Category: Potpourri

Christmas Letters

I love receiving Christmas letters each year — I read them — some, many times. I read them to the family and take the enclosed photos and hang them on our kitchen cabinet doors.  I love the letters for so many reasons — maybe for as many different reasons as the number of letters received each year.

I often wonder how many drafts some writers attempted before the resulting letter was complete.  I say this because I attempted to write our Christmas letter no less than a dozen times this year.  Each draft wordier (no surprise there!) than the previous — then I’d write a rather perfunctory letter — and it sounded like it. Then I wrote intending to add photo highlights. But then I thought of all the things I wouldn’t have space to include.  After each sort of attempt — some, far along in the process:  I think, no… no, that’s not it.  Click: Ctrl A.   Click: Delete.  Computer lid: click.   Lights out: click.

Maybe tomorrow, I’d ponder as I drifted off to sleep… maybe tomorrow… maybe tomorrow I will write in such a manner as to concisely convey,  in less than a thousand words,  the story of a year in the life of a family.  All I could see was the hand of the Lord over two extremely thankful parents in rocking chairs: observing the marvelous lives of nine very busy adult children living at home and more beyond.

And so, more treasured letters and cards have arrived… more beautiful photos are on the cabinet doors… more tears of joy have been shed for the changes and blessings and losses and accomplishments the Lord has given family and friends.  Melancholy tears of joy… and the passage of time.

The Christmas letter is finished.  It’s even been printed.  And it’s incomplete to convey all the things I wish I could’ve written, because there’s so much more the Lord has done and taught us this past year than time or space allowed.  But… I’m glad we have something to send and a photo to put with it.  I’m really grateful it mattered enough to enough of our family here to push to do what I know I’ll be glad we did.

♥

The Latest Cool Stuff

You know when you’re sitting in you Doctor’s office waiting room and you sort of mindlessly thumb through the  magazines on the coffee table and you see things you didn’t even know existed or you see a half torn page and wonder what it was you missed?  Do you  log into Facebook or browse Google  News and see offers or Web ‘gadgets’ you don’t even understand?  Trend watchers, social engineers, movers and shakers all look for them: the latest cool stuff — the next big thing.

I remember when I first started blogging… I was keeping a journal of sorts on my website that I would update most every day — it was to keep visitors updated — it was a sort of  blend of In my kitchen today, things I was reading in the news, things I was doing around our house or what I’d added to the site.  I felt much more “folksy” or in touch with readers in those days than I do today — not just sure why — I didn’t have “comment” capabilities set up or anything like that, I just felt more in touch.  Anyway,  I’d delete the page and start a new one at the beginning of each month — each page decorated according to the season — even if it didn’t match the overall ‘decor’ of the site.  It was around that time that I started seeing the word: weblog.  I wondered, what in the world is a WEblog?    Yep, I read it that way, sought to understand it that way: WE blog.  A whaaa??    And I clicked links to WEblogs.  And I read them.  Duh: WEB(site) logs = Weblogs.  Those web-logs eventually became known simply as Blogs.  They were the next cool thing.   Thus, I began saving the old pages and starting new ones.  I didn’t know about blog software and couldn’t have imagined the proliferation of free publishing platforms and templates.

Around that time, “social networking” was also making its debut — though, technically, forms of internet “social networking” had been in place (internet bulletin boards, group lists, chatrooms, etc.)  for years.  But networks like Myspace, Facebook, etc., were the next cool thing.

