Tag: Homemaking

What’s Pulling on Your Apron Strings

That might sound like a strange title to a message I want to share with you today, but perhaps by the time you finish reading this letter, you’ll have an idea and perhaps realize some things you’ve been wanting to take care of for some time.

So, what’s pulling on your apron strings?  You know… the thing or things that nag at you or that seem to be pulling at you from one direction or many.  You may be attempting to work around your home and keep having interruptions or distractions that prevent you from accomplishing what’s really needful.  You may have plans or schedules, or wish you had plans or schedules, and yet every day something, or many things pull on your apron strings and prevent you from meaningful or notable accomplishment.

I know I have these same feelings or experiences from time to time –sort of as if nothing seems to go right or nothing measurable ever seems to get done. It’s as if at the end of each week I have relatively little to show for my efforts and certainly none for the fatigue I might be feeling.  Yet, my apron’s dirty and the strings are raveled at the end.

Over the years I had great ambition for great things.  I wanted to spend time individually with each of the children each day; I wanted to spend time reading aloud, fixing their hair, assisting them with schoolwork, chores and prayers.  I had lofty aspirations that we would do projects, tell and record stories: that I would pass on valuable stories, life-lessons and a rich heritage…

But then, many days –most days– I would come to my bedside and realize that, once again, yet another day where I’d failed to reach my glorious ambitions.  Instead, we had just spent another day –another hum-drum day.  Together.

Pulling at my apron strings were all the wouldda, shouldda, couldda’s and few of the atta-girl’s, way-to-go’s and wahoo’s of life.  At the point I realized that all those marvelous and coveted accolades were simply unrealistic, I also realized I truly was getting all those atta-girl’s, way-to-go’s and wahoo’s of life.  I truly had them… I just wasn’t seeing them, that’s all.  I wasn’t seeing the “atta-girl” in my son’s: “Mom, will you fix this for me? I can’t do it.” Or, in my daughter’s: “Mama, you’ve got to write down these recipes for me or I will not ever be able to cook like you!”  Or, “O, my mom will do it for you, she’s right here!”  Or,  probably the sweetest gift of all I just received and it was contained in a letter, reading: “Mama… You are the best friend I’ve ever had.”

See, I missed the blessings by being concerned
about the unimportant things or on my failings
instead of what really was most important for that day.

Often, pulling on my apron strings are all the things I’ve done wrong as a mother, wife or friend.  Pulling on my apron strings are the things I don’t do well or the things I don’t have (as compared with my friends) or all the ways in which my children don’t *seem* to measure up (again, compared to others’ or compared with a high ideal or whatever).

Everyday, nagging thoughts creep in and occasionally pull me here and pull me there… and even get me all tied in knots sometimes over the silliest things – all tied up over things only the LORD can take care of or only the LORD knows about.  Sometimes all tied up over things I *imagine* to be so.  And then, I stop and think:  wait a minute… should these things be pulling at my apron strings, pulling me down in despair?  Should I be letting those thoughts come in and flood my mind, or should I take those thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ.

I know this to be a truth: I have never given to the LORD –any thought, desire, motive, whatever that was then rejected by Him.

He has never yet, will never, can never: fail me.  So then, I consider at thought or a pulling on my apron strings and I ask: is this of You, LORD? Or I say, I know this is not of You, LORD, and so I ask You to take this thought, desire, fear (or whatever), from me and I ask You to guide my thoughts, guard my heart and mind and help me to see only You.  Please hide me behind Your Cross, LORD.

O, sure, other women are going to have bigger, better, more than you or I; and sure, other families are going to have newer, brighter, more attractive homes, children, lives, accomplishments, etc., etc., than you or I.  But you know what?  They don’t get to be you—they don’t get to be me.  You’re uniquely you created by God, saved by Him unto faith and good works.  He loves you with an everlasting love and underneath you are His everlasting arms and in you is His eternal Spirit and surrounding you is His eternal joy of salvation in Christ Jesus.  Wow.  Now those are some pretty wonderful things.  Did you know you had all those treasures tucked in the pockets of your apron?

So, next time something starts pulling on your apron strings and you know it’s not simply one of the little blessings the LORD has given you, you just reach in your pocket and pull out one of the Truths of God’s Word and His love for you.

