… instead of waiting for my husband to make the first stitch. I need to be daily valuing each additional block… and carefully piecing what God is providing. I need to watch my actions and the things I allow… I need to guard from the damaging words and negligence that destroys the foundation of this heirloom. I need to preserve the treasure and not let carelessness destroy or compromise depreciate the value of this precious heirloom.

Someday an heirloom marriage.

When our children look back on the story of our marriage… I hope they’ll see the quilt of our marriage hemmed in prayer, the seams stitched with faith, the old pieces we both brought and offered to each other that were fitted together and formed each block of the quilt… that they’ll see a marriage built on the secure foundation of faith in the LORD stitched with some sorrow and tied with gladness… all the bright spots to highlight the joys and the dark spots for depth and clarity to punctuate the grief and to frame the forgiveness and the faith. I pray they’ll see it all and praise the LORD for His goodness and His merciful kindness… all the while knowing that without Jesus at the center… the quilt blocks would have separated all frayed and raveled, the pieces would have had no purpose or value… and there’d be no heirloom at all.

So, for today and all the days ahead I pray that you will add to the value of your “someday an heirloom marriage” trusting the LORD for all the pieces… stitched with faith in Him… and treasuring your husband as a gift from the LORD.

Tip Time

♥ It’s Tip Time! ♥

These tips fall under the categories: I’m so glad I saved _____ ; and the category: Ooooo… saved myself a whole bunch of time and energy by planning for future needs! Yay!

Continually in the mindset of thinking efficiently, make a conscious effort to consider the needs of others–your husband, family, etc., etc. ♦ A kitchen log and/or a journal will help you put it down and out of your mind = eliminate worry. Pray the Lord will guide you as you plan, pray He will give you insight for what you need or what you will need.

♦ Planning for daily meals = eliminate mealtime shortfalls and stress; ♦ planning for events = more smoothly transitioning from whatever point a to be, etc.; ♦ planning for future needs/seasonal needs = not fearing for the snow for your household; and rainy days. Sorry, rainy days will come and you’ll necessarily face those with the Lord, on your knees and waiting on Him — maybe in tears, but as you set your days in His hands, you will find solace there.

So… tip time:

♦ Jar lids—-if a store-bought item has a flip lid and fits on a mason jar, save that lid! Consider, some plastic containers for parmesan cheese have flip-top lids that fit regular mason jars — Truvia jars, too… some salad dressings and some tomato/pasta sauce jars, too, just to name a few.

♦ Pumps for soaps/lotions/shampoo — some of these fit other bottles that you might want a pump for. Now, this is just friend to friend advice, as I’m sure there are purists who wouldn’t think of reusing a soap or conditioner pump for any food item–all the leeching etc., etc. = anathema! So, cover your ears and don’t listen to this. I use pumps or reuse pumps all the time———makes so many things easier! From the kitchen sink to the pantry to the bath! As an example, I use the pump from a (costco size) bottle of Pantene conditioner—thoroughly-thoroughly-thoroughly washed, soaked, rinsed, washed and rinsed again—for some bottles of oils I use in cooking. They fit perfectly and not a drop is wasted. I reuse pumps on bottles of shampoo, etc., and put them on bottles that didn’t originally come with a pump. Saves money from going down the drain in the family’s shower. Sometimes I use the pumps I’ve purchased for coffee syrups—I use them on the syrup bottle, but when the syrup’s gone, sometimes I use the bottle fitted with a pump for sauces, salad dressings, etc., etc. This has been simple for me since I was able to purchase a quantity of pumps for a low price. So, all this to say, if you purchase pumps or whatever other time/food-saver you purchase, be sure you save those items to reuse in the future.