Giant leaps of mind-boggling, technological wonders have dominated the “next cool thing” in the last few years.  And, if you’re over 30-35 years old (or so), I’m going to guess you’re in the “astonished” crowd — astonished, technologically speaking, anyway.  You’re in the crowd that had records, film cameras (the kind you had to pop a flash cube on top to take flash photos), 8-track tapes, tape-recorders, VHS movies, etc., etc.  And if you’re a lot older than that, you still think of carrying money in case you need to pay for gas or groceries, make a phone-call or leave a tip at a restaurant.  You still can’t believe you can drive in your car and talk to someone in, say, India, about your banking or your child in Africa.  In fact, you may still marvel that you can walk around your home talking on the phone instead of having to stand only as far from the permanently attached wall phone as your tangled up, coiled phone-cord would allow.  Maybe you still instantly think money when you hear a reference to: CD’s, you may still prefer/and use paper… paper sacks… subscribe to a daily paper, paper magazines, paper calendars, paper day-planners, paper letters, etc.  You may be like me… wondering what could come next…

And everyday there’s a new latest cool thing!  Not just in the technology/communication sector — but everywhere!  Just think of all the stuff we all *need* now… things we never *needed* before!  Things we now NEED, we never -ever- gave a thought to fifteen years ago.  Or ten years ago.  We never needed as much stuff as we need today.  It’s amazing.  And the need are seemingly exponential — there’s just too much cool stuff!  And, by the way… I’m not limiting needing cool stuff to tangible things. 

Just consider all the *ad-ons* and internet tools!!  Clothing, home decor, books, (per)versions of the Bible, methods for cooking, cleaning, studying, writing, music…

So, if you’re wondering what the latest cool thing is… stay tuned… maybe you and I will discover a new cool thing — or, you can look here: Cool Things.

Mary Thoughts Martha Hands

I just came across a little note in my basket… and thought, this is just what I’m needing!  The reminder to have a Mary heart and a Martha mind was the gist of the note.  I’m personalizing it a bit to be: Mary thoughts and Martha hands.   I must be in the Word and in song in order that my heart and mind are stayed on heavenly things.  I must be in the Word and in song that my hands and plans are stayed on heavenly things — working at or accomplishing good things.

This is such a needful  reminder that in all my Martha-ing around our home, I must cultivate, guard and increase my Mary-ing!    I tend to get sidetracked, and as I get busy – I become myopic and outcome oriented far too often!  I’ve come to understand through a series of different experiences that I tend to focus on the job at hand instead of the people around me.  This is something I daily working to change — daily seeking to re-work in my life and home. I must stop and be Mary — I must stop and regroup remembering that in all my Martha-ing, I need be be Mary-ing along the way.  I often forget to be resting at the feet of Jesus in my work – resting at the feet of Jesus in my planning – resting at the feet of Jesus in my mothering.

Mary and Martha — in case you’re wondering at the reference of this,  it’s Luke 10.38-42

Now it came to pass, as they went, that He entered into a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha received Him into her house.  And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word.   But Martha was cumbered about in much serving and came to Him and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Bid her therefore that she help me.   And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things;  but only one thing is necessary, and Mary has chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

Instead of integrating work and worship, I often live as if the two are different compartments of homemaking.  I need to remember and guard the fact that work and worship must blend — that my work is a service of worship!  Thus: A Mary Heart and a Martha mind – Mary thoughts and Martha hands.

And so when the days are long and the tasks are many, the family is scattered and the schedules are hectic… my focus mustn’t change — my heart mustn’t change — my thoughts must remain the same: He alone is my joy and strength, He alone is my hope and my song.  So, no matter what’s going on around me, I must cultivate this by daily investing time in the Word and in prayer, daily seeking the Lord’s divine guidance and presence — daily seeking and listening to the Voice of the Lord… following His Word, rehearsing His promises, turning away from the lies of the enemy and listening to Truths in song.

May the Lord bless you in all your Martha-ing with a Mary heart and mind.

 

Vision

A dear friend recently wrote a letter regarding losing vision and had several thoughts regarding the danger of lacking vision, and the importance of having vision or purpose.  I’ve mulled that over.  And over.  I empathized and I actually sort of felt sick at the thought, the tragic thought of losing vision.

And then it struck me (but it wasn’t the first time) that I’ve lost vision.  If you’ve never “lost vision” before, then it’s probably hard to understand how someone could go along, have a great track to run on and then suddenly lose vision.  But it happens.  And if it’s happened to you, you understand. You totally understand.

