Tag: Faith

Remembering the Anchor

psalm16As I was mulling over a bunch of different events and circumstances affecting or involving our home and family this morning as the winds of change continue to blow,  and I found myself reeling in thoughts of sadness, happiness, doubt, hope, confusion — as if tossed in the waves of a rolling sea.  And then, almost as immediately as my mind was filled with cares of this life, I was calmed by the blessed assurance that “the lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places” (psalm 16) and, truly, the Lord is ever before me.  And, I’m further comforted that regardless of how this ship is tossed to and fro or whether it takes on water — or whether I stagger about, one thing I know (that I know that I know that I know): my Anchor holds.

I think of the hymn, My Anchor Holds; I think of Scripture that affirms to me that I have an anchor – a sure Anchor.  Though once again my circumstances *seem* to be louder than the Truth or *seem* to be lacking clarity, purpose or reason, I can be sure my Anchor holds.  And this is bcz my Anchor isn’t dependent on me or my actions or understanding, and my Anchor isn’t dependent on my ship.  My Anchor is Jesus.  The same who has given me my lot, the same who is the Author  and Finisher of my faith, the same who is my Redeemer and Friend: He is the Anchor of my soul.   He is ever before me.

quotebeginWherein God, willing more abundantly to shew unto the heirs of promise the immutability of His counsel, confirmed it by an oath: That by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us: Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil;  Whither the forerunner is for us entered, even Jesus, made an high priest for ever after the order of Melchisedec.”  —Hebrews 6. 17-20

So I affirm to the Lord that I know He is with me — I know He is for me — and I know He only does all things well.  I know this because I have seen this all through my life, I know this because I read it in His Word — His precious, infallible, unchanging, sure Word.  A decision, then, needs to be made.  I can decide to look at and listen to and reel with my circumstances or I can remember His Word.  I have an anchor.  I have a refuge.  I have a Hope.  I have a forerunner… “even Jesus.”    I remember my Anchor holds.

Back to Psalm 16
quotebegin The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places; yea, I have a goodly heritage.  I will bless the LORD, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons.  I have set the LORD always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.  Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.”  ps 16.6-9

And here are the words to the William C. Martin hymn, My Anchor Holds

Though the angry surges roll
On my tempest-driven soul,
I am peaceful, for I know,
Wildly though the winds may blow,
I’ve an anchor safe and sure,
That can evermore endure.

Refrain:
And it holds, my anchor holds:
Blow your wildest, then, O gale,
On my bark so small and frail;
By His grace I shall not fail,
For my anchor holds, my anchor holds

Mighty tides about me sweep,
Perils lurk within the deep,
Angry clouds o’er shade the sky,
And the tempest rises high;
Still I stand the tempest’s shock,
For my anchor grips the rock.

I can feel the anchor fast
As I meet each sudden blast,
And the cable, though unseen,
Bears the heavy strain between;
Through the storm I safely ride,
Till the turning of the tide.

Troubles almost ’whelm the soul;
Griefs like billows o’er me roll;
Tempters seek to lure astray;
Storms obscure the light of day:
But in Christ I can be bold,
I’ve an anchor that shall hold.

However it is with you today… remember the Anchor.

 

Trust & Obey

wesafterheartsurgeryFor there’s no other way. But to trust and obey.

This photograph was taken one year ago today.  A few hours after the vent was removed, following open heart surgery, my husband began to wake and once again I saw the mercy of the Lord.  I marveled then and I marvel now—knowing all that I know from that time to this: God is (and has been) only good all the time; All God’s ways are (and have been) good.  Surely it is true that I know nothing of tomorrow but that Providence will rise before the sun.  Surely, God is the Lord of all.

Whatever you’re facing today, whatever trials are strewn across your path, whatever fears are in your heart and mind, surely the Lord has you in mind and the anguish, doubt, pain or despair you’re experiencing can be laid at His feet, and in His arms you can be carried.  Surely His arms are not shortened that they cannot save to the uttermost.  This is the truth.  Your circumstances may be sounding louder than the truth, but the truth cannot be silenced or drowned out.

Will you seeing, yet not seeing, believe God?

It’s often easy to believe God based on favourable circumstances and difficult to believe God based on personally challenging circumstances, but God does not change–His truth does not change–He cannot change. If blessings are lavished upon or withheld from us, we still have a loving Heavenly Father.  If our relationships are filled with ease and comfort, if our toils bring little weariness, if our health is strong and our burdens seem light: Praise the Lord — it’s so easy to do so in such times as these.  But if our relationships are strained and our work is futile effort, if our health is fragile and pained, and our burdens heavier with each passing day: Look to the Lord — it’s so needful especially in such times as these.  There is never a day, never a moment we do not need His abiding care.  There is never a day, never a moment we could do without His abiding love.  Sometimes it takes a tragedy to see this… sometimes it takes a tragedy to know this.