The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.
Jeremiah 31.3

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)  Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;  And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.”   2Corinthians 10.3-6

I pray the LORD will just bless you and bless you over and over and that you will be assured of His great love for you and that He will guide your steps and guard your thoughts.

always in His hands, love,  pamela

Write It All Down Before You Forget

If you spend time with me… you know it won’t be very long before you notice me writing something down.  I write lots of notes — I even write notes about notes.

Well, tonight in this “write it all down before you forget” blog entry, I actually want to encourage you to add more to your kitchen counter journal  or your kitchen log.  If you don’t have one, may I encourage you do get a notebook — preferably an inexpensive, but thick, “half sheet size” spiral notebook that you can keep in your kitchen to record your daily chores and activities, calls, appointments, lists, etc.  I know this might seem archaic to women who think palm-pilots are old relics and who don’t even use a PC anymore  — but seriously, there’s something about pen and paper — the visual and tangible.

So, what you might want to do is write down on a few different pages: lists.  You might have a “from now till year’s end” list and you might have a garden list and you might have a basic home maintenance and repair list.  These lists are sort of running lists that you’ll add to and cross off (you might reserve a section of pages at the beginning of your notebook for such lists).  Things might remain on your list for a long time — years even — these aren’t like shopping lists or activity to do lists — these are more permanent/ongoing lists.  Don’t fret over what you don’t have — just work to appreciate what you do have and take care of it.  If you cannot replace/improve it, learn to appreciate it.  Cultivate a thankful heart.  Write down “thankfulness” verses from the Bible.  That might be a page of your kitchen counter notebook.

Write it down… before you forget.

I’m suggesting this tonight because this is sort of the lull of autumn (at least here in the States) and, like the month of March, is a great time to get some things done… before the next big push.  The last big push — around here, anyway, was to get outdoors: gardening, planting, outside repairs, and then the next big push was the food preservation – jams, jellies, canning and freezing – all the “putting up” for winter.  Well, now it’s the other side… now it’s time to put everything away outside, get ready for the colder days and longer nights… it’s time to do the indoor repairs, a well stocked pantry, setting in the wood, candles, flashlights & batteries, lamp oil and other preparations and necessities.  All the things you might want to do before the next big push… celebrations and family times.  You may want to use this time for a really good deep cleaning of your home — every room, top to bottom, inside out.  Wash and iron the curtains, wash walls, ceilings, touch up paint and whatever else you might consider needing to do.

Write it down… before you forget.

And, before you forget… maybe one more list:
What were you glad you did this past year?  Write down what you’d like to repeat next year.
What were you glad you planted in the garden and yard?
What sort of garden did you envision and what really happened?
Now… write down the plans you want to hold onto for next year’s garden, next spring, next summer…

There’s a phrase and, sadly,  I know it to be so true: Fail to plan = plan to fail.
But I like this better:  Make a plan… Make a good plan… and follow through.  This is my encouragement; again, I know it to be true:  Your plans will work if you will work your plans.

Look up and write down verses on industriousness and slothfulness, hard work and laziness… these are great motivators for all of us… as we help our husbands and families.

The cool thing about notebooks is that you can still read and write in them when the power goes out or when the batteries are dead or when the phone lines are down. ;o) ♥

 

 

Dupers Duping

So, I’m drinking my tea… browsing the news (okay, yes, and checking in on Facebook), and I noticed an article about new food packaging.  Arrggghh!  If there’s a subject that’s really gotten me going lately, it is this!!  Less food in “better” packaging for more money!  Arrggghh!

Bought a box – bag – whatever, package of bathroom tissue from Costco — the marketing! Omy.  These rolls were giant rolls = like getting two regular rolls in one.  A week or so later, I’m standing there looking at the two packages.  One package contained x number of rolls, x square-inches of tissue.  This NEW!! giant roll (ahem, like getting two regular rolls in one) package had fewer square inches – for more money.   But it FELT like more — that’s what the package said.  I even took the time to jot down on my palm-pilot (well, okay, a post-it-note) the product content information.  It wasn’t enough that I could see the lesser/difference – I wanted to have my written proof.

I was going to call the company – armed with information and give them my opinion.  But I didn’t… I lost my little post it note.  And then later, I lost my nerve/incentive to call.

