Tag: Slices of Life

A Year Ago…

A year ago… it was cold.  A year ago it was rainy and dark clouds loomed overhead when the drops weren’t falling.  I thought Springtime would never come as I looked out the chilly windows.  And though the willow tree had just begun to show signs of lacey spring-green leaves, it was hard to imagine the nearness of Springtime as I looked out at the leafless branches of the walnut, hazelnut, apple, pear and plum trees.    Today’s much the same.

But as I mull this over, I have to also give thanks and praise to the LORD who only does all things well.  I must praise Him for His order, for His creation, for His perfect timing and for His gracious provisions.   For who could give such a scent to Hyacinth’s or beauty to Snowdrops & Crocuses?  And though there are few signs of beauty in the rose garden, how loving of the LORD to create the dazzling beauty to the serene Daffodils and Jonquils.  As I gaze out the windows and see them ringing the willow tree or in clusters in the rose garden, I cannot help but stop and thank the LORD for His majesty and grace.  For who else could’ve created such loveliness?  As the Daffodils look like teacups swaying in the breeze or bright yellow-faced smiling dancers — dancing before Him.  And for me.  Promises of brighter tomorrows.

So, a year ago I was listening to that song: Spring Time’s Coming… and listening to it again today reminded me of God’s great grace and mercy on us from that time to this.  I remember writing specifically about this song that Wes played for me each morning as my “wake up music” _here_ and I have to smile today as I think back on one year ago and the Co-incident of the fulfillment of that song.  Springtime indeed came and with also, “right before our eyes God had the sweetest surprise…”

A year ago I was sitting at the table and the UPS man came and brought a package — well, I wasn’t expecting anything so I thought maybe Wes had ordered something — but that, too, seemed odd bcz the very seasonal swimming pool business hadn’t really started for the year yet.  So when I called Wes to ask him about the package, he asked who it was from and when I replied that it was from UPS, he said, “Open it, open it!”  As I propped my phone between my ear and shoulder, I removed the outer wrapping to fine that the box contained a wrapped package.  Again, “Open it, open it!”  As I unwrapped the package, the pages I found on top began to detail a puzzling story… each page more confounding than the previous.  A beautiful letter.  Itinerary.  Accommodations.  A comprehensive guide book and car rental.  “What?!?!”  “Are you sure?!?!”  Nearly speechless and rereading in stunned disbelief I wondered how could this possibly be?!?    Fully and completely anonymous — how could they know that was our dream honeymoon plan that hadn’t ever been possible?   How could they know the song?  How could they…. but God?

Even now, one year later — knowing what I know now — I’m still rather in stunned disbelief over the glorious trip that package detailed and then was gratefully experienced for two weeks in Hawai’i.  That God in His sweet mercy would have me hear a song for many weeks to the arrival of that package — right before my eyes… the sweetest surprise… all the new things He had planned to colour our world.

Through this year as we’ve fondly looked back on the sweetest days we’ve ever spent together, we’ve chuckled that we both would jump up at this very moment to go there again  — but at the same time, we don’t really even hope for such a surprise as that again for the amazing gift surely seemed to be a once in a lifetime dream — a lovely dream  — one we treasure and will never forget (with love and forever thanks to Aloha-for-reals).

Life’s Threads

Through the years we gather and carry with us so many experiences and acquaintances.  All of these are mingled among the successes and failures in the different testings and affirmations of faith.  I marvel: the handiwork of the Lord;  I marvel that He never misses a thread.  Things I think are wasted, things long forgotten, prayers and petitions, praises and disappointments… God’s still holding all the threads of these things.

Time passes and memories fade — and then, seemingly by chance, an old friendship is rekindled, a memory is brought to mind, a photograph sparks thoughts of an event rarely remembered.  But God remembers… His memory never dims and He’s not constrained by time or recollection.  The threads, unseen or unknown to us, continue to be woven by His gracious and skilled Hands.

I’m reminded to not think He’s forgotten or that life’s experiences have little meaning.  I’m reminded that all my yesterdays have tomorrows.  The seeds sown in years past may seem to by lying dead in fallow ground… but in time I will see what became of those seeds — some carelessly, some intentionally planted in different seasons of my life.

