Slices of Life – Page 4 – The Welcome Home

The Thing About Blogs

You know how you read that “lead in” sometimes? The thing about _______ is_______. Well, I’m seeing disclaimers or comments about bloggers and/or blogging more and more frequently.

So, I thought I’d write today a bit about blogging — or if I may be so bold, bloggers. It seems that every blogger, now and then, writes a post about why they blog or why they’re not blogging — apologizing for not doing so and explaining how life’s gotten in the way.

So, here’s mine. I blogged for a number of years — pretty much every day or so, early on. I, too, thought life got in the way of blogging when I wasn’t able to blog. I apologized for it from time to time. But last year, right about this time, a very sobering reality hit me over the head like a ton of rocks.

The reality was that blogging had gotten in the way of life — not the other way around. Blogging, reading, researching — reading, reading, reading — looking, looking, looking at stuff everywhere online got in the way of living. It got in the way of real learning and it got in the way of real loving. And so, today I can genuinely say: The thing about blogging is that it’s filled with unintended consequences.

From the beginning, I wanted to be a good blogger. I wanted to both inform and entertain, encourage and inspire. I still want those things. But I want them to be products of inspiration not compulsion. And so, when I blog, you’ll know it’s inspiration and not compulsion. Though I just might occasionally feel compelled to write something. ~wink~

Bloggers often feel a measure of guilt for not living up to a preconceived notion that blog writers have an obligation to produce something witty and informative every morning. There’s this unspoken expectation that bloggers be at once fascinating and creative while writing blogs that appeal to the masses. Every blogger soon discovers that one cannot possibly do that — at least not for more than a week.

Better blogs have enough personal anecdotes to fulfill readers’ desire for authenticity and personal identification — but enough generalization to assure anonymity of the blog subjects. People want to identify with or see themselves in blogs — so long as no one else does.

Then there’s the great skill of mixing reality and humility, a bit of sorrow, a bit of humour — with a bit of cheeky cynicism thrown in to add spice. In the end, all these are integral to a really good blog. Trouble is, most of us are too busy living to spend enough time blogging to be that good.

Internet Addiction

Just like an extra hot grandé mocha… the addiction starts a sip at a time. And you don’t even know it. You don’t even realize the cost — just like that steaming cup of coffee — it’s so smooth, so gradual – so available, so everywhere, so chíc. An isolated instance — not a big deal; not a great expense — not initially.

Sometimes when I hear the rumble of the caffé steamer I think of the early days of the internet connection tone — choooooooooooo, clang, clang, clang, clang – chooooooooooooooooo, click: Welcome, You’ve Got Mail!

Life’s going on – you think maybe everyone out there has a friend and you wish you had one, too. Everyone out there is doing something great and you wish you were, too. Everyone out there has people cheering them on, telling them the latest news, showing them the latest trends — everyone knows the latest stuff — everyone’s so awesome — well, everyone except: the lonely, living in a crowd, Mrs. All Alone.

O, sure, she had her husband, her Bible studies, her home — she had some friends, she had her family, she had a few hobbies, she had radio Bible programs and talkshows, she had cassettes and study books and Gentle Spirit magazine, but she still felt lonely — oftentimes pretty unimportant. She didn’t have a television or VCR – and almost never went to the theaters.

And then along came the computer — initially only used for business, she realized the great value and ease of using the computer for writing homeschool assignments or women’s retreat talks and keeping other “documents.”

And then… what’s this? What’s this new adventure? E-mail?!?!? Letters without paper, envelopes, stamps or days between writing and receiving mail!?!?! In the beginning, few of her friends indulged in the new method of communication. And if they did, in the early days e-mail notes were short – almost cryptic. Brevity was sort of the protocol. Rare and brief. Initially.

So, Mrs. All Alone began to explore the vast possibilities available to her at her fingertips! Voilà! She decided to look up “key words” that best described her life: She clicked Ask Jeeves. And instantly he answered with gusto! Here you go. Look at that: links to things she liked — though in those days there were relatively few websites for homemaking, Bible studies, Titus 2 & Proverbs 31 topics. Unbeknownst to Mrs. All Alone, she was embarking on a journey that would soon swallow her up. She didn’t even realize that, just like the one sip at a time Sbx addiction, one click at a time, she was sealing her fate.

