Tag: Family

Be ♥ Ready

I’ve entitled today’s post: Be ♥ Ready because I think we often forget that that’s a calling we have — as believers, as mothers, as family to:  be ready!  The Lord has given us different mandates to be ready… to make ourselves ready.

Readiness will bring gladness and rejoicing!  “Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.” –Revelation 19.7
And though, we may not know when that day will come, we do know that it will come.  We are commanded:  “Be ye therefore ready also: for the Son of man cometh at an hour when ye think not.”  –Luke 12.40

We have opportunity, while it is called today, to seek the Lord, to know Him and make Him known.  We have opportunity to study, to learn, to yield, to obey, to repent and do what He’s designed and called us to do.  And as we “work out our salvation” we will be growing in grace from glory to glory.

Do you have hope?  Do you have joy?  Do you have a ready answer?

Maybe you’ve thought long about this and do have hope and joy and a ready answer — praise the Lord if you do.  But maybe you’re not sure of the hope in you… maybe you’ve not entertained this question literally or in your mind.  Today would be a good day to sit down and write out the hope that’s in you.  Maybe your walk with the Lord is young… maybe you’ve not experienced questions of others or haven’t ever articulated your faith.  I’d say it’s very important to collect your thoughts, to write out your testimony, to make sure your faith, as it were.

In 1Peter 3.15 we read: “But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:”

Many think it’s hard to witness or articulate to others who Jesus is or what Jesus has done… but it’s really very simple… it’s as simple as giving an account of where you were and where you are today and where you’ll spend eternity.  If we run out of things to share, the simplest thing to remember is to tell about Jesus.  Learn to love to tell the story of what Jesus has done for you, His love and His atoning sacrifice.  Some accounts are as simple as: whereas I was born blind, now I see.

A plane had engine trouble and crashed near our home over the weekend and while the pilot did sustain some injuries, they did not prevent him from communicating as he was being pulled from the wreckage.

He was so lucky, many were saying as they surveyed the damage.  Many asked if we feared having our home in such a location and on and on the questions and statements flowed.  At the time, and surely at the end of the day, all I  could continually consider was the matter of being ready… ready to do whatever the Lord calls us to do and ready to meet Him face to Face.  Surely, early that morning, that pilot did not think:  Hmmm, today I’m going to have a brush with death. And we certainly didn’t think, Hmmmm, this morning, we’re going to watch a plane go down.

But every day, things come up, things happen that should be reminders to us to be ready… to be ready to enter our eternal home, be ready to serve another, be ready to give a witness of what the Lord has done for us.   For even a portion of what the Lord has done for us could not be told.

Hebrews 9.27  “And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment.”

Be ready… be ready to run, be ready to answer, be ready to give, be ready to serve… be ready to proclaim.   You never know what a day may bring… and were you to know that today would be your last, would you be ready to meet the Lord?

Untangling the wwWeb – part two

This is “part two” of the previous post by the same name — you can read it here.  The reason I’ve entitled this and the previous post: Untangling the wwWeb is bcz it truly is a  tangling or entangling web.  Now, what I hope is understood here is that the web or internet or electronic communication is not the enemy — it’s not all bad.  In fact, I readily admit that it’s a profoundly invaluable tool.  But tools are just that: tools.  We utilize tools — and the right tools help us accomplish tasks much more efficiently than were we to not have them.  Tools misused or used in the wrong hands are actually dangerous.   We can think of the internet (or iPhones, smart phones or any other communication device) as a tool — a very useful tool if used properly.   Unplanned or unbridled internet use is dangerous and should, from here on, be evaluated as a properly or improperly used tool.

Here’s an idea for you.  Set the timer for 20 minutes right now or next time you use your computer (or iPhone or whatever).  Bing! the timer will ring and you’ll be shocked just how fast twenty minutes passes!  Now, for amplification, set the timer for that same amount of time before embarking on some task you don’t like doing.  You’ll be shocked how slowly twenty minutes passes!  That little exercise is to give you an idea just how much time you’ve  wasted spent invested online.   You can never get that time back.  Ever again.

