Slices of Life – Page 5 – The Welcome Home

April Fool’s Day

Well, I’m thinking that no April Fool’s Day would be complete without first agreeing with the Psalmist:

The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.”

And then, including an admonishment from the Proverbs:
He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” –13.20

April Fool’s Day has long been a day of silly tricks and pranks at our house — the one day a year that shenanigans can be played and everyone’s on the lookout for what they might find next.

Early on we had to make some “house-rules” for this day so that no one would get hurt, waste food, break anything or cause anything to break. You know, those unintended consequences of “fun.” It’s almost always those unintended consequences that get us, don’t they?! Those things that come back to nip our heels or pay us back when we least expect.

So, we made rules early on — and with three sets of boys, plus one, we’ve had quite a host of hilarious AprilFool’s Day pranks. As I shared on my Facebook page, the first son still holds the records for ingenuity! He seemed to pull out all the stops when it came to creatively playing jokes — but, amazingly, they were always within the established boundaries — and very funny.

The boundaries were set early on when someone put salt in the sugar and sugar in the salt. One trade wasn’t so bad — the other was. Another time, when one put green food colouring in the milk, no one would drink it — so, that’s when we decided: pranks could not wreck/waste food.

Another time, one took all the hinges off the doors… no one ever got hurt, but with so many littles at the time, we thought perhaps someone could get hurt, so: no dangerous tricks. They were careful, from then on, to do creative and clever tricks.

So, I’ll tell you about one such AprilFool’s Day… quite some time ago. I should have known there was going to be a whole lot of surprising when I walked down the hall to see that everything from the living room (except the piano) was stacked in the kitchen — a room that was not all that large! How he moved everything in there, I still marvel. And, I mean: everything. I honestly laughed so hard… seeing just the kitchen table and chairs in the middle of the living room.

Okay, one more. Another AprilFool’s Day… again, I knew I was in for a real fun time when I opened my bedroom door and the other two bedroom doors shut! And, as I walked down the hall I noticed the living room lamp was off, so I switched on the light – still no lamp-light. I looked around the table to see that the cord was unplugged – so I plugged in the lamp using the cord that looked to me as if it had simply fallen out of the socket. Well, that cord was attached to a “boombox” that was situated under the table. Omy – what a shock when that music was blaring!! I couldn’t unplug that cord fast enough!! :o) Then, I went into the kitchen to fix breakfast — where discovered that the faucet didn’t work, so I opened the doors to reach under and turn on the water… only to see the wall phone had been placed under the sink with a note taped to it: “Time to call the plumber! the note read. Well, when I did finally get the water turned on, it was a shocking experience — for the sprayer had been taped down and sprayed water straight out into the kitchen. I was laughing so hard I couldn’t instantly turn off the water. We all laughed and laughed. I think that little sprayer trick was played many times that day.

And that same sprayer trick was played here in the kitchen today by children who weren’t even alive in the time of the above stories.

It’s funny how life goes… it sort of repeats and repeats itself. Or so it seems, sometimes.

They’re not the only ones to play a few tricks. Stretch-tite plastic wrap stretched evenly over the toilet bowl is virtually undetected. At first. The first time I ever did that was a very long time ago when I was working as a cook for a Christian school & daycare… and the men’s bathroom was where the toiletbowl wrapping happened. When the pastor of that large church came into the lunchroom… I was told he was laughing as he shared with some of the other employees about the AprilFool’s prank. I remained very busy cooking. I don’t know if I will ever meet him again, but if I do, I’ll apologize. ;o)

The Thing About Blogs

You know how you read that “lead in” sometimes? The thing about _______ is_______. Well, I’m seeing disclaimers or comments about bloggers and/or blogging more and more frequently.

So, I thought I’d write today a bit about blogging — or if I may be so bold, bloggers. It seems that every blogger, now and then, writes a post about why they blog or why they’re not blogging — apologizing for not doing so and explaining how life’s gotten in the way.

So, here’s mine. I blogged for a number of years — pretty much every day or so, early on. I, too, thought life got in the way of blogging when I wasn’t able to blog. I apologized for it from time to time. But last year, right about this time, a very sobering reality hit me over the head like a ton of rocks.

The reality was that blogging had gotten in the way of life — not the other way around. Blogging, reading, researching — reading, reading, reading — looking, looking, looking at stuff everywhere online got in the way of living. It got in the way of real learning and it got in the way of real loving. And so, today I can genuinely say: The thing about blogging is that it’s filled with unintended consequences.

From the beginning, I wanted to be a good blogger. I wanted to both inform and entertain, encourage and inspire. I still want those things. But I want them to be products of inspiration not compulsion. And so, when I blog, you’ll know it’s inspiration and not compulsion. Though I just might occasionally feel compelled to write something. ~wink~

Bloggers often feel a measure of guilt for not living up to a preconceived notion that blog writers have an obligation to produce something witty and informative every morning. There’s this unspoken expectation that bloggers be at once fascinating and creative while writing blogs that appeal to the masses. Every blogger soon discovers that one cannot possibly do that — at least not for more than a week.

Better blogs have enough personal anecdotes to fulfill readers’ desire for authenticity and personal identification — but enough generalization to assure anonymity of the blog subjects. People want to identify with or see themselves in blogs — so long as no one else does.

Then there’s the great skill of mixing reality and humility, a bit of sorrow, a bit of humour — with a bit of cheeky cynicism thrown in to add spice. In the end, all these are integral to a really good blog. Trouble is, most of us are too busy living to spend enough time blogging to be that good.

Internet Addiction

Just like an extra hot grandé mocha… the addiction starts a sip at a time. And you don’t even know it. You don’t even realize the cost — just like that steaming cup of coffee — it’s so smooth, so gradual – so available, so everywhere, so chíc. An isolated instance — not a big deal; not a great expense — not initially.