Throughout this year with all its ups and downs, I know that He is only good, His ways are only best, His love is unfathomable.  He truly does work *all* things together for good.  He calls us to lay everything on the altar.  Everything.  And to then to look to Him there… to wait on Him there.  I may have to do this a thousand times today… but I know it’s the best place to be.  And I know that I know that nothing happens without His expressed permission and purpose. My will fights that knowledge—but in my heart I know there is no other way… but to:

Trust & Obey

When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies,
But His smile quickly drives it away;
Not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear,
Can abide while we trust and obey.

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share,
But our toil He doth richly repay;
Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross,
But is blessed if we trust and obey.

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

But we never can prove the delights of His love
Until all on the altar we lay;
For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows,
Are for them who will trust and obey.

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet.
Or we’ll walk by His side in the way.
What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey.

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

In The Course of Reading

Openbible

One of my greatest delights is to see the goodness or the hand of the Lord in the land of the living. I’ve been so amazed through the years at the many times we have come upon a verse, in the natural course of reading, that was so appropriate or applicable to a particular situation we were in, or dealing with or would soon see or experience.  It’s nothing short of a miracle, a serendipity of the Lord, a gift just for us to take in and treasure.

 “I had fainted, unless I had believed to see
the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.”
Psalm 27.13

The amazing thing is that often a verse is read and we instantly know the Lord is ministering to our hearts, meeting us right where we are.  When these things happen, it’s surely no coincidence, but rather, what I like to call a: CoIncident.

It’s almost as if, from time to time, the Lord sees our weakness, our frailty, our lack of hope or faith or strength to carry on and He delights to give us a drink of cool water to refresh our soul.  It’s often as though He sees us stumbling along with no hope and gives us a lift, a glimpse of His beauty, an unexpected provision meeting our very present need.  No, not a coincidence, but a CoIncident, yes.

CoIncident

His delight is in loving us right where we are that He might demonstrate His love and His power and that He would receive honour and glory and majesty in our lives.  I see His tender loving care in doing these things and I see His power in His work in our lives.  So many times I shake my head and marvel that nothing but God could have made this or that to happen… nothing but the power of the Cross could bridge gaps we face or trials we undergo.  Nothing but the Love of God could show us what we’re shown from time to time — more often — if we have eyes to see and ears to hear.

These have been wearying days, uncertain days, trying days in my life and I marvel each time I come upon a taste of honey in the Word, a sip of cool water, a soothing balm, a strong plank on which to stand.  Tears flood my eyes when I see His mercy in His Word or in something spoken or provided or accomplished. Whatever the need, the Lord continually shows Himself strong on my behalf — which He longs to do for each one of us.  I’m so humbled that He thinks on me… He thinks on you.  Do you know that?

 For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro
throughout the whole earth,
to shew Himself strong in the behalf of them
whose heart is perfect toward Him.
2Chronicles 16.9

In our family reading this morning we came to Numbers 11.  In an astounding answer to Moses’ much doubting, and the children of Israel’s much complaining and murmuring, and the weariness Moses was experiencing at the heavy load he was carrying, the Lord answers Moses with a simple question in verse 23: Is the LORD’s hand waxed short?

Upon hearing that, I was humbled and tears have come to my eyes many times throughout this day as I recount this question to Moses.  It’s a question to me, as well.  And I fall short. God is only great; He is only good; He is only faithful and cannot fail.   I know this.  This is the hardest thing I know.

 

Labels and Names

coffecupI’m mulling over a Kelly Crawford “quiverfull” article I read yesterday.  It so resonated with me (as her writings often do) and brought to mind several related labels and names.  One thing that came to mind almost immediately is the number of times recently that I’ve wanted to distance myself from a particular word, practice, inference, organization, person, product, etc., etc., when any one of them failed or turned out to be different than  I thought or understood them to be — or when my personal definition or application of a particular word or practice didn’t/doesn’t line up with whatever the latest scandal portrays.   As in, say, quiverfull or large family or homeschooling or complementarian or Christian or a myriad of other buzzwords in the news.  Lots of times it’s not the words used, necessarily, but the way they’re used (and especially the inflection of voice in the way they’re spoken).