♦ Flip lids to toothpaste or lotion or whatever—these are another saver! Flip lids from spice jars—some come without a flip lid/shaker and so I always save assorted jar lids that have a shaker/ flip top so I can replace the lid with the better/more effecient lid. Saving these sorts of lids, helps so much bcz there are so many uses for them. I save assorted sized bread ties and bags, too — along with other things that ♦ make food storage easier. Saving unique jars and bottles with lids is also a great way to plan for food storage — gallon jars with lids make organizing and storing foods in the pantry so much easier. You can also save bottles with lids for juice, syrups, gravy, salad dressings, etc., etc. In this way, you’ll be glad you planned ahead for future needs!! Instead of giant hodge-podge ~~mess~~ bin of “tupperware” or whatever-ware, you can reuse items your food came in in the first place and reuse them for other foods or left overs or whatever until the containers wear out. Or get lost. Or become a hodge-podge mess. Don’t be afraid to recycle. As in, throw away.

The big deal is that you continually learn (and re-tune/refine) to plan ahead and know when to be, and be determined to be, ♦ content with the amount of stash you have—too much and you’ll have oodles of chaos instead of contentment and all your planning will backfire as an unintended consequence. Too little planning and/or stash and you’ll have discontent and waste time and money over last-minute spending instead enjoying the contentment you originally longed for. ♦ Balance. That’s the big deal. Balance.

Love what you do.

teacuppamela You’ve likely heard the phrase: “Do what you love, love what you do.” Well… I got to thinking about that phrase sometime back and thought: one can’t always do that. And then I thought, maybe I feel like I can’t always do what I love [to do], but I can learn to love what I do (and change my whole outlook in the process). And so there was a turning point in my journey. One of many turning points. :o)

Lemme give you an example. Just this morning, I came into the kitchen planning to unload/reload my dishwasher (and to check out the horrific noise it makes when it’s running) and, upon opening the door, immediately coming to mind was the thought that this dishwasher smells bad. Smells awful, really. So I emptied the dishwasher and took out the racks. There was gummy-dirt in the crevices – what?!?!? This is a dishwasher — a stainless-steel interior that has multiple sprayers in it. How could the rack’s crevices be dirty? I took the racks out and put them in the bathtub and sprayed them down with cleaner. I proceeded back to the offending dishwasher and began to dismantle the sprayer and the spinner deal. I sprayed them with cleaner, too. I scrubbed the gasket… gunk was in the gasket of the hinged part of the door. Well, bleck. And then I thought…. and thought…. and it dawned on me that I could love to do just about any job — because it struck me, I’m not necessarily doing these things because I love to do them specifically — I do them because I love who I do them for — I love to have things be taken care of — not just for myself, but for my family, I love for my family to have their things properly cared for and I want my husband’s home to be a blessing to him. So, essentially, I do what I love and I love what I do.

Maybe a couple of you remember when I needed an attitude adjustment regarding laundry a few years ago (yes, it’s been that long). My husband asked me to just do it as a service to our family, not murmuring, not reminding them they were told to put the laundry in the hamper, not counting the numerous items — just cheerfully do the laundry. And from that moment, I have sought to do it that way. And I marvel at how a simple decision completely changes one’s outlook (and thinking!). You see, I decided that’s exactly what I’d do. And I did… and do. And I type this to the hum and the click, click, clicking of rivets and snaps whirling around in the dryer. I do a lot of laundry every day, so I get a lot of time to consider the decisions I make.

On any given day, I fetch things for others, pray and sing songs, I mend things, wash and iron, pray and carry sorrows, plant and dig up, listen and advise, fill cracks, pick up shatters, pray and dream dreams, clean up messes, make bigger ones and clean them all up again. I’m home. I do what I love and love what I do.

A few minutes ago, I looked up on the “white-board” to see a freshly written note: “We love our mom…. WLOM” And I thought: this is why I do what I love. This is why I love what I do.

Wherever you are: begin (again) there.

teacuppamela Now, this seems like such simplistic advice — it’s so obvious that it’s almost laughable. But when you stop and think about it, it’s true for lots of us that we cannot start fresh when we’re in the middle of something — or that because we’ve already messed up the beginning or have failed to accomplish the previous task, we’re sort of stuck into thinking we cannot just pick up and move on.

