Tag: Family

memories…

teacuppamelaA few months ago, our son married his sweetheart and it seemed that those days brought about as many tears as they did smiles as we remembered — over and over again — days gone by.  I’ve been thinking about that recently as I’ve been daily thinking of things for which to be thankful over the last thirty-five years.  I’ve been overwhelmed with thankfulness to the Lord for my husband and for the blessings — the heaps of blessings thirty-five years have brought us.  It’s amazing how many memories have come to mind — and possibly more amazing is that I cannot recall so many things that I’m sure were extremely significant at the time.  It’s as if the flood of events and experiences have sort of washed over so many of them that most of them have been covered over — buried under the more significant events and experiences.  Nevertheless, perhaps one day, I’ll be rocking in my chair and will remember things the way they were.  I got to thinking of a song that was popular around the time of our wedding… and the words reminded me to remember the laughter… and the way we were…

Memories
Light the corners of my mind
Misty watercolor memories
Of the way we were
Scattered pictures
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were

Can it be that it was all so simple then
Or has time rewritten every line
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me – Would we? Could we?

Memories
May be beautiful and yet
What’s too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget

So it’s the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember
The way we were

Empty Spaces

I don’t know what it is about “empty spaces” and my (and maybe your) insatiable need to fill them, but both are there: the empty spaces and the insatiable need to fill them.  I guess I attempt to fill full spaces, too… but that’s another story for another day.

I was tempted to take the beautiful new calendar my daughter bought for me and insert it into the oak calendar frame and rehang it clean and fresh — empty — for awhile.  But before I knew it, I was filling in birthdays — deciding to limit the notations to ‘family’ birthdays (and use my day-planner for these and everyone else’s birthdays) and other significant dates and events.

That’s when I began to think about the insatiable filling of space… spaces in rooms, on shelves, closets, cabinets… and: scheduling.   While considering  all this,  it struck me: I cannot recall ever scheduling empty space — making time for nothing; read: no thing.   Through all the many years of homeschooling, I’ve never scheduled time for “nothing.”  I’ve scheduled “free time” but it was not for *no-thing* it was/is for all the stuff that couldn’t be done in a day and somehow the hope was to get it done during what’s loosely called free-time.  I always find ways to fill and overload my “free time” so I’ll seem more productive.

Now, I know I’ve had days “off” with no real plans and I’ve frittered away the time doing nothing important and so I guess, to some, this would constitute a day of nothing — and — I have set aside days for which there are to be no “outside commitments” or no appointments, etc. But a day or a portion of time set aside for “nothing” on purpose?!?! — this, I don’t recall ever doing.  Generally, when there’s down-time, it’s a result of cancelled plans or sickness or whatever — but not something scheduled on purpose — and it seems to immediately get filled.

My dear old friend, Florence, used to say that she scheduled a day of NO THINGS after each retreat or workshop for which she was the guest speaker.   She’d do this to recharge — to rejuvenate — after speaking engagements that always tended to run long and require much “counseling” with attendees — generally coupled with long distance travel.  I always knew this was her great joy and passion, but it took its toll on her — both physically and emotionally.  I admired her careful planning and ordered life.  But, truly, I also knew that her days of doing “no” thing were anything but days of *no* things.  I know they were times of recharging, refocusing, resting in the Lord, thinking on His Word, listening to restful music and mulling over what all had transpired before the day of “no things.”

It was good for me to remember this as I was gathering my thoughts for this blog post… and I’m needing to consider this a bit more as I plan for the days ahead and all the different needs of this home and family.  And… just like I’m trying to eliminate clutter from our home’s cabinets, closets and drawers, so also, I want to eliminate clutter from our schedules — AND — to plan for more *do no thing*  times — scheduling some empty space times. I want us to be careful to follow the Lord in this so that it doesn’t become a time of silly things or a time for irresponsibility…  I believe prayerful consideration and wisdom will be key in this.

