Faith – Page 3 – The Welcome Home

Strengthen The Things That Remain

And unto the angel of the church in Sardis write; These things saith he that hath the seven Spirits of God, and the seven stars; I know thy works, that thou hast a name that thou livest, and art dead. 2 Be watchful, and strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die: for I have not found thy works perfect before God. 3 Remember therefore how thou hast received and heard, and hold fast, and repent. If therefore thou shalt not watch, I will come on thee as a thief, and thou shalt not know what hour I will come upon thee. 4 Thou hast a few names even in Sardis which have not defiled their garments; and they shall walk with me in white: for they are worthy. 5 He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his name before my Father, and before his angels. 6 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.” Revelation 3.1-6

“He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.”
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When I read this, I think, Lord I believe; help Thou my unbelief. And then I pray, Lord, will You strengthen the things that remain? Will You clear away whatever isn’t pleasing to You? Will You make my responses, my works perfect before You? I know Your strength is made perfect in my weakness. Will You clean my garments, make them white and make them worthy?

I can say with confidence, with surety and with great joy that the Lord, indeed, strengthens the things that remain. He does, indeed, redeem the time, and He restores the years the locusts have eaten. And He does, indeed, turn a heart of stone into a heart of flesh. [cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]He does, indeed, demonstrate His love toward us and, yes, He does, indeed, give sight to the blind, rest to the weary, faith to the feeble, and strength to the weak.[/cp_quote]

I can say this because of who He is, what I have seen and what He has done. I have prayed these prayers and have set all these sorts of things at His feet and I have confessed over again the failings that have brought me low, the regrets that have leveled me. I’ve walked the roads I share with you–my writings are pictures of my days, slices of my life and I share them with you as a way of connecting and hopefully, prayerfully, and sincerely I write so that you will be encouraged in your own walk—strengthened in your own life as you journey with the Lord.

As I’ve stood still in the Hand of the Potter — surely not saying, why hast Thou made me thus? — but saying, make me Thine, Lord, make me Thine! Take my life and let it be consecrated Lord to Thee! I have seen there are — things that remain — yes, there are many things the Lord has done in and through me that remain and so, I ask again: Lord, will You strengthen the things that remain and skim off the dross that I might be fit for the Master’s use? I pray it will be the same with you today… that He will strengthen the things that remain and fit you for the Master’s use.

Don’t Give Up

romans838TWH Giving up is not an option. Cutting off all contact is not an option. Negating or negotiating wrong choices is not an option. Reversing the damages is not an option — that is to say, whatever precipitated the wrong choices is done. You cannot recreate the past. If you made stupid parenting decisions, if you weren’t there as a parent, if you messed up — whatever — you have to get past the idea that you can, today, make your yesterdays or their yesterdays any different. But you can walk on in obedience and faith today.

Only the devil will try to convince you that giving up IS an option. This is hard to consider — it’s hard to face. It’s hard to see sometimes that seemingly “good ideas” about giving up are not from God. That is, the devil’s very convincing. Very convincing. He convinces women all the time that they’re worthless, their lives are useless, their accomplishments amount to nothing, their failures are beyond redemption and their sins or mistakes cannot be forgiven. All that, and considering that his chief aim is not glorifying God –because he hates God– the devil’s chief aim is not your best interest, it’s very certain that his prompting for you to throw in the towel–for you to give up–is for your complete destruction.

But God.

There is nothing that can separate you from the love of God. You have His Word on it. If you will call on Him, He will hear you, He will carry you, He will deliver you. Because He loves you.

You may feel alone today — your behaviour, decisions, sin, neglect, stupid actions, foolish words, pride, ignorance, selfishness, or a whole host of whatever else, may have brought you to this day with a big pile of nothing but regret, loss and shame. But God who loves you, gave His only begotten Son, Jesus, to be your Redeemer. Seriously. There is a Redeemer — Jesus — and He is only faithful and true. He cannot fail you, He cannot leave you nor forsake you. Don’t give up today. Don’t run away. Run to Jesus. Call on His name. Pick up His Word and read it. He is for you. He loves you — don’t think it’s the love you see all around you — you know what I mean, the love you thought was here, there and everywhere. God’s love is different than all human love. God’s love is eternal. It’s powerful — it divides the Light and the darkness. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you WILL be saved. You have His Word.