In order to untangle from the web — and it is, in intensity and enormity, a world. wide. web. — I believe you must (in addition to answering those questions in “part one” of this post) admit you’re tangled in it (if you are) and then do some fessing up to yourself, to your husband, to your children.  Your fessing up may extend beyond your home.  Think back on days gone by… how were they really spent?  How much time did/do you really spend online? And, as with all addiction recovery, a course or a plan of action and accountability should be — read:  must be — established.   A lack of a plan is a plan to fail and disregarding accountability is a sure plan to cheat yourself.

You may clean the room, clean the space in your life that the net once fully occupied, but unless you fill that space with plans, purposes, activities and measurable accomplishments, that space will be filled with demons of a worse kind.   Those demons might be resentment, regret, shame, anger, self-pity, bitterness, pride, anxiety, frustration, woeful longing and on and on.  Those demons travel in a pack.

Get busy and stay busy.  Look well to the ways of your household and do not eat the bread of idleness.

Wherever you are, be fully there.  Whatever you’re doing, be fully doing it.  Whoever you’re talking with, be fully engaged in conversation.  It may shock you how disconnected you’ve been.  It may shock them how distracted you were and now aren’t! It may be weird for them–  and you — to be doing all the stuff you delegated (so you could be freed up to do all that important good stuff on the internet).  Watch out for personal  resentment if you’re not appreciated for all your hard work.  Determine to live joyfully in your home.  Purpose to change your tomorrows since you cannot do a single thing to change the yesterdays.  You can change — your days can change and in doing so, you’ll be investing in your tomorrows.

Set about accomplishing the things you’ve set aside… maybe neglected.  You know, the stuff you used to do before the the tangled wwWeb got you and your time all wrapped up.  As you do things, you’ll experience delightful appreciation for personal growth and accomplishment — interest and investment in your home and family once again.  You’ll be living all those pictures you’ve been dreaming about.  Try new things.  You sleep better knowing that the greater satisfaction comes in actually doing and accomplishing instead of just observing; reading about things other women seem to be doing or seeing pictures of all that all those other mothers seem to be accomplishing.  Keep in mind each day that the wise woman builds her house but the foolish plucks it down with her own hands.

In time you’ll establish a balance of best vs. good… literal vs. virtual… wise vs. foolish or not-so-wise time investment.  You’ll begin seeing or will begin doing all the things you knew deep down you wanted to do/you should be doing… but couldn’t do bcz you were all tangled up viewing a screen.  Drinking another cup of coffee.

♥ may you always be blessed.

Untangling the wwWeb

Untangling from an internet bound life is sort of like limiting coffee consumption (but worse. so much worse). You might not even know you’re addicted to caffeine until you attempt to go without it for a day — or, okay, a morning without it.  And then, if you’re addicted, you know it. You really know it.  Your pounding headache constantly reminds you.

It’s hard.  It’s actually painful — very painful — at first… and then, enduring the pain, you see a few days pass and the pain diminishes.   You may have given up or reduced your coffee consumption but the pull is always there… especially when you catch a whiff of the nearly intoxicating aroma of great coffee.

In time, you learn to drink a cup of coffee and be satisfied.  If you’ve been a long time coffee drinker — the kind that can’t live without coffee — it may take time — lots of time — before you can trust yourself to keep within a predetermined limited indulgence.

Maybe your deal’s not coffee or chocolate or any butter-sugar-flour combination food.  Maybe your deal’s just the internet… maybe, like me, you’ve found your life wrapped up in a tangled mess of lost time, neglected duties, distracted thoughts, misunderstandings and forgotten purpose.   In a way, it doesn’t really matter what had (or has) you distracted and off course — like I’ve said many times, even good things are the enemy of best things.  So if you (believe me, I’ve been there, been here, and fully understand) have found yourself all caught up in all the good things — the very good things of the internet — you may need to take a step back and ask yourself some hard questions.  Well, the questions aren’t hard at all, it’s the truth — or facing it — that’s the hard part.

I sincerely offer this baker’s dozen following questions… your answers may be helpful or insightful to you and may prompt you to consider the need re-chart your course.