And, as an aside, while I know there’s a good place for scheduling in different seasons of life — and some seasons will have some fairly intense scheduling — but when it’s all said and done, I’ve come to think it’s wisest to simply make a list of things that must be accomplished by certain times each day – and do them.  And then a list of things that should be done at least every-other-day — and do them.  And then a list of things that must be done weekly — and do them. You see?  This way, we are trained and our children are trained to accomplish important things — decently and in order.  I think it takes some times of *no* things to focus on, be ready for and appreciate the times of more things.

So… I’m working on creating some more ’empty spaces’ from time to time…

Seize Opportunities

Seize the moment to proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ the Lord.  Our nation may have  gone over the moral cliff and it seems that doors of opportunity to spread the gospel have been closed.   Large numbers of individuals may have rejected God’s moral law, they may, in fact, reject you and the message of the gospel — but the doors are not closed.  The darker the night, the brighter the light of one candle.  Will you seize the moment and share the Light of the gospel to a dark and sin laden world?  You have the life God has given you… how will you use your life today?
Only One Life
CT Studd

Two little lines I heard one day,Traveling along life’s busy way;
Bringing conviction to my heart, And from my mind would not depart;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Only one life, yes only one, Soon will its fleeting hours be done;
Then, in ‘that day’ my Lord to meet, And stand before His Judgement seat;
Only one life,’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, the still small voice, Gently pleads for a better choice
Bidding me selfish aims to leave, And to God’s holy will to cleave;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, a few brief years, Each with its burdens, hopes, and fears;
Each with its clays I must fulfill, living for self or in His will;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

When this bright world would tempt me sore, When Satan would a victory score;
When self would seek to have its way, Then help me Lord with joy to say;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Give me Father, a purpose deep, In joy or sorrow Thy word to keep;
Faithful and true what e’er the strife, Pleasing Thee in my daily life;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Oh let my love with fervor burn, And from the world now let me turn;
Living for Thee, and Thee alone, Bringing Thee pleasure on Thy throne;
Only one life, “twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one, Now let me say,”Thy will be done”;
And when at last I’ll hear the call, I know I’ll say “twas worth it all”;
Only one life,’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

 

Consider the opportunities you might have this Christmas season…

Live a Great Love Story

I hope you’ll take time to listen to the following video clips — a three part series, foundational to both marriage and Christianity… about a God who is passionate and full of life.  And the Bible: the greatest love story ever written… God created marriage and He is passionate… Unless we have this life and this passion, we’re not an accurate reflection of our God who created these emotions and marriage and romance and love.

Sometimes we see Jesus as a great Saviour, but do we see Him as a great role model?  Regarding your marriage… Francis Chan says, “…It’s not,  ‘Are you happy?’ ”  “When people watch you interact with your spouse, do they see Jesus Christ in you?”

Whoever claims to life in Him, must walk and live as Jesus did.  Do we follow in His steps?

Watch Francis Chan and his wife, Lisa, as they minister in this three part series: Christ Centered Relationships

The First Seat on the Right Side of the Center Aisle

I wrote the following a few years after our firstborn son was married in 1998.  Thinking back on that day, reflecting on all that’s transpired and all that’s happening currently, I decided to get this out and reread it.  The same mama, similar feelings, better understanding… as plans are underway for another son who’ll marry next week.  I’m so thankful I’ve had a little more time and a few more experiences so this time is not so overwhelming (and, I don’t have a  2+ week old newborn this time).  But the emotions?  They’re very much the same.  And here you have another glimpse of my life — and maybe yours, too. Continue reading “The First Seat on the Right Side of the Center Aisle”

Things aren’t as ___ .

Hey… how’s your day going?  Anybody ask you that yet today?  What’s going on in the theater of your mind today?  I hope you’ll be encouraged on many levels today.

I can’t pinpoint the thing that drew me to remembering this today — to humming this song (The “Sunscreen” song… a piece attributed to Baz Luhrman that he used by permission, originally written by Mary Schmich). If it’s too loud, turn down your speakers… the intent here is not to blare some rappy tune but I hope a few of these life-experience tidbits of advice might be of some encouragement to you.  The thought that things aren’t always as they seem keeps running through my mind today.