Don’t give up. Give God your troubles, your trials, your mess. He redeems.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” –Romans 8.35-39

Big Trees Small Seeds

Every seed grows.

In the midst of everyday life, seeds are planted. A lot of the time — perhaps most of the time — we don’t even notice the seeds that are planted. Ideas. Pictures. Envy. Desires. Regrets. Pride. Shame. Hope. Doubt. All sorts of seeds drop, drop, drop into the soil of our lives. Good seeds, bad seeds… whatever they are, they grow. The more we feed them, the more they grow.

Interestingly, we might believe the only things we plant are things we intend to grow — you know, like seeds that are purposely planted in gardens or containers. We may start seeds in a greenhouse; using small pots, we cultivate the soil, plant and water the seeds, we shelter and watch them grow — not disturbing them until they’re well rooted and strong. All this, intentionally done to ensure vigorous growth and rich produce.

Using this picture to draw an analogy, this is sort of what happens in our lives when we consciously plant seeds for God’s glory and our good — seeds that pertain to life and godliness through knowledge of the Lord. Seeds of faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, wisdom, godliness, kindness and love. Good seeds.

But other sorts of seeds grow, too. Bad seeds…. little seeds we overlook. And though we wouldn’t want to admit we seem to intentionally do things that plant, feed and water bad seeds, the produce and unintended consequences are unmistakable. If we sow seeds of envy or jealousy or greed or lust, we’re going to reap a tangled harvest of regret, shame, bitterness, discontent and death. We don’t set out to be bitter or discontent or angry — in fact, we may say we despise those sinful behaviours. But unless we guard against “little seeds” of envy, jealousy, lust, a critical spirit or hate taking root in our lives, we’re going to be discontent, bitter, mean and destructive. All of these will spill over into all areas of our lives and damage everyone around us.

[cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]I’m reminded over and over again from the pictures the Lord gives us in nature, and drawing from experiences in my own life, that seeds grow — some rapidly, some slowly, some intentionally and some unintentionally planted, but they all grow — they all produce something.[/cp_quote] One type of tree or another will grow and symbolize our lives: fruitful and healthful or bitter and poisonous. One will be life giving and comforting and the other will be oppressive and bring death. Big trees start from very small seeds.

I look out the window and see all sorts of strong, beautiful, vigorous plants in well watered gardens. But I also see the glaring consequences of not regularly tending the gardens this year: weeds. I obviously didn’t but should’ve been pulling them along the way since I’m so familiar with their deep roots, the damage they cause and how difficult they are to eliminate once they’re this mature.

It’s humbling to see that every seed grows… good and bad, and it’s painful to recognize weeds and bad seeds that have taken root in my heart. So all these observations today have served to be instructive and a powerful reminder — I’m instructed to examine what I’m taking in each day, what I’m allowing to be planted in the “garden of my mind,” to see if there be any root of bitterness in me, to see if I’m harbouring jealousy or pride or envy, to see if I am critical or rude or boasting, and also to see if there are springs of joy and gladness, to see if the fruit of gratitude is flowing from a thankful heart, to see if faith is flourishing, to see if love is being cultivated. Painful as it seems sometimes, I must allow the Master Gardener to continue pruning and working His perfect will in my life. This I know: the fruit of His work is sweet.

…feelings in the spin cycle

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Do you ever feel like your feelings or your emotions are in a spin cycle — as if life’s experiences or circumstances are spinning out all your feelings or emotions? Sometimes my washer spins so long I wonder how in the world there’s any moisture at all left in the clothing or the towels or whatever. That’s how some days feel to me emotionally. Sometimes. Emotions completely spun out.

I remember feeling like that when I had babies and children to care for each day — only it wasn’t emotions, necessarily, it was energy — that, or collapsing into bed feeling incapable of doing or hearing or saying one more thing.

What got me thinking this this afternoon is that I’ve been reviewing the experiences (and feelings) of the last couple of days. No, nothing happened particularly — there’s no big story or anything here. It’s just a combination of things and I writing this in hopes that if one other person is helped — if one other mother is encouraged — the thoughts and emotions of this day will have been worth it.