1.  Have I left my first Love?
2. Am I doing the things I am responsible, gifted, supposed to be doing?
3. Am I accomplishing the goals and plans I have (or had) for my home/marriage/motherhood?
4. Would my husband be pleased with how I have spent the hours of each day/week?
5. Do I ignore that inner prompting to get busy with my responsibilities?
6. Do I make excuses for how important my computer related activities are?
7. Would I be willing to list some things that have obviously gone by the wayside bcz I’ve been distracted on the computer?
8. Have I heard negative comments about the amount of time I spend online?
9. Can I go a day without checking into Facebook, email, blogging, reading blogs or looking at Pinteresting things?
10. Do you frequently say the meaningless phrases, Just a minute or Just a sec?
11.  Do you feel you have a right to not be interrupted while using, browsing, writing, being entertained on the computer?
12. Do you prefer to miss activities, visits, etc., so you don’t have to miss being online?
13.  And finally, does a power outage send you into a frenzied panic?

All those questions weren’t meant to be glib or even entertaining — they’re serious questions to prompt serious introspection and reflection and hopefully give some inspiration for changing your tomorrows.

 

So you’re addicted. Now, what?

When the day of my turning point came, I wouldn’t have been more stunned had a wrecking ball come swinging into my kitchen window.  I’m now not so sure if it was the actual event or the combination of that and a heartrending revelation and my subsequent overwhelming grief that I’d squandered precious time — for years — reading, searching, creating, writing, researching… on the computer.  Good things… so many good things.

There is a silver lining…
Lord has opened His Word to me in many new ways.  I want to be careful not to exceed the context or intent of the Scriptures, so my ‘revelations’ or insights might not seem applicable to this situation — but numerous passages have spoken to my heart in new ways through these last two and a half years.  One, is that the Lord is not willing that any should perish.  Now, this pertains, ultimately, to salvation, but I’ve begun to see His love for life in a new way.  His love for eternal life, His love for unborn life, His love for the downtrodden, His love for obedience in life, and His purpose that we might have life and that, more abundantly.

Addictions limit abundant living.

No worries: I haven’t jumped ship here into name-it-and-claim-it-prosperity-(little g) gospel living.  But I do see that we limit God’s work in our lives when we live contrary to His plans and purposes for us. Being a preoccupied and distracted mother leads to all sorts of visible and not-so-visible troubles — but that’s not all — whatever is occupying our thoughts and time must be in accordance with God’s plan and design for our lives and things that hinder that or draw us away should rightly be called sin to us.  Yeeouch.  All the justifications, excuses and reasons for doing otherwise just deepens our problem and widens the sweeping damage done in our homes and in the lives of our family members.

Having the computer set up in the kitchen where it could be accessed and consulted at any hour, any time, for any length of time was like a drug to me — a gotta-have- it drug.  That’s why I can so easily and confidently call unguarded, unrestrained and  unmeasured internet use an addiction.

You know you’re addicted when you pray: Give us this day, our daily bread…  And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us [some email]…

So, now what?

When facing and fessing up to and then turning/recovering from addiction, may I say, you’re never going to make it if you try going it alone.  The devil will meet you at every turn (or log-in).  You will make provision for the flesh.  You will justify, minimize your addiction, make excuses for your ‘work’ and need to be online.   And then you’ll remember you made a deal, your regret or shame or embarrassment may come back to your mind — but admissions will not keep you on track.  Your sorrow will not keep you on track.  Your resolve will not keep you on track.  Your best intentions will not keep you on track.  Simply deciding to be done with spending too much time on the computer will not solve your deeper problem and will not prevent you from carrying on just as you had been doing.  I think that’s why the Lord taught or gave the following warning in Matthew 12:

(43-45)  When the unclean spirit is gone out of the man, it walks through dry places, seeking rest, and finds none.  Then it says, I will return into my house from which I came out; and when it is come, it finds it empty, swept, and garnished.  Then it goes and takes with itself seven other spirits worse than itself, and they enter in and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first…”

Walls and fences for wills and fancies!