I started losing vision a long time ago.  For some things — not for everything, for some things.
I got off track — or was rolling down what I see now was a sort of parallel track — thought I was going along fine.  But a parallel track that’s off by 1 degree soon is off by a gaping distance.  In the beginning it’s not so noticeable.  And, maybe for quite a while it’s not so noticeable… but down the way a bit — it’s very noticeable.  Usually to everyone except the one who’s in the car on the now-not-so-parallel track.

I’ve been very tempted to stop writing.  You know… listening to enemy’s voice: why do you write, you don’t have anything to say, you’re worthless, you don’t have any wise words and on and on.  I was tempted to stop accepting invitations to share with women in different venues.  And I did — I did stop altogether.  For a time.  And then I thought: wait a minute — everything I believed I still believe. Everything that was previously important is still important. I may have made a mess out of a lot of things.  I should have done so many things differently.  But I didn’t — and time went by. I’m thankful for the Lord’s great blessing of encouragement and re-creation!  By His grace, many — if not most — of the trials that I thought I’d never pass through have been redeemed and used for my good and His glory.  I wait on Him for finish the work He’s begun — for I know that I know He will complete the work.

Some of my experiences may seem like failures, or circumstances may have changed, but the Truths I stand on, the Truths that guide and inspire me have not changed.   I was tempted — have been tempted many, many times to drop commitments, drop the website, drop this blog, drop other writing projects and move on.  The website’s antiquated.  This blog’s out of date.  The many writing projects are unfinished.  The vision for all these things seemed lost.

The best thing about space and time is that perspective is gained in the passage of time and vision is gained from distance to an object.  For both, clarity is a great blessing.  My indecision has turned out to be a blessing  — I don’t really want to dump the website — it took twelve years to build — it can be redone, it can be redeemed.  And I don’t want to quit writing — I love to write.  I’ve been redeemed.  The Lord has given me a great opportunity. And I really don’t want to miss opportunities to share messages with sisters in the Lord — because He has given me so much.  He has turned my messes into messages.

So, now…
Some of the messages have become messes.
Some of the messes have become messages.

And thinking on this has given me a new vision.  The messages that have become messes?  I’ve decided not to just dismiss them entirely for they are part of who I am and where I’ve been, but I hope to turn them, by the grace of God, back in the messages.

So, now…
My new vision is to clean up some of the messes, give them new meaning.  Share some of the messages that have come from the messes and, again, by the grace of God, be a vessel He can use.  I might add, I’m sure thankful for the husband the Lord gave me — why the Lord blessed me so, I will never know but I’ll be forever grateful!  His insight, his perspective is a gift.  I know, we women tend to see things as all or nothing sometimes — and it takes a wise husband to point out the anchor is still holding… that the ship may be tossing or listing to one side or the other — but the Anchor holds.  The Anchor holds.

Only God can:
turn a MESS into a MESSAGE;
a TEST into a TESTIMONY;
a TRIAL into a TRIUMPH;
a VICTIM into a VICTORY.

Time takes time

In my drafts bucket I have a whole bunch of half-begun and mostly unfinished drafts of letters and blog entries I intended to send or post.  Many never get finished.  I either don’t have time or I don’t have enough of the “rest of the story” in my head to complete the work.  Usually, it’s the former, not the latter.

So, time takes time.  I’ve said this to myself, to my children, to other women… I’ve thought this many, many times.  I’ve usually thought this as a self-reminder when a situation seems to be unchanging or a problem seem to linger: give it time.  We all know that things take time — wounds take time to heal, friendships take time to bloom, paint takes time to dry.  But we’re impatient, aren’t we!?!  We want what we want: now.  We weary of waiting.   We need answers.  We must have resolution.  We can’t wait another day… and on and on.