A long distance phone conversation with a friend last week seems to have opened a floodgate of memories that leave me longing for the early years, smiling at the thought of the babies — now men and women — with babies of their own.    And then, another surprise, a phone call and plans to spend some extended time together with dear old friends.  Surely we’ll be reminiscing and talking over days gone by when we meet — I can hardly contain my excitement!  Were that not enough, and surely not by chance, another old friend posted a couple of photos on Facebook… ah, the endearing faces,  photos of little boys — now men — our first two sons.  This led to my husband (who very rarely ever even logs on to Facebook) posting some photos of babies and little children… old photos!  Threads of connection… bringing life circles around again.

The threads of photos and conversations seem to connect us to our past like nothing else — these are the good threads — the sweet threads. How sweet to think the Lord is holding all these threads together, that not a time is wasted or lost — even though we don’t keep tract of or keep tying threads.

Compare-a-titus

If you’ve been a mom for any length of time and you’ve spent time in and about homeschooling circles, Bible studies, workshops, conventions, courtship talks, retreats, blogs in the last 3 years or so… etc., etc., you’ve no doubt heard, or been part of, conversations that left you with a case of comparatitus.  All those Titus2 groups… you may lament and despair.   Comparatitus happens — no matter your age, no matter your income, no matter your experience and, really, no matter your skills and abilities.  Comparatitus happens.

Some time back, a group of sisters were gathered and there was some back and forth lamenting the various skills and abilities one or another lacked.   The conversations meandered into areas of homemaking… babies… schooling… child-training.  I noticed one of the women not saying all that much — but her eyes conveyed a tender message and her tears, despair.  I observed that day and understood from that moment something I’ve never forgotten and that is when a group of sisters is sharing, there is (among *many* +/- things) a great potential comparing —  potential for discontent and for envy.  Comparatitus.  O, how we must face this and determine to nip it in the bud.

When we stand next to and compare ourselves with anyone we’ll likely fall into one of two categories and, perhaps, a third will follow.  We’ll either feel inept, inferior and sorely lacking whatever it is we think she has (self-pity), or we’ll feel superior, better-than, or self-confident (pride).  A third category we might fall into might take on many forms — but will stem from what I’m calling Compartitus.   We compare ourselves to a Titus woman = comparatitus.  We might say, O, I don’t do thus and such, I never accomplish this or that, I’m not able to do thus, I don’t have these or those, I don’t have x number of children, I have x number of children, since I don’t have x number of children I must not be_____, since she has x number of children, she must be________.

The conversations (mental or actual) may continue on… I wish I could have_____, then I’d be able to______, but since my______ doesn’t or won’t______, I can never be______or have______.  Like you.

Comparatitus can then get pretty heavy and… watch out now…

O, she thinks she’s so______, I mean, just look at what she_____. She always ____. I’ll never be as____ or ____.  I mean, because she____ and I’ve never  had the_____ and I cannot____ like she does.  And, besides, I only have____  ____, so I________, unlike her, because she has_______ and she always_____  and________. So, I can’t ever be _______ like her.

Comparatitus.

Comparing ourselves to an ideal… to another sister who seems to have it all together, who seems to always get the right stuff, say the right things, have the right friends, yada, yada, yada.  It’s such a dangerous spiral to get caught up in that thinking and in that talk.

Truth is, we’re not to compare ourselves to others — God didn’t create us to be someone else — He created us to be ourselves growing in grace to be like Jesus — for His glory.  When we compare and despair, we are rejecting God’s marvelous design *and* His provision for us.  When we compare and despair, we invite the enemy in to mock God (and our thoughts and actions determine how long he’ll stay and how much ground we’ll give the enemy).  We gasp and think, O, I didn’t mean to do that!  Really, none of us want to be found in that camp — surely.  That’s why we must not covet — we must be content with such things as we have. (Hebrews 13.5)

Comparatitus is dangerous… and unless we determine daily to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, we’ll succumb to it.  Maybe in a big way.

Titus 2 tells us boldly and plainly what we are (as Christian sisters) to do or to learn to do.  But, above all, we must be about the business of daily yielding our hearts to God, daily following Him and trusting in the promises of His Word — not comparing ourselves to others — but simply living in obedience to Him and His calling on our lives.  And He has individually called us — each one!  This is good news!  This is marvelous!

The cure for comparatitus is faith and trust: seeking to know and please the Lord.  We read in 2Timothy 2.15  “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”

Be done with that lesser thing!  Be done with comparatitus. (And, have a cheerful day)

May you always be blessed.