At the thrift store (or in my cabinet) I occasionally see notebooks or undated planners that have writing or notes in the first few pages. You know, like some mother had best intentions to start journaling or keeping a diary or baby-book or whatever and then “life” happened and entries didn’t continue. So, rather than just beginning (again) there — one of two things usually happens, the book is taken to the thrift store as a way of sort of gifting the problem book to someone else — that, or the previously written pages are torn out and the resolve to journal begins (again) there.

I know this because this has been my story in the past (actually I may do it again someday). But somewhere along the way I began to just write wherever I left off or in whatever journal/notebook was handy. I know this is a sort haphazard way of doing things and certainly messes up any semblance of order one might be seeking to achieve, but in the end, a written account is what’s desired and that’s what’s important. Get it written down and don’t get caught up so much in the process or presentation. Besides, the journaling is for your own mental sorting out and not for other’s opinions anyway.

So, wherever you are, begin (again) there. If you’ve got a notebook you first began using five years ago — and you filled only the first third of the book, it’s probably still got a lot of life left to it, so begin (again) there. Maybe you have a beautiful journal that you began using last year but quit on the 5th of January. Get it… start using it and begin (again) there. O, who cares if one year’s gone by. In the later pages you can sort out what went on in the interim. The point is that you can just begin (again) right where you are. Today.

Consider these verses from Philippians 3.8, 10,12-15

…that I may win Christ… That I may know him, and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being made conformable unto His death… Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus… Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you.

You see? wherever we are, we just need to begin (again) there. Here are some things I’ve been thinking about in this last week or so. No, I didn’t complete my Bible reading for the year (read through in a year). It’s only the enemy who seeks to put me in bondage, reminding me of my failure and relegating me to start back at the beginning (adding to my doubt that I might finish it this year). Instead, I need to just press on… I need to begin this year (again) right where I am. And should I finish reading through, I can begin again regardless what the calendar date is. And my beautiful journal? I can write in it today — regardless the date of the previous entry. You see, it’s just bondage — unnecessary bondage — to keep feeling like a failure or to keep giving up. Galatians 5.1 says:

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free,
and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.”

It’s early in the year and yet many are already feeling like failures for not keeping to “resolutions” or goals. Maybe you intended to lose those 20 or thirty pounds and you already feel like you’ve failed since you’ve continued in your holiday eating mode. Maybe you planned on getting up earlier, to start running, to stop being quickly angry, to keep your tasks done. And now, already, the fifth day of the year, you haven’t succeeded in achieving any of them and you feel like a failure. Be done with those feelings — they’re powerful and they paralyze — they’re not freeing at all — and you’ll never move ahead from where you are if you’re entangled by those failure-thoughts. Resolve that wherever you are today: begin (again) there. And tomorrow, wherever you are: begin (again) there.

The Twelve Days of Christmas

The Twelve Days of Christmas
by – Carroll Roberson

On the first day of Christmas Jesus gave to me: salvation full and free.

On the second day of Christmas Jesus gave to me: everlasting life, and salvation full and free.

On the third day of Christmas Jesus gave to me: Peace in my heart, everlasting life, and salvation full and free.

On the fourth day of Christmas Jesus gave to me: love for all men, Peace in my heart, everlasting life, and salvation full and free.

On the fifth day of Christmas Jesus gave to me: joy for my soul, love for all men, peace in my heart, everlasting life, and salvation full and free.

On the sixth day of Christmas Jesus gave to me; power from on high, joy for my soul, love for all men, peace in my heart, everlasting life, and salvation full and free.

On the seventh day of Christmas Jesus gave to me: a body glorified, power from on high, joy for my soul, love for all men, peace in my heart, everlasting life, and salvation full and free.