I recall saying many times: time heals all wounds (in my head I add, for personal entertainment: time wounds all heels).  But then I mentally slap myself for retaliatory indulgence and determine not to think that thought again — for I sincerely do not wish to inflict injury on anyone – but can’t resist the play on words.   And though I still believe that time heals all wounds, I think  I’d better clarify that it’s not the passage of time that heals wounds — it’s what goes on in the passage of time that heals wounds.  The Word and work of God heals wounds — and it seems He uses many things to do so.  Faith heals wounds.  A different perspective over time heals wounds.  Repentance (ours or theirs) heals wounds.  Humility heals wounds. Forgiveness (again, ours or theirs) heals wounds.

But it takes time.  Things take time.  Time takes time.

In the fall, we plant garlic.  Preparing the soil takes time.  Marking the rows takes time.  Planting takes time.  All through the winter, the ground looks barren.  Nothing’s happening — or so it seems.  In the spring, the little sprouts appear and by early summer the garlic looks mature enough to harvest.  But it’s not.  Not yet.  It needs a little more time.  Even after it’s harvested, we hang it up to dry… still more time passes.  Time… takes time.

A couple of years ago I pruned, dug up, divided and replanted a very large hydrangea.  It looked pitiful.  Last year it, and the divided plants, looked pitiful, still, with its sparsely leafed, woody canes and no flowers at all.  This year it’s filling out nicely — but still, no flowers.   And it may well be that there’ll not be a single flower on the whole bush again this year.  But it’s nicely shaped and its leaves are strong and full.  Time.  It just needs more time.

Life breaks and falls apart.  Sometimes it’s relationships, sometimes things.  When things in our lives break we learn to pick up the pieces, bond them together and patch the cracks.  In time, we carefully begin to use the vessel again — this time, more patiently, more carefully — knowing from experience that the vessel is precious and the cracks have added much value to its worth.

Sometimes in life we get to experience the humbling reality with keen awareness that the broken thing was repaired not discarded.  The Lord’s work, in time, healing all wounds.

So, in the passage of time — whether in the garden or in my home or in my heart — I’m learning that I must often stand still and let some time pass.  I must stand still and see the salvation of the Lord in that circumstance.  But in that standing still, I’m not just standing still.  I’m waiting.  I’m watching.  I’m trusting.  I’m yielding.  I’m obeying.  And, though it might look like nothing’s happening outwardly — the work that’s being done inwardly is priceless:  I’m leaning on the Lord and He is working in me by His grace,  the gift of patience and hope.

Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
But let patience have her perfect work,
that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
James 1.3-4

My-o-my, I’m learning these things… and they’ve been so worth the learning!  I’m learning to redeem the time!   Time takes time… and it’s priceless.

 

Independence Day 2011

It’s Independence Day here in the States.  Independence Day… the day we celebrate many things – Freedom, Family, Life, Independence — not being dependent on another country for our country’s governance or control — in this case, independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain.

All over the valley, though nightfall is many hours away, the booms are sounding and fireworks dot the sky.  The humming of the  Star Spangled Banner seems to be in the breeze.  We have an old flag — each stripe pieced with heavy, cotton thread and each year I hang it from the flagpole on our front porch.  It has forty-eight stars (God bless Alaska and Hawaii and the year of their admission!) and some small holes in it that’ve been mended.   It represents the history of  this nation — and I’m so glad to have it waving in the breeze today!

I guess that’s why I grieve the governmental decisions that seem to disregard the intent and design of the government the Founders were given for this nation.  Further, I would join the many in decrying the systematic disregard of Providence and the squandering of the liberties and freedoms for which innumerable soldiers gave their lives and in an egregious about-face: the bondage to government interference, intrusion and control.  And yet… even in these often discouraging events, truly it is a great blessing to have been born in this country, to experience the abundance of the land, the majestic beauty, the incredible gifts, options, opportunities and the bounty we have. all. around. us.

So, thank You, Lord for this beautiful land… America, God’s grace shed on thee… because of the Lord, the home of the free because of the brave.