AA.  Yep, AA!  No, I’m not talking Al-Anon, I’m talking Accountability and Activity!   I have learned over the last several years — and most especially in the last two and a half — that whenever a change — a drastic change — is needed, drastic measures must be taken.  And, believe me, computer addiction is that serious.  Think of the times you’ve dieted.  You don’t leave the delectable foods on the counter, you don’t snack on candy bars, sip on rootbeer floats or munch on potato chips; No, you clear those things away and gather for yourself nourishing vegetables, fruits, lean meats and water.  Additionally, you don’t sit and wait for weight to drop off — you get moving: you get busy and exercise or go for walks.  You track your progress with a scale or measuring tape.  And, better yet, you get a partner to join you: someone to whom you are accountable.  You’ve already proven your ‘self’ is not a good accountability partner.  Sadly.

So, also with computer addition.   You make no provision for the flesh — and, believe me, while simply unplugging may seem like a good solution, it’s not a real solution.  It may stop the activity for that length of time, but it wouldn’t necessarily get to the heart of the matter.   In this, I encourage you (and myself) to begin with acknowledgement and prayer.  Face the truth, look square into the face of the matter and then set up  accountability.  This provides the place to “confess your faults one to another.” (read James 5.16)  That’s a powerful verse — the third part of it tells us that the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.   Did you catch the fervent part?  This is no small problem – computer addiction; thus there’s no casual solution.  Fervency in prayer!  You won’t be fervent in prayer until you grapple with the problem and grasp its gravity.

Here’s a net-net for you.    Make a break — a clean break — you will survive and so will the masses.

Recommit. Reconnect. Re-create. Restore.

You see?  There are many REasons for facing and tackling online addiction.  But then… you’ll never know until you stop…

Next time, something of a new track to run on.


 

Savouring the Moments

The symphony of birds, buds and blossoms along with the soft greens seem to sing, Springtime’s here; another season’s underway!  With the passing of time, the Lord is teaching me to savour the moments, to watch for the signs of the seasons.  I can’t really recall if , or what, I’ve written much about the passage of a season that taught me this, but it was the slow dawning of the reality that the childbearing season was slipping away that first began to teach me to savour the moments.

I think I’ve told you how (early on) women–mothers–would tell me, “…it goes so fast: before you know it, they’ll be all grown up…” and to those comments I would nod in agreement… as if I understood.  And, I suppose, to a small degree, I did.  Actually, truth be told, I didn’t.  Not really.  And, further, I recognize that I still don’t really know the whole of it.  But what I am realizing this:  time really does seem to pass exponentially faster with each passing year.

On Saturday morning I received a text message on my cellphone.  Three simple words.  Tears filled my eyes as I read and reread those three little words.  Those three little words were packed with such hope and elated joy.  I pictured the smiling face of the one who sent me the text.  I pictured the thrill that must’ve gone into the typing of the three little words.  I closed my phone — savouring the moment and what the three little words would become.  The text read:  She said yes.

Several of us received the same text.  We knew this by the flood of texts that followed.  It’s just what happens in a big family, I guess.

As I savoured the moment, I was grinning with tear-filled eyes.  Standing there, looking out the window above the kitchen sink, I was thinking about that son’s little boy self and how he ran and played out in the yard, roller skated down the lane, did ‘canon-balls’ in the pool, shot things with his airsoft gun and found things to light on fire in the back yard.  As I lingered, I thought of the several years he’s loved this girl… I thought of the many times she’s stood right in the same place, washing dishes or having a cup of coffee or tea in the kitchen.  I thought of her little girl self… her adorable little girl self.  And then, her parents came to mind and suddenly it wasn’t just our boy and bright hopes for tomorrow — it was their daughter and all the memories of her little girl self and times gone by in her life and theirs… many savoured moments, I’m very sure.

Later, walking around our yard and then standing under the lacy green leaves hanging from the giant weeping willow tree, I looked up to see where the branch had broken off — the branch that had, until just recently, held the old tire-swing.  I knew one day that that branch would break and the tire-swing would inevitably have to be put away or maybe even possibly would be hung on from different branch… I just never thought it would be this soon.  I looked at the branch on the ground and the place where the rope had been nearly completely encircled by the bark of the branch where it had hung for so many decades — the process unnoticed, but further embedded with each passing season.  In the theater of my mind, I saw some of the childhood faces of the many, many seasons of the tire swinging from that tree.  Savoured moments.  More so, now.