Immediately, I want to say (usually only in my head as I pull weeds in the garden), yes, but I’m not that kind of homeschooler, I’m not that kind of large family, I’m not that kind of mother, etc., etc.  I’m not in that kind of homeschool program or that kind of church or whatever.  Sometimes I have to add: well, not any more.

Sometimes my (or your)  “not any more” occurred long before the publication of a ‘bad report’ or a scandal.  I know that, and you know that, but maybe others don’t that. And I am (or you are) still assumed to be connected to/with or defined by a particular name or label.  And probably a misunderstood, misinformed idea and/or mischaracterization of that name or label.

So my thought here is that all these different media assertions, characterizations or biases are very instructive. First they instruct me to be very careful regarding my alignment with a particular personality or program.  Then I need to be careful what message I portray and how my actions affect or represent that message. Then I need to pay close attention to respectfully hear objections and discern the motive behind the messages.  Is the message really an attack on me?  Probably not, but is rather an attack because of a preconceived notion or because of a negative experience with whatever I seem to represent.  So then, should I take it personally?  Probably not. No.

So you have a bunch of kids.  Doesn’t make you The Dugger’s… ‘makes you a mom with a bunch of kids like a whole bunch of other moms with a bunch of kids and they aren’t The Dugger’s either.  So you homeschool and/or you only wear dresses and/or you dress modestly (or whatever other thing you do or don’t do, the best you know how).  Doesn’t make you Amish or ATI or Mennonite or part of a cult or whatever… ‘makes you just a woman who’s made some decisions that are different than some decisions others have made.  And you go on.  So you take a stand for Biblical, traditional marriage.  And you’re castigated for it.  You’re wrongly labeled as phobic or narrow minded or intolerant.  Think it not strange.  Their comments don’t make you any of those things… just continue on in faith, trusting the Lord to bring about His plans and purposes in all these things.  Sure, all these different misunderstandings are painful and difficult.  And, sure they’re inaccurate — but we are told in Scripture that in this world we will have tribulation.  But the big deal is that Jesus didn’t stop there — He went on to say that we are to be of good cheer.  And what is the basis of that cheer?  Jesus. He tells us that in Him we might have peace and that peace is because of who He is and who we are in Him and because He has overcome the world. (John 16.33) So, we can be overcomers.  That’s powerful. That’s Good News!

And you know how else all the mislabeling instructs me?  I’m instructed to be very careful how I might be mislabeling others, making wrong assumptions of others, mischaracterizing others.  I am reminded to be careful to not jump to conclusions about a matter based on a preconceived notion or experience (good or bad for that matter) and then have to back-peddle when more information becomes apparent.  I see more and more why we need to be in the Word, in prayer, and walking in faith.  And that’s where iron sharpening iron sorts of friendships also help us get and stay on track.

Waiting.

coffee_4Waiting.  Perhaps the simplest and most difficult action we’re commanded is waiting.  I don’t know if anything epitomizes our sin nature more than our natural response to waiting.  We’re naturally prone to not wait.  To not want to wait.  To not seek to wait.  More often than not, we believe or live as though we believe otherwise.  Think of the times you’ve exclaimed, “I cannot wait!” in reference to an upcoming event or for somewhere you want to go or for something you want to do or for someone you want to see. But in the end, you waited, though you thought you could not.

Most of us have heard or been told at one time or another, Don’t just stand there, do something!  But that’s not really walking in faith, is it?  I think that waiting is often the greatest demand in walking in faith.  [cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD. –Psalm 27.14[/cp_quote] It’s more Don’t just do something, Stand there action that’s required in true and living faith.  Standing still is a very active place of faith.

So much of the time, our experiences define our action in or our reaction to life’s situations instead of Scriptural truths defining our actions and reactions or instead of faith defining our actions or reactions in and to life’s situations. I find this is true more often than I would like to think by this stage in my life.  I’d like to think I’d be “further along” by now—I surely thought this would be so, anyway.  But, no.  I’m still often like my little girl self who could not wait for an event or an accomplishment or a certain age.  Even though all those things I couldn’t wait for have come to pass — and were, for the most part, very different than what I thought I couldn’t wait for.  And, thankfully so.

Why then, are we instructed to wait?  Why were the children of Israel instructed to wait?  Why do we teach our children, over and over again, to wait?  I think it’s bcz we and they would not choose what’s best, would not seek the Lord’s will, would not obey His directions were it not for the instruction and education that waiting provides.  We’d not choose some of the methods He would use for our good and His glory–but in the end, they’re exactly what we’d choose had we all the facts in the beginning.  This is the grace and mercy of God.