O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America!
God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!
O beautiful for pilgrim feet
Whose stern impassion’d stress
A thoroughfare for freedom beat
Across the wilderness.
America! America!
God mend thine ev’ry flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law.
O beautiful for heroes prov’d
In liberating strife,
Who more than self their country lov’d,
And mercy more than life.
America! America!
May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness,
And ev’ry gain divine.
O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears.
America! America!
God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea.

Wasting Experiences

Do you occasionally emerge from a situation — a conversation, a class, a conference… an experience — and say or think: Well, that was sure a waste of time or that was a wasted opportunity or that was a waste of money.   We do say or think those things, from time to time, don’t we?

What keeps us from saying that was a waste — or — what would keep up from saying or feeling that was a waste?

As  I’ve shared with you many times, I write a lot… I write in journals, I write on scraps of paper, in notebooks and post-it notes.  I take notes when I’m attending conferences, studies, prayer meetings and even when I’m out shopping I’ll make a note of something I’ve seen or read.  For many reasons I’ve done this through the years… I’m not exactly sure when or why I began doing this, but I must say, the practice sure has helped me to pay attention, to keep information I might otherwise forget and, probably more importantly, it helps me to have clear records or accounts of things I’ve heard or read.  You know how you hear something and later you attempt to recall it and your recollections are fuzzy or, worse, completely different than what actually occurred or what exactly was said?   I think it’s in those times that we might most often say of the event: well, that was a waste of time.

It’s been in those times, where I either didn’t pay attention or didn’t remember accurately what occurred or what was said, that I might tend to consider the time spent to have been a waste.

And then I realize:  that event, talk, conversation or whatever wasn’t a waste of time, it was my lack of interest, attention, response or involvement that made it — for me — a waste of time.  Or, in other words, I wasted the time.  What could have and really should have been for my benefit, education, enjoyment, betterment or encouragement was wasted on me.  Sort of like purchasing an expensive item and dropping it out the window of the car rather than taking it home and using it for the purpose intended.  What a waste — a waste of time, money and energy — but more, what a waste that the purpose or use of the item will never be accomplished.

I think of the many times the Lord has sent me a trial, a testing of my faith, a good word, a blessing, a sorrow… and I either rejected or questioned or disregarded what was sent my way.  A waste…

Several times in the last couple of years in particular, the Lord has allowed or brought about things in my life that have been quite painful, quite grievous, quite heavy and, frankly, some have been quite embarrassing.  But, interestingly, in most all of these times, I’ve been able to see or think — in the trial or in the experience — that God in His great wisdom had surely allowed the situation both for my good and His glory.  I wish I could say that all the events and experiences had this spiritual growth or influence — how blessed I would be today had I yielded to the Lord instantly or had I not wasted the experience.

So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth:
it shall not return unto me void,
but it shall accomplish that which I please,
and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
–Isaiah 55.11

So, in order that my experiences not be wasted, I must determine to pay attention, to yield to the Holy Spirit, to seek the Face of the Lord in every matter, in everything, so that the thing He sent will be accomplished in me.

When there are losses, misunderstandings, offenses, distractions, etc., etc., I see how the experiences can either bring fruit and thus, glory to God — or — they’re wasted me — on us.  Indifference, neglect, pride, arrogance, ignorance or whatever wastes the experience.  But, interestingly, that doesn’t mean that it returns to God void.  When we have losses, scars, pain or shame, it is amazing how God uses even those things to refine us – to mold us – to work in us His purposes.  Still I wonder how many blessings we miss, how much joy we miss because we allow ourselves to indulge in wasting experiences.

Worse, how many times to we miss a blessing — and waste an experience — because we listen to the devil and/or are swayed by his cunning.  And, truly, we are seeing the deceit, the gashes, the lies and smear marks of the devil all around us.  The doubting, the deception, misunderstandings, divisions in homes, friendships and churches, employees being wrongly accused, believers following lies… all these and more are sure evidences of the handiwork of the devil lurking in the shadows and ever prowling to see whom he may devour.  And a devourer, he is. A destroyer he is.  The accuser of the brethren he is.