Those were the days before Amazon or Wikipedia or Myspace or Facebook. Long before blogs (gasp!), Twitter and Skype — even before Gooooooooogle became a verb. Those were the days before Starbucks and espresso stands dotted every corner in Snohomish county. With the advent of internet bulletin boards, lists and groups, Mrs. All Alone could, with just a few clicks, instantly become: Mrs. You’ve got Friends! Friends all over the world. Just like that.

In a matter of minutes Mrs. All Alone has 10, 20, 650 girlfriends expressing the very things she’s been feeling, dealing with or experiencing as a stay-at-home mother of many – yet feeling unheard, unknown, unappreciated, unqualified, unremembered, unremarkable and sometimes unloved — all alone in the world.

She couldn’t wait to log into the computer! Each day, much to her amazed delight, her email (then: “e-mail”) inbox was flooded with letters from friends, sisters in the Lord — other mothers of many. Mrs. All Alone quickly became Mrs. Alone No-More. For now she had friends — understanding friends — likeminded friends. Hundreds of them — all over the world — women (and unfortunately men who posed as women – but that’s a story for another time) who shared common interests in faith, biblical studies, home and family, marriage and faith. Some actually became genuine friends.

Mrs. Alone No-More read all she could, wrote all she could, researched all she could — lost in time as she read and wrote articles and letters. She soon realized she might be able to help other women — by pointing them to a collection of many Good Things so they didn’t trip over the bad things on the Net. A new vocabulary: ” justa sec” and “justa minute” dotted her conversations in the kitchen. It was a great time of learning and application — but somewhere along the way it all got out of balance.

Many years passed. Though many good things were happening, just a few minutes here, just a few more minutes there, time was passing — seasons were passing. Going along, working alone… on studies, articles, news, letters, webpages, blogging etc. A new kind of alone… a distracted alone, a missing in action alone. Life was going on all around her, but so addicted to good things — so many good things — time was evaporating, years were passing — she didn’t even realize just how distracted she was.

And then came the day of reckoning.

(part two: The Day of Reckoning… later)

There’s a whole bunch to say…

And I’m trying to consider how I’ll succinctly say each day what I’d like to share with you. I began blogging some seven years ago and I like to write – I like to encourage and offer hope and inspiration to mothers at home. I love talking about marriage, motherhood, homemaking, homekeeping and walking with the Lord. I love to share slices of life and views of the day. I tend to get wordy at times. I tend to have strong opinions, etc., etc. If you’re offended by all this, please find other great blogs to read — there are too many great blogs out there for you waste your time here reading things that might perturb you.

So anyway, much time was spent writing and reviewing sites, gathering and posting articles, recommending sites and products. Good things… so many good things. But somewhere along the way I lost my way – I lost my personal vision and huge responsibility first as the mother of many children and I began to coast — but I didn’t even realize it. I didn’t realize I’d wandered a bit from my first calling: my husband, our home, my walk, leading our children by allowing my time and attention to be gobbled up by computer, website and internet time… trivial pursuits by comparison to the very real responsibilities of my life. You know what I mean perhaps – for perhaps you’ve had your own!!

Pursuing good things is truly the enemy of pursuing best things.

Good things are not always the best things.

Doing good does not necessarily mean you’re doing well.
Or right.

We had a great family sorrow — a sudden and sad crisis, if you will, which led to deep introspection, endless conversations and much personal evaluation (and reevaluation), personal examination (and reexamination). In the end, one of the things I knew I had to do was to hand over my computer to my husband for a time so that I could get my priorities straight — so that I could reorganize my life, my priorities and revisit / rekindle the purposes for which the Lord created me.

So, here I am today… so wishing I could tell you all I’ve come to understand in the last several months, the culmination of all the sweet hours in the Word, in writing and in fellowship with the LORD — the things I’ve learned, the things I regret, the sorrow, the joy, the pain, the rejoicing. And for one thing, more than ever, I realize why, 11 years ago, we chose a web name: welcome home.

If you’re just joining me and know nothing of what I’m talking about or even if you’ve been a reader for some time, I pray to be an encouragement to you, to not waste your time, but to point you to the Saviour. In the course of my writing, I hope you’ll see Jesus in spite of this cracked pot. I hope you’ll see glimpses of His hand in daily living. Whether or not you’re a new reader of my blog or A Christian Home website, I just want to say: welcome home.