The interesting thing about savoured moments is that at the time the moments don’t seem all the glorious.  I sometimes think that savoured moments become so — not because of their impact or influence at the time, but later.  Silly things, embarrassing things, surprising things,  simple things, everyday things.  Later on… down the road a bit… that’s when moments become meaningful and it’s those meaningful moments we savour.  Those simple, everyday, unremarkable (at the time) moments that somehow capture our hearts and become the stuff memories are made of — the moments we treasure — the moments we savour.

In the last couple of days I’ve had more time to reflect on those three little words… I’ve thought of the inevitable hardships, trials, heartaches ans sorrows they’ll necessarily face.   I’ve thought of the memories they’ll make, the home they’ll make together — the joys and laughter they’ll experience and the hopes and dreams they’ll share; and I marveled at the thought of the surprising ways of God they’ll surely encounter as He writes their story.  And so for all these things, I can only say, Praise the LORD and pray they’ll savour the moments that come with the passing seasons along the way.

 

Opportunities Come and Go

I mull over this phrase from time to time as I consider the many opportunities I’ve had, the many opportunities I’ve botched and the many opportunities I’ve either missed or passed up through the years.  The missed and passed up opportunities have probably hounded me as much or more than the opportunities I’ve botched.  Usually, but not always, I’ve had or take a second opportunity to repair or at least attempt to make up for that botched opportunity and usually (but not always) things have turned out okay.  But still, it’s those occasions I missed or passed up — those opportunities are the ones I most regret.  It’s probably bcz I’ll never know what could have come out of what should have been.  But then… even as I share this I know this flies in the face of my strongly held belief that God is, indeed, sovereign.   It is in these times I could be labeled a Calarminian. :-S  I know God is sovereign and what will be will be — it’s just that I can’t ever seem to be fully reconciled to that fact in the face of missed or rejected passed up opportunities.

For example:  I may botch up talking with someone about the Lord — I may get all intense or neglect to be succinct or whatever and come away feeling like I really messed up that opportunity to share the gospel, to draw someone into conversation and prayerfully into the kingdom.  But then I must consider that faith is of the Lord, and that person’s redemption is of the Lord — though He does use cracked pots to pour out His message of salvation and redemption.

My missed opportunities or passed up opportunities have been those times, though I may not have recognized it at the time,  when I clearly had the grace of God to do this or that thing and I frittered away the time or I didn’t make a call or I made the wrong call or I thought my way of handling a situation would suffice or whatever… and an opportunity to do good, to help, to encourage, to correct, to confess an offense or whatever was missed or lost.

I can’t go back and recreate those opportunities — but I can seek to correct losses and offenses and as I do so, I must leave the results to the Lord and then I can use those missed or passed up opportunities to prompt me the next time such an opportunity arises, presents itself or even seems to be present.  God is mercifully helping me through the years in His loving kindness,  all my missteps, my failings, miscommunications, misunderstandings, resentment, fears, regrets, losses, etc., etc., to watch — really watch — for opportunities and seek to not miss them.  All these problems, especially in the last couple of years,  have surely taught me that opportunities come and go — good ones and difficult ones, and it’s really imperative to daily be in the Word, to daily be in prayer, to keep short accounts and, perhaps above all, to seek God’s will and direction for each of the opportunities He brings my way.

This phrase continually comes to mind: “God does not call the equipped, He equips the called.”  So, that being understood, as responsibilities go,  I know that mine is to watch and receive, His is to present and provide, mine is to obey, His is to guide, mine is to be willing , His is to be filling, mine is to be poured out, His is to be glorified.

Opportunities come and go… O, that I would be found faithful in them.