As I was reading my Bible this morning, I was struck by the grace of God in Jesus to be so patient with the throngs of people who were following Him, the Disciples who clamoured for His attention and parable’s explanations and meanings. Too often lately I feel like the Disciples who (just after the feeding of the four thousand – Luke) climbed in the boat and had brought no provisions for the journey. The compassionate Lord Jesus reminded them what had just transpired… I’m like them, too, sometimes… seeming to not understand I’m His–I’m in His hands.

I’ve been reliving mental images, conversations and family photos shared while my cousin and his family visited this past weekend. Family, as with old friends, have history that bonds the relationship and continually adds to and stirs up history and emotion. My uncle — my cousin’s father — committed suicide forty-five years ago. We don’t talk much about it but we never get away from it either. Co-Incidentally, last night I received a message by John Piper and listened to it… sweet of the Lord and His timing. More feelings… emotions…

This morning, my friend came and shared a concern she was having about the effects of suicide in a family… I was immediately empathetic to her impassioned plea for prayer and strength for the day. I shared my compassion for her plight.
My husband reminded me of a Billy Graham film clip — I watched it… and I marveled that I had just last night affirmed with a promise that I will not go there — I will not play that card — the suicide card. It’s a card I’ve kept in my deck all these years — actually a little longer than the forty-five years, for my grandfather had committed suicide just three and a half years prior to that. It’s been a ‘go-to’ thought when my emotions are spinning out… it’s a ‘go-to’ thought when I rehearse my failures in life… it’s a ‘go-to’ thought when I know I’ve let someone down or when I’ve caused a problem in life… it’s a ‘go to’ thought when I feel inadequate or attacked.

But God.
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” –Romans 5.8

The Truth shall make you free. Truly, the Truth shall make you free.

“Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” –Romans 5.1-5

So when I was shopping and noticed an old friend in the store, I felt a sudden wave of some unfounded inadequacy washed over me, I immediately rehearsed my failures in that relationship — but had to just as quickly remember that they were dealt with and I determined to “be of one mind and so far as it depended on me to live at peace…” (my paraphrase of verses in Romans 12). It was a sweet, brief meeting. I’m glad to have been there.

Maybe you have been dealing with a bunch of emotions, feelings, inadequacies, regrets or plaguing responses to life’s circumstances… I just want to encourage you to rest, to refresh your mind with the Truths of God’s Word and rejoice in His finished work on your behalf. If your feelings are in the spin cycle, Remember what He’s done for you…

“Having eyes, see ye not? and having ears, hear ye not? and do ye not remember? When I brake the five loaves among five thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up? They say unto Him, Twelve. And when the seven among four thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up? And they said, Seven. And He said unto them, How is it that ye do not understand?” –Mark 8.18-21

I pray the Lord will bless you with His great grace for this day…

Pressing on in truth

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I thought of the Scripture today where Paul is talking about pressing on and is saying, “… I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” And I found myself saying, but I just can’t seem to do that. You know, the forgetting what’s behind and pressing on.

O, it’s easy to realize I haven’t attained to something or haven’t apprehended something—that’s easy to see. But it’s not so easy to see the ability to reckon myself to be resolved to forget what’s behind and press on—press toward the mark. And then I realized something I don’t think I’ve noticed (or at least I cannot currently recall noticing) that I have, and have had, a wrong focus. I’ve been focusing on the thing I’m trying to leave behind and I’ve been focusing on what’s ahead in light of what’s behind instead of simply focusing on the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

So what is that high calling? Is it the ability to forget or move on from the mistakes I’ve made, or the wrongs I’ve done, or the sins I’ve committed, or my motherhood failings? Is it to continually recall the failures of my yesterdays and yet recite the script? It’d be so easy to just say: not that I totally get this faith walk, but I am going to move past my failures and press on. And it would be all about me.