Some nineteen years ago, within a very short period of time, we needed to find a new place to live and thus began our search in earnest. We drove all over the place, searching, looking, hunting for the perfect home.  And indeed, we thought we’d found it.  But early one morning later that week, we were awakened by the Lord and impressed that it wasn’t the right home for us  and we quickly ended the negotiation process. It was a Friday morning.  We determined to wait — to wait on the Lord through the weekend and not do a thing about our eminent need.  We prayed—and we knew the Lord had heard our prayer.  We determined to wait on Him.

Monday came and through the course of the day, we looked for a home with an address we’d been given.  We never found it and, in a bit of sinking despair, we were headed back to our house.  On the way, I noticed an inconspicuous sign on a post, For Sale by Owner.  I called the number, heard all the details about the home and even though we could not meet the criteria, I went along with our children and saw the home.  It was just right.   And within days, it was confirmed to us that it was just right.

Can God provide a table in the wilderness?  Does He command us to stand still and wait and see what He will do?  Yes, and yes.  It’s not because it’s been my experience that this is true, though it is, it’s true because God commanded it to be so that it’s true. He hears us when we pray.  He answers in His timing according to His plans and purposes.  When we think He hasn’t answered, we think He hasn’t heard us.  But that is not true—He hears because He is God, He knows all things, sees all things, hears all things. We so often rest on our experiences to prove God instead of resting on His promises to prove Himself.  This, we know by faith, this we learn in waiting on Him.  Waiting for Him.

quotebeginAs ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord,
so walk ye in him:  Rooted and built up in him,
and stablished in the faith, as ye have been taught,
abounding therein with thanksgiving.”

Keepers @ Home

u_skap_4[cp_dropcaps]I[/cp_dropcaps]n Titus 2.4-5 we read, in part, that younger women are to be taught by older women to be keepers at home, we see that there must be something to this ‘keeping a home’ for it to warrant teaching or knowledge of skills to do the keeping. This home-keeping, something that needs to be studied, or which requires skill, must also be pretty important or noteworthy for it to be contained in the list of imperatives in the book of Titus concerning what ought to be taught through and to women.  I will add that this ‘home-keeping’ be done well because it does not stand alone. In context, it is in the verse which concludes: that the Word of God be not blasphemed.

Everything we do must be measured against the standard of God’s Word.  Nothing we do is worth anything if it does not measure up to the Word of God.  That’s convicting.  And it’s also tough teaching—but that’s the Word—God’s Word to us.  You know what’s also convicting?  Older women are directed to do this — to be about doing this.  More often than not, I see the younger women hanging around the younger women and working it all out.  I see the older women feeling like has been’s, antiquated in their ways and ideas and not all that willing  or able to impart teaching to younger women.  Younger women may also not really want advice or training from older women, either.  Whatever the case, the Scriptures are pretty clear on “discipleship” and instruction to youth.

So, what if the older woman isn’t in a position or doesn’t feel capable to teach the younger?  It seems that desire to be available probably ought to be a priority and then action when opportunity arises.  But regardless how this all plays out in a woman’s life, there needs to be some nurturing of the desire to be used of the Lord in other’s lives—the willingness to be available to others in their time of need, the willingness to be open and vulnerable over a cup of coffee, as an example.  And all the while, older women need to continually grow in the Lord and in prayer — sharpening their faith, skills, understanding, and knowledge — so that they will be ready to give an answer! ♥

So, the home is a shelter, a place of worship and prayer, a place of refuge, a place of forgiveness and forgetfulness, a place of refreshment, a place where skills are taught and where they’re learned — it’s a place of hospitality.  It is all of these and more.

I will suggest that the home is also a place of harmony.  A place where lives are blended in order that a whole may be formed.  Two come together as one—a whole is formed.  A child is added to the whole and it is made more complete—perhaps another or many others are added in order that that whole might be made more complete.  Whatever the case, the home is where harmony and oneness are learned; it is where communication and cooperation are learned; it is where acceptance and rejection is learned and handled. The home is where relationships are modeled and worked out.  The home must be a safe place for all these things to be nurtured or understood.  All of these facets of human relationships will be learned somewhere—a nurturing Christian home will help all of these develop healthily.  The longer I live, the more I see the value and necessity of a nurturing home.