Then, on a couple of different occasions I was baking and noticed the saltine crackers were smaller; I was making a graham-cracker crust and I thought:  whatintheworld?  These squares are smaller, too! I opened another box – this one, newer.  Again, whatintheworld?  Already broken squares in handy take along – stay fresh – stack-packs?!?!  I do not want to take these along anywhere!  This is not handy to me!  This is not convenient to me and these are not economical stay-fresh stack packs to me!  I’m thinking: They’re not going to be around long enough to need to be kept fresh. ;o)

So, today I decided I would call the company.   On the line was someone I’m sure not born in Snohomish (but I digress).  And so, I proceeded to tell her what I thought of the handy packaging and the convenient stack packs and the economical family size – they’re neither convenient nor family size.  I told her that a recipe calling for a package of graham crackers is not going to produce same volume and so from now on, in addition to requiring the purcha$e of more boxe$, I will have to continually weigh the crackers – as I’m sure they’ll continue to repackage and reduce the volume.

I told her that consumers are not ignorant that all this handy and convenient packaging is a sly attempt to deceive consumers.  I went on to tell her this great deception is, in reality, a great insult — actually mocking the intelligence of their customers — that they’re not thinking of the customer’s convenience at all, that their packaging is not green, it’s greed!

When she thanked me for calling today, I told her I wasn’t confident my call would matter much, but that I wasn’t just calling to rant, but that I wanted them to know that I’d rather pay more (exhibit A = already do) for an honest weight and measure.  She assured me my call was important (I felt like I was on hold with GroupHealth listening to a recording).   She said they were very interested in hearing customer’s views and then reminded me that there would be some settling in the packaging.  I agreed but reminded her that I was talking about weight of the box of graham crackers, ritz crackers — not how a box of crackers or cereal looks when opened.  I told her I got that one.

I think my boys have tried that one: Ma, there’s a lot missing?!?!?!  O, it must’ve been due to settling during shipping.  O yes, boys, that must be it – silly me.

We want to believe that food companies have the consumers’ best interest at heart.  But, especially in this day and age, I’m tending to think that there’s a lot of duping going on.  It seems advertisers are working like never before to spin information to make things seem much more desirable than ever before.

So the next time you go to the store to buy a box of graham-crackers (or just about any other product)  if you haven’t noticed already, the weight/volume is less.  Again.  And, yes, the price has jumped up — on many things, quite a bit!  Consumers really are noticing these seemingly little changes. All New Packaging! Less Food! Don’t be duped by the dupers… they’re telling you they’re saving you money — and you just might buy it.  They’re keeping the height of the box the same or they’re introducing to you a new shape, a new, convenient, stay-fresh package, etc., etc.  But take another look, the box is thinner.  Those handy stack packs, those stay-fresh-stack-packs – inside are shorter.   That juice may have a new handy grab and pour design.  This only equals less volume.   This isn’t new… it’s been going on for some time… as this article shows.  In the end, they think you won’t notice anything but price.

But I know you, you’re smarter than that.

Here are a few numbers for you:

Nabisco: 1.800.NABISCO
Kellogg’s: 1.269.961/2000
Kraft: 1.847.646.200

Be clear on the concept

I snapped this photo one day when  one of our little boys was doing dishes for me and when I came in to check his progress, I noticed the dishes weren’t loaded properly — an error that was glaringly obvious  to me.  Funny thing was, it wasn’t obvious to him.  He was actually very proud of how neatly he had put the cups and glasses into the dishwasher rack.  I showed him that, while they were neat, they weren’t going to get clean inside because they would only fill with water, they would not be washed out by the sprayer beneath.

As I thought on those cups, I began to draw parallels to motherhood.  And, thus, I decided to post this photo and attach a  label to it.  Because, really, it truly does help to be clear on the concept! And so it is, unless and until we’re clear on the concept, we’re going to experience failure after failure.  And, we’ll likely want to give up.  And we may even do so!

We need to get a hold of a vision… a fruitful plan and purpose for motherhood — for our motherhood – for our mothering!  We need to seize the moment, as it were.  Because, I tell you the truth — the moments are fleeting and the time will be past before you know it!  We need to grab hold of a decision to love our families as they ought to be loved!

I genuinely believe it’s when we truly discern and determine to love and serve our families, when we begin to strive for excellence, when  we begin to grab hold of the great and precious promises of the Lord and when we seek to live in joyful compliance to His Word and His marvelous plan for our life, we will have His great blessing and encouragement and we will be joyful mothers, joyful keepers at home. But it takes a real want to!  And it takes a turning away from unfruitful things, distractions and time wasters.