Daffodils… an encouraging story

A Story to bless you today:

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, “Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over.”  I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead “I will come next Tuesday”, I promised a little reluctantly on her third call.
Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and reluctantly I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn’s house I was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children. I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren.
“Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see badly enough to drive another inch!”
My daughter smiled calmly and said, “We drive in this all the time, Mother.”  “Well, you won’t get me back on the road until it clears, and then I’m heading for home!” I assured her.
“But first we’re going to see the daffodils. It’s just a few blocks,” Carolyn said. “I’ll drive. I’m used to this.”
“Carolyn,” I said sternly, “please turn around.” “It’s all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience.”
After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church, I saw a hand lettered sign with an arrow that read, “Daffodil Garden.”  We got out of the car, each took a child’s hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then, as we turned a corner, I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight.

It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, and saffron and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.

“Who did this?” I asked Carolyn.  “Just one woman,” Carolyn answered. “She lives on the property. That’s her home.” Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house, small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house.

On the patio, we saw a poster. “Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking”, was the headline. The first answer was a simple one. “50,000 bulbs,” it read. The second answer was, “One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain.” The third answer was, “Began in 1958.”

For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop. Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration.

That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time–often just one baby-step at time–and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world …

“It makes me sad in a way,” I admitted to Carolyn. “What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at it ‘one bulb at a time’ through all those years? Just think what I might have been able to achieve!”

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. “Start tomorrow,” she said.
She was right. It’s so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays.  The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask,
“How can I put this to use today?”

Use the Daffodil Principle. Stop waiting…..
Until your car or home is paid off
Until you get a new car or home
Until your kids leave the house
Until you go back to school
Until you finish school
Until you clean the house
Until you organize the garage
Until you clean off your desk
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married
Until you get a divorce
Until you have kids
Until the kids go to school
Until you retire
Until summer
Until spring
Until winter
Until fall
Until you die…

There is no better time than right now to be happy.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

So work like you don’t need money.

Love like you’ve never been hurt, and

Dance like no one’s watching.


Wishing you a beautiful, daffodil day!

Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

another birthday…

 

Another birthday for one of our children.  Another day to reflect on the many blessings, provisions and calling of the Lord on this son’s life — the golden child, the brothers and sisters call him.   We all have a smile when someone says this or refers to him in this manner.  They all know they are — each one to me — a golden child, though they’d insist he is the golden child.  ~smile~

So another year, another birthday… another celebration that doesn’t look like one here tonight.  We’ll make up for it when he returns from Africa in a couple of months — but for now, we have had a day of reflection, stories and melancholy, misty eyes.  Well, maybe that was just me with the misty eyes most all day today.  It’s not that I want him to stay around here — I really don’t — but he’s such a delightful person… just missing him especially much today as I’ve been reflecting on the many things that have been particular to him.  I think back on his love for anything-pooh-bear to his love for a favourite blanket and the shiny blond hair of his younger years.  In those days his hair was cut much longer than he’d ever wear it today — in a “bowl cut” — the same style of haircut I gave to each of the other boys before and after him in their younger years.  Two brothers older and four younger than him.  Funny to hear them talk now of how they all loved their hair that way — what they don’t know is that it was the only cut for young boys I knew how to do very well.  I glanced at a pooh bear today…  stopping for a moment to remember… and smiled.

One of the wonderful advantages of the passage of time is that we accumulate many stories and  happy memories — these both bless us and bring us tears when a day such as this comes along.  And while we all miss him for as many different reasons as there’ve been minutes in this day, we’re blessed by the knowledge that he’s right where he ought to be.  And somehow, that makes everything perfect.  Just as a cake & ice cream would be the perfect thing to serve were he to be here at home tonight.

I’ve been reflecting on God’s tender preparations for me for these years — and in different ways, He’s actually prepared all of us for these days.  Showing Himself strong on our behalf, He’s orchestrated quite a mixture of joys and sorrows — gains and losses — working everything together for our good and His glory.  I see this more and more clearly as the years pass.