The keeper at home has a tremendous responsibility to make sure that the home is all of these, that in addition to these or the working out of all of these, makes sense with the home a place of work, creativity, industry, health, basic education and training for the desire for life-long learning.  When the home is seen in proper perspective— in line with the Word of God, it is a dynamic place—a place that’s so full of life that it’s naturally growing and incorporating and encouraging each member, friend, or guest, and the model is Christ-like.  And isn’t that our greatest desire — our whole hope—our whole hearts’ desire: That the Lord is glorified and that we may be like Him?!!?   Then it stands to reason that our homes should reflect that desire—they should radiate that hope or that tone—and should be ever growing in grace as each season passes.

If being a keeper at home has been difficult for you (as it has been for me at different times and in different seasons) then maybe it’s just time to stop and refocus, time to stop and reevaluate where you are, what’s going on and where you’d like to improve.  I do this from time to time so that I can sharpen my focus or get back on track where I’ve derailed.  Only the devil will attempt to convince you that you’ve failed or that you’re not capable of getting it right (bcz you never do) or that it’s too late.  Those are lies.  The truth is that [cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]the Lord has created you specifically with all your special skills and abilities, quirks and even your limitations[/cp_quote] the Lord has created you specifically with all your special skills and abilities, quirks and even your limitations — and desires that you use them for His glory, that you cry out to Him to equip you, strengthen you for the task, give you hope, joy, peace and patience for the journey and that He would work in you to be a gracious blessing to your family.  I think that’s why He’s set many of us in our homes where we often feel like we know not what to do—but with God all things are possible.

A blogger’s loss & gain

teapotcup[cp_dropcaps]H[/cp_dropcaps]ardly a week goes by that I don’t think (or mutter aloud) that this or that blog or twitter account will have a crash.  In just a matter of time there will be an incident or an avalanche of incidents that will take a blogger to an intersection in her life where she’ll be broadsided some Thursday afternoon and she’ll sit on the floor, head in her hands, crying out to God for His mercy.  But for now, she doesn’t  ask for help because she doesn’t know she needs it.  Yet.

Such was the case for me… going to bed most every night regretting all the stuff that didn’t get done that day… only to wake the next morning, hurrying to get enough stuff done to be able to log on, retrieve the messages, hurriedly scan blogs of interest, personally regretting lacking the coolest format and relevant blog topics, hurriedly editing the latest photos for a new layout and then opening the blog “new post” page to start another blog entry.

With new eyes, I see the new styles and formats year after year.  Emails flood my  inbox regarding new programs, site design software, search engine optimization, methods for attracting and increasing traffic, comments, customers, digital image editing, suggestions for link sharing and more.  As I see these things for the few seconds they remain on the screen before they’re deleted, I think of all my years of temptation to be and do more — and now the young mothers who desperately long to have a successful marriage and pinterested motherhood, well educated home-schooled children, pinteresting organized homes and pinterest-perfect meals served on lovely tables in beautiful homes just like the pictures in the best blogs.  I see the ideas, tutorials, instructional and encouragement blogs and I sincerely think it’s amazing how they’ve exploded exponentially over the last few years.  The pictures almost have smell-o-vision and the images seem to be increasingly bigger, better, more than homemaking’s ever been.  All, seemingly effortlessly accomplished.  While blogging.

And for a while the mothers will be able to pull it off…. blogging and living.  Living and blogging. Checking the other blogs.  Sharing links and ideas.  Guest posting. Guest hosting.  I wish I could convey that a mama on the computer doesn’t realize — really does not realize — how much time is passing and what’s being missed and what’s NOT being done in the passage of time.  I wish I could explain that the number of times a mama says Justa sec… Justa sec… only increases.  I wish I could convey just what happens with each “Justa sec” that’s uttered.  [cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]What’s really happening is not what it seems like at the time to the mama.[/cp_quote]  What it seems like at the time to the mama is that she really will hop up and play, or hop up and read that book, that she really will push that swing, see that funny face, play that game.   But what’s really happening, more often than not, is that mindless commands are given, mindless affirmations are made, and in Justa sec, Justa sec… a child (or two or seven) is walking away.  A child (or two or five) is ignored or put off or forgotten.  Then time is too short for that story, that game, that swing, that funny face, that trip to the library.  The hours pass into days, the days pass into months and the months pass into years.  And all those Justa sec’s net nothing — nothing but a little more precious time online.  And then the weary mama sinks down defeated… because at the end of that “Justa sec” is dinner, a spilled cup of milk, laundry, the phone or the door or the diaper or the dentist – fifteen minutes late.  The tensions build, the frustrations increase and troubles start to flow like a river.