On the eighth day of Christmas Jesus gave to me: a robe and a crown, a body glorified, power from on high, joy for my soul, love for all men, peace in my heart, everlasting life, and salvation full and free.

On the ninth day of Christmas Jesus gave to me: mansions above, a robe and a crown, a body glorified, power from on high, joy for my soul, love for all men, peace in my heart, everlasting life, and salvation full and free.

On the tenth day of Christmas Jesus gave to me: streets of pure gold, mansions above, a robe and a crown, a body glorified, power from on high, joy for my soul, love for all men, peace in my heart, everlasting life, and salvation full and free.

On the eleventh day of Christmas Jesus gave to me: a thousand tongues to sing, streets of pure gold, mansions above, a robe and a crown, a body glorified, power from on high, joy for my soul, love for all men, peace in my heart, everlasting life, and salvation full and free.

On the twelfth day of Christmas Jesus gave to me: eternity to praise, a thousand tongues to sing, streets of pure gold, mansions above, a robe and a crown, a body glorified, power from on high, joy for my soul, love for all men, peace in my heart, everlasting life, and salvation full and free.

Habits

It’s sure hard to change habits, isn’t it?!?! Habits are so engrained in us that sometimes probably often times we think we’re never ever going to change — our flesh is selfish!! We often think maybe we just need more will power or more self control. Have you thought this, too? I sure have… I’ve thought that after all this time, I sure ought to be____________, or I sure ought to have done__________; but I’m not and/or I haven’t. I know I have desire, I have ability, I have resources… and then I think on “will-power” – you know, the depletable resource we try to keep going, trying to refuel until we realize we’ve run out of fuel? This may happen over an hour, a day or a week or longer. The thing that’s so hard is that shear “will-power” is short lived – it’s so easily depleted. It often seems that will-power is vapor… but for sure, it’s depletable.

de·plete/diˈplēt/

Use up the supply of; exhaust the abundance of.

Diminish in number or quantity.

Synonyms: exhaust – drain – empty – use up – evacuate

I’ve come to see that it’s actually a very good thing that “will-power” is short lived and so easily depleted. I sure see that it’s why I so often see my need of the Lord so significantly — if I could do all this stuff on my own, I would think I didn’t need Him. And because I’ve seen I cannot do all this stuff on my own: I *do* need Him. I shake my head wondering why I continually live like I don’t need Him… Like, I’ve got this, Lord, I’ll call on You if things get tough. Fact is, I don’t always call on Him *when* things get tough. And it’s never, ever a question of whether things will get tough or not — for, sure things will get tough.

So… I’m reading different things about repatterning behaviour – or, as one author says, overwriting a bad habit with new behaviour. The premise is that bad habits cannot be eliminated entirely but that they can be overwritten. By overwriting a bad habit, that bad habit is turned into a good pattern or a good routine. As an example, when a bad habit has overtaken a life, it isn’t generally something that will be easily changed/eliminated — so if there’s a desire to change that bad habit, it’s necessary to line up solutions or new patterns along with some sort of reward for sticking to the new pattern.

I’ve found it so hard to lose weight… or, actually, to lose weight and keep it off. It’s not a matter of will power when I’ve been able to accomplish the goal of weightloss, it’s a matter of fueling that depletable resource or setting up solutions for pitfalls. Continuing on with the consideration of weightloss as an example, I remove the trappings or pitfalls and I fill those spaces with healthful alternatives and activities. For example, I might have cut vegetables on the counter for snacking, cold fresh fruit in the fridge, cold lemon water in a pitcher. I have found that if I let myself compromise, the next compromises will come sooner and heavier than each before. A little phrase I’ve brought to mind over and over: Make no provision for the flesh… make right provision for the flesh. I take away or don’t go where my fleshly desires tend to wander and because I know where my flesh tends to wander, I make provision for such times.