 

Christmas Letters

I love receiving Christmas letters each year — I read them — some, many times. I read them to the family and take the enclosed photos and hang them on our kitchen cabinet doors.  I love the letters for so many reasons — maybe for as many different reasons as the number of letters received each year.

I often wonder how many drafts some writers attempted before the resulting letter was complete.  I say this because I attempted to write our Christmas letter no less than a dozen times this year.  Each draft wordier (no surprise there!) than the previous — then I’d write a rather perfunctory letter — and it sounded like it. Then I wrote intending to add photo highlights. But then I thought of all the things I wouldn’t have space to include.  After each sort of attempt — some, far along in the process:  I think, no… no, that’s not it.  Click: Ctrl A.   Click: Delete.  Computer lid: click.   Lights out: click.

Maybe tomorrow, I’d ponder as I drifted off to sleep… maybe tomorrow… maybe tomorrow I will write in such a manner as to concisely convey,  in less than a thousand words,  the story of a year in the life of a family.  All I could see was the hand of the Lord over two extremely thankful parents in rocking chairs: observing the marvelous lives of nine very busy adult children living at home and more beyond.

And so, more treasured letters and cards have arrived… more beautiful photos are on the cabinet doors… more tears of joy have been shed for the changes and blessings and losses and accomplishments the Lord has given family and friends.  Melancholy tears of joy… and the passage of time.

The Christmas letter is finished.  It’s even been printed.  And it’s incomplete to convey all the things I wish I could’ve written, because there’s so much more the Lord has done and taught us this past year than time or space allowed.  But… I’m glad we have something to send and a photo to put with it.  I’m really grateful it mattered enough to enough of our family here to push to do what I know I’ll be glad we did.

♥

Acronyms

I was wondering about the origin of the word, Acronym.  And then got to thinking about different acronyms I regularly read.  A few, I couldn’t remember the actual meaning — I see some of them every day, but for the life of me, I cannot remember what they stand for.   In case you are also wondering: if you want to find acronyms and abbreviations you can look here.

This, from Dictionary.Reference.com:  Acronym: “1943 coinage from acro-, comb. form of Gk. akros “tip, end” (see acrid) + Eng. -onym “name” (abstracted from homonym; see name). The practice was non-existent before 20c. except in cabalistic esoterica and acrostic poetry.”

An acronym is: A Clever Reduction Of Names You Memorize — try it yourself. :o)

So, what does this have to do with anything?  Actually, I was folding some laundry and saw the word: woW inside a pair… and I began to laugh.  I thought of different acronyms for: woW.   You’re probably thinking I spend too much time folding laundry and have gone over the edge.  As I turned them over, I saw that it’s not woW, it’s: Mom.  Then thought about the word: Mom.   And then…

I went to fix a cup of tea.

Happy day to you: Women Ofthe Word!
And, blessings to you: Mothers Of Many: who Make Our Memories, Mold Our Minds, Make Our Meals and Mind Our Manners, Minimize Our Mistakes and ‘Muse Other Mothers. ♥

a page of a letter

I’ve sure been thinking of the serendipity of finding the pages of that letter in the old desk — I shared about yesterday.  In addition to the great wisdom and blessing of the words of these two pages, the fact that they are only part of a longer letter is fascinating to me — fascinating and wonderful.  You know, another wonderful aspect to all this is that it sure blesses me and encourages me further regarding the integrity and depth of grandma’s character — that, and the quality of friends she had.

So, here’s a bit more from the letter.

…the saints are the tallest people on earth.  They have their feet on the ground but they have their heads in the heavenlies in Christ Jesus.  They have the touch of Eternity.”

Don’t settle into the words of a beautiful song of salvation and lost the music in your life, it’s the attraction to the Gospel.”

God does not think as we do about success and failure.  He measures it in the criteria of obedience, devotion, faithfulness and love.  He isn’t impresses by status, showmanship or parades of piety.  1 Cor. 3.6 St. Paul declared, “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase.  Too often our attention is drawn to the planting and watering. More important is the gracious, thirsty crops revived. [this is where I began the quoting of excerpts of this letter in the previous post.]

O, I pray something I leave behind will bring as much joy, blessing and encouragement as what I’ve found in these two pages of an old letter — I’m sort of glad there’s no indication of who wrote it or when it was written. ♥

pages of a letter; for such a time as this.