O, that we would not miss the marvelous opportunities the Lord is presenting us.  O, that we would be found faithful to seek His Face in all things — to read His Word, to pray, to call out to Him in trials, to cry out to Him in the midst of fear, to trust Him in hardship, to lean on Him in times of grief, rejection and temptation — to praise Him in bounty, blessing and to be thankful: even in tragedy.  For all His ways are good… O, that we not waste another experience.

Keeping a journal or book of remembrance is a wonderful way to record and then keep for reference the ways and dealings of the Lord in your life… lest your experiences be wasted.

 

Things are looking up!

I just heard that phrase.  It has nothing to do with anything in particular, but I was just thinking:  doesn’t just hearing that phrase lift your thoughts?  Imagine if you were to be shopping for groceries this afternoon and you were to overhear someone in the next aisle say:  Things are looking up!  You’d probably smile and think, my-o-my… I wonder what’s happening with her?

What if your husband were to walk through the back doorway this evening and exclaim, Honey! Things are looking up! Or, consider hearing your son strolling into the kitchen announcing:  Ma, things are looking up! Imagine picking up the paper and reading the headline (regarding the economy, the weather or new modest clothing styles): Things are looking up!

Smile.

I’m thinking of saying the things are looking up phrase the next time I go to the store.  When asked, how’s your day going, I think I’ll try answering: Things are looking up! I mean, no offense here, but isn’t: things are looking up a bit more encouraging than, say, Better than I deserve? Or, how about: Good, thanks.  That just doesn’t offer anyone any hope or help at all.   But things are looking up just seems to be an invitation to smile — an encouragement to agree that things are indeed looking up!

‘Course, I’ll probably be fumbling with my rewards-card and my purse and cellphone and keys and debit card and I’ll probably just greet the cashier as I always do… in an attempt to bring out a smile by asking: How’s your day going?  And then in return I’ll probably just reply, Good, thanks!  And on the way out, I’ll remember: Things are looking up! doh!!

I hope I smile and remember the things are looking up phrase.  It’s so much cheerier than: Good, thanks.  

I’m cleaning some cabinets today, on this second day of summer.  It’s very bright and cheery — I have all the lights on in the kitchen and dining room.  Things are looking up!!

Stuff’s going to work out.

I know.  I’d probably grimace if one of my kids started an essay: “Stuff’s going to work out.”   But, it’s on my mind today: stuff — and how it works out.   But I want to begin by saying: stuff’s probably not going to work out how you thought it would — or even how you hoped it would — but, truly, in the end, stuff’s going to work out.

Last year, the year you’ve heard me describe as the most sorrowful year of my life,  I heard a song… it was one of two songs that so resonated with me that I played them over and over and over again.  Hymns and psalms and spiritual songs minister to my heart, they lift my thoughts heavenward and they seem to dispel the darkness of doubt and despair.

Over and over in my head I would hear the words, It’s going to be alright.  I knew this — because I knew that God only does all things well — but I also didn’t know this — do you know what I mean?  I didn’t know – know – know this because of what I was *seeing.*  What I was seeing looked to be anything but alright.  But in my wrestling, I knew the it was so big God must be in it.  In my wrestling I knew that none of it had escaped His gaze and that He would work it together for good.  He could not do anything other than that.  And I knew that.   But for ninety-seven days I struggled.  Struggle still.  Sometimes.

On the night that my whole world seemed to come crashing down around me I didn’t see that it was going to be alright.  I didn’t see how it could be alright.  Through a series of events, that led to one of our children leaving home for ninety seven days, I learned to see, believe, trust and hope in God as I never have before — and what I didn’t know at the time was that God was, indeed, using that event as an instrument to both chasten and strengthen me — to both humble and lift me — to crush me and to fill me.  I needed all of that — I needed it much more than I needed to know that it was all going to be alright.  What I needed to know was something I thought I knew but didn’t.   It was something I taught I knew but didn’t.  Maybe that’s a bit harsh — I guess, in reality, I knew as much as I knew of that truth — but I didn’t know as much I know of that fact now.