And then one day the crash happens.  It may be a literal computer hard-drive crash or a website crash. It may be a failed or broken or damaged relationship.  But a crash happens and the mama gets a wake-up call.  She probably won’t realize in the moment, but then, the dawning of reality crashes over her like a tsunami that precious moments were missed and forever lost.

And the impact of the reality hits her as she crumbles on the kitchen floor.  She gasps to breathe as she begins to catch a glimpse of what’s happened in the space of fifty thousand Justa sec’s.   She’s leveled as she begins to realize the utter waste that consumed her days… that time to push the swing is past. Forever. In the theatre of her mind she recounts all the things forever gone, the pictures she never coloured with the littles,  the funny things she didn’t even realize she missed… that the children stopped asking her to come and see, come and read, come and play… they knew that Justa sec never came.  Justa sec never comes.  Apologies would not make up for all that was lost.  Sorrow wouldn’t restore the days and months that turned into years.  Regret would not rewind the clock.

And in a puddle of tears and a heap of sorrow, she’s pretty sure she’ll never outlive these hard days — these very hard days of reckoning.  But she will.  God in His mercy will answer her cries.  And He will tenderly cover her sorrows.  He can restore what the locusts have eaten.  A blogger’s loss may be another’s gain.

This is my story, this is my song, praising my Saviour all the day long.

 

Married for Keeps – The Treasure

[cp_dropcaps]M[/cp_dropcaps]ay the LORD be with you and bless you this day!  He is so gracious to us all and His mercies are new every morning.  I share this before I share my letter with you because I know that each time I share a letter on marriage, there are sisters whose hearts are breaking and the pain of marital difficulties weighs heavily on them.  So it is with this in mind that I write and pray to offer a bit of hope today.  What I’m sharing with you today is a message I wrote many years ago and have continued mulling over and continues to be the subject most dear to my heart and a main focus of ministry to women.

As I shared previously, at the beginning of each game of marbles, a circle was drawn in the dirt and the question was posed: “Are we playing for keeps, or are we just playing?”

You see, in marriage, it’s a lot like that and from the beginning, the ground rules or the foundation must be firmly in place and clearly defined.  In observing couples over the years, I’ve often noticed that some seem as though they’re just playing while others are clearly playing for keeps.  Some seem careless about the marbles in their bags… as if to disregard their value — while others cherish them knowing their worth is greater than all the finest jewels in the world.

As analogies often do, this analogy of marbles, games, and playing for keeps or just playing will break down quickly and perhaps lose the depth of meaning I’m intending to convey, but I ask you… are you married for keeps or are you just playing?  If your answer isn’t an affirmative: playing for keeps(!), then may I ask you again for a moment more of your time… another visit over a cup of tea and a prayer for resolve to do whatever it takes to get to the heart of your commitment and to see any fault lines or cracks in your foundation and for you to take a sincere look at what else you’ve got in the bag that you’re treasuring.  What might be competing or what might be distracting you?

As with most things, what you’ve got in your bag demonstrates what you treasure and what you’ve been willing to part with or what you’ve lost.  You’ve likely had some of both, but will hopefully come to see, value and cherish your treasures more as the years go by.

[cp_dropcaps]T[/cp_dropcaps]he Treasures… There’re numerous treasures—valuable marbles in the bag of one who’s “married for keeps.”   And for one who’s married for keeps, quickly discarding the worthless marbles or those things that will damage the treasures is paramount to the guarding of the treasures.  In addition to faith in the Lord Jesus, marbles worth keeping and guarding are trust, intimacy, hope and love. Others are: forgiveness, repentance, forgetfulness of wrongs, laughter, tenderness, respect, more intimacy and loyalty.  You see, all of these, if treasured and cherished, if guarded and kept polished, provide such strength and an unshakeable resolve to “play for keeps!”  If these aren’t kept carefully, then the marriage will be open to all sorts of assaults and distractions resulting in damage or loss of any or all of the foundational stones or “marbles.”

Perhaps you’ve noticed the interaction in different marriages.  Some, you’ve readily seen are played out sweetly with great precision as if every move is made with love and skillful intention; you might feel warmed by the loving respect you see displayed, the tender kindness you see demonstrated in even small, but thoughtful, things.  You might be inspired by the kindnesses and courtesies given.  You might be encouraged by the storms they’ve endured, the trials they’ve faced and suffered and the blessings they rehearse.  But then in others, you see right away the negligence and disregard; careless words that make you wince, disrespectful attitudes that make you cringe, lack of respect, etc.   The un-cherished treasure, the unloved gift—the bag of marbles spilling out — the pink cleary lost in the battle.  I ache when I see this—but I’m instructed to take a look at my current reality–where am I at the moment?