This has been a most interesting year.   I wonder what I’ll think when I look back on this year — in years to come.  I wonder if the rough edges will seem smooth later on and I wonder if the smooth days will be remembered with even more fondness.  Hmmm.  It’s interesting to think of all this.    As I looked back at the very few posts over the last several months, I noticed I’ve been sort of stuck in a recurring theme: journaling, remembering, recording…  messages that will be left behind.

Tonight, cleaning in one of the bedrooms upstairs, the drawers of a very old desk were removed and papers were retrieved that had slipped behind the drawers and were stuck in the back of the old desk — obviously there for a very long time.  Envelopes, lists, a program and two pages of a letter.  I read some as I walked downstairs to my desk.  Here I have, left behind: a couple of random pages of a letter, a beautifully hand written letter.  Now, a little while later, I find myself wondering if the Lord had those loose pages stuck in there — tucked away — for just such a time as this?

I honestly believe that finding those pages was a little gift the Lord had tucked away for me — a sort of affirmation, encouragement and inspiration to press on here — to share different things He is doing, to offer ideas, hope and some encouragement along the way.

Whoever wrote this letter surely knew and loved the Lord.  O, not a casual love — nor a simple, intellectual understanding, but a deep abiding love.  What a gift that life must’ve been and surely is to me tonight.  I wonder, was it a letter to grandma?  Was it a letter from her?  No name — not even the complete letter — just a couple of pages of what must have been a lengthy letter.  I’ll share a few of the lines tonight and perhaps a few more tomorrow, you’ll see just how sweet it is to have sweet, lovingly written, encouraging words tucked away just for, yes: such a time as this.

Have you been thru a dry arid season in your spiritual growth? Is it hard to pray? Does the Bible have a dim meaning?  Dos it cease to feed you spiritually? How about the creepy crawlies of criticism the serpent of temptation that has defeated you and robbed you of the spiritual fruit of love, joy, peace and other delectable fruits of the Spirit?  There’s help for us.

I have been through a season of dryness where it was almost impossible to pray.  The heavens seemed to be brass and one thing after another happened to me until I felt forsaken, drifting in the doldrums going nowhere.  Then I was reminded of a statement:  When you’re in the doldrums and not a breath is stirring, do you sit in your little boat and allow it to remain in the hot sun and shrivel you?  No, a thousand times no.  Grab the oar of faith and the other oar of obedience and row for dear life out of there…”

Next time, I’ll share more of this letter – literally, a slice of life.

 

What if today was your last?

What if you knew today was the last day you’d be alive. What would you do — or how would you spend this day? It seems that most of the time people think of what’s on their “bucket list” — you know, the list of stuff people want to do before they die. I don’t know why the thought of death triggers an urgency to get out the bucket list to see what could be done. But I was thinking that, in reality, the bucket list is a pretty self-serving deal and pretty much adds nothing to the lives left behind.

I wrote the above and a few more lines for my Welcome Home page on Facebook this morning.  I’ve thought about it throughout the day as I’ve worked in and around our home.  I thought about it as I drove into town on an errand.  What if today was my last day to…

My thoughts drifted into different areas of life.  I thought of the different people in my life — my husband, my children, my parents, all the extended family, my church family and friends… I thought of all the intersecting circles of acquaintances and wondered what I’d do if I really knew today was my last day to see them, to talk to them, to thank them, to bless them… what if I never have another opportunity to see them again?

I think I’ll start a new journal — a thankfulness journal or a gratefulness journal or a gladness journal.  I don’t know what I’ll eventually call it, but I will start to write one and the title will come to me, I’m sure.  Maybe I’ll call it the blessing book.  Yes, that would be a perfect name — bcz I want to write all the blessings I can remember.  O, I’ve done this through the years in all my journals: recording whatever blessing is happening at the time — but I’ve never written a book of blessings — everything in one place.  It would be a perfect book to write bcz I also want to write down the things I want to give people — in terms of blessings.  I want to record the blessings I pray the Lord will work in specific individual’s lives.   So, it’ll be a book of what’s been done for me, what I’ve seen done for others and what I pray the Lord will work in people’s lives.

As an example, I will write the blessings of marriage — and then, specifically, my marriage to my husband.  Not just the wedding, but what God has done through the years bcz of this blessing.  I pray our children — each one — will know the blessing of marriage.  I pray our daughters will know the blessings of motherhood and I pray our sons will know the blessings of fatherhood.   I will write the different faith-builders — the valleys, the mountaintops and pray the Lord will do so in their lives as well.