Truly, the longer I live, the more I see blatantly, that things aren’t always as _____ as they seem.  You know, the bleak, sad, hard, difficult, long, terrible, fat, earth-shattering… whatever things.  It’s hard to remember this sometimes, though, isn’t it?!?  It’s not until we look at the big picture or the bigger picture that we gain a bit of perspective.  And, ultimately, it’s not until we look at God’s picture — His design — His character — His purposes — His promises — that we gain proper perspective.  Regardless our circumstances.  It only takes a moment of looking back, looking around or looking in the Word to see that our thoughts or perspectives or circumstances are not the only thing going on, not the worst thing happening — or, not the most important thing occurring.  Everybody’s got stuff going on — everyone’s facing challenges or a lot of whatever.  Everyone’s got questions, a bombardment of opinions, decisions, thoughts.  Everyone’s dealing with something.  And, to be sure,  it’s not in a song, a philosophy, a regimen or in whatever or wherever else we might try to find peace and truth.  It really is in the Person of Jesus Christ and in His life and the marvelous Truth of His Word we find all we need for life.  But, in life, when we most need to seek answers, when we most need help we often least ask for, see or accept it.

It is always there…

2Timothy 3.16  All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:.
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Lies Women Believe

I’ve been working through a workbook to a book I read a number of years ago — Nancy Leigh DeMoss’s Lies Women Believe and now, the corresponding workbook.  I’ll be writing more on this.  So, I’ve been rereading some things I read years ago and marveled that I’m still dealing with several of the same struggles. Interestingly, it’s part of what’s gotten me to work on habits, thought patterns and more.  I’d been wanting to work through/eliminate the struggles, but it’s always too daunting to revisit painful areas of life or, realizing how little progress I’ve made and the why’s behind the what’s happening now in some of my thoughts and reactions to things makes resolutions difficult.  But one thing I’m continually reminded of is the great fact that when things aren’t going right or my thoughts and reactions aren’t right, they can usually be traced back to a lie I’ve believed or something I’ve not recognized as a lie — but a lie nonetheless: something contrary to what God says.  Thus, when struggles come, there’s a decision that must be made at that juncture:  Am I going to fall into the lie? Am I going to entertain the lie (about myself or about my situation or about someone else)?  Or, am I going to ask: What does God say about this — what has God done about this — What is true here?   Again, troubles and temptations we face can usually be traced back to a lie we’ve believed.  And our next actions need to be based on Truth — or we’ll repeat the same sin spiral.

I viewed some of Nancy’s clips and then came across this one with Jennifer Rothschild and thought it might be helpful to someone today — now, some of this breaks down and there could be some argument as to some aspects of the points, so I encourage grace here so that the Truths can be understood  and some freedom realized.  I took notes and posted them below the clip for you:

Here’s a mini recap:
Lie #1: Who I am and what I struggle with is the same thing.
I am my weakness.  My struggle identifies me – my weakness defines me.  Your struggle is not what defines you, it’s what God can use to refine you.  We are not the culmination of what we’ve failed at… who we are is a reflection of God’s strength in our weakness.  Who you are is not what you struggle with.  Who you are is who God says you are.

Lie #2: Who I am and What I do is the same thing.
You are not a human doing – you are a human being. Our identity is not what we do, it’s who He says we are. It’s a lie to base our identity upon what we do — we must base our identity on what God says; His Word never changes.

Lie #3: Who I am is not good enough.
When we live with a Performance driven mentality, rather than a Provision driven mentality, we’ll inevitably feel like what we do is not good enough, because we don’t always perform perfectly and we make the mistake of   associating our performance with what makes us acceptable.  And that’s not true.  But when we live with a Provision driven mentality, we recognize that what God has performed on our behalf or what He’s provided is always acceptable.

So, here’s Jennifer’s advice, are you believing lies?  check out your behaviour…. it reveals what you believe.  Look in the New Testament — seek all the I AM statements about Jesus.  See who He is.  Make the connection: How does His life, His identity impact your life, impact your identity and how does that impact your belief system and therefore, your behaviour.