Over the years, I’ve worked and reworked many plans, many routines for homekeeping… and I keep working and reworking them out as my family grows and daily activities change.  And so, it is with confidence that I share with you that there are MANY tricks you can learn and implement —and if you will— you will find you truly enjoy keeping your home! The better part of that is that your children will grow up SEEING a glad mother who ENJOYED  *BEING* a mother to her family.  I can also tell you, to my shame, that when I have NOT  diligently sought to serve and love my family, when I’ve not striven for excellence or dedication, I have failed and my family  suffered for it.  And thus, by the grace of God, I humbled myself, rededicated myself to the task and sought the Lord’s blessing — and true to His Word, He helped me, He restored my path.

As one of my daughters reminded me recently: Mama… remember how you said, your children may not remember all you did here, but they’ll remember how it felt here.  Yes, I remember saying that.  Many times.  And that’s one of the little admonitions that fuels my work and strengthens my resolve each day.

So, I just want to say to you, dear mother, you’ll do fine… just be sure you’re clear on the concept.

Could this be *the* year for you?

Could This Be *The* Year For You?

“If ye love Me, keep My commandments.”
—John 14.15

O, sisters in the LORD—could this be *the* year for you?

This is when the real change will occur… when we finally seek to know and to live the truths of God’s Word…when we lay our lives at His feet, when we give Him everything we’ve held on to: hands down… when we accept and apply the teaching of the Lord Jesus—demonstrating our love for Him by our obedience to Him…  When we finally reckon with: If you love Me you will obey Me.

Could this be the year that you really get down on your knees and confess before the only Holy and Righteous LORD, who loves you endlessly, that you’ve been trying to “go it on your own” and that you are indeed willing that He would use you in whatever way He would choose and that, the Holy Spirit being your guide, you would willingly submit to His will and His ways?  Could this be the year that you allow the Holy Spirit free reign in your life?  Could this be the year that you would seriously begin to regularly rise early to drink from the rich well of God’s Word? Could this be the year that you would resolve to live in obedience to your husband—not because of what you will gain, but because of the LORD’s command that you do so? Could this be the year that you would cherish the blessings of the LORD: your children?

Could this be the year that you would redeem the time, that you would study the Word for yourself—that you would become a woman of the Word, rightly dividing the Word of Truth. Could this be the year that you would wisely choose the activities in which you would become involved, making sure that they are in line with your husband’s aims for your family, that they are Christ centered and Christ honouring?


Could this be the year that you would weigh very carefully the books you read, the places you might go and the decisions you might make? Could this be the year that you begin consulting your husband before you begin new projects, from attending a Bible study to following the leader of a weight control program, ordering from a catalog, accepting an invitation to another home-party, or taking on another women’s ministry?

Could this be the year that you come home—I mean really come home—to serve your husband? Could this be the year that you daily anticipate and prepare for the return of your husband each day? Could this be the year that you take up those tender things and tender ways you used to do and be for your husband? Could this be the year that you “fall in love all over again” with the man the LORD created
and “fitted” you to help? Could this be the year that your husband will never forget?  Could this be the year that you look forward to meeting his needs? Could this be a year of fresh loving romance for you two? Could this be the year that you anticipate meeting his needs by getting enough rest, ordering the evenings, eating properly and exercising so that you are refreshed for him?  (“Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.  Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.” -Proverbs 5.18-19)

O, if your love for your husband has decreased, if your desire for him has gone… pray the LORD will help you delight in him once again, pray He will love your husband through you and that you will once again desire him.  God is a God of miracles, nothing is too hard for the LORD.  (Jeremiah 32.27 “Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?”)

Could this be the year that you would determine to be a contented wife, I mean really contented—content with him, his salary, your home, your  automobile, your possessions? (Hebrews 13.5) I have heard many many times, there is nothing that pleases a man more than a contented wife… he can deal with a little clutter from time to time, he can deal with a little overweight, he can deal with delayed dinner, a forgotten appointment—but a discontented wife closes off the spirit of the man and drives him away.

Could this be the year that you come home—I mean really come home—as a servant to your family?  Could this be the year that they know without doubt that you love them and *desire* to serve them, teach them, help them, prepare a home for them, are not inconvenienced by them, are not tired of them, are not waiting for them to hurry up and grow up so that you can get on with your life?  If you’re a mama… this *is* your life.  Could this be the year that you will *enjoy* what God has designed for you?  (“He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.”—Psalms 113.9)  O, if your gladness or desire has waned, pray the LORD will restore your love for the children… pray that He will help you see them as He sees them—as blessings. He loves children… and He will help you love them… (Genesis 18.14 “Is any thing too hard for the LORD?…”)  You can trust Him to help you love them the way He wants you to love them and care for them as He would have you to care for them.  He can restore your love for them — for motherhood and for your home.