So, Timothy’s in Africa… adding another birthday to the number of birthdays he’s spent away from home.  I’ll get used to this — perhaps, in a way, I already am.  I think of the years he’s been in Mexico or in Africa and each time I recall, as I’ve done today, that there’s really no place I’d rather have him be.  In the hand of the Lord, anywhere in the world, is the safest and best place to be.   He’s there ministering to the saints, visiting different remote villages and participating in ministering and teaching in Bible seminars.  The opportunities have been a great source of joy and blessing to him as he spends time with old friends and new.  So you see how I could not wish for him to be here and miss all that.

Once again my heart is filled with thanksgiving — knowing I don’t deserve the great honour and privilege of all these years of motherhood.   My thoughts linger here tonight… thankful for  a son who’s in the gracious and merciful hand of the Lord.  God’s been so very kind to Timothy.

May you always be blessed. ♥

♥ Gleanings

This morning I’m reading in 1 Chronicles 21 & 22.   There King David, yielding to the Lord’s chastening, chooses his punishment:  “…let me fall now into the hand of the LORD: for very great are His mercies; but let me not fall into the hand of man.” (21.13)   For his sin of numbering the people, it’s interesting that David would choose not three years of famine, nor three months being chased by his enemies, but three days, the sword of the LORD — choosing to place himself at the mercy of the Living God.  He emerged from that time repentant, humbled and beseeching the LORD — and having just been chastened by the LORD, David found Him to be only faithful, only merciful, only just.  It was God’s great mercy David sought and found; he found the LORD to be not only merciful but worthy of all worship.

So, in an act of worship — of love, in an act of remorseful obedience, he set out to build an alter — an alter of offering: repentance, adoration, peace.  His recognition of self and His recognition of God compelled him to fall before the Living God in repentance and adoration.   It is only when we see ourselves as we are — and see God — that He is just in His dealings, that He is just in His chastening and He is the epitome of  love and mercy.  We can come to such a conclusion when we have a right view of Him and a right view of ourselves — for, surely, He has not dealt with us according to our sin or our past deeds — even according to our feeble works of “righteousness.”  He has dealt with us mercifully and graciously.  For this, we can take the cup of Salvation and say: Thank You.  Thank You, Thank you, LORD — for You alone have saved me, not given me as I have deserved but according to your mercy, You have saved me.  Thank You.

“Return at my reproof; behold,
I will pour out my spirit unto you,
I will make known my words unto you.”
–Proverbs 1.23

And isn’t this what we want so desperately — the Spirit of the Lord and His words?   We reject reproofs and we reject chastening — but it is the mercy of the LORD to reprove us, to chasten us.

We can learn a great deal from Kind David — there he erred, there he acted foolishly (admitting this himself, 21.8) and, in addition, he would seemingly lose a great deal.  In his zeal, he sought to construct an alter for the LORD as a burnt offering, as a peace offering.  But for his sin, he would not be the man to build the house of the LORD.  This would seem such a heavy burden to bear — but, again, we do see the mercy of the LORD: for He gave David the heart and mind to gather the materials his son, Solomon, would need for the construction of the house.  How merciful of the LORD!

I believe the great blessing of this whole event was was not simply God’s mercy on David, but God’s great mercy on Solomon — according to God’s great plan for blessing Solomon’s life with peace and quietness in Israel all his days.  It is from such Scriptures that we can glean that God does much more in and through the trials and tragedies we face than we could ever begin to ask or imagine.  We have much to glean from what David learned and from how he blessed and admonished his son, Solomon.   I believe we’ve been given a glimpse of the potential each life — a glimpse of how God might use us or our children, how He might redeem our failures and how He might work for our good and His glory.

Let us glean from the Word, let us be mothers who seek the Lord, mothers who don’t faint in the day of adversity or fail to carry out the great calling on our lives.   Let us glean from this and be mothers who seek His will for our children.  Consider and glean from the many blessings in what David said to his son, Solomon.