And then I marvel at the love of the Lord. I marvel that He is the focus. His life is the pursuit. It’s not so that I can move on and not ache with regret over yesterday that Jesus redeemed my life. Jesus redeemed my life because He loves me and wants me to walk with Him, yield my life to Him, give my hopes and dreams to Him. He redeemed my life that I could bring Him glory and honour… and inexplicably, so that He could show me the marvelous plan and purpose He has for me in this glory-giving, honour-giving life! He died for me that I might know Him, that I might have the fullness of joy, that I might have life – and that, everlasting! And so, why do I press on? That I may know Him.

Wherever you are today, you can know Him… your life is precious and He loves you. If you die tonight, you will either be in heaven or hell for eternity. That’s the truth. Sin separates us from God – do you know that? But there is a remedy — an eternal remedy and it is life, atoning death and life giving resurrection of the Lord Jesus. That’s the truth. We’ve all been separated from God but those who put their trust in Him and call on the name of the Lord Jesus will be saved. That’s the truth. It’s not by works, it by grace through faith in Him. That’s the truth.

You may have, to this point, not repented, not turned from sin and yielded your life to Christ… But today you have this choice before you… you may have failed in the past, but not today… you may have felt unworthy… but God…
Read this from Ephesians chapter 2:
4 But God, who is rich in mercy, for His great love wherewith He loved us,
5 Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)
6 And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:
7 That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus.
8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.

I pray you’ll go get your Bible… and read more of His great love for you… what He’s done for you… and the life eternal that’s yours in Christ Jesus. This is the truth.

Validation, Can You Relate?

blueheartmughalf The more time passes, the more I realize how much I need “relating” affirmation or validation. It’s not that I need affirmation in order to do something so much as affirmation that what I’ve done (or am doing) matters. I find myself asking (either literally or mentally), can you relate? or know-what-I-mean? Validation, kwim? For the last month or so, I’ve been mulling over the thought of “validation” the need/desire for validation. It’s sort of an assurance of being on the right track, or having done something well, or, in some cases, assurance that you’re not alone in whatever failure you’re experiencing or have experienced. Trouble is, most of us rarely get to that needed validation because we don’t pass through the gates of vulnerability very often — that, or our focus is misplaced, or we’re not really doing what we’re called to be doing.

Can you relate?

I’ve made some decisions in the last few months that I haven’t had to (or wanted to?) make in a long time. The convergence of several things in my life have forced me to really examine what I’m doing (or not doing) and why. This has led me to make decisions to get back to doing “first things” (the profitable, intentional, prioritized) things I used to do that for whatever reason I’ve slacked off or neglected to keep diligently doing. Thus, I’ve looked square in the face of reality that I wasn’t doing many things I wanted to do — and know I should’ve been doing — but had, somewhere along the way, forgotten. They were small and gradual steps and slides here and there. Apathy, lack of purpose, lack of “validation” — or maybe a combination of these — along with major life changing events — had to be addressed and dealt with. Then… a new plan of action had to be formed. When the Lord’s in something, His promptings ought not be ignored. This I know. I also know that when He’s in something, He’s dumping a whole bunch of grace in the mix in order that we’ll walk on in faith — the seeing yet not seeing; believing yet not knowing.

Instantly, I jumped into the new battle. And didn’t realize it to be a battle until after I’d jumped in. The devil doesn’t seem to attack slack. He doesn’t seem to attack sloth. Or any other thing that falls into those categories. But he mocks them here and there with those barbs: I can’t believe you did/do that, etc., etc. and he head-on attacks faith, obedience, trust and a whole host of other “I-will’s” that we dedicate to the Lord.

Can you relate?

But I jumped in and stayed in — and am staying in — the battle. And, by faith and by grace, I’m staying in (winning and losing, winning and losing) because I know that I know that I know it’s what I must/what I oughtta/what I wanna do. It’s what I’m called to do. I’m not talking about works-based-faith or appearance-based-faith, I’m talking about believing God and doing what I’m called to do as a Christian wife, mother, homemaker, homeschooling mama, and a whole lot of other things. It dawned on me that I’ve been wishing for validation or affirmation for what I’m doing — when really, the truth is, the validation or affirmation of my life is that I attend to what the Lord has given me to do and called me to be. And in a mysterious way, validation or affirmation comes — but, strangely, not — or not often — in ways I previously thought they should. Validation shows up when I least expect it. Affirmation comes from sources I’d never have guessed.