You know, my sweet sisters in the LORD… this could be *the year* for each one of us. This could be the year that we all come home… and *do* those things we know that the LORD has directed in His Holy Word.

2Timothy 3.14-17
“But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them;  And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.  All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.”

Could this be the year of obedience—regardless of what others say or think or do?

Once again the Lord Jesus said: “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” —John 14.15

As we embark on another year,  I pray that you would join me in seeking all the above — that you would join me in truly seeking to be an obedient woman, keeping the commandments of the Lord Jesus, following Him, delighting also in Him: earnestly seeking Him.

With love to you, In Jesus—pamela spurling


Reprint… originally written in 2000, revised 2006 Letters to my Sisters

for the woman in the mirror

Facing the woman in the mirror…  and getting her to do what she ought:  O,  what a challenge, sometimes!!  I know this.  I know this painfully well.

And so… I want to share with you some things you might do to help the woman in the mirror. Don’t “muddle” through life… there is help and there is hope.Your tomorrows do not have to be like your yesterdays.

I’ve sometimes thought, with dread, that things will never change.  I’ve sometimes thought, again with dread, that I will never change… that I will never get a handle on this or that struggle.Every now and then, when things seem to be going swell — it seems that all of a sudden, like a strong gust of wind or a wave:  personal failures flow over me — accusations level me, fear grips me, other people’s opinions blast me.  In such times, I’m once again faced with the strong, overwhelming thought: I will never get past this.   You know, God is not the author of such a thought – the devil is the author of such a thought!!  Experience has taught me that in such times,  I need to face the trial, attack, guilt, fear, etc., etc.,  and ask what part do I have in it? What does the LORD want me to do?  And then I must yield to whatever He leads.  No matter how daunting it may seem — or how humbling.

If you’re facing troubles, dilemmas, trials, hurts, hopelessness, fear or whatever…  You may need to make some dramatic changes.  You may need to set or reset some boundaries.  You may need to completely change how you’re currently handling things. —  your thoughts, your self-talk, your schedule, your computer time, your reading materials, your food, your exercise, your conversations, etc., etc.  You’ll probably need help implementing changes.

PRAY!! Talk with the LORD.  Talk with your husband, talk with  a trusted friend.  PRAY!!  Study the Word *and* journal your studies!  Study up on the problem you’re dealing with, get help — don’t go it alone — you need to be careful to not get in a trap of defeat, of hopelessness, of worthlessness, etc.  If people have let you down or if situations are troubling you or if you’re facing depression… talk these things over with your husband and/or trusted friend.  Trust the Lord with all these things.

If there are things in your life, patterns of living, etc., that don’t bring glory to God or honour to your husband and family — confess those things as sin and repent of those things .  Set your mind to CHANGE THOSE THINGS.  Get off that path a day at a time, a step at a time.

Make a list of things you need to do.  Add to that list the things you want to do.  Arrange that list into a daily routine.  Print that list out and follow it.  Everyday: consult the list in the morning, check off the things you accomplish and review what’s left to do; set about doing them at the first opportunity.  Determine to not be deterred from doing what you know the Lord has called you to do.  Others may do things differently, others may mock you, the enemy may mock you, others may question what you’re doing – you may even be or feel rejected… but if the Lord has called you to do something, do it heartily – as unto Him.

Do good things:  good things for your husband, good things for your family, good things for you.  Doing good will require sacrifice and will likely require repentance.  Doing good may be painful or  even lonely at first. Whatever the “good” is that you’re called to do, you can be assured  if the LORD has directed it, He *will* supply for you.

If the Lord is speaking to your heart today — touching on things that need to go or things that need to be done or changed — TODAY is the day to take your first step of obedience to the Lord and yield to His call on your life.  Today is the day of salvation.  Today is the day to start doing the things you know you ought to do.  Follow the Lord today.

Seek the LORD — seek wisdom.
You will find Him and you will find peace and joy.
Things might not seem to change right away.
Things might take time to set in order.
Your life will not always be the same as it is today;
There will be another chapter.

The Lord will work all these things together for good.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
Lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him and
He will make your path straight.