If this were the last day I could live on the earth, I’d want to be careful to express my gratitude — I hope I wouldn’t want to see one more sunset, eat one more this or that thing, experience one more major accomplishment.   I hope I’d remember to tell each one of my children some specific way they’ve blessed me and how I pray for different and specific things for each of them.  I hope I’d remember to say important things instead of wanting to linger to accomplish more things.

If this were the last day I could live on this earth, I’d want it to be a profitable day for the memories of the people I love.  I wouldn’t want them to remember: On mama’s last day, she checked off another item on her bucket list.  No.  I’d want them to remember an encouraging word, a prayer, a joyful memory, a word of inspiration, a kiss of thanks.

I’d want my last day to be a blessing – so that when it was over, a fragrance would linger.

Vision

A dear friend recently wrote a letter regarding losing vision and had several thoughts regarding the danger of lacking vision, and the importance of having vision or purpose.  I’ve mulled that over.  And over.  I empathized and I actually sort of felt sick at the thought, the tragic thought of losing vision.

And then it struck me (but it wasn’t the first time) that I’ve lost vision.  If you’ve never “lost vision” before, then it’s probably hard to understand how someone could go along, have a great track to run on and then suddenly lose vision.  But it happens.  And if it’s happened to you, you understand. You totally understand.

I started losing vision a long time ago.  For some things — not for everything, for some things.
I got off track — or was rolling down what I see now was a sort of parallel track — thought I was going along fine.  But a parallel track that’s off by 1 degree soon is off by a gaping distance.  In the beginning it’s not so noticeable.  And, maybe for quite a while it’s not so noticeable… but down the way a bit — it’s very noticeable.  Usually to everyone except the one who’s in the car on the now-not-so-parallel track.

I’ve been very tempted to stop writing.  You know… listening to enemy’s voice: why do you write, you don’t have anything to say, you’re worthless, you don’t have any wise words and on and on.  I was tempted to stop accepting invitations to share with women in different venues.  And I did — I did stop altogether.  For a time.  And then I thought: wait a minute — everything I believed I still believe. Everything that was previously important is still important. I may have made a mess out of a lot of things.  I should have done so many things differently.  But I didn’t — and time went by. I’m thankful for the Lord’s great blessing of encouragement and re-creation!  By His grace, many — if not most — of the trials that I thought I’d never pass through have been redeemed and used for my good and His glory.  I wait on Him for finish the work He’s begun — for I know that I know He will complete the work.

Some of my experiences may seem like failures, or circumstances may have changed, but the Truths I stand on, the Truths that guide and inspire me have not changed.   I was tempted — have been tempted many, many times to drop commitments, drop the website, drop this blog, drop other writing projects and move on.  The website’s antiquated.  This blog’s out of date.  The many writing projects are unfinished.  The vision for all these things seemed lost.

The best thing about space and time is that perspective is gained in the passage of time and vision is gained from distance to an object.  For both, clarity is a great blessing.  My indecision has turned out to be a blessing  — I don’t really want to dump the website — it took twelve years to build — it can be redone, it can be redeemed.  And I don’t want to quit writing — I love to write.  I’ve been redeemed.  The Lord has given me a great opportunity. And I really don’t want to miss opportunities to share messages with sisters in the Lord — because He has given me so much.  He has turned my messes into messages.

So, now…
Some of the messages have become messes.
Some of the messes have become messages.

And thinking on this has given me a new vision.  The messages that have become messes?  I’ve decided not to just dismiss them entirely for they are part of who I am and where I’ve been, but I hope to turn them, by the grace of God, back in the messages.

So, now…
My new vision is to clean up some of the messes, give them new meaning.  Share some of the messages that have come from the messes and, again, by the grace of God, be a vessel He can use.  I might add, I’m sure thankful for the husband the Lord gave me — why the Lord blessed me so, I will never know but I’ll be forever grateful!  His insight, his perspective is a gift.  I know, we women tend to see things as all or nothing sometimes — and it takes a wise husband to point out the anchor is still holding… that the ship may be tossing or listing to one side or the other — but the Anchor holds.  The Anchor holds.

Only God can:
turn a MESS into a MESSAGE;
a TEST into a TESTIMONY;
a TRIAL into a TRIUMPH;
a VICTIM into a VICTORY.