Habits

It’s sure hard to change habits, isn’t it?!?!  Habits are so engrained in us that sometimes probably often times we think we’re never ever going to change — our flesh is selfish!!  We often think maybe we just need more will power or more self control.  Have you thought this, too?   I sure have… I’ve thought that after all this time, I sure ought to be____________, or I sure ought to have done__________; but I’m not and/or I haven’t.  I know I have desire, I have ability, I have resources… and then I think on “will-power” – you know, the depletable resource we try to keep going, trying to refuel until we realize we’ve run out of fuel? This may happen over an hour, a day or a week or longer.   The thing that’s so hard is that shear “will-power” is short lived – it’s so easily depleted.  It often seems that will-power is vapor… but for sure, it’s depletable.

de·plete/diˈplēt/

  • Use up the supply of; exhaust the abundance of.
  • Diminish in number or quantity.

    • Synonyms: exhaust – drain – empty – use up – evacuate

    I’ve come to see that it’s actually a very good thing  that “will-power” is short lived and so easily depleted. I sure see that it’s why I so often see my need of the Lord so significantly — if I could do all this stuff on my own, I would think I didn’t need Him.  And because I’ve seen I cannot do all this stuff on my own: I *do* need Him.  I shake my head wondering why I continually live like I don’t need Him…  Like, I’ve got this, Lord, I’ll call on You if things get tough.  Fact is, I don’t always call on Him *when* things get tough.  And it’s never, ever a question of whether things will get tough or not — for, sure things will get tough.

    So… I’m reading different things about repatterning behaviour – or, as one author says, overwriting a bad habit with new behaviour.  The premise is that bad habits cannot be eliminated entirely but that they can be overwritten.  By overwriting a bad habit, that bad habit is turned into a good pattern or a good routine.  As an example, when a bad habit has overtaken a life, it isn’t generally something that will be easily changed/eliminated — so if there’s a desire to change that bad habit, it’s necessary to line up solutions or new patterns along with some sort of reward for sticking to the new pattern.

    I’ve found it so hard to lose weight… or, actually, to lose weight and keep it off.  It’s not a matter of will power when I’ve been able to accomplish the goal of weightloss, it’s a matter of fueling that depletable resource or setting up solutions for pitfalls.  Continuing on with the consideration of weightloss as an example, I remove the trappings or pitfalls and I fill those spaces with healthful alternatives and activities.  For example, I might have cut vegetables on the counter for snacking, cold fresh fruit in the fridge, cold lemon water in a pitcher.  I have found that if I let myself compromise, the next compromises will come sooner and heavier than each before.  A little phrase I’ve brought to mind over and over:  Make no provision for the flesh… make right provision for the flesh.  I take away or don’t go where my fleshly desires tend to wander and because I know where my flesh tends to wander, I make provision for such times.

    This principle works on so many levels.  From ways I’m spending my time, to computer use, to thought patterns, to responses, to scheduling… I need to continue repatterning… repatterning… repatterning.  I need to do this over and over and over again until I overwrite bad habits (or when beginning new ones).  Amazingly this repetition sincerely does become habit — part of the fabric of my life.  As an aside, to be very candid, I feel so weary when I’ve recognized that I’ve wandered from the path that had become such a good pattern.    When I fall… and fall back into that bad habit, thought pattern, etc., etc., I’ve learned that I must continually resort to the Lord, to the patterns He set before me.  I recognize sooner, repent sooner and more quickly request and renew my strength in Him.

    The most important thing for me to remember is that I must patiently hope in the Lord and not be discouraged when I don’t see overnight change in my life.  I must see that day by day, in faith, He is changing me.