Some Home Making’s

Some Home Making’s February 13, 2006

I had (late last night) decided that in the morning I’d like to share “Some Home Making’s” for today’s blog—and how faithful is the LORD—I had a direction late yesterday and He showed that He had a purpose for it today.

Our friend sent us an email this morning: “Type in your home address or a family members’ address. The web site will bring up a map of your neighborhood with small colored boxes on it. The small House icon represents your address; the colored boxes represent sex offenders in your area.   Click on the colored boxes and it will bring up the offender’s photograph and the locations, names and employers.  Click ALL AROUND, you will be amazed at the information you get!”   http://www.familywatchdog.us/ So, out of curiosity,  I did a check and was also amazed.  I also found that I just was reminded to be more careful about “strangers” and to talk to the children about “strangers” and the need to be cautious as we go about our business in town or at the park, etc.  I find that I need these simple reminders to talk to the children about the realities of life.

I think, as mothers of many children, we might sometimes tend to be lax or think we’ve covered the bases, so to speak, and sometimes forget “who knows what” as far as the different children in the family are concerned.  For example: the other day I was asking one of the younger children to do a particular task and they sort of glazed over and didn’t know what to do—and so I smiled and asked, have I not taught you that yet?  No.  No, I hadn’t.    Teaching, teaching, teaching.  It never stops—it mustn’t stop.  But we get weary in the well doing sometimes.  But again, we mustn’t let weariness lead to neglect or indifference or wavering—or worse: giving up.  That’s not an option—it may feel (some days) like an option—especially if we listen to bad counsel or the coarse talk of the day that is obnoxious and rude about the precious value of motherhood, parenting and children.

We need to stop and assess, from time to time, the understanding or knowledge of each of the children.  Not just a “what are their strengths and weaknesses” sort of assessment, but: do they know this or that basic skill.  Do they know particular numbers, protocol for different situations, how to find information they need, what would they do in this or that circumstance, etc., etc.  I always amazes me when I realize that one of the younger children missed a particular teaching and how they just went on without it or compensated for it in some other manner.  This could be anything from handwriting (how they come up with a particular formation of a letter that looks alright but is incorrectly performed) to sewing, cooking, math, cleaning, personal hygiene (bathing, flossing, tooth-brushing, wiping, etc.),  housekeeping or whatever.  Skills need to be learned, perfected and maintained.  But it requires attentive attention.  (sort of the way the LORD told the disciples:  “And he said unto them, With desire I have desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer.”  –Luke 22.15)

It’s attentive attention.  It’s hearing *and* listening.  With desire we must desire to parent and care for the children.

So, this has led to some “drilling” around here.  Perhaps not all at once and not in a scary or confrontational way, but it has meant asking questions (from time to time—for clarity and reinforcement)  of different age groups of children , from basic questions like: what is your full name, what is your address, what is your age, what is your phone number, what is your dad’s and mother’s name, what is your birthday, what do you do if a fire starts here or here, what do you do if the toilet overflows, what do you do if someone comes to you in the yard and mother is in the house, what do you do if a person we do  or do not know tells you to do something we have told you not to do,  what do you do if someone touches you inappropriately, what do you do if your are cut or injured or whatever, what do you do if someone tells you not to tell mother and dad about something—and you know it’s not a birthday surprise or something you need to discern as a “good” secret, etc., etc.   All of these things require discretion.

And then, to older children, we need to evaluate from time to time, their responses to some of those similar questions that would be occurring in their lives.   They need to know all those same answers throughout their childhood, but the scenarios will necessarily be different as they grow and mature and as their activities increase and their circle of freedom increases.  They’ll have more and more opportunities to be “out” for parental sight or supervision and will be in settings where they will have to have earned privileges and trust and will have opportunity to demonstrate maturity and trustworthiness.  For the older children, whether in home or public school, I think it’s vitally important to ask and receive answers to these and many more questions resulting from dialogue each day.  I guess we cannot just assume they know answers and right responses and we must be very careful to correct wrong assumptions and wrong responses.  This is easier said than done if the teens are older and communication has been compromised or limited.

Talking, talking, talking trough the years—and it’s never too early, I’m convinced, has astoundingly important implications and results.  Totally open communication really and truly appears to be key in any relationship—-most especially in marriage and parenting.  I’m also pretty sure it’s never too late.

So, what did all this have to do with the registered sex-offender link and information?   Everything.