11  Now, my son, the LORD be with thee; and prosper thou, and build the house of the LORD thy God, as he hath said of thee.
12  Only the LORD give thee wisdom and understanding, and give thee charge concerning Israel, that thou mayest keep the law of the LORD thy God.
13  Then shalt thou prosper, if thou takest heed to fulfil the statutes and judgments which the LORD charged Moses with concerning Israel: be strong, and of good courage; dread not, nor be dismayed.
19  Now set your heart and your soul to seek the LORD your God…”  1Chronicles 22.11-13, 19

What prayers we can glean from this portion.   I’m ever more thankful that the Lord has given His living, timely, instructive Word.  I don’t know what I would do as a mother without the ever present Hand and witness of the Lord, without His Word, without His Holy Spirit or without the gift of Faith.

“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: that the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.” 2Timothy 3.16

May you always be blessed. ♥

Quintessential Motherhood

Throughout that week I wondered what the LORD would have me to write for that week’s letter.  And so, in an attempt to prepare a letter, I sat down to write.  Distractions, buzzers, timers, calls, the dryer’s beep-beep-beep, and the knocking at the back door… distractions.  And then I thought: distractions?  No: life.  Life is what’s happening when we’re waiting and planning for something else to happen.  And then I thought on this further and wondered: is this the story of my motherhood experience?  Has it all happened while I was waiting for something else to happen?  Have the days passed by while I was looking for a brighter tomorrow and a better way of doing things?   While hurry-scurrying around, gathering, sorting, washing, folding, packing… suddenly the time comes for a departure.

Suddenly the time-clock runs out and this game is over or the hour comes.  This is quintessential motherhood.

I came inside from the chilly porch where I hugged one of our sons and waved him good-bye-for-now.  As he drove away, the darkness giving way to light and the early morning sun casting a pink glow on the snow, tears flooded my eyes and instantly, all the compelling rush was completely forgotten in the haze of the exhaust and the taillights slowly dimming in the distance. I stood there in the cold-still waving… the asl sign for i-love-you… and found myself wondering—questioning what significant thing had I contributed to that remarkable boy’s life?  Was there anything noteworthy?  All at once  I thought of many things I’d forgotten to remember—things I suddenly realized I meant to say.  Memories instantly flooded my mind — sort of like those endearing slideshows you see at weddings — the emotionally gripping photos that chronicle lives and bring tears and laughter simultaneously one frame after another.

Part of the calling of motherhood is that there will be suffering.  There will be days of joy and sorrow.  Sort of that paradoxical truth that in every adversity there is triumph and in every joy there is an inextricable mix of delight and sorrow.  The sorrow part is the part we didn’t read in the fine print.  The sorrow part is one of the consequences of endearment –one of the consequences I didn’t perhaps expect when I first received the confirmation call from the doctor’s office or when we first saw the indicator lines in the home-pregnancy test kit.  No, in those days, we had no idea what lay ahead, what tears we’d shed or how many sleepless nights we’d spend waiting and walking.  Waiting for a child to return home or walking a crying baby from one end of the living room to the other: round and round.

No, in the early days, we had no idea what lay in store a few years down the road.  We had no grasp of where those first baby-steps would take those feet.  We had no concept that snow-tires would eventually replace those training wheels.  Even now, I probably have no real grasp of what the consequences of motherhood are.  Just as I can’t fathom the exhilaration of tremendous joy, I can’t fathom the plummeting sorrow—both are those inexplicable consequences of endearment and motherhood.

I’ve often said I wasn’t prepared for these years—the gripping anguish of regret and disappointment, the overwhelming joy proud moments bring and the unstoppable ticking of the clock and the turning of the calendar pages.  It seems new calendars are purchased more frequently now.  But in reality, nothing and everything prepared me for these days. The LORD has been with me, guiding, abiding and upholding me —preparing me for each of the next days He’d bring.  The preparation has been in the living. Bidding farewell to passing seasons and ushering in new ones prepares us for these goodbyes.

It’s quintessential motherhood: fully experiencing of all the seasons over and over. Experience, history… photographs and memories all prepare us for these goodbyes. As I look out at the morning glow on the snow… and then at the leafless, frost covered branches of my weeping willow tree, there’s sort of a melancholy hopeful looking forward to what this day will bring and how I’ll one day look back on this day.

I smile as I realize that with every good bye… there’s a welcome home.  In the end, the true joy is looking to the ultimate welcome home.

May you always be blessed.