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All the while, I’m continually refining and “redefining” what’s important, and how to order each day to accommodate these activities and things I thought I didn’t have time for. But I did have time for them—but it took reclaiming squandered time to set the order and redeem that time. Redemption. The ultimate validation.

Can you relate?

[/cp_quote] So I press on. Some recent life changes have presented me with opportunities or open doors to do things I’ve forgotten to do and things I’ve never done before. They started, though, with a few decisions I made in the middle of these major life changes several months ago and have continued to play out as I yield myself to plans, schedules and order.
As an example, I decided that I would get involved with activities that were available to me at our local church. Some have been quite a stretch–meeting new friends, addressing old problems, finding grace in new solutions; some have taken me “back-to-basics” as a homeschooling mama, some have taken me back to vulnerable accountability in a Bible study.

Stand For Life

That’s what missing in the Planned Parenthood equation: Love. That life is precious, that man was made in God’s image and that God in His great love and mercy created us all. All of us. May we stand for life and do so in Love.

It’s hard to remember the humanity behind egregious behavior sometimes. That, and our own desperate need for the same love, respect, patience, forgiveness and forbearance despite our own sinful behaviour, our sin-filled pasts, our lapses of good judgment, our folly. We forget, in viewing inhumane behaviour, in the heat of disagreement, and frustration and horrified emotion, that we, but for the grace of God could be in their very same shoes. Planned Parenthood’s barbaric practice of killing — destroying life — dismembering babies and contracting with companies the sale and distribution of those body parts is so grotesque that it’s hard to even imagine — it’s incomprehensible. The astonishing thing about this though, is that even though it so assaults our senses that we cannot fathom how civilized individuals could possibly engage in such activity, let alone organize it, the truth is: we are could be doing, or are capable of doing, the very same thing. That’s a sickening thought, isn’t it?

[cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved. He that believeth on Him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.”[/cp_quote]We know we need it — even demand it at times, but everyone needs love and patience and forgiveness and hope. It’s what distinguishes us as human. But what also distinguishes us as human is that without Christ, without accepting the gift of salvation through Him, we are destined for hell, we are unrestrained, we are unredeemed. It is a gift and it is by the grace of God that we can even see this — that He loved us while we were yet sinners and died in our place that we might have redemption through His shed blood and live with Him eternally. Sin eternally separates us from God but Jesus, who is the Way the Truth and the Life, breaks the bonds of sin and separation and gives us redemption by grace through faith in Him. Jesus came that we might have life and that more abundantly. This is the love of God.That’s what missing in the Planned Parenthood equation: Love.

That life is precious, that man was made in God’s image and that God in His great love and mercy created us all. All of us.

May we stand for life and do so in Love.

May we stand for those whose voices have been destroyed.

May we stand with those who think they have no other options; give them love, give them the truth, give them hope.
May we stand for Truth.

May we stand against destroying life.

May we stand against selling body parts of destroyed babies.

May we remember to be: p.e.a.c.e.f.u.l.

May we remember to be: k.i.n.d.

May we remember to: Love.
May we ever remember that everyone’s going through something.

Foundational Verses

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Through the years as I’ve walked with the Lord, as I’ve walked (or crawled) through the Bible, I’ve marked meaningful verses or passages. In doing so, I’ve come to see a pattern for myself: foundational verses that I run to, or stand on, regardless my circumstances.

They are my mental go-to Scriptures when I face trials; they are my affirmations when I see specific provisions or His specific answers to prayer. I say ‘His specific answers to prayer’ bcz they are not necessarily the answers to the prayer requests I made, but surely the answers to the prayers I prayed. Does that make sense? In fact, it’s a good thing when the Lord does not answer the prayers I pray using the suggestions or solutions I offer Him. It’s a good thing He answers according to His will, in His way and in His timing. I’m learning to more quickly recognize and thank Him specifically for this.

O, I’d be in a heap of trouble were He to answer my prayers according to my judgment. I pray or make requests or give offerings to Him according to what I have in my hand – my resources and my understanding — but His answers are according to His limitless resources and His infinite wisdom.