That child was longing for love, attention, time, affirmation… and I was busy.  I was distracted.  I was doing good things but not best things.  And that child went away — to my great shame, regret and sorrow — but by the grace of God returned ninety-seven days later.  Returned home, broken, completely restored and strengthened in faith and was genuinely welcomed home — such a beautiful testimony of the mercy and grace of God.  I, on the other hand, very humbled, broken and filled with such regret and sorrow, was still trying to gather up the shards and pieces of my life.  I am only now beginning to understand all that the Lord had for me in that lesson.  And,  I so do not want to miss anything He had for me in that very expensive and painful lesson — and though I’m not speaking financially at all, it was, truly,  a very costly lesson — I cannot afford to miss what He had, or has, for me in it/through it.

I won’t elaborate on the details of those days — but I’d like to say that the lessons I learned in that valley were and are very, very precious and have given me great hope and great faith in the Lord’s dealings with me — with us all.  He showed me, in so many ways, how resourceful and creative He is.  He showed me that none can pluck one of His little ones out of His hand.  He showed me that He cares for my child — my children — more and better than I ever could and He showed me He loved that little one… and never shifted His gaze.  And He loved me, too.  No matter that I did not deserve His mercy and His love.  He showed me that He loved me too much to leave me where I was – going on the track I was going.  I needed that correction.  I needed it so much.

One thing kept ringing through — I knew for certain all through that dark valley was that I was going to to need what I received there – I was going to need that faith, that hope and that trust in God.  I didn’t know how, I didn’t know why and I didn’t know when — but I knew I was going to need it.  I said to myself over and over: you’re going to need this.  You’re going to need this one.

And I did need it — not only for the following, but for many things since:  Only a couple of months later…  it didn’t take long and it wasn’t at all difficult to figure it out  when our missionary son returned from Africa – and then the following week lay sick in the hospital — in a coma, very sick with cerebral malaria.  It was then that I knew that I knew… the Lord truly is all I have and all I need.

It’s a real risk sharing stuff sometimes — but I think it would be pretty selfish not to.  If you barely hanging on… if you feel like you’re sinking in too deep… if there’s some pain that’s tearing you apart, then, would you cast your cares upon the Lord Jesus — would you trust Him that it’s all going to be alright — that He truly is going to work everything together for good — for your good and His glory.  He who cannot lie — cannot fail.  And He, who loved you first… loves you still.  And stuff’s going to work out.  Really… you have His Word on it.  Maybe not like you thought and not like you hoped… but stuff’s going to work out.

The words to the Sara Groves song: It’s Going to be Alright

It’s going to be alright, It’s going to be alright

I can tell by your eyes that you’re not getting any sleep
And you try to rise above it, but feel you’re sinking in too deep
Oh, oh I believe, I believe that

It’s going to be alright, It’s going to be alright

I believe you’ll outlive this pain in you heart
And you’ll gain such a strength from what is tearing you apart
Oh, oh I believe I believe that

It’s going to be alright, It’s going to be alright

When some time has past us, and the story if retold
It will mirror the strength and the courage in your soul
Oh, oh, I believe I believe,

I believe, I believe

I did not come here to offer you cliche’s
I will not pretend to know of all your pain
Just when you cannot, then I will hold out faith, for you

It’s going to be alright, It’s going to be alright

It’s going to be alright
It’s going to be alright 

I can tell by your eyes that you’re not getting any sleep
And you try to rise above it, but feel you’re sinking in too deep
Oh, oh I believe, I believe that

It’s going to be alright
It’s going to be alright

I believe you’ll outlive this pain in you heart
And you’ll gain such a strength from what is tearing you apart
Oh, oh I believe I believe that

It’s going to be alright
It’s going to be alright

When some time has past us, and the story if retold
It will mirror the strength and the courage in your soul
Oh, oh, I believe I believe,

I believe
I believe

I did not come here to offer you clichÈ’s
I will not pretend to know of all your pain
Just when you cannot, then I will hold out faith, for you

It’s going to be alright
It’s going to be alright

In the life of a blog…

It seems that at some point in the life of every blog there’s a post about blogs in general, about bloggers and why they blog or, specifically, a post about that blog and its purpose.