Because I’m keenly intent on the matter,  it’s an area of occasional spiritual attack and I’m so ashamed when I discover that I’ve not been gracious and loving to my husband, or that I’ve not cherished the treasure of the gift that he is.  I grieve when I hear a man belittle, shame or mock his wife or a woman’s careless disrespect for her husband’s abilities, opinions or plans.  It’s as if edification is for *others* but we allow a certain measure of leeway for our flaws or flexibility if we don’t feel like “playing by the rules” in our personal life or marriage that we might demand in others.

I shared with you last time that when I was a little girl playing marbles, I tried to play with intense skill and the determination of a professional as I’d guard that pretty “pink cleary” and I tried to never let it out of my site. Everyone knew it was my favourite as I rarely took it out of my little bag and played it only when I felt absolutely certain I’d not lose it.  So it ought to be with each of us and the husband the LORD’s given us:  each with our prized treasure: his hopes, his reputation, his home, his goals, his thoughts, his needs, his vulnerabilities, and his emotions—we ought to be so careful with these that we would do nothing to lose or damage them.

[cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. —Proverbs 31.12[/cp_quote]”  All the days of her life.  Not when convenient, not just when others are observing, not when comfortable, but all the days of her life.  Doing good is *active* and intentional… laziness takes little effort, but doing good means taking initiative, being intentional and requires being resourceful.  Why?  Because sometimes we’ve got such a long way to go or feel there’s no good place to start that every move seems heavy and hopeless.  But with God, all things are possible and nothing is hopeless—with God.  That’s the key to being married for keeps: with God, all things are possible.

Today, a circle is drawn in the dirt… the take a look at the “bag” of the treasures of your life.  Is the bag intact?  What’s in your bag?  Have you cherished the treasures in your bag? Is the circle in the dirt very clear and visible? Have you sought to be diligent in caring for the things the LORD’s called you to care for?  Have you been careless with your treasures?  Have you neglected or mishandled the treasures of your marriage?  [cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]do the next right thing. [/cp_quote]Today—while it is still today, do the next right thing.  What have you neglected?  Respecting him?  Loving him?  Meeting his needs? Honouring him?  Building him up to your children?  Have you laughed *with* him or *at* him?   You see, the answers to these questions will give you a bit of a hint as to what next right thing is that you ought to do.   On your knees your answers will come — this is what I have found to be true: on my knees, the answers have come.

Married For Keeps

[cp_dropcaps]Y[/cp_dropcaps]ou know, some ways of the LORD are very easy to accept and then there’re times when His way is a bit more challenging and the price seems a bit higher, perhaps a price too steep for us to consent to give.  But, you know, in those times His mercy and grace seem greater.  These are the proving grounds, these are the testings of our faith.  I used to think that the testing of our faith was part trickery and part unrealistic expectation, something akin to being doomed to failure. O, but that’s not God, that’s not the God of peace: the all-wise, all-knowing, all-sufficient, all loving God of compassion.  The enemy intends our failure at least and at most, our lack of faith in God—God who has promised to never leave us nor forsake us. But the devil would have us live/believe otherwise.  So, when I share with you things that I am learning or have learned along the way, I don’t share with strong confidence save the confidence I have in and through Jesus, my Lord.

What I’d like to share with you today is a message I have been mulling over and working on for quite some time now.  I’ll be sharing it in a couple of parts as your time is valuable and I don’t want to overstay my cup of coffee with you.  So then, today I’d like to talk with you about marriage—a subject near and dear to my heart, a subject that is receiving much media attention of late.  An institution that is under extraordinary attack and stands to be destroyed—but God!

When I was a little girl, my favourite part of each day at school was recess.  I loved recess, I loved playing hop-scotch and tether-ball and I especially loved playing marbles.  I had a little zippered bag with two handles and it held my precious marble collection.  I had treasures in that bag that were dear to me and absolutely hated the thought of losing them.  [cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]Are we playing for keeps or are we just playing?[/cp_quote]Well, at the beginning of the game we’d draw a circle in the dirt; never content to just play the game, but fearing the consequence of loss, my question was always the same: Are we playing for keeps or are we just playing?  I always feared the loss of my precious pink cleary marble.  I probably played a bit carelessly if I knew we were “just playing,” but played with keen competitiveness and extreme caution when we were “playing for keeps.”  With skill and determination of a professional, 😉  I’d guard that pretty pink cleary and never let it out of my sight.  O, even the other little girls knew it was my favourite as I rarely took it out of my little bag, guarded it carefully and played it only when I felt absolutely certain I’d not lose it.  This analogy breaks down of course, but you get the idea.

[cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”] 7Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.  8And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints. 9And he saith unto me, Write, Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he saith unto me, These are the true sayings of God.
— Revelation 19[/cp_quote]When I think of marriage and the sacred bond between husband and wife, I think of that game from time to time.  The Word says that husbands are to love, cherish and nourish their wives—even as their own bodies.  Wives are to be subject unto their own husbands in every thing, reverencing them, as it were, with the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit.  Both part of the whole, both leaving and cleaving: two become one flesh.  So, the marbles… marriage… it will be a treasure to you and an heirloom for your children when you determine to draw that circle in the dirt—only playing inside that circle, and further, when you determine you’re going to not just play at it, but when you determine that, no matter what, you’re playing for keeps.

Married for Keeps means forsaking all others, living out that mysterious picture of Christ and the church — you will do whatever it takes to not lose a single marble.  What are some of the marbles in the bag of one who’s married for keeps?   I’ll share a few of those in “part two” of this letter.  Until then, don’t lose your “pink cleary.”  Your children are depending on you to have it in the bag.

The Sweetest Peace

melianewbornhand

The sweetest peace comes at the most unexpected times… do you know what I mean? Have you experienced the sweetest peace in the midst of tenderest joy?  Have you experienced the sweetest peace in the midst of anguishing sorrow?  Have you experienced the sweetest peace in the midst of heart wrenching loss?

The sweetest peace that washes over you now when you reflect on some past experience… the sweetest peace that carries you through the hardest places you’ve ever traveled… this is the peace that passes understanding.  I think this is the peace that Kara wrote about in her book: The Hardest Peace; I believe it is the peace she now sees Face to face, face to Face — His to hers, hers to His: the sweetest peace. The certain presence of the Lord and the reality of heaven.

My husband brought me her book, The Hardest Peace, when he came home from from a brief mission’s trip to Korea last fall. I didn’t know how much at the time I needed the reaffirmations of that book–how much I needed to seek and find peace in the midst of what Kara simply called, hard.

I kept wanting to fill in the rest of the sentences that read: take a look at the hard. Or, disappointed by the hard.  Meeting Jesus in the hard.  As I read, I kept wanting to fill in the sentences that seemed uncomfortably lopped off.  And then I began to understand.  From the title and subtitle of the book, “The Hardest Peace, finding grace in the midst of life’s hard” to the end of the book — and now to the end of her story, I finally understand.  I finally get it, the why behind the writing style — the why behind the poetic style.  Everyone’s “hardest peace” or “hard” or “life’s hard” is different. And, while she wrote openly about the different ‘hard places’ of her life from the disappointments to the ravages of cancer,  there is much room for each reader’s personal application – each person’s hard or hardest peace is represented in her candid and poetic writing.

It might not be a wayward child, or financial loss, or disease — it may be a disappointment completely different than those three examples.  But it’s still hard.  Some harder than others.  But the resulting peace or the inspired peace will be similar.  It will be that point where the Lord sees and meets you.  The place where His peace is sufficient and “life’s hard” will be filled with, covered over by, and carried by: grace. Clinging to the hand I cannot see, held by the grip that will not let me go.

I cannot count the times I’ve gone through a trial and, because of the grace of God in previous trials, I’ve recognized His unmistakable signature. More remarkable is when this recognition comes in the midst of the testing of faith. In such times I often think: I’m going to need this… I’m going to need everything I’m experiencing or learning in this trial.  All this understanding doesn’t necessarily make the trial easier – sometimes not at all – but it  causes real attention to be given to seeking the Lord, to pray, to wait and to study the trial.  In these times as  I specifically watch for God’s hand to move—I watch for His direction and I’m comforted by His presence.

In this sweetest peace, I’m more prone to praise Him and recount His wonderful works.  I’m more prone to trust as I wait.  I’m more prone to look for Jesus in the midst of the trial and connect the experience to promises in His Word.  In this sweetest peace I’m less likely to give into fear and more resolute to wait on Him.

Sometimes the standing still is hard.  I want to act.  I want to react.  But I find the sweetest peace sometimes comes in the waiting — that peace that passes understanding.  I long for that sweetest peace.  What I long for is that still small voice. After the strong wind, after the earthquake, after the fire: that still small voice of the Lord.  That still small voice that brings the sweetest peace.

Kara knows as she is known… and I’m so grateful to have had but a small glimpse of her remarkable journey in that hardest peace.