I’m learning to do art journaling in my KJV Journaling Bible. I’m not “an artist” and don’t have the drawing or design skills to do beautiful artwork in the generous space on each page. But I have begun my feeble attempts to highlight specific verses or passages in an artistic way — I use glitter pens, sharpie “no bleed” pens, and water colour pencils to write or illustrate my favourite or foundational verses. I recently decided to make a Pinterest page with links to Bible art journaling images and art supplies — thinking that since they were an inspiration to me, maybe they’d be of help to other sisters in the Lord, too. I’ve thought many times: I’ll never be able to make pages like Karla Dornacher’s beautiful pages… but then I realized that mine won’t and don’t have to look like that to be meaningful to me. Chastened by my own recent blog posts regarding comparisonitis or comparing ourselves with others, I just decided to simply consider the examples and made a determination to not compare my work with theirs, but to glean and be instructed or inspired by the ideas.

As I’ve struggled in different areas of my life, I see the one constant, strong thread is faith and trust in the Lord—and that the struggles are the challenges or testings of my faith and trust. [cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]If thou put the brethren in remembrance of these things, thou shalt be a good minister of Jesus Christ, nourished up in the words of faith and of good doctrine, whereunto thou hast attained. 1Timothy 4.6
[/cp_quote]When I faint in the day of adversity, my strength is small and when I’m alarmed at situations or feel impending doom when I hear of problems, I see in that initial response (and a red flag) that my eyes are not on the Lord, they’re on my circumstances; my hope is dashed when it’s based on what I see around me—but it’s bolstered when I place all my hope Him. This is why I determine to be in the Word, to be fortified by it and to be strengthened in faith—the faith of Jesus. And I assure you, it is an act of faith or an act of obedience to be in the Word and in prayer—these are not natural desires, these are truly, literally, God given desires. Left to myself, I would fret or despair or give up hope–but in faith, I press on (Philippians 3.14). It’s what Jesus did, it’s what He calls me (and you) to do and it’s where I find Him each day. It’s the foundation on which I stand.

Flee Comparisonitis

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Maybe you saw my thoughts yesterday where I wrote about Comparisonitis or making comparisons and how easy it is to become ensnared by this. Comparing ourselves to others, comparing our situations to other’s situations (or our perception of their situations), our accomplishments (or lack thereof) to other’s accomplishments (as we perceive them to be). Then we spend precious moments or days or years mulling over what we have or haven’t done (right), what we do or don’t have, what we have to deal with — compared to others. [Late edit to add a link to another article I wrote regarding Titus2 blogs, groups and teachings — I call it: Compare-a-Titus. There are so many comparisons we make are often bogged down by the lack we often feel as “TitusTwo” women. You can read it here.]

When these thoughts come up, I know I need to flee these thoughts. Flee! And quickly.

I’ve come to realize that when I compare myself with others or my whatever’s with other women’s whatevers, I inadvertently make them the standard to which I seek to attain. I make them the guide and standard of my life instead of making the Lord, His Word, His way, and His truth for me the guide and standard of my life.

We know that medically or pathologically, “itis” is inflammation, which, in an organ of our body, is a bad thing and we seek quick attention to reverse or eliminate it as it’s usually painful and damaging. But we don’t often do this in our own lives when it comes to inflammation of thoughts or feelings. We often, instead, harbour the thoughts that brought on the inflammation, we feed them and encourage them by continuing to validate them. I do this sometimes — though I know it’s not good — not good for me, and not good for my home and family. In this way, I unwittingly spread my “itis” to them — they know something’s not right, but can’t see what it is. That’s why (in part) it’s so critical for me to flee making comparisons before they become in me: comparisonitis.

Incidentally, by continually making comparisons (especially if voiced), I validate the activity (and further cement it in my emotional pathways). I model it for my children and set them up for their own comparsonitis. In addition, I elevate another’s situation or accomplishments or possessions over my own. Again, validating making comparisons for my children to do the same — if I don’t want this attitude/behaviour for me, I sure don’t want it for them.