I don’t know why we do it, but every now and then we do it – we feel the need to amplify our purpose or we feel compelled to justify or defend our writing.

I love words. I love writing. I write all the time.  I occasionally post a few of the things I’ve written.  I have journals full of notes.  I have folders full of messages.  I have a bunch of books in my head that will never be published.  More often than not, I don’t write about the stuff that’s really going on — because too many things include — I mean, most things include — other people. Duh.

If I’ve learned nothing else in the last eighteen months or so it is this:  other people’s lives are other people’s lives.  My interaction, my involvement, my thoughts or reactions or actions or feelings must stringently take into account: other people.   This seems pretty elementary, pretty obvious and pretty shallow at first blush.  But, I assure you: it is not.

We go along thinking things are one way or some way and we find out later that they’re not as we assumed at all.  This is where the “other people” part comes into play.  This is where the experience of other people, the thoughts of other people, the impressions of other people, the reactions of other people completely change whatever it is you thought or felt about a situation.  You hear about, read about what someone else said, thought or felt about a situation or thought or felt about you and suddenly a new reality dawns on you.   Sometimes that new reality is sweet and refreshing and feels good.  Other times it’s not.

And you can never write about it.  Even though you desperately want to.

I say this (this being an entry on blogs, blogging &  bloggers – writers in general) because, face it, those of us who have an insatiable need desire to write usually have a bunch of thoughts on pretty much anything and everything.  Most bloggers have so much to talk about.  And occasionally talk too much.  I probably could’ve or should’ve simply left out the ‘occasionally’ in that last sentence.

But we often don’t talk about stuff, we don’t write about stuff that we’d really like to talk about or write about because lots of things involve other people and it’s more important to guard their hearts (or identity), preserve their reputation or feelings than it is to share our own commentary on the matter.  Most of us have to learn to draw a line regarding public and private information — that, and in some situations, our opinion is not all that important.   Some people have a harder time discerning between the two and too often walk too close to the line.  Or over it.  Problem is, it’s really very hard to know where that line is sometimes.

Foodies have weight problems sometimes.  Wordies make weighty problems sometimes.

In trying to be careful what I share about personal matters, family, sensitive issues and experiences,  I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s been both a blessing and a curse to be the kind of woman who shares stories, draws word pictures, communicates in analogies, etc., etc.  But I’d seriously rather run the risk of being authentically candid and transparent than to be so vague or guarded that my life or writing is misconstrued or deceptive.  There’s so much to say, encouragement to give from lessons learned, praises to share from blessings received.

So… I blog. And this has been one of those confessions-of-a-blogger posts.  Sort of .   I try to be relevant so that your time’s not wasted, I try to be helpful so your time’s well spent.  I confess, though, I must occasionally skirt issues, dance around the pink elephant in the room or try desperately to convey a thought without divulging a confidence.  And I hope I get it right.  I hope more often than not that I communicate effectively.  When in doubt, I don’t write.  Or I delete.  The empty gaps on the blog calendar are not empty gaps in my life.  I write much more than you read.

But when you read The Welcome Home blog I guess I’d like you to know that I hope you feel like I’m just talking stuff over with you here in my kitchen.  In the end I hope this blog’s an encouragement to you – I hope my getting through stuff helps you get through stuff – I hope my hardships become your strengths and I hope my discoveries  add to your life.  More, I hope that you know you have a friend who is praying for you, prays you’ll be inspired to live for Jesus, wants the best for you and really is glad you’ve come by.  God bless you, and thanks for reading.