This principle works on so many levels. From ways I’m spending my time, to computer use, to thought patterns, to responses, to scheduling… I need to continue repatterning… repatterning… repatterning. I need to do this over and over and over again until I overwrite bad habits (or when beginning new ones). Amazingly this repetition sincerely does become habit — part of the fabric of my life. As an aside, to be very candid, I feel so weary when I’ve recognized that I’ve wandered from the path that had become such a good pattern. When I fall… and fall back into that bad habit, thought pattern, etc., etc., I’ve learned that I must continually resort to the Lord, to the patterns He set before me. I recognize sooner, repent sooner and more quickly request and renew my strength in Him.

The most important thing for me to remember is that I must patiently hope in the Lord and not be discouraged when I don’t see overnight change in my life. I must see that day by day, in faith, He is changing me.

It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.
Lamentations 3.26
But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.
Romans 8.25

A Year Ago…

A year ago… it was cold. A year ago it was rainy and dark clouds loomed overhead when the drops weren’t falling. I thought Springtime would never come as I looked out the chilly windows. And though the willow tree had just begun to show signs of lacey spring-green leaves, it was hard to imagine the nearness of Springtime as I looked out at the leafless branches of the walnut, hazelnut, apple, pear and plum trees. Today’s much the same.

But as I mull this over, I have to also give thanks and praise to the LORD who only does all things well. I must praise Him for His order, for His creation, for His perfect timing and for His gracious provisions. For who could give such a scent to Hyacinth’s or beauty to Snowdrops & Crocuses? And though there are few signs of beauty in the rose garden, how loving of the LORD to create the dazzling beauty to the serene Daffodils and Jonquils. As I gaze out the windows and see them ringing the willow tree or in clusters in the rose garden, I cannot help but stop and thank the LORD for His majesty and grace. For who else could’ve created such loveliness? As the Daffodils look like teacups swaying in the breeze or bright yellow-faced smiling dancers — dancing before Him. And for me. Promises of brighter tomorrows.

So, a year ago I was listening to that song: Spring Time’s Coming… and listening to it again today reminded me of God’s great grace and mercy on us from that time to this. I remember writing specifically about this song that Wes played for me each morning as my “wake up music” _here_ and I have to smile today as I think back on one year ago and the Co-incident of the fulfillment of that song. Springtime indeed came and with also, “right before our eyes God had the sweetest surprise…”

A year ago I was sitting at the table and the UPS man came and brought a package — well, I wasn’t expecting anything so I thought maybe Wes had ordered something — but that, too, seemed odd bcz the very seasonal swimming pool business hadn’t really started for the year yet. So when I called Wes to ask him about the package, he asked who it was from and when I replied that it was from UPS, he said, “Open it, open it!” As I propped my phone between my ear and shoulder, I removed the outer wrapping to fine that the box contained a wrapped package. Again, “Open it, open it!” As I unwrapped the package, the pages I found on top began to detail a puzzling story… each page more confounding than the previous. A beautiful letter. Itinerary. Accommodations. A comprehensive guide book and car rental. “What?!?!” “Are you sure?!?!” Nearly speechless and rereading in stunned disbelief I wondered how could this possibly be?!? Fully and completely anonymous — how could they know that was our dream honeymoon plan that hadn’t ever been possible? How could they know the song? How could they…. but God?

Even now, one year later — knowing what I know now — I’m still rather in stunned disbelief over the glorious trip that package detailed and then was gratefully experienced for two weeks in Hawai’i. That God in His sweet mercy would have me hear a song for many weeks to the arrival of that package — right before my eyes… the sweetest surprise… all the new things He had planned to colour our world.

Through this year as we’ve fondly looked back on the sweetest days we’ve ever spent together, we’ve chuckled that we both would jump up at this very moment to go there again — but at the same time, we don’t really even hope for such a surprise as that again for the amazing gift surely seemed to be a once in a lifetime dream — a lovely dream — one we treasure and will never forget (with love and forever thanks to Aloha-for-reals).