So when it comes around, I have to make the conscious decision to flee comparing before it wiggles its way deep into my thoughts. When I see that I can’t do something like, or a wells as, another person does them, I need to just be content that I do what I can do and I can choose to rejoice at their fine work or rejoice with them over their accomplishment. Then, my heart is warmed bcz it’s all about them and not about me. The more I do this through the years, the more easily and quickly comes the response of rejoicing.

When I feel like I never do enough, right enough, good enough, whatever enough, I have to see that as an alert! Compared to what? Compared to who? Did the Lord tell me that or did I take my eyes off Him and fix my gaze on someone or something else? Do I not have something I feel I should have? Is He not enough? Has He not provided exactly what I need for each day? Has He forgotten something? Or — have I run ahead, doing something He never directed me to do or in a way He never directed me to do it? Did I get out of order my reason for doing something? Have I made my life hard by doing something in a way He didn’t intend for me (but I was trying to do it like So-‘n-so)?

Discontent is tremendous fodder for comparisonitis. And vice versa. [cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. –Hebrews 13.5[/cp_quote]So I continually resort to the Word, it is my foundation. After all these years I finally see why He says His mercies are new every morning. I see the why behind the great and awesome privilege to daily sit at His gates. The Lord reveals Himself, magnifies Himself and feeds me as I read and think on His Word. I trust in Him and seek to follow in His steps.

I continually rehearse what He has done, for I know and have seen(!) that no matter what comes, I can truly trust Him and lean on His promises.

But he knoweth the way that I take:
when he hath tried me,
I shall come forth as gold.
–Job 23:10

Comparisonitis

cuppatimothy It sure took me by surprise… hasn’t happened in a long time… and, when it does, it rarely lingers. Except today. Today it lingered awhile and I completely caught off guard. I was busily cleaning an area and reorganizing a bunch of books… I even had a ridiculous Christmas song stuck in my head. And then, all of a sudden I was overwhelmed thinking of some of my abysmal failings as a mother – a homeschooling mother, specifically. And I was trying to think of one good thing I’ve done — one really exceptional achievement in which I had even a small part.

I can’t say I’ve done my best as a homeschool mama. I can’t say I’ve dedicated my life to homeschooling. And, I can’t say there’ve been many stellar achievements — as the world might measure. And I wouldn’t have even taken the time to bore you with this seemingly self-deprecating post had I not “snapped out of it” and considered God’s great work and His continuing processes! And then to further be encouraged as I came in to browse my links, I saw a post Tim Challies had written. It sort of paralleled my resulting thoughts today and something my husband had told me a few days ago (wait, was I inundated with doubt that day, too??) which really spoke to my heart.

I thought, well, what have we done? My husband has daily, decade after decade, gathered the family every morning for Bible study (Co-Incidentally, this morning, we were studying Deuteronomy 6), and I’ve done my best to teach them using the truths of God’s Word and to, by example, trust in the Lord and live by faith in Him. I’ve sought to make our assignments according to His Word and show them that He is always only good all the time. I got a lot of stuff wrong. Probably more wrong than right. But, even if that’s the case, I will continue to cling to the Truth and I’m so thankful my husband’s words came back to me and rang in my ears.

[cp_quote style=”quote_left_dark”]”But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.”
–2 Timothy 3.14-17[/cp_quote]He said them in the beginning of our homeschool journey, some twenty eight years ago, he was saying them in the middle and he said them again as we plan for another school year in what is now the last few of our homeschooling years. I’m comforted that his earliest goal is the same today. He said he didn’t care if they were geniuses or lacked knowledge in this or that… his desire is that they know the Lord, that they know God’s Word very well… And beyond that, that they have integrity, that they know how to work diligently and honestly and that they know how to learn whatever it is they need to learn. That sounds so very simplistic, I’m sure. But I will continue to affirm and trust what the Bible says.

All this, on a day when I had comparisonitis wash over me. But as I set out, as I always do this time of year, to make this the best year ever, I’m reassured that what I plan is the very best thing I could do with and for them. And in the end, I will continue to trust God for the increase.

It’s critical for me to reaffirm and truly rejoice in, as Tim Challies so poignantly wrote, the one thing that matters most.