    It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.
    Lamentations 3.26
    But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.
    Romans 8.25

    Love every day

    For the month of October (and surely, I pray, beyond) I’m determined to love every day.  Now, that could read: I’m determined to love every day or  I’m determined to love every day. I’m conscious of this double meaning or double intent and, therefore, have decided to aim to graciously pass through/live in/focus on living each day of this month on purpose.   I had come across an article, then a book and then a radio program (surely not be accident — and by the third time I could see this) keying in on the phrase: Love is a choice.  For surely, it is true, love — or the response of love/to love is a choice! We can let come what may, speak before we think, judge a matter before we consider it, respond without thinking.  Any or all of those reactions happen every day to us – in us – through us.  But the decision to love — the decision to react in love – the decision to embrace the day/season/month — just might prove to be more challenging with the sun’s rising and setting each day.

    One of the several things I’m doing/planning to do during this month is to pray each morning for specific needs that actually require more love than any other tangible thing. Another way I am planning on utilizing is to see or to watch for what the Lord has for each day by going to the Scriptures to search in the tenth chapter of a book (books of the Bible in no particular order) and the corresponding verse of the day.  So, today for example, I took a look at Hebrews 10.2.  I’ll choose the third verse in a different book tomorrow… the fourth verse in a different book the next day and so on.  October being the tenth month and using the calendar number for each day of the month gives me a great framework.

    Getting back to basics… doing the things we used to do… making soup! bread! soap! and other good things… lighting candles, singing together as a family, working on projects.  There truly are so many good things to do there’s no reason to mourn the passing of summer and all that means and fret at the entrance of the next season and all its marvelous possibilities.

    There’s a reason for this decision and resulting exercises… and if you have difficulty with changing seasons, low light, cold temps, family changes, etc., etc., you already have an idea what I’m talking about and can easily see why it’s so imperative, so necessary to embrace the day, to take every thought captive, to be renewed daily in the spirit of your mind and to give no place to the devil.  I can look back and sincerely say: an idle mind is surely his workshop and a failure to plan is a sure plan to fail.

    May the Lord bless you every day of October… and beyond.

    ed, note… this letter was saved in drafts and now today’s the 16th [I so needed this today] :

    And He took them up in His arms,
    put His hands upon them and blessed them.
    –Mark 10.16

    It’s in the valleys we find joy

    You know that… you know it’s a new day and whether you’ve faced it with dread or with joy, the truth is that today’s a new day.
    Dear sister, dear friend, dear mama… today’s a new day and if you’re in the valley today,  it’s been my prayer as I’ve prepared to write this note, that *you* will rest in the Lord today.

    No matter how the devil hounds us, especially in the valleys, we must determine today to quit looking for a way out of the valley or a way we could have, should have, would have done something different… we must determine to stop thinking we can change our yesterdays.

    I sit by the window and see the beauty of the day and determine to seek only that which is good.  Today.

    You have today.  That’s all you’ve got: today.  Maybe it’s someone you love, someone you ache over that has you in a valley today.  Maybe your life’s filled with regrets over what you couldda, shouldda, wouldda done.  You can’t see it today, maybe, but you will have joy through this storm.  If you’ve got a prodigal today, do something today… pray, call, pray, seek to communicate, pray, quit doing the stupid in your life and live the rest of your days — by the grace of God — according to all that He has commanded you.

    If you’ve botched friendships, schedules, plans, relationships — whatever — you cannot do a thing about the yesterdays — in terms of thinking they could be or could have been different — but, by God’s grace and His work in and through you — there can be a change in you today.  Sure, things could have been different, but they weren’t.  So… today.  You have today.

    May the Lord bless it and give you peace.

    Two years ago today our dear son Timothy woke from a coma… I could not have known that day how many “new days” I would experience, how many disappointments I would face, how many misunderstandings, regrets, stupid things, problems, joys and sorrows, delights and losses I would face.  But, one thing I have held in my heart and in the forefront of my thoughts is that God is only good all the time and whatever happens, it’s not in the troublefree, carefree, effortless times we grow… it’s in the valleys we grow.  It’s in the valleys we learn to walk hand in Hand with the Saviour.  It’s in the valleys we cement our faith in Him.  It’s in the valleys that trust is imprinted on our hearts.  It’s in the valleys we grow in grace.

    It’s in the valleys we find joy.