Sometimes when I hear the rumble of the caffé steamer I think of the early days of the internet connection tone — choooooooooooo, clang, clang, clang, clang – chooooooooooooooooo, click: Welcome, You’ve Got Mail!

Life’s going on – you think maybe everyone out there has a friend and you wish you had one, too. Everyone out there is doing something great and you wish you were, too. Everyone out there has people cheering them on, telling them the latest news, showing them the latest trends — everyone knows the latest stuff — everyone’s so awesome — well, everyone except: the lonely, living in a crowd, Mrs. All Alone.

O, sure, she had her husband, her Bible studies, her home — she had some friends, she had her family, she had a few hobbies, she had radio Bible programs and talkshows, she had cassettes and study books and Gentle Spirit magazine, but she still felt lonely — oftentimes pretty unimportant. She didn’t have a television or VCR – and almost never went to the theaters.

And then along came the computer — initially only used for business, she realized the great value and ease of using the computer for writing homeschool assignments or women’s retreat talks and keeping other “documents.”

And then… what’s this? What’s this new adventure? E-mail?!?!? Letters without paper, envelopes, stamps or days between writing and receiving mail!?!?! In the beginning, few of her friends indulged in the new method of communication. And if they did, in the early days e-mail notes were short – almost cryptic. Brevity was sort of the protocol. Rare and brief. Initially.

So, Mrs. All Alone began to explore the vast possibilities available to her at her fingertips! Voilà! She decided to look up “key words” that best described her life: She clicked Ask Jeeves. And instantly he answered with gusto! Here you go. Look at that: links to things she liked — though in those days there were relatively few websites for homemaking, Bible studies, Titus 2 & Proverbs 31 topics. Unbeknownst to Mrs. All Alone, she was embarking on a journey that would soon swallow her up. She didn’t even realize that, just like the one sip at a time Sbx addiction, one click at a time, she was sealing her fate.

Those were the days before Amazon or Wikipedia or Myspace or Facebook. Long before blogs (gasp!), Twitter and Skype — even before Gooooooooogle became a verb. Those were the days before Starbucks and espresso stands dotted every corner in Snohomish county. With the advent of internet bulletin boards, lists and groups, Mrs. All Alone could, with just a few clicks, instantly become: Mrs. You’ve got Friends! Friends all over the world. Just like that.

In a matter of minutes Mrs. All Alone has 10, 20, 650 girlfriends expressing the very things she’s been feeling, dealing with or experiencing as a stay-at-home mother of many – yet feeling unheard, unknown, unappreciated, unqualified, unremembered, unremarkable and sometimes unloved — all alone in the world.

She couldn’t wait to log into the computer! Each day, much to her amazed delight, her email (then: “e-mail”) inbox was flooded with letters from friends, sisters in the Lord — other mothers of many. Mrs. All Alone quickly became Mrs. Alone No-More. For now she had friends — understanding friends — likeminded friends. Hundreds of them — all over the world — women (and unfortunately men who posed as women – but that’s a story for another time) who shared common interests in faith, biblical studies, home and family, marriage and faith. Some actually became genuine friends.

Mrs. Alone No-More read all she could, wrote all she could, researched all she could — lost in time as she read and wrote articles and letters. She soon realized she might be able to help other women — by pointing them to a collection of many Good Things so they didn’t trip over the bad things on the Net. A new vocabulary: ” justa sec” and “justa minute” dotted her conversations in the kitchen. It was a great time of learning and application — but somewhere along the way it all got out of balance.

Many years passed. Though many good things were happening, just a few minutes here, just a few more minutes there, time was passing — seasons were passing. Going along, working alone… on studies, articles, news, letters, webpages, blogging etc. A new kind of alone… a distracted alone, a missing in action alone. Life was going on all around her, but so addicted to good things — so many good things — time was evaporating, years were passing — she didn’t even realize just how distracted she was.

And then came the day of reckoning.

(part two: The Day of Reckoning… later)

internet junkie

There have been times when I imagined that one day I’d be sitting in a circle waiting for my turn to introduce myself and then when the person beside me finished their introduction and small talk, they’d glance at me, signaling my turn, and then I’d say: I don’t know why I’m here or how I got to this point, but here I am. So, hello, I’m pamela and I’m an internet junkie.

I used to say (and laugh about it) that one day there’s going to be a branch of medicine dedicated to the emotional problems, effects and disorders associated with computer abuse use and result of internet addiction. I used to think it was isolation that would be a great problem — but now, that’s not what I think to be the great problem. Now I think it’s distraction. Distraction from what’s really going on. Distraction from what’s being said, directions being given, loved being shared — but missed bcz the computer is an attention siphon. The computer (or, ahem, handheld whatever’s) and the internet are erasers of time. Erasers of special events and conversations. They’re what obscure those moments you don’t even know you’re missing. Until later. The internet took the place of some days, months or years you will never see again. I know this is true… grievous as it was to me to see and admit.

I must say that it’s been hard to think of resuming writing regularly bcz I fret I’ll fail or revert back to old habits of distraction and ‘internet addition’ that contributed to the darkness of the valley earlier this year. As I’ve told you before, I didn’t realize just how distracted I’d become or how wrapped up in my projects I was each day. So, I’ve had to be exceedingly careful not to slip back into old patterns.

If you’ve never been an internet junkie, then you have no idea what I’m talking about. But if you have, or are, you know exactly what I’m talking about and you have or had the same trouble I have had.

And if you are on the net all day or many hours a day and neglect important things to attend to lesser things and you don’t think you are addicted to the net, I’d say you’re in denial. I know, I was there once, too.

And if this computer didn’t have the system in place to automatically shut off after a designated time, I’d